Post: #1

I'm without roots. Since I've been 18, I've bounced around the world. Went to college far from home where I knew no one. Took first job far from where I went to college and my hometown. Second job far from all three. Even my hometown, no one I'm friends with lives there anymore. My parents are about to move and I'm starting to realize that once that happens there's really no personal connections to where I grew up anymore. The place where I grew up, I have really no reason to visit anymore. The people have changed, hell even the architecture has changed. It seems like everyone else has roots but me. I'm trying to be my own man, and I understand a certain degree of isolation comes with that (it's lonely at the top, and that's where I'm trying to go). I don't really have a place I call home. If there's anyone else like this, please share your experience. I don't really have an end game with this thread beyond hearing other people's experience with this.

PS from what I hear from non-north americans, it's uncommon in other parts of the world to detach yourself so significantly from your hometown (this is coming from other anglosphere citizens as well...Aussies, South Africans, brits, etc.)

Post: #2

I'm in the same boat. In my home town, people will remember me, but we have no shared history. The friends I had growing up have either moved elsewhere, have started families and are hard to keep in touch with or are just people that I prefer to avoid now.

I went to university in a different country. Most of the people I met there have moved on, with a few exceptions.

I'm back in Beijing now and I'm essentially starting from scratch, since everyone has pretty much left since I last lived here in 2008.

I like it though. I appreciate the opportunity to re-invent myself every so often.

I don't necessarily plan on staying in Beijing forever nor could I realistically, so I can see myself going through several re-inventions in the future, if not a couple dozen over the years.

I don't have a strong desire to settle down.

Post: #3

Them feels. Since we're somewhat on this topic and I don't know if another member has touched up on it but anyone else feel a lack of belonging when you're bi racial?

Post: #4

I've been the same since I was 18.

Minus the feeling of the lack of belonging to somewhere or needing a home. It's never bothered me, but always bothers people I know (family and friends) lol.

I'm kinda like a roaming lone wolf personality type, who sometimes likes to run with the pack, but not wanting to really be a member of one, or making my own cave somewhere in the woods with my wolf bitches.

Post: #5

Count me in. I was born somewhere in Europe and lived there until grade school. Moved to the US and stayed there until graduating college, whereupon I promptly caught the first flight to Shanghai. I've been back in the US for nearly a year now, but in a few more months I'm going back to Asia and figure to stay there for the rest of my "youth." What happens after that I don't know.

I'll say this, it's certainly a tad disconcerting when you sit down and ponder your lack of a constant, a place you can actually call "home." At the same time, it's exhilarating knowing that your fate is in your hands and that you are but a shadow passing through wherever you happen to be. You are defined by what you are doing at the moment and what you will do in the future, not by the weighted average of your past decades of existence.

Post: #6

I'm not completely without roots, since I have a large extended family that all lives in the same region. It's just not where I live. When I was 19 I left home and I haven't been back much in the last 10 years. 2 weeks every 18 months is normal these days. I'm not friends with anyone I knew in high school, and when I am home I only see my immediate family and maybe 5-6 others (always the same ones).

Not only am I living someplace thousands of miles from my hometown and family, but my life is nothing like any of theirs. I'm not getting married or settling into some normal career. My life experiences have diverged so wildly from the norm in my family that I can barely relate to anyone I know personally, including my immediate family. That makes it fairly pointless to discuss anything but superficialities with them.

Where I live I only consider a few people friends despite knowing a lot of people, and I'm leaving in a year to live in a place I've only passed through in the past. Hopefully within 5 years I'll be out of the US entirely. I'm in the process of liquefying my assets and cutting down my possessions to a bare minimum so I won't be tied to any location by the shit I own like I am now. I want to be able to pack my car, hitch up my motorcycle trailer behind it, and drive into the sunset on a whim.

Right now I am homeless and staying with friends or camping, so that's interesting. I've never gone without my own apartment before.

Mostly my lack of roots has been unnoticed, though it was occasionally a pain in the ass in the past. I don't mind loneliness. I am very much an introvert and it is extremely wearing to be around people all the time, but at times I could've really used some help and there was nobody to call. My pride is a problem there as well, as it is very difficult for me to ask for help sometimes. Things are usually very, very bad before I ask for help.

In all, though, I really like my lifestyle. Since I gave up on the idea of getting married and having a family, which I finally fully let go just a few months ago, nothing appeals to me more than being able to drift around without attachments as I please.

Post: #7

I guess I can relate in that I have roots but nothing in common with most people anymore. I've pretty much discovered I had friends in name only, and that I was actually alone with only 3 or 4 friends period. I'm just lonely now I guess but what can I say tomorrow comes. Just live for yourself if nothing else.

Post: #8

You create your roots wherever you want.

I am in a similar situation. I live in Eastern Europe now, because it suits my fancy for now and women are fine.

I plan to move to Japan sometime soon. I consider myself a world-citizen. (I know that is the PC-UN-talk, but I don't do it for them.)

Some people are more connected to their home and others could be constantly on the way.

I still stay in touch with friends worldwide and visit often just as I meet my family, so I don't consider myself without roots. Your roots are where you are living right now even as it may be for 6 months. That's how I see it.

But maybe I am a bit different, since my dream job would be Interstellar Space Explorer - might return to Earth every 5-10 years or so - maybe Jezebel would be shut down then:

   

Post: #9

I know the feeling.

Lived in three countries.

Moved house 14 times.

Changed school 8 times.

So now I have a few areas I consider home - but I don't have particularly strong ties to any of them. Maybe London because I spent 6 full years there.

Wald

Post: #10

I have also moved around alot and I forget other people haven't. I have to keep that in mind when I don't care about what is going on locally or if billy from 8th grade married suzy from 7th and then had 4 kids...My mentality is just that millions of other people have done that. That or when someone looks at you funny when you break tradition or equate the law with morality. Things like age of consent, retirement age and drinking age are good examples of how people with roots think their local law is the right way it should be everywhere.

Anyway. Derek Sievers http://sivers.org/ a guy with as few roots as you can get wrote an interesting post about being a global or local citizen. If you are someone that travels or has moved alot, you tend to think on that scale and be ignorant of may important local things. You find other global people wherever you live. The same for those that are local. They know everything about the area in which they live and tend to be friends with other locals. As a global person you tend not to be concerned about who your neighbors are, but more about your online persona.

Each persona lends itself to certain things ie. if you are a local persona you would do better at opening a restaurant, residential real estate, auto shops, bars. Those require strong local connections and depth.

Post: #11

Same here. I have no Country to call home. All about feelings.

Post: #12

No roots here. Not been back home in 22 months and won't do so.

I love it. I can go where I want without being guilt tripped and sucked back across the Atlantic.

I don't keep in touch with university friends back in England. Where everyone else sunk into the grind after uni I fought for a way out.

The weirdest thing is when my students ask me "When will you go back home?!". Tonight. After work. Bangkok is my home.

Post: #13

I feel you guys. It's only been two years since I left "home" but since then I've been traveling and living in different places and the place I spent my childhood and went to high school doesn't seem like anything more than a dream from a past life. I realize now that I never really lived until I left America, and that basically my entire social education and awakening has been in the last two years, before which I simply mostly stayed home, read books and prepared my mind for the journey ahead.

Post: #14

(06-12-2014 10:27 PM)nek Wrote:  I'm without roots. Since I've been 18, I've bounced around the world. Went to college far from home where I knew no one. Took first job far from where I went to college and my hometown. Second job far from all three. Even my hometown, no one I'm friends with lives there anymore. My parents are about to move and I'm starting to realize that once that happens there's really no personal connections to where I grew up anymore. The place where I grew up, I have really no reason to visit anymore. The people have changed, hell even the architecture has changed. It seems like everyone else has roots but me. I'm trying to be my own man, and I understand a certain degree of isolation comes with that (it's lonely at the top, and that's where I'm trying to go). I don't really have a place I call home. If there's anyone else like this, please share your experience. I don't really have an end game with this thread beyond hearing other people's experience with this.

PS from what I hear from non-north americans, it's uncommon in other parts of the world to detach yourself so significantly from your hometown (this is coming from other anglosphere citizens as well...Aussies, South Africans, brits, etc.)

Had a good friend called Paul Cunniffe. He wrote an album of music around what you are experiencing. It's called 'Excuse my accent' iirc.

Paul was uprooted several times. Ireland, England. He never fitted in.

Same thing with me.

You aren't alone. There are a lot of us about.

It has its disadvantages. And it has its advantages.

Every man must steer his own ship, be Captain of it, Bosun and lacky too.


See ship's hierarchy:
http://www.brethrenofthegreatlakes.com/f...topic=72.0

That's me at the bottom - musician == scum. But times change. Life is what you make it.

Find a place where there are others like you with similar experiences and outlook. Re-group, get it together. Take over the world while everyone else is sleeping snug in their comfortable beds.

I exaggerate. For effect. I must stop doing that.

Anyway, hopefully you got the point.

Post: #15

In one way I admire you guys who feel rootless.
I would like to have that feeling of freedom. I have a strong family history that aint easy to wash off. Example, the house and the land I live on I inhereted from my father and he inhereted from his.
I'm in the 22:nd generation of a straight bloodline from father to be the godfather of this little hill.
Maybe longer, but things are not documented before year 1501.

I would like to not care about this and just sell everything away which would give me freedom for decades in SEA.
But I can't see myself doing it. It feels like I would betray all my ancestors and they would resurrect from the dead and haunt me forever.

A lot of people in FSU are rootless people, tactical move of Stalin to deport people from their homes. " rootless people are easier to control"

Post: #16

(06-13-2014 09:23 PM)Chaos Wrote:  A lot of people in FSU are rootless people, tactical move of Stalin to deport people from their homes. " rootless people are easier to control"

There seems to be something similar going on in the U.S.

Most of the people I've met in the big cities seem to be just looking out for themselves and waiting to stab you in the back as soon as it's convenient for them. You're not going to meet any "real friends" here.

I've never lived in the same apartment for more than 2 years since I left my parents place when I was 18 between college, professional school, and dealing with landlords and their bullshit.

In American culture, outside of your immediate family, no one is going to give a flying fuck about you regardless of what they say in the short-term. This is a very cold, cutthroat place.

Post: #17

(06-13-2014 09:23 PM)Chaos Wrote:  In one way I admire you guys who feel rootless.
I would like to have that feeling of freedom. I have a strong family history that aint easy to wash off. Example, the house and the land I live on I inhereted from my father and he inhereted from his.
I'm in the 22:nd generation of a straight bloodline from father to be the godfather of this little hill.
Maybe longer, but things are not documented before year 1501.

I would like to not care about this and just sell everything away which would give me freedom for decades in SEA.
But I can't see myself doing it. It feels like I would betray all my ancestors and they would resurrect from the dead and haunt me forever.

A lot of people in FSU are rootless people, tactical move of Stalin to deport people from their homes. " rootless people are easier to control"

You can still travel around extensively. I know people who are 50% of their time in some other country.

It is in my opinion necessary to have bonds with people and family if you have a good one. Some people prefer to be complete loners, but those are only a few.

Post: #18

Ain't it funny how like minded people can relate to each other! Same here as I've been in Toronto for 2 years from Montreal and on my way out west for the Oil field... and then the unknown once again!

Post: #19

(06-13-2014 09:23 PM)Chaos Wrote:  In one way I admire you guys who feel rootless.
I would like to have that feeling of freedom. I have a strong family history that aint easy to wash off....

...A lot of people in FSU are rootless people, tactical move of Stalin to deport people from their homes. " rootless people are easier to control"

I understand your envy - but I envy you also.

I have no idea what it's like to live in a place for more than 6 years and really feel attached to a place or belonging to somewhere.

I long to stop moving - and have a place I can truly call my own as a home and develop ties that will last centuries, if not millenia. That does not mean I can't travel - I just want a home base. A place to know where I come from and where I will be, no matter what happens.

As for my life dreams, part of it is creating such a place for myself.

Wald

Post: #20

Kind of. Grew up fast, moved around from school to school. Stayed in touch w/a few people, but mostly traveled a lot and stayed home (as a young-in). Oddly enough, I started only developing "roots" in 10th grade, then moved to college, then moved to grad school, then moved back home. Nowhere long enough to "settle".

I am going on 2 years here in LA, but feel the wanderlust coming up.

Putting down roots is great for business purposes. People treat people they see often better. It makes you part of the "in-crowd"