Post: #1

This thread is inspired by CJ’s “Why I rarely delete numbers”

I understand that there is something cathartic about telling a woman to fuck off after she flakes on you. You want to show her that your time is valuable, and that she can’t treat people like that. Maybe you believe you calling her out will save grief for the next man. I urge you not to follow this course [if you value getting in her pants more than getting that cathartic feeling].

I’ve consumed several terabytes of “pickup” information, and most of it is useless. But I remember coming across one piece of advice that has stuck with me: women don’t like uncomfortable situations. They prefer avoidance rather than the awkward feelings/emotions of confrontation. When you call her a spoiled child for flaking two hours before a date, you have almost certainly poisoned the well.

Instead, you want to treat any rude behavior (short of criminal behavior) nonchalantly. If you have tried to schedule a date three times with a girl and on the third try she cancels last minute? Well, she is trying to tell you that she doesn’t want to see you (women are fickle, they change their minds on a whim). Your text should be, “no problem. I’ve got to get up early for work anyway. I’ll see you around”

I write all this because there have been several times where I’ve initially met women with whom I’ve had great chemistry (sometimes even made out and or more during the initial contact). And then afterwards, they change their behavior and flake on any planned meet-ups. I had one girl who straight up stood me up. But my response was, “seems like we missed each other Tara. I’ll see you around.” Fast forward three months later, I run into her in a bar. I tease her about flaking, but tell her how she is looking great in that white dress. 90 minutes later she is in my apt and in my bed. Similar situations have happened to me three/four times in the past few years. And I believe I would not have had those results if I called out their inappropriate behavior before hand. With my nonchalant attitude, it is easier to pick up where you left off. If you call them out, they will leave after an obligatory hello/hey if you bump into them.

Bottom line: yes, it feels good to tell a woman you want to sleep with that she is acting like an immature child when she is. But unless you’ve already slept wit her, your outburst will almost guarantee you will never see her naked.* But if you play it cool, there is a chance that you’ll convert a flake/lost opportunity into a bang.

* Per a Roosh entry a while ago, anger before you’ve slept with a women is counter-productive. But after she’s slept with you, a show of anger can be an aphrodisiac.

Post: #2

That need for catharsis is a shit test from the game.

If you are having the feeling like you need retribution on the girl, she's not the problem.. your interpretation of what's going on is what's off.

Distant Light wrote about how he doesn't go on dates, so this kind of stuff doesn't come up.

That's solid game- you sure up every step before the next.

The game is really about you vs. you in a lot of ways.

Post: #3

(04-30-2014 11:09 AM)soup Wrote:  If you are having the feeling like you need retribution on the girl, she's not the problem.. your interpretation of what's going on is what's off.

^^^THIS

I used to get frustrated and want to tell girls off, then I started thinking, why are they flaking on me to begin with besides the normal hamster reasoning ? What can I improve ?

Now I just laugh, call another girl up, or start farming again for more numbers and leads. In the end you can't force a girl to go on a date with you - you can only sharpen your tools in the game shed and move on.

I guess a simple way of saying this is....Never burn any bridges, you never know if you'll be invited to cross it again.

Post: #4

I used to do this with every girl I was involved with. Things would go great, then there would be some incident and I would lose my shit and insult them. I've since learned that's a bad idea.

I think this goes hand in hand with what we were talking about in that other thread about being too much of an asshole. When you start to tone down your "asshole game" then you stop acting like an actual asshole in situations that don't warrant it.

Post: #5

But you inflict cruelty in other ways though? Right?

It's not all about the notch right?
Some of it is ego
Some of it is dominance

Right?

WIA

Post: #6

(04-30-2014 02:23 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  But you inflict cruelty in other ways though? Right?

It's not all about the notch right?
Some of it is ego
Some of it is dominance

Right?

WIA

The notch count thing is to just to do it for fuck of doing it. It's a game, so getting notches is fun.

Yes, ego and dominance.. to feel a sense of power. I think we need to feel that sometimes.

Post: #7

I used to enjoy this.

Now my level of giving a fuck has diminished to the point, that I'll get numbers and FORGET to even contact them.

I chalk it up to Law of Abundance Extreme Version + Being Focused On Myself To The Extreme.

Also, I've found exerting any negative energy at all is a conflict of what I'm working on achieving.

Now if a girl does some disrespectful shit in person, then I'm more likely to react in the moment.

Post: #8

Indifference is a vastly more powerful tool than hate.

Responding aggressively hurts your frame anyway. Even if reasonable and legitimate you're still coming across like a guy she can get to.

Post: #9

I tell myself that I can only express anger post-bang. Until then I am Zen

Post: #10

You can call girls out so long as it is playful.

Post: #11

I agree with you, Ardberg. I know some participants here disagree with the Mystery Method approach to game. However, one thing Mystery said in his first book which I have found to be true is to treat just about everything as if it were no big deal. A girl flakes? No big deal. If she shit tests you? No big deal. If her friend cockblocks you? No big deal. It really helps you be a master of your emotions and your environment.

Post: #12

(04-30-2014 11:09 AM)soup Wrote:  That need for catharsis is a shit test from the game.

If you are having the feeling like you need retribution on the girl, she's not the problem.. your interpretation of what's going on is what's off.

Could you elaborate on this? Perhaps on how he should be interpreting it?

Post: #13

(04-30-2014 11:09 AM)soup Wrote:  That need for catharsis is a shit test from the game.

If you are having the feeling like you need retribution on the girl, she's not the problem.. your interpretation of what's going on is what's off.

Distant Light wrote about how he doesn't go on dates, so this kind of stuff doesn't come up.

That's solid game- you sure up every step before the next.

The game is really about you vs. you in a lot of ways.

Yep...

I didn't read other thread BUT getting mad is really wasteful and is a reflection of YOU. Would a guy get mad if every time he goes out he meets 3 new awesome girls?

Just this saturday met 3 girls at a day party LEFT ALONE to go to a dinner, I told 2 of the 3 that I was doing that after. One of them text me as I'm about to leave so I tell her meet me downstairs will go...

End up realizing chick on phone is a girl I also know SO I opt to eat dinner there. Now I'm with 3 girls about to hit the club for midnight. While there, chick putting up a huge bitchy front to the "outside" world. I was drunk and wanted a chick to bugout with not chillout. Soooooo...

I left and went to meet one of the other 3 chicks I met.

Then I texted chick who was hot bitching it about brunch next day. She had just woke up when I texted and then stated she was going elsewhere with a friend later...I told her "ah ok".

Went out solo, end the night with a half bottle of champagne chugging it and buggin out to rap music as if it's the best thing in the world. (Not a fan of rap) Prior to all that...
- 1 chick opened me stating I was "hot"
- Met 2 chicks who somehow knew me
- Met 2 other chicks who ended up going to dinner with us
- Met another chick probing for me to pull her

Bottomline, I see it as a train still moving on, if you don't hop on it's going to keep going. WOMEN don't dictate the train time schedules, you have to catch me in the right moment and circumstances...Hence, why there is still a chick who's been openly wanting to fuck for a year now. Each time I go out, I'm guaranteed to meet someone new and at worst have a fun night acting crazy.

P.S...I no longer find "game" as this emotional thing because what am I really stressing about? Sex? To me that's like a little kid crying over his video games "it's not that serious". (This is also why I am very open about what I do sexually and me constantly joking about monogamy being a joke)

Post: #14

(04-30-2014 05:12 PM)soup Wrote:  You can call girls out so long as it is playful.

Yup. The real lesson is that it never pays to take things personally. It's totally fine to call girls out (sometimes they even like it) as long as you're not butt hurt about whatever they did. Now that I think about it it's just an extention of Art of War game. Appear strong when you are weak and weak when you are strong. When something bothers you let it slide, when something doesn't bother you faux indignation can work wonders.

Post: #15

"Never try to teach a pig(woman) to sing(think/face reality/apologize). It's very frustrating, and it greatly annoys the pig (woman.)"

Mark Twain with my paraphrases in parentheses.

Post: #16

You can't call out people with no honour, reason and accountability.

Post: #17

I do call out. Not aggressively but in very assertive way. I don't view it as reactive or being butthurt at all. To me it's just a part of setting/holding the frame. To me being too cool with whatever a girl says/does is than addressing it.

I have met girls who just had to be called out on their shit to drop their attitude and become normal/nice. Usually the hotter/spoiled they are the more effective the call out is.

[chicks cancels last minute]
"If you're too busy to meet it's ok but let me know next time. I don't play childish games with you. Grow up"

[chicks crosses the line with teasing]
"never talk to me like that again"

[chick pushing the boundaries with her manners]
"It's cute and all but you're walking on really thin ice here. Just so you know"

Sometimes one quick "serious" look is enough to get the message across. Delivery is always key key key.

Post: #18

Calling them out for flaking is counter-productive.

Would you call one girl out for flaking if you had 3+ other girls you could call?

I used to get mad as well but that was due to the lack of abundance mentality or lack of abundance really.

Post: #19

So basically this gentleman did it wrong?

/thread-34915-...#pid710167

Post: #20

(05-01-2014 01:15 PM)Kingsley Davis Wrote:  So basically this gentleman did it wrong?

/thread-34915-...#pid710167

That's a different situation. That girl was the ugliest one in her group and gave a bitchy response to try and emasculate Roosh in front of her friends. I do think he went a little too far by calling her ugly like that. Had he not done that he might have won over the bitchy girl's friends with his assertiveness.

Like XXL said there's a way to call them out in an assertive way.

Post: #21

I dont really call them out anymore... I used to.

If girls behave like cunts then they do it because they can... because the majority of men do NOT call them out on their behaviour.

So its gonna make absolutely no difference if I call them out, as long as other men wont.

Post: #22

OP,

I agree. Met a couple of girls sidewalk pimpin with a buddy of mine. Got them back to his pad and started partying, then extracted her to my place. Long story short she wouldn't bang. Not even in the morning. I let it go and brushed it off/was casual about it, even though I was thinking WTF and wanted to call her out.

Messaged a few times... then about 7 months later I hit her up with, "when are you making time for bad decisions...?" It sparked things back up, and maybe 3 months later she came out to visit and everything went smoothly. So that was nearly 1 year in the making, with minimal effort.

The thing is, is that you just never know when it could turn into a bang later.


I do think there are legit times to call out a girls rude behavior, but you still have to not lose your cool. Their negativity can creep in on you if you let it. Better yet, just give'em a smirk with an "ok..." Move along.

Post: #23

I go for the radio silence until I see them again.

It's of my understanding that this comes down to the investment you have towards that woman. How invested you are and consequently, how emotionally tied to her you allowing you to care.

McQueen hit the nail on the head, law of abundance & how much you value your time.

I prefer not to include negative emotions in my life with such things.

Reframe: It's her loss.

Post: #24

(05-01-2014 01:15 PM)Kingsley Davis Wrote:  So basically this gentleman did it wrong?

/thread-34915-...#pid710167

Like another poster mentioned, it's a different situation. He did not have any attraction with her and he had no desire to sleep with her. My commentary was more on when you meet a girl who you have obvious chemistry with, and maybe even physically escalate with, but who subsequently flakes on you or fails to show up on a date. In the latter situation, I am saying its counterproductive to call her out on her immature behavior.

Post: #25

(04-30-2014 11:09 AM)soup Wrote:  That need for catharsis is a shit test from the game.

If you are having the feeling like you need retribution on the girl, she's not the problem.. your interpretation of what's going on is what's off.

Distant Light wrote about how he doesn't go on dates, so this kind of stuff doesn't come up.

That's solid game- you sure up every step before the next.

The game is really about you vs. you in a lot of ways.

EPIC POST

Just epic

funny thing is I know DL IRL so this hits home...

I use to call chicks out a lot and lose my shit on some bitchboy shit

But now I just keep it moving, if a chick doesn't respond I may or may not delete contact it depends on the situation. If I do delete contact it's because I don't wanna tempt myself into contacting her int he future but not out of anger.

Recently I made a rookie mistake with a chick I deleted contact, never add a prospect on FB