Post: #1

I recently posted here: /thread-36303.html

Got the girl in my apartment, now I'm going to tell you what happened and I want your insights. I'm a virgin and I never had a girlfriend. So I'm "very" beta.

1. I picked the girl from her village (not her home) and we went to my city. We did some photography on the beach.

2. We went to eat some food at a café. She kept mentioning that she wants to go to my place. I was a bit hesitant and very stressed.

3. We got to my place. She did a shower while I was in the living room. I didn't interrupt her or try to get in. She asked me to do a few things -take this, bring this- (and I obliged). I put condoms in the bathroom (I think it was a wrong move, trying to show myself as alpha while I was beta).

4. She's out. We started fighting over the remote control and then she started making out. I try to make out but something strange happened (which I want your advice on).
I was attracted to her, but I had no sexual attraction during the act. She's a good 8 and has good boobs. I was *really* doing it forced, I didn't feel that *hot* feeling I used to have while watching born. I touched her body but really felt nothing. I *really* didn't like sex. Even my dick couldn't get an erection. I really want insights here.

5. We made out for a long time (maybe 30-40min) and then I tried to get to her pussy but she wouldn't let me. We stopped and started speaking for a moment. She claimed that she was virgin but had lots of experiences. She tried to make me orgasm by rubbing my dick with her pussy but I wouldn't let her as I had no attraction and desire and it really hurts.

6. She started speaking a lot. She finally come to me and told me (face to face) that I'm the very first girl I interact with and that this is the first time I tried to have sex. I couldn't really face her. I felt defeated. She had the upper-hand in the relation all the way long.

7. I told her to get her stuff and get the fuck out. She was a little terrified as she has to get home by 7PM and I live very far (100Km) and there is no transportation. she insisted I drive her by saying lots of things (be a man, be on your word, this is not right...) but I told her to fuck off.

8. She returned a moment later because she forgot her jacket in my car. I kind of sympathized with her and thought it was really a dick move (and she could get hurt/stolen/abused as I'm living in a kind of empty place). So I took the keys and drove her to her town.

9. She asked me to take her home. I said "relation start here, end here" and then she started saying she didn't really want that I drive her, blablabla, I told her to fuck off and relation ended.

10. back to my place.

So here it is. My first interaction ever. I felt beta during all our dates. She picks the café, she picks the destination, she picks the music, she uses my stuff and decide this and that. She's the one that starts playing with me and do the touching/kissing. She really had the upper hand although I was the one paying for stuff and driving her.

I was really confused and hesitant. I really feel that I got a major ALPHA boost from this relation. The meltdown of the relation and how it ended made me really a different person although it happened in a few minutes.

Another question I have: This girl seems to be wanting an "ALPHA" dick to stimulate her. Why do you think she opted for me? a very beta guy?

Will stop writing here as it'll get very long but would like to discuss it even further.

Post: #2

Haven't you already posted this?

Post: #3

This guy took a good number of the wrong things in this forum out of context and saw some opportunities as problems when je shouldn't have.

Post: #4

I want to come in before the big wolf (Tuth) comes in to let you know that you're going about your situation the wrong way buddy! You already know the mistakes that you've done and still want our input, without showing signs that you've done any work on your own?

Work on your frame because that's where it starts and in your case it ain't right yet. Be a good rookie like the rest of us and know your basic Game theory before asking questions.

Post: #5

(05-22-2014 01:11 PM)conservative Wrote:  I recently posted here: /thread-36303.html

Got the girl in my apartment, now I'm going to tell you what happened and I want your insights. I'm a virgin and I never had a girlfriend. So I'm "very" beta.

1. I picked the girl from her village (not her home) and we went to my city. We did some photography on the beach.

2. We went to eat some food at a café. She kept mentioning that she wants to go to my place. I was a bit hesitant and very stressed.

The fact that you were stressed and nervous may well be the reason why you couldn't get hard.

Post: #6

You've probably watched so much porn, your brain has been rewired to not being able to have any erection or physical attraction with a real girl. Your dopamine levels (happy hormones) are all out of wack. Fortunately, you can save it though, Check this link out
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

Also why the fuck do you treat a girl like that? she wasn't even rude and all she wanted was to get laid, but since your beta ass didn't know what to do or feel, you treated her like shit. Listen, you probably think she is taking control and you felt out of wack and nervous, but she was doing you a favor because you weren't aware of what was happening and she "took charge", even though women don't really know how (they're not supposed to). Really reflect on this passive-agressive bahavior of yours.

Post: #7

Yes. In the future it may be better for you, just you, to relax and see where things go when a woman takes actions. They are allowed to make some moves of their own. They aren't robots and you have to allow them some guidance over themselves. Your problem seems more social than sexual. Everything you wrote makes it seem like she was going to have sex with you, but your thoughts messed that up. Anytime a woman asks you to come to the shower when there is only you and her there, she will most likely have sex with you.

She really liked you and that is more important than coming off as a 'alpha'. Think. You tell her you are a virgin, you yell at her and you talk badly to her and she still wanted to stay at your house. It was very obvious that she liked you. Just take a break next time your plan isn't going well. Find something fun to do for that time. When you think the time is right strike again

Post: #8

(05-22-2014 03:52 PM)simondice Wrote:  You've probably watched so much porn, your brain has been rewired to not being able to have any erection or physical attraction with a real girl. Your dopamine levels (happy hormones) are all out of wack. Fortunately, you can save it though, Check this link out
http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

Also why the fuck do you treat a girl like that? she wasn't even rude and all she wanted was to get laid, but since your beta ass didn't know what to do or feel, you treated her like shit. Listen, you probably think she is taking control and you felt out of wack and nervous, but she was doing you a favor because you weren't aware of what was happening and she "took charge", even though women don't really know how (they're not supposed to). Really reflect on this passive-agressive bahavior of yours.

Yes, my brain is probably fucked up with porn.

I agree on my agressive behavior. I think it has to do with child abuse in the past. I have already blown up another girl and a best friend with this behavior. I think I'll need to seek a specialized therapist for that.

Post: #9

(05-22-2014 04:46 PM)conservative Wrote:  Yes, my brain is probably fucked up with porn.

I agree on my agressive behavior. I think it has to do with child abuse in the past. I have already blown up another girl and a best friend with this behavior. I think I'll need to seek a specialized therapist for that.

Start meditating. A lot cheaper and it's really introspective. Sometimes theraphy is needed after we have done some of the work first hand ourselves, by really questioning ourselves.

Check out this /thread-27649.html
It'll tell you everything you need to get started.

Post: #10

1. Good start to a date. Sounds like fun.

2. She wants to go to your place good news......your getting laid!. You're a bit stressed, but that is totally understandable. Just keep saying to yourself "As long as i'm having fun it doesn't matter what happens"

3. She's inviting you into the shower. All is going fantastic..... the condoms is .....eh. kinda weird. she is already in the bag. That kind of thing can set someone off.

4. you got nervous. It's your first time. keep repeating in your head. "As long as i'm having fun it doesn't matter what happens". I know that's really hard but it will work. People are saying porn addiction, but to me, i think you are just really nervous. It happens experience numbs you to this.

5. Eh ya she got uncomfortable. a possible solution is just playing around that night then letting her sleep over. This will allow her to be really comfortable with you, and when you wake up next to her in the morning sex will be easier. you aren't as stressed, and you are always hard in the morning. I say this because I've pulled a girl into bed, but when it came down to it.. I got a no. Slept. Woke up, and then sex in the morning was no issue. This is for a girl not making a decicion because she is drunk, but making the decicion because she is nervouse/ you don't have enough comfort with her. (I am not saying this is a good method i'm saying I've just done this before).

6. You say she had the upper hand in the relationship the whole way. This is in your mind, but not really an issue when a girl wants to fuck you so much. Beta guys get laid.....My younger self is living proof. it doesn't happen very often, but sometimes you get lucky (like you did with this girl to some degree) and it is a very very easy lay. .....If you are beta and you get laid, it still counts as sex......

7. dick move not offering her a ride from the middle of nowhere. Sometimes I think of it from this perspective: If i wanted to see a buddy of mine 100k away, i would not drive to pick him up, BUT if he was stuck at my place, I would drive a buddy back to his house if he really was stuck. She was stuck. It was your fault . Drive her.

8. You drove her. fantastic. This whole interaction is a write off. Shit happens.

9. You ditched her in town......I'm a bit harsh here but. You picked up a girl. You freaked out. You caused the problem because you felt like not being able to sexually perform wasn't "alpha" and you lost face. This is your problem. Fix it. Drive her home. It's over. It's your fault. We all make mistakes. Tomorrow is a new day.

Being alpha is great, but Sex is sex if it's your first lay. If being beta got you laid for your first time, in my opinion, you should not consider it a total failure. Yes being alpha is important for a long and healthy lifestyle, mental health, and being a well rounded guy. You have to get out of your head.

If you learned anything, you did well. Don't repeat mistakes and that makes every night a success.
Don't bother with her after this. You will feel the need to call her and make it up, but what is done is done. Leave it in my opinion. There are many more fresh clean experiences that don't involve someone who you already had an answered relationship with.

Post: #11

I actually messaged her yesterday if she wants to talk about it and she said yes. I'll see if this goes anywhere or I'll just move on.

Post: #12

There's clearly some language difficulties, but

You live in a city, you pick up this girl from her VILLAGE, which is 100Km away.
By American standards, that's driving for an Hour.

Then you go to the beach and take photos.
You eat.

SHE WANTS TO GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE.
SHE SHOWERS

Then you start making out and getting to the good stuff.

AND YOU DON'T LIKE IT?

She tries to accomodate you. Your body isn't working the way you want it to.

BUT YOU FEEL ASHAMED.

And you get mad AT HER...

Then you kick her out and expect her to get home when she doesn't have a car?

I don't know why these dudes above me are coddling you,

YOU FUCKED UP
Your actions toward this girl were horrible.
You're really mad at yourself, but you took it out on her.

The girl in this case did everything that she was supposed to do, like a good girl should, but instead because of your own frustrations, you are mean and cruel to her.

That was wrong. Admit, own it, and learn from it.

What you did was neither Alpha nor Beta, that's just stupid and selfish. Probably unhealthy as well.

It's not just the porn that makes you desensitized to a woman's touch, it sounds like it has warped your brain in terms of what you expect to happen when you're with a real live woman. That's far more troublesome.

This is bigger than game, you need to
1) quit watching porn altogether
2) talk with someone neutral about the sexual abuse in your past.

WIA

Post: #13

How did she get home? And yeah take the no porn no fap challenge. I would say to get viagra as well, but I am guessing you are pretty young?

Also, look into jelqing.(google it), it is basically penis exercises. And yeah, the comments are all on point, you couldn't/wouldnt perform when she wanted you and you throw her out and ditch her 100km from her village. dafuq? A few things don't really add up here.

Post: #14

I'll look into the porn issues. and yes, I agree that it is a major fuck up. I'm not sure if she is really looking to talk about the issues I have. She said she wants to work on them. will see how this develop. (she is very young -18- but she has lots of friends/experienced). meanwhile I'm taking a break from game/girls/people to focus again on myself. will be probably travelling for a couple months abroad as I had a hectic year, work-wise.

Post: #15

ps. I need some medical advice if people has experience on this. She has some rash on her legs (nothing serious but it bleeds a little). Now I'm having three rashes (button) on my legs. Is this normal? Do you think I should consult a doctor for that or wait for a few more days?

Post: #16

I think trying to re-connect again with this chick was a desperate move because I had no girls lined up. Now, I have another date for tomorrow with another girl. She's 2 years older than me and lives nearby. We talked really little and then I suggested we do a coffee at 10AM Sunday.

I think I did well at framing this time. I asked her if she wakes up early and she said that she'll do it for me (she doesn't know me yet, so this should be a good sign?).

Now the question is: in my country, it's *very* rare that guys marry girls older than them. So she's probably not seeing me as a potential husband. Can this mean that she is just looking to get laid? she also said she's available for the whole day.

Post: #17

At first i thought ESL but now.........

Post: #18

Geez.. Another alpha vs beta thread gone south.