Post: #1

Here's one for the record books:

Quote:Albuquerque| A New Mexico woman was finally arrested this morning by officers of the Albuquerque Police Department in what could be the most extreme case of stalking ever recorded in the history of the country. The 28-year old woman allegedly not only called her ex-lover a formidable 77 639 times in a week, but also sent him 1937 emails, 41 229 text messages, 217 sung messages and 647 letters in the same period.

Linda Murphy, who has an history of obsessive compulsive behavior, would have badly taken her breakup with William Ryans, with whom she had had a relationship for three weeks. She is accused of using up to three phones at once to call her him, 24 hours a day, on his cell phone, home number and at work. The woman would have ingested large quantities of energy drinks and amphetamines to remain awake and would have gone sleepless for a week, calling her ex nonstop.

“My client is profoundly relieved that Ms. Murphy is finally behind bars” stated the plaintiff’s lawyer, J.D. James Kiroy. “He hasn’t been able to sleep, work or enjoy life in any way, for more than a week. He was having a hard time thinking clearly and was nearing depression, it was about time the harassment ceased. Now all we want is for Ms. Murphy to get the medical help she needs, and for the law to keep her away from my client.”

The accused is expected to appear in the state court tomorrow in Albuquerque, and most experts presume that the judge will order a psychological evaluation of the woman to determine if she is capable of standing trial.

http://worldnewsdailyreport.com/usa-woma...in-a-week/





I feel bad for both of them, I don't even know how you would treat OCD that severe, nevertheless, the first thoughts that came to my mind:


Her expression is upon realizing she didn't have an "unlimited plan" option with her wireless provider.

Considering how much she sang, and assuming she sang songs not of her own creation, this years Billboard Top 100 could very well trigger crippling PTSD in this guy going forward.

You think she switched to text-speak after the first 10,000 msgs for efficiency?

I can only imagine the Death Grip she must have after all that letter writing too.

Post: #2

I can safely assume that he was piping her the fuck out.

Post: #3

A week long callathon... damn what took that guy so long to act?

Post: #4

That is more calls than a Jerry Lewis or PBS Telethon.

Post: #5

That's 15 calls a minute for EVERY hour that week. And all the other stuff. How is that even possible?

Any bets who she made her one phone call to???

Post: #6

damn even though shes a fat acne-prone bitch I bet that pussy pass is gonna get her out of the same sentence a man would get. She'll get a restraining order and slap on the wrist.

Then she'll start a blog about how patriarchal the US is.

Post: #7

Dude must have been slinging some world class dick

Post: #8

That's why you never give nasty bitches Grade A dick strokes.

Post: #9

Post: #10

Ok people. Like the Quadruplets of different races story, this is also fake.
World News Daily Report is a satire site.

Fuckers have fooled me in the past... but looking at a few of their other headlines will make it pretty obvious "Dead cow brought back to life by lightning."

Post: #11

Yeah, fake. The picture in the OP is originally from this much more plausible story:

http://www.news9.com/global/story.asp?s=12163912

   

Post: #12

I was so busy laughing at potential punchlines I didn't even check the rest of the site/stories, good to know for the future.

Post: #13

The real story lends proof that they researched a picture to lend credibility to the "crazy bitch" tag she deserves.


To bang or not to bang crazy?