Post: #1

Since we already have "funniest flake threads" and "Funniest cock block threads", I figured we should have a funniest "Blue balls thread." Since girls are putting out more than ever before, I doubt many of you have a blue balls story to relate, but on the off-chance that at least 1-2 of you have been shut down from entering the cooch at the last possible minute, I figured you 1-2 guys could put your stories in here. I'll get us started off with a story that was related to me by a girl on one of the fake dating profiles I have.

So it was a typical POF fuck date. Chick "meets" guy on POF, arranges to "hang out" at his house. She is over there, "watching" a movie with him. He is horny as hell, touching, petting, trying to get her to make out, but she isn't really responding. Anyway, after the movie ends, she finally starts to make out with him for a bit. They both get naked and they walk into his bedroom to fuck, when she tells him that she has some crazy sex toys in her car. He gets excited about this, so she throws on her clothes and walks out to her car (which is parked out on the street right in front of his house). She proceeds to climb right into her car, and drive away while he is standing naked, staring out of his bedroom window. About 5 minutes later she gets a string of really nasty texts from him, calling her a fat bitch and telling her that he wasn't attracted to her anyway, blah blah blah.

^^^^God help me, but I couldn't stop laughing when she told me that story. The image of him standing there naked, in his bedroom window, watching her get into her car and drive away is priceless, haha!

Post: #2

I might just be in a grumpy mood but I don't find that story massively funny, sorry.

Post: #3

The day I lost my virginity.
Had rode a fourwheeler to her house to hang out (not old enough to drive yet).
We're in her room, door shut, slide up her skirt and start doing things. At no more than five minutes in I'm getting close, I'm about to bust and her mom opens the door.

We separate.

Her mom acts like she didn't know what's up but immediately starts making plans for us to go to her nieces bball game.

I nearly puked it hurt so bad.

To every female rant about how blue balls are a lie?
I've had them.
Yeah some guys probably just bitch to get sympathy head... but it happens for real too.

Post: #4

Post: #5

There's nothing funny about blue balls, Sir.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #6

(06-09-2014 10:20 AM)Tarleton Wrote:  So it was a typical POF fuck date. Chick "meets" guy on POF, arranges to "hang out" at his house. She is over there, "watching" a movie with him. He is horny as hell, touching, petting, trying to get her to make out, but she isn't really responding. Anyway, after the movie ends, she finally starts to make out with him for a bit. They both get naked and they walk into his bedroom to fuck, when she tells him that she has some crazy sex toys in her car. He gets excited about this, so she throws on her clothes and walks out to her car (which is parked out on the street right in front of his house). She proceeds to climb right into her car, and drive away while he is standing naked, staring out of his bedroom window. About 5 minutes later she gets a string of really nasty texts from him, calling her a fat bitch and telling her that he wasn't attracted to her anyway, blah blah blah.

This is a bullshit story. No guy is going to turn down steamy pussy on the plate--when they're both already naked--for some stupid sex-toy play that involves leaving the house. That's like wiping your ass before you take a shit.

Either you're trolling us or the girl who told you this story trolled you.

Post: #7

It was a POF girl who told me that story, tuth. With all due respect, I believe that she was telling the truth because she was cracking up (belly laughs and full-fledged guffaws!) AS she told it to me. You know, the type of laughter someone naturally/normally emits when they are reliving something hilarious that they still get a kick out of.

Post: #8

back in the Ignorant Days, i was on a university third world development trip in Central America. After the work part me, another guy and 4 girls, all at least 7s, go on a pleasure trip. Hostels, open bathrooms, zero privacy. I was sleeping in a bed with the younger sister of one of the other girls (older sister was my buddy's ex gf, so hands off). She was 18 and the flirty type, i was as bad at getting girls as can be, so it just led to the worst blue balls you could imagine...with nowhere really to take care of it. Me and the other guy go jet skiing one of the days; well, splashing water from jet ski wake and blue balls really does not go good together. So at night when-i thought-everyone was sleeping i go "take a shower". The stalls have sort of five foot high walls, i'm a croucher. I paint the wall, stand up...and meet a set of eyes. I didn't know exactly who it was, but to this day i'm assuming it was one of the others, as it was weirdly awkward around the girls the rest of the trip, needless to say, got nothing. Silver lining, me and my good friend tag teamed the younger sister about 6 months later haha

Post: #9

(06-09-2014 10:30 AM)CrashBangWallop Wrote:  I might just be in a grumpy mood but I don't find that story massively funny, sorry.

I've got a .22 caliber air rifle that fires at 900 ft per second. She's gonna need some new windows.

Post: #10

My buddy took a $40 cab ride to go meet a chick that was dirty texting him all night. She had a change of mind when he got there and politely told him to sleep on the couch. I still bust his balls to this day.

Hmmm 4 weeks ago I met a girl at the club exchanged numbers. After exchanging some texts around closing time I called her telling her the night is young and since we own the night send me your address lets after party. She said she would meet me at the Tim Hortons close to her house. Blinded by my egoic pursuit of 100 notches coupled with a dash of pure unadulterated thirst I made the 30 minutes drive to her neighborhood. I get to Timmies and she wasn't there so I called her twice and got the stupid voicemail. I woke up the next day to a text from her apologizing for falling asleep, I deleted her number and promptly charged her to the game. Funny thing is I believe her but my dick has a bad sense of humor so I don't joke with it.

Post: #11

damn Ozzie, u are on the verge of banging ur 100th ho??!!!!