Post: #26

Very often my long/short-term success is with girls I banged on date one or two (these can turn into a mini-relationship/plate). The rest either flaked, ghosted or refused to sleep with me until they could lock me into a relationship.

Even if you're a guy who has his shit together- most girls don't think much of the first date and view men as disposable.
Unless there's a very strong connection or the girl is really into you, most first dates boil down to fucking or never seeing her again.

Post: #27

(10-13-2018 10:17 PM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  Bumping this thread.

This is something I've been having LOTS of trouble recently. A lot of my dates aren't getting back to me after the first date. I will note that 100% of my dates, at least now, are online from Bumble/Tinder.

The main issue for me is getting past the small talk and not sexualizing and getting a deeper emotional connection later on into the date. I know I should be doing this, but when I'm on the actual date I often just forget to do so.

Any advice form any of the players out there on how to sexualize/add emotion to a conversation when she just keeps gearing the conversation towards basic shit?

Same thing has happened to me several times bro. I feel your pain heh. I might have to examine my track record from this past year + 4th quarter of last year and see what worked & what didn't. But it almost seems like the chicks that met up with me for 2nd, 3rd date & sexy time (or sexy time on the 1st date) kind of had a strong attraction to me almost right out of the gate. But I do think that game can help win over some of the other sleepers too. Since you're in NYC you should never run out of prospective dates so keep on pushing brother.

Post: #28

(10-13-2018 10:17 PM)Crash_Bandicoot Wrote:  Bumping this thread.

This is something I've been having LOTS of trouble recently. A lot of my dates aren't getting back to me after the first date. I will note that 100% of my dates, at least now, are online from Bumble/Tinder.

The main issue for me is getting past the small talk and not sexualizing and getting a deeper emotional connection later on into the date. I know I should be doing this, but when I'm on the actual date I often just forget to do so.

Any advice form any of the players out there on how to sexualize/add emotion to a conversation when she just keeps gearing the conversation towards basic shit?

Even if you have some game (ie. avoiding newbie pitfalls, exuding confidence, implementing kino/escalation) and are a solid conversationalist, 'good' dates usually aren't enough to guarantee repeat business. It's impossible to have top notch chemistry with every girl, and there are likely other mitigating factors when girls ghost that you'll just never know. Hell, even banging a girl these days isn't any kind of guarantee you'll ever see them again.

Combine that with the fact you're meeting up with primarily online prospects-- girls who are flooded with men reaching out.

Post: #29

Wow, thank you all for the overwhelmingly great responses. Definitely true that daygame > online. Truly love this forum.

I was doing a brief tally and I would say that around 30% of the women who I go on first dates with want to see me again (i.e. respond back to my texts and initially want to see me again). Out of that 30%, a few more flake over time haha.

Anyways, I'l add more detail from my previous post since I was a little vague and might also post about this in another thread to get more advice. Thinking about my date game over the past few days and I feel like the following are my biggest hurdles:

1) The women always seem to want to ask the basic questions (where did you grow up, what do you do for fun, what do you read for books, any pets, etc.) and I get caught up in just having a basic conversation the entire time. Anytime I do bring up a more intimate/riskier/interesting question, the girl doesn't seem to have any response. And then they gear the conversation back into basic shit again and ask shit like "what's my favorite color?" right after I attempt to make the conversation more interesting. To make matters worse, almost ALL of the girls I've been on dates with are the most basic women ever - there's literally nothing interesting about their lives except for "hanging out with their friends", "watching netflix", and "going out for brunch and margaritas". It's insanely hard to keep a conversation going when that's all I have to work with.....And then at the end of the date they tell me how there was "no connection"

2) Adding onto my point from above, when I do try to make the conversation more interesting, then sometimes they either get 1) weirded out or 2) just don't feel comfortable with answering it.

My solution to all of this: I need to lead and force the conversation to get more intimate/sexual and most importantly, absolutely stay away from basic topics and start asking more intimate questions that trigger and play around with her emotions. Even if she tries to stray away from those questions, continually lead her into them.

Examples:

What are you afraid of? (making her think of the last time she was afraid)
What is your most treasured memory? (triggering positive emotion)
What is your most terrible memory? (triggering negative emotion)
How close are you to your family? (triggering family emotions)
What's the most embarrassing thing you've done (triggering another emotion)
etc.

The only way to get a connection is through hitting her emotions, not through logical talk.

Thoughts? And additional advice?

Post: #30

Quote:My first/ second dates are usually low key, drinks at a restaurant/ couple of appetizers or going out to shoot pool/bowling.

Dates like this are way to fancy. Take her to McDonalds next time. Buy the cheapest hamburger or whatever they have. Allow her to buy her own hamburger. Enjoy your hamburger as if it is the most important thing in the world for you. Girls who do not appreciate the wonderous greatness of hamburgers are free to leave.

Do not try to impress, do the opposite. Escalate quickly.