Post: #1

What does it mean when a girl says that something like having her hair pulled or being choked makes her feel safe? Just curious why it would provoke that particular feeling, especially something like choking which you'd think would inspire the opposite feeling.

Post: #2

I think she's saying she trusts you.

Had an old FB who told me that I made her feel out of control but safe, and that's when it really clicked. A big part of the submissive mindset is that they want someone to take over and run things for them. A submissive doesn't want to be in control. She wants to be owned, but for that to happen she has to trust you. It's just like a pet dog. If a dog trusts you, you're its master. If it doesn't trust you, it won't have anything to do with you. Trust is 98% of the D/S game.

This is really pronounced with the career types. You get some lawyer chick who's used to pushing people around, charging hard, getting her way, and inside she really wants to not be in that role. So it comes out in her sex life. Being feminists, they can't bring themselves to admit that's their mind telling them their life is out of order, so it turns into a fetish.

Post: #3

As heartiste has said..."What do girls want? A Master."

Post: #4

(02-15-2014 02:04 PM)Jestx Wrote:  As heartiste has said..."What do girls want? A Master."

I agree with this, but why do some girls fight it? For some girls, it's a shit test, but for others, it seems like there is something more going on.

Post: #5

(02-15-2014 02:24 PM)nek Wrote:  I agree with this, but why do some girls fight it? For some girls, it's a shit test, but for others, it seems like there is something more going on.

It's power play. I've had girls tell me that they enjoyed fighting (physically and emotionally) and that they wanted me to win. Chicks aren't dumb. A girl who willingly submits herself to any guy with a dominant personality who comes along isn't worth much. You have to earn it and then she'll give it to you.

Post: #6

(02-15-2014 02:36 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

(02-15-2014 02:24 PM)nek Wrote:  I agree with this, but why do some girls fight it? For some girls, it's a shit test, but for others, it seems like there is something more going on.

It's power play. I've had girls tell me that they enjoyed fighting (physically and emotionally) and that they wanted me to win. Chicks aren't dumb. A girl who willingly submits herself to any guy with a dominant personality who comes along isn't worth much. You have to earn it and then she'll give it to you.

This is what I was thinking, but I know a girl like this (describes herself as feisty) but her boyfriend is a massive supplicator. How the fuck does this work?

Post: #7

(02-15-2014 01:19 PM)RockHard Wrote:  I think she's saying she trusts you.

Had an old FB who told me that I made her feel out of control but safe, and that's when it really clicked. A big part of the submissive mindset is that they want someone to take over and run things for them. A submissive doesn't want to be in control. She wants to be owned, but for that to happen she has to trust you. It's just like a pet dog. If a dog trusts you, you're its master. If it doesn't trust you, it won't have anything to do with you. Trust is 98% of the D/S game.

This is really pronounced with the career types. You get some lawyer chick who's used to pushing people around, charging hard, getting her way, and inside she really wants to not be in that role. So it comes out in her sex life. Being feminists, they can't bring themselves to admit that's their mind telling them their life is out of order, so it turns into a fetish.

Great post man. Good breakdown.

Post: #8

(02-15-2014 03:14 PM)nek Wrote:  This is what I was thinking, but I know a girl like this (describes herself as feisty) but her boyfriend is a massive supplicator. How the fuck does this work?

You never know what goes on behind closed doors. Beta in the streets, alpha in the sheets. Or she could be going totally unsatisified in bed - /thread-32762.html. People will ride out relationships long after it's clear they're not going to get the sexual satisfaction they're looking for. It's a fallacy to look at a couple and assume it's working simply because they're still together.

Post: #9

If you have the ability to dominate them in bed and give them pleasure, they correlate this with the ability to dominate others in a social or antisocial setting while simultaneously protecting them.
This assumption is often correct. A man who is willing to dominate a woman is more likely to be alpha and there protect himself and his own; and she is his.

If your willing to "hurt" something you like or potentially love, think about what you would be willing to do to something you dislike or hate.

Post: #10

(02-15-2014 01:11 PM)Ryre Wrote:  What does it mean when a girl says that something like having her hair pulled or being choked makes her feel safe? Just curious why it would provoke that particular feeling, especially something like choking which you'd think would inspire the opposite feeling.

A great book that explains all this is "Arousal - The Secret Logic of Sexual Fantasies" by Michael Bader. Will write a summary when I find the time.

Post: #11

The master works the slave but also protects his property.

Post: #12

(02-15-2014 02:36 PM)Ensam Wrote:  

(02-15-2014 02:24 PM)nek Wrote:  I agree with this, but why do some girls fight it? For some girls, it's a shit test, but for others, it seems like there is something more going on.

It's power play. I've had girls tell me that they enjoyed fighting (physically and emotionally) and that they wanted me to win. Chicks aren't dumb. A girl who willingly submits herself to any guy with a dominant personality who comes along isn't worth much. You have to earn it and then she'll give it to you.

This. I've had girls tell me the same thing, and I usually notice an increase in their happiness after winning out a conflict.

Bottom line? It will always come down to human instinct.

Post: #13

A friend of mine told me that the trick to winning with women is to be like a roller coaster. You're doing a lot of crazy things but she's all strapped in. Safe with the thrill of danger. I see some truth in that.


I've noticed certain relationships off mine work the best for me if I am holding all of the dominant cards. Feisty chicks are ok, but the pay off in looks better match (8+) the attitude. I won't lie, but I'd rather date a girl who works in something a typical careerist avoids. Think nursing or massage therapy.