I would make my way to the nearest monastery, church or school, employ my knowledge of Latin and Greek to make a descent living tutoring. Then hit up the nearest whore house for ale and bangs, next get a damn rapier, pay for some lessons from a fighting master because my fencing is rusty as Hell. Alphas had to know sword play then. Wench my way through Scotland, marry an English redhead, because they love me, have 12 kids, and eventually die.

And die laughing at my fellows who assumed their business or engineering backgrounds mean shit in a pre Industrial society.

I'm not sure having pennies would help me out to much in the 1500s anyways.

Lets be real here, back in those days it would still have remnants of diseases like the plague and cholera around. Do you really think that your immune system can handle the amount of challenges back then? Look at a lot of guys that go to third world countries now and get sick, it was called the dark ages for a reason.

Not considered the dark ages.

I would be a beloved poet, scholar, and manufacturer of firearms. My poetry would consist of KRS One, and Eric B. and Rakim's greatest hits.

(01-25-2014 02:54 PM)pheonix500000 Wrote:  Lets be real here, back in those days it would still have remnants of diseases like the plague and cholera around. Do you really think that your immune system can handle the amount of challenges back then? Look at a lot of guys that go to third world countries now and get sick, it was called the dark ages for a reason.

I agree with this, that is why I stated we aren't as tough as our ancestors. Diseases were all over the place and I imagine the drinking water was probably not filtered to say the least.

@ Fisto - I wasn't thinking of Peru thats for sure, I was more thinking of the topless women in South Pacific (Polynesia) or the Carib tribe in the Caribbean.
I wonder how the Colombians and Brazilians looked back then? The Portuguese seem to have went crazy with the women in Brazil.

I'd have to leave England somehow, and learn Dutch, and then i'd get into the Tulips game, and get out early.

Richest "Moor" in all of Christendom. From there, i'd bank roll inventions. (keep in mind that hundreds of people come up with the same basic idea, only a handful succeed)

Then i'd be on some Django shit.

WIA

(01-25-2014 04:33 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  I'd have to leave England somehow, and learn Dutch, and then i'd get into the Tulips game, and get out early.

The tulip mania that swamped the Netherlands - and the bubble that burst - is fascinating history to me. I've read that some folks were selling canal-front real estate for the price of a single bulb.

Run.

(01-25-2014 04:33 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  I'd have to leave England somehow, and learn Dutch, and then i'd get into the Tulips game, and get out early.

That was a great idea. Decided to google it - sort of got bummed the peak of the bubble was 1637. Sorry. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulip_mania

I think the average life expectancy was barely 40 or 50 years old I bet. No way anyone would live long enough.

Unless your Ali who would bring some secret Marine hypersleep chamber. And just wait it out. http://alienanthology.wikia.com/wiki/Hypersleep_Chamber

(01-25-2014 06:08 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

(01-25-2014 04:33 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  I'd have to leave England somehow, and learn Dutch, and then i'd get into the Tulips game, and get out early.

That was a great idea. Decided to google it - sort of got bummed the peak of the bubble was 1637. Sorry. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulip_mania

I think the average life expectancy was barely 40 or 50 years old I bet. No way anyone would live long enough.

Unless your Ali who would bring some secret Marine hypersleep chamber. And just wait it out. http://alienanthology.wikia.com/wiki/Hypersleep_Chamber

He would bring that, and then realize he couldn't plug it into anything because he's a dumbass.

Man you guys lack imagination. This is how I'm rolling through the 1500's.






[attachment=16648]







Like a fucking boss.


And then take my spoils of war. Like a fucking boss.








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[attachment=16650]







[attachment=16651]





I'll sit in Greece soaking up the sun while Europe showers me with wine and whooty's. And teaching the Turks how to make me a damn dirty kebab. Let one bitch ass king not pay his dues and I'll roll through his kingdom on a Clydesdale and leave no man alive. I'll make Vlad the Impaler my tax collector.

Break down the armor and weaponry in that image.

(01-25-2014 07:49 PM)Fisto Wrote:  Break down the armor and weaponry in that image.

You don't have enough rep points to rate such an intricate breakdown. That's for senior level members.


edit- All these Renaissance nudes of whootys' used to annoy me. But I'm all for it now, and believe that was the common body type back then. This is probably why The Return of Kings has all big booty actresses on the episodes getting nekkid in the bath. It can't be coincidence. I'd be a very happy emperor as long as the faces weren't busted. I get these girls down to Greece where they can tan up a bit and jump in the ocean to clean off the stank. England was a fucking cesspool back then. Bathing wasn't common and everyone died in the winter. There is a method to my madness.

Just like I have to deduct at least half of your "notches" on account of them being hookers or pure imagination, we have to deduct 1/3rd of your rep points on account of them being awarded based soley on trollery.

(01-25-2014 08:35 PM)Fisto Wrote:  Just like I have to deduct at least half of your "notches" on account of them being hookers or pure imagination, we have to deduct 1/3rd of your rep points on account of them being awarded based soley on trollery.

lolzzzz

I wonder how many peoples responses would change after reading this:

6 ridiculous myths about the middle ages everyone believes

Heureusement je parle français, as would many of the nobles. Vive le roi!

This is a fun thread.

This thread made me think of this great movie about a lawyer/player in 15th century France just before the plague. Highly recommended. Some truly classic scenes and lines. Animal House-like timing.

(01-25-2014 10:04 AM)Teedub Wrote:  Fantastic thread.

You could become a sage or sorts, but actually be perceived as truly supernatural as you could accurately tell the future.

Given how small people were then turning up in the 1500's as a giant who can predict the future would likely get you burned at the stake for witchcraft, or some similar superstitious fate. No doubt the villagers would cackle in the midst of your toasted corpse nodding at the irony of a man who can predict the future, failing to predict his own ignominious demise.

My personal choice would be to go back and execute my ancestors to see how the time paradox would play out.

(01-25-2014 08:35 PM)Fisto Wrote:  Just like I have to deduct at least half of your "notches" on account of them being hookers or pure imagination, we have to deduct 1/3rd of your rep points on account of them being awarded based soley on trollery.

I would get 7/4th's the pussy in the 1500's and 3x more rep points from the commoners. You can be my sidekick though. You only need to memorize on line and wear a cloak.

I can quote The Princess Bride from front to back. "To the pain!"

(01-25-2014 09:54 PM)Fisto Wrote:  I can quote The Princess Bride from front to back. "To the pain!"

That movie is the perfect example of proper game. I'll try to do a writeup for your blog. Such a good movie to grow up to.

(01-25-2014 10:00 PM)Aliblahba Wrote:  

(01-25-2014 09:54 PM)Fisto Wrote:  I can quote The Princess Bride from front to back. "To the pain!"

That movie is the perfect example of proper game. I'll try to do a writeup for your blog. Such a good movie to grow up to.

"Stop rhyming! I mean it!"....

"Anybody want a peanut?"

Wald

How life should be:

“I love you,' Buttercup said. 'I know this must come as something of a surprise to you, since all I've ever done is scorn you and degrade you and taunt you, but I have loved you for several hours now, and every second, more. I thought an hour ago that I loved you more than any woman has ever loved a man, but a half hour after that I knew that what I felt before was nothing compared to what I felt then. But ten minutes after that, I understood that my previous love was a puddle compared to the high seas before a storm. Your eyes are like that, did you know? Well they are. How many minutes ago was I? Twenty? Had I brought my feelings up to then? It doesn't matter.' Buttercup still could not look at him. The sun was rising behind her now; she could feel the heat on her back, and it gave her courage. 'I love you so much more now than twenty minutes ago that there cannot be comparison. I love you so much more now then when you opened your hovel door, there cannot be comparison. There is no room in my body for anything but you. My arms love you, my ears adore you, my knees shake with blind affection. My mind begs you to ask it something so it can obey. Do you want me to follow you for the rest of your days? I will do that. Do you want me to crawl? I will crawl. I will be quiet for you or sing for you, or if you are hungry, let me bring you food, or if you have thirst and nothing will quench it but Arabian wine, I will go to Araby, even though it is across the world, and bring a bottle back for your lunch. Anything there is that I can do for you, I will do for you; anything there is that I cannot do, I will learn to do. I know I cannot compete with the Countess in skills or wisdom or appeal, and I saw the way she looked at you. And I saw the way you looked at her. But remember, please, that she is old and has other interests, while I am seventeen and for me there is only you. Dearest Westley--I've never called you that before, have I?--Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley, Westley,--darling Westley, adored Westley, sweet perfect Westley, whisper that I have a chance to win your love.' And with that, she dared the bravest thing she'd ever done; she looked right into his eyes.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride