Post: #1

TL;DR: Do you have friends with hot girlfriends or wives who just aren't banging them much, even though the girl wants it? WTF is with those guys?

Something I've experienced repeatedly throughout my life is living with a friend and his hot gf/wife, and finding out they hardly ever bang.

When I was in the army I was living in a big house with a friend and his smoking hot wife (and some other people). Imagine Linda Friday, but 18, with real tits. They almost never had sex and she would complain to me a lot about it. She was very high sex drive and so desperate she was ready to hook up with girls just to get off. That was torture because I wanted to fuck her so bad it was ridiculous (this was like 7 years ago and she's still wank material) and she was completely into me too, but I wasn't going to screw up my friendship with a guy I fought next to in Iraq over it. I mean, WTF? Dude had a solid 9, 18 year old wife from back home and she was apparently down for threesomes and everything and he never took advantage of it. They ended up getting divorced after less than a year.

Right now I'm staying with friends off and on for the summer while I sort my shit out. My best friend, his brother, and his GF live here and I'm sleeping in a camper. His girlfriend is pretty hot, she's 21 and about a 7 objectively but I would rate her as a 7.5-8 personally. She's fit and she looks a lot like Dani Daniels (but only 5'0-5'1 so not as well proportioned). Now, I'm not trying to eavesdrop or anything but the doors and walls are thin here, so if someone is fucking it's hard to miss. They go to bed 2-3 hours before me every night and I have yet to hear anything like normal sex noises that would prompt me to put my earbuds in. They never retreat to the bedroom during the day when they're home either, never take showers together, etc. Talking to his GF last year she complained to me that their sex life wasn't good, I don't really remember the details, and I can only conclude after living here for a few weeks that they either have the most boring, quiet sex ever or they just aren't banging. Their relationship is more like a weird lovey dovey business partnership than anything else. From the way he discusses the relationship it seems like while he likes her, she's more important to him as a financial partner than anything else, as a way to bring in more money.

I have other examples as well, it's not just those two. By the way, in neither example above is the guy an ineffectual chump; they're both energetic, driven guys. Just apparently without any meaningful sex drive. Also, both started out pretty alpha in their relationships but the first example failed to provide leadership and direction, and the second apparently cranked the beta tap wide open while I was away. I literally feel ill at some of the shit he does.

When I'm dating a girl I'm banging her every day I see her at least once, period be damned. Usually the neighbors will know about it, let alone housemates. It's funny and a bit embarrassing looking back how much my parents could hear of me banging out girls in my room above the kitchen in high school and on leave. So...

WTF is with these guys, that they have hot girls with high sex drives and they just can't be bothered to screw? Is this a relatively normal thing? Has anyone else witnessed this sort of thing?

My conclusion is the two guys mentioned are/were in their relationships for convenience, in the first case for marriage benefits in the army and in the second as a way to bring in more income, and they're not banging much because they're just not that attracted to their girls. Maybe there's more to it, but I have a lot of trouble wrapping my head around committing to only bang one girl, and then not even banging her.

Post: #2

I hear this all the time from attractive women. I have wondered what the cause of this is.

Is there something in the water, weed, Western junk food, excessive alcohol, the limitless novelty of net porn?

Post: #3

(06-04-2014 04:16 AM)weambulance Wrote:  WTF is with these guys, that they have hot girls with high sex drives and they just can't be bothered to screw? Is this a relatively normal thing? Has anyone else witnessed this sort of thing?

I'm sure the dudes would jump at the chance to fuck someone else - even ones less attractive than their wives.

It's not that they have no sex drive, it's that fucking the same person - and only that person - can (and possibly always does) become boring.

Post: #4

I think far too many are addicted to porn as it's accessible 24/7, anywhere.

Not the issue in all cases but I think it plays quite a factor. Guys are getting desensitized to the real thing in large numbers.

Post: #5

I guess I don't know what a truly monogamous long term relationship is like. Maybe it does get boring. I cheated throughout my only long term relationship (2 1/2 years), my girlfriend knew about it at about the 1 1/2 year mark and suspected it before that. Our sex life only got better once she knew for sure that I was straying. When we broke up it had nothing to do with the cheating, we just grew apart.*

I think that's why I strongly prefer a soft harem or a main girl + side pieces to racking up a large notch count. I think banging the same girl(s) over time leads to way better sex than a bunch of short flings or ONSs. Plus I am into some things that it takes time to ease a girl into. But other than the one long term GF, I've never banged a girl for longer than a year before moving on.

If getting married or being truly monogamous means my dick will stop getting hard for the 18 year old 9 sharing my bed, count me the fuck out.

*Actually once we broke up and I went and banged one of the girls I'd been cheating on her with, suddenly it was a total shitstorm. So it's cool for me to cheat when we're together, but once we break up I'm supposed to just hang my cock on the wall? Women.

Post: #6

1. A great quote, from where I can't remember, but "show me a hot girl and I will show you a guy who is tired of fucking her"
2. There are some guys with low and then crashing sex drives in relationships...why I don't know? but I ended up banging many of their wives when i was younger, so its a bad idea rut to get into if you are a dude.
3. I don't think sex dies all of the time in a monogamous relationships. I think those relationships are just very noticeable to dudes because the women start to give off that vibe/those eyes.

Post: #7

Hey all, low sex drive guy here.

What gives you say? Well, mostly it all stems from my attention being diverted elsewhere. I'd rather play violin, workout, read, and do hobbies that I enjoy. The release I used to get from banging isn't much of a release anymore. It's still fun, but so is using my left hand.

Do your friends focus their energies elsewhere? Dare I say it, my "sex drive" is being used to power other things beyond sex.

Post: #8

(06-04-2014 09:46 AM)frenchie Wrote:  Hey all, low sex drive guy here.

What gives you say? Well, mostly it all stems from my attention being diverted elsewhere. I'd rather play violin, workout, read, and do hobbies that I enjoy. The release I used to get from banging isn't much of a release anymore. It's still fun, but so is using my left hand.

Do your friends focus their energies elsewhere? Dare I say it, my "sex drive" is being used to power other things beyond sex.

Napoleon Hill! Is this sexual transmutation?

Post: #9

I was like that a few years ago when I was married. Not a real desire to have sex and I didn't seek it outside the marriage either. After the divorce, total change in attitude and drive. It was just my frame of mind during the time.

Post: #10

(06-04-2014 04:20 AM)N°6 Wrote:  I hear this all the time from attractive women. I have wondered what the cause of this is.

Is there something in the water, weed, Western junk food, excessive alcohol, the limitless novelty of net porn?

For 25 percent of women, the cause is anti-depressants. A quarter of all US women are supposedly on these meds (source here), and they're known to kill the sex drive.

There are tons of sources regarding the effects of these drugs on people's sex lives. Here are a few:

http://www.pbs.org/thisemotionallife/blo...epressants
http://tips.blogs.cnn.com/2008/12/15/wha...-sex-life/
http://www.alternet.org/story/156232/tak...e_misnamed

Post: #11

Dr. Howard, perhaps this sounds familiar? "Show me a pretty girl, with the world stuck to her and i bet you there's a brother that's tired of fucking her." - immortal technique.

Post: #12

Vroom said it.

after banging the same girl for a year straight, I'd much rather do something more fun than banging her again. And again. I always did enjoy cheating for the thrill of fucking some other girl. It's not so much the sex that gets boring, it's the girl. She can keep it interesting by going along or introducing new rhings in the bedroom but it only lasts so long.

Breaking up always did wonders for my sex life. Banging a few girls and the ex as well. If you reduce the frequency of sex and cut all the bullshit out of the relationship, it will be better but at the end of the day everything will eventually become tedious

Post: #13

(06-04-2014 10:22 AM)mastauser Wrote:  

(06-04-2014 09:46 AM)frenchie Wrote:  Hey all, low sex drive guy here.

What gives you say? Well, mostly it all stems from my attention being diverted elsewhere. I'd rather play violin, workout, read, and do hobbies that I enjoy. The release I used to get from banging isn't much of a release anymore. It's still fun, but so is using my left hand.

Do your friends focus their energies elsewhere? Dare I say it, my "sex drive" is being used to power other things beyond sex.

Napoleon Hill! Is this sexual transmutation?

Apologies to the mod team, but:

Lolwut?

Post: #14

(06-04-2014 09:23 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  1. A great quote, from where I can't remember, but "show me a hot girl and I will show you a guy who is tired of fucking her"

Be with any girl long enough for her to feel secure in the relationship, and she'll stop pretending to be someone else to impress you, which is when her real personality emerges, which will greatly-diminish her beauty in your eyes.

Post: #15

I have one good friend who is a "red pill white knight", if that makes sense.

Very alpha demeanor, yet very beta around his wife. Gets mad if she goes to the supermarket by herself. Always spending most of disposable income on buying her whatever she wants. Spent like 25K on the engagement ring.

Is convinced his high paying career and expensive car equates high level alpha, even if his behavior is beta. Doesn't buy into any political causes or that, red pill in how he sees the world.

Post: #16

(06-04-2014 05:35 PM)la_mode Wrote:  I have one good friend who is a "red pill white knight", if that makes sense.

Very alpha demeanor, yet very beta around his wife. Gets mad if she goes to the supermarket by herself. Always spending most of disposable income on buying her whatever she wants. Spent like 25K on the engagement ring.

Is convinced his high paying career and expensive car equates high level alpha, even if his behavior is beta. Doesn't buy into any political causes or that, red pill in how he sees the world.

Maybe he likes his wife and strangely enough his job. Being happily married and employed does not make a man beta.

Post: #17

(06-04-2014 04:16 AM)weambulance Wrote:  WTF is with these guys, that they have hot girls with high sex drives and they just can't be bothered to screw? Is this a relatively normal thing? Has anyone else witnessed this sort of thing?

Err... I'll make it simple for you.
So people are born tall, some are born short. So people are born intelligent, some are born dumb.
Similarly, some people are born with a high sex drive, some are born with a low need for sex.
That's all there is to it, and it doesn't make sense to analyze it in terms of "being bothered to fuck" or not.