Post: #1

I've always being curious about stalking.

Is it something that guys do more than women?

And what is the main reason behind it? Is it after a break up - that a guy cannot let go? Or is it more often some loser who develops an obsession and 'oneitis' from afar and starts stalking a chick who is not even aware of him?

Apparently 16% of women have been stalked. And 5% of men.

Yet - it is something I have never heard discussed. Or ever seen discussed on forums such as this.

So - since this is an area I have no knowledge about. I'm wondering if anyone has any experiences with this? Whether from having experienced it themselves or seen it happen to a friend?

I am sure it is a topic which might produce some interesting stories. And I am interested in hearing any to do with this strange area.

Post: #2

I don't understand stalking by men at all. I've been "stalked" by two women in my life. The first went on for years and also involved theft of mail, fraud, hiring (by the woman) of private investigators, identity theft (of a sort, before that term became common), and acts of violence. The second lasted a few weeks and was a direct response to me dumping a woman.

While both of these women were damaged, obviously, their behavior really strikes me as an extreme form of how women behave normally--that is, female stalking seems to be different from ordinary female solipsism in quantity, not in quality, if that makes sense.

This is why I have zero tolerance for entitled or narcissistic bullshit--I've seen first hand how, when left unchecked, an entitlement mentality can justify literally any evil. Reflecting on these (and other) events, and observing lesser manifestations of them in the everyday behavior of almost every woman I have ever known, and a shockingly large proportion of men, is what finally got me to choke down the red pill.

Post: #3

If a woman is stalking you does that mean she is obsessed with you and would do anything to be with you?

Does it mean they are crazy for you in the way an ordinary chick might be for Justin Bieber?

Is that the mentality they have - or is it something else?

Post: #4

Post: #5

To me it seemed like a form of possessiveness. In the first case, megalomania and a complete lack of empathy led a woman to view me, (and probably all people) as objects which could be owned. In the second case, it was an exaggerated version of what game-aware men already know and use to their advantage: that women become more attracted to men that they can't easily have.

Post: #6

Yeah - I am scared of being stalked.

There is a girl that fancies me at work - who was stalking a famous rock star in the UK (from what I heard).

She is a complete troll - and the idea of having somebdoy like that invade your life is my worse nightmare. Particularly since the law doesn't seem to have a good way of handling these situations.

I only mention this in passing. I didn't start the thread because I am worried about being stalked or anything!

Post: #7

Honestly this has my interest piqued would love to hear some opinions on this. I'm not knowledgable on this topic really. I've only been stalked once as a joke by some friends and a couple of chicks.

Post: #8

(02-23-2014 07:15 PM)cardguy Wrote:  I've always being curious about stalking.

Is it something that guys do more than women?

My friend's ex formed a habit of calling him 100s of times and even waiting outside his apartment so he called the police on her.

When they showed up he joked to the officer, "I bet you don't get many men calling in this kind of complaint!"

The officer's reply?

"Actually Sir, you'd be surprised but we get more complaints from men being stalked by women than the other way around. It's not like you see on TV."

Post: #9

If it is an ex-partner - it isn't as bad (in my opinion) than if it is a complete stranger who has picked you out and become obsessed.

Post: #10

Women stalk in packs. I've seen it, and had it done to me. There's no way in Hell a man could convince me to go with him to "check on" his girl. But broads will band together to do it. My friends and I refer to it as the Kotex Mafia.

Post: #11

So you're saying I had legitimate stalkers at one point and they weren't fooling around..................

Post: #12

I believe it is instinctual to a degree, on the part of guys. Don't know about women b/c I'm not one.

I remember this girlfriend I had a LONG time ago. I mean, like 1990. Pre-cell phone era, pre GPS. I didn't like her very much, certainly wasn't in love with her. And then one day I called over to her apt and got no answer. And for some reason this bothered me - I seem to recall her telling me she'd be home that night. And something primal kicked in on me. All of a sudden, I felt the possibility that some other man was taking what was MINE. I called over to her doorman. "Veronica hasn't been home tonight". So I drove over to her apt - maybe 30 min. Spoke to the doorman. Waited around a while. She never showed. Finally went home around 10pm.

Next day she called me "So I heard you were here last night". She was clearly creeped out by it. I made up some B.S. story about being in the shopping mall across the street, so I just stopped by. And she made up some equally silly story about where she was.

The thing of it is, I knew at the time I didn't care that much about her. I just didn't like the idea of someone else taking my snatch. Suppose you left a dollar bill on your desk at work, and somebody took it. Do you really care about $1? Would you miss it much? Not really; if you had lost the dollar bill you'd hardly notice it was gone. But the idea that someone may have taken what was yours is enraging.

Like I said, I think its a primal thing.

Post: #13

I'm curious as to what point it becomes stalking. Some chick I dated about five years ago still occasionally sends me the occasional flood of texts and late-night phone calls. And we were together less than a year!

Post: #14

I have no research to back up my claims, but I think men would be more prone to stalking girls that are hardly aware of their existence, due to a massive case of oneitis. Whereas a girl would be more likely to stalk an ex after she gets dumped.

Post: #15

Something I have noticed.

Women perceive being stalked by a stranger as the man trying to control the woman and intimidate her.

Whereas in many cases - it is probably a sad loner who has developed a severe case of oneitis with a girl he barely knows.

I mention this because women don't ever seem to see it in those terms. And instead see it as some kind of intimidation ploy which the guy gets kicks out of.

Of course not all cases are like this - but I think some are. And since loner weirdos are invisible to women - they can only comprehend the actions by imagining it is a relatively 'normal' guy (ie not-invisible) who is doing it.

Now here is a question. Imagine your dream woman moved next door to you? Doesn't matter who she is - a world famous model or actress, or just a hot girl that ticks ALL of your boxes. How soon before your behaviour could be perceived as stalking?

I guess the internet has made things worse. I mean - we all have girls we had intense crushes on in the past - but who you lose touch with. Well - what if you knew where that girl lived? And what if she lived nearby? I think for alot of guys the curiosity factor would tip them over the edge. I only ever had one major cases of oneitis - and she lives in France. But if I had similar feelings for a girl who lived nearby - I can see how it would become tempting to 'accidentally' be in the neighbourhood on a regular basis.

I am not on Facebook - but a similar thing seems to happen with people keeping tabs on ex-girlfriends and so on.

I remember my best friend once figured out his ex-girlfriend's email password (she pretty much told him it since she was clueless with computers). And about 4-5 years after breaking up with her - he seemed to be in the habit of occasionally reading through her emails. I never knew this for definite - but was pretty confident it was the case (due to a couple of pieces of evidence). For all I know he still does.

Pretty fucked up - but I guess it is hard for alot of people to kill off the curiosity that goes with spying on somebody's life. When it is somebody they once dated. And I think for some people the only thing that stops them from exhibiting stalker-type tendancies is the lack of opportunity more than the lack of desire.

The human heart is a dark dark place.

Post: #16

I think there are different reasons for why someone would stalk someone else.

Post: #17

Well if going by the assumption that vinman's point is true then I could shed some light on the female end of the spectrum. Back in my pseudo red pill days I expressed interest in a girl to some of my guy friends whom told her. I realized I could care less and that she was uglier than I thought I just blew her off and ignored her. Next thing I know her and some of her female friends that were also friends with me stalked me at random places. It was never near my house, but outside I frequently saw them together following me. When I asked one of them she said it was a joke. Guess it wasn't now that I really think about it. Think she stalked me for that reason.

Post: #18

(02-23-2014 11:47 PM)hwuzhere Wrote:  Well if going by the assumption that vinman's point is true then I could shed some light on the female end of the spectrum. Back in my pseudo red pill days I expressed interest in a girl to some of my guy friends whom told her. I realized I could care less and that she was uglier than I thought I just blew her off and ignored her. Next thing I know her and some of her female friends that were also friends with me stalked me at random places. It was never near my house, but outside I frequently saw them together following me. When I asked one of them she said it was a joke. Guess it wasn't now that I really think about it. Think she stalked me for that reason.

I found a crew of girls stalking me by accident. There was no parking in front of my apartment building so I drove around the block looking for a spot. That's when I spotted the car of a girl that i was seeing. She was a half block west of my apartment, and situated so she could see my bedroom. I lived on the third floor. As I drove past her car I saw two more females in her car, so I stopped, reversed, and stopped right next to them. They tried to act as if they were just in the neighborhood watching basketball in the park. That has happened twice that I know of. My mom told me years previous that women always stalk, and I've been stalked more than I know.

Post: #19

Women attract vastly more stalkers from men than the opposite for the sole reason that women also attract vastly more sexual attention from men than the opposite. While the basic drive (a psychopathic impulse to control someone, loneliness, obsession) is always the same, it is always layered on top of existing interest, which is driven by something else.

Think of stalking as seduction gone utterly wrong, where upon being rejected (at any stage) the person doesn't let go and continue their life as usual, but rather develops a megalomaniac tendency to control the other person's life., both as means of revenge and nursing their own emotional pain.

I have zero sympathy for stalkers, especially violent stalkers. It's one of the lowest things one can engage in.

Post: #20

I think we need to clarify that stalking is not always about someone who is obsessed over another person and follows them everywhere.

Very often there will be occasions where I see a girl I want to approach but in the moment I notice her, I can't do my approach to her in a way that would seem natural and relaxed.

Reasons could be:

1. She's going in the opposite direction too quickly.
2. There isn't enough space on the pavement/sidewalk to stand there long enough to have a conversation.
3. Surroundings are too busy or noisy
4. Someone else is already talking to her
5. She's on her phone
6. We are on public transport and I don't know when or where she will get off.
7. The distance between us is too far and I can't get closer at that moment


But rather than use that as a lame excuse not to approach, I will "stalk" her for 1 minute or 2 (essentially either waiting around, or walking behind her but at a distance that she won't notice me) until the conditions are a bit better to do my approach.

I will always walk past her at some point and then approach her from the front or side very slowly, acting like I just noticed her, then deliver my opener, and aim for getting a phone number or insta-date.

I think this is the only acceptable form of "stalking" that isn't beta, omega or unhealthy.

Post: #21

No real surprise to me the numbers are different. Women generally fall out of love hard.

The majority of Female Stalking simply happens before the relationship, and guys are largely unaware of it. What do you think she's doing when she asked for your Facebook? This is all the information women used to have to work to find in the pre-social media age when they'd decided you were going to be their partner, even if you didn't know of their existence, in which case grill all and sundry for information about you and you likes, and they'd suddenly start popping everywhere you'd go, wearing the T-Shirt of your favourite band, and coming into your workplace with their friends.

Perhaps they'd try to befriend a friend or a relative to get closer to you. Maybe they'd apply for a job where you worked. Maybe a mutual party would ask to borrow a record off you or you'd see them walking past your house at different times of the day, or (older now) they'd change their gym routine to match your schedule, or walk past your office more than necessary, or stop their cars to offer you a ride whenever you were walking to work.

These are all tactics I'd see girls try all through my teenage and twenty-something years to either get to me, my male relatives or mates I knew, basically doing anything they could to get the partner they believed they 'deserved'. Of course, it's completely fucking psycho but no-one ever called them on it. Making up fake boyfriends in an attempt to make someone who barely knows them jealous, or hanging around in the park across the road from an older male teacher's house, or leaving twelve pages love letters in a mailbox where they'd pretend to be a 'shy girl' from a school on the other side of town (who, for some reason would want you to cut your pubes into an envelope and mail them back to her), was just What Teenage Girls Did.

Why do you think teen music mags and celebrity rags were always full of descriptions of what the band members favourite likes etc? To feed the female stalking instinct of needing to accumulate as much intimate knowledge as possible about a man before making a play for him, so they 'coincidentally' have all the exact same likes and interests. Think of it as lying the way they do with makeup or Fat Girl Angle Shots, but by falsifying their entire personality.

Type any attractive male celebrity into google and I bet 'wife' and 'girlfriend' will be one of the suggested autocompletes.

Remember, when women call men 'creepy', it's just projection.

Post: #22

What sort of foul sorcery is this??? When I saw this thread, I thought for a moment that cardguy had somehow gotten unbanned!!

Post: #23

Remember that one time cardguy discovered screen doors, good times.

Post: #24

(02-23-2014 07:15 PM)cardguy Wrote:  I've always being curious about stalking.

Is it something that guys do more than women?

And what is the main reason behind it? Is it after a break up - that a guy cannot let go? Or is it more often some loser who develops an obsession and 'oneitis' from afar and starts stalking a chick who is not even aware of him?

Apparently 16% of women have been stalked. And 5% of men.

Yet - it is something I have never heard discussed. Or ever seen discussed on forums such as this.

So - since this is an area I have no knowledge about. I'm wondering if anyone has any experiences with this? Whether from having experienced it themselves or seen it happen to a friend?

I am sure it is a topic which might produce some interesting stories. And I am interested in hearing any to do with this strange area.

I'm gonna venture it usually occurs as a result of breakup or rejection in a relationship, possibly motivated by either revenge or a feeling of desperation. I'm pretty sure the cases of a complete stranger developing a delusional obsession (like the John Hinkley Jr. types of people) is pretty rare.

---

Off topic but I've 'stalked' a couple bitches before - but it had nothing to do with relationships, the bitches in question I ran into on an online message board, and they were crazy SJWs who'd search out the names of people and their family members and send harrassing calls and false police complaints if you got on their bad side.

So I beat them at their own game - tracked down their real life names, workplaces, names of their family members and sent screenshots of their online behavior out to everyone they knew and thoroughly humiliated them (one of them I think even got evicted from their apartment and fired from their job as a result) - so call it stalking if you want but for me this was about dealing karma - I'm not sure how this relates to what the OP was talking about, but it's the closest I can relate to it.

Post: #25

(01-25-2016 10:20 PM)2Wycked Wrote:  What sort of foul sorcery is this??? When I saw this thread, I thought for a moment that cardguy had somehow gotten unbanned!!

I have been nominated here and here as the semi-official forum Necromancer.