Post: #1

The girls seem to have so many issues, and my text game is not so good, so I expect half of them to flake. However, this one case has got me pretty rubbed.

This one girl and I met a couple of times in Dec and we both felt chemistry was good. I was not interested in her as ONS, but as a potential LTR. Before going on holidays, we decide to meet early Jan. Now, she has flaked thrice, and all the times a few hours before the time, and only after I texted to confirm the time/venue. And this time, she not only flaked, but also told me that she had invited another girl - who I was separately trying to set up, to our meet up. I didn't even know they knew each other.

Have no idea what both these girls are thinking of. And if I have already been friendzoned? By one or both?

I've already told her no to combined meeting, but any suggestions/comments?

This one seemed one of the nicest girls around here, and when such girls play games, my faith in girls as 'trustworthy' goes out of the window. They're all conniving pieces of s* who think they can get away with anything.

Post: #2

So one girl flaked on you, and you now hate all women? Or atleast consider them conniving pieces of shit.

This is your bad man, why did you set up a date with a Girl who had already flaked on you? Not once, but twice? If she flakes then she sets up the next date, or invite her over to your place to make it up to you. Personally I'd either delete her number or add her to the weekend text blast for when you need a hookup.

Also what's this 'not interested in her as a one night stand, but as a ltr' chat? That's crazy talk, there's no way you should consider adding a girl to your harem before you've slept together, never mind an exclusive deal. You sound like you've pedestalised this Girl which is probably partially why she's not interested in you. When she text you saying she's bringing a friend that was your cue to leave and just not text her again.

From this point on radio silence this girl, change your ideas about how you value girls, and work on having enough pride to walk away from a girl who disrespects you. Next Girl!

Post: #3

Hey mate, she set up the two follow up dates herself. I just confirm the time to avoid last minute flakes.

As for 'potential' LTR before sleeping with - I know this girl from Business School/Social circle, and know she is a good catch. So no, didn't pedestalized at all, and as a matter of fact, I'm meeting couple new girls every week. And the moment she brought her another friend in to chat, I texted No. She's already been nexted, my original question is to make sure a) this kind of shit doesn't happen again, and b) I'm not friendzoned by her friend (also Business School/social circle.)

What surprised me was that this was one of the nicest girls I know of in SG, and hence the comment on 'conniving pieces of s***'

Post: #4

You don't know she's a good catch until you sleep with her. Her setting up a follow up date and then flaking again is a dick move on her part, though again at that point surely you'd just tell her to get. I'd be tempted to text her saying 'don't text me again' which always messes with a girl's hamster.

There's nothing you can do to prevent flakes 100% of the time, just nexting and moving on is what you do.

As for not pedestalising 'one of the nicest girls you know' that 'you know is a great catch' and is a ''potential ltr' without sleeping with' who's disrespect of you made you question if all girls are 'conniving pieces of shit' my mistake. You obviously don't value this girl any more than any other Girl, that's why she means so little to you, that's why her actions haven't affected you at all.

As for being friendzoned, that can't happen without you accepting it. There are girls who will sleep with you, and those that won't, but there are no girls who can force you to be their friend without benefits.

Post: #5

Thanks mate. Good points. I also liked your sense of sarcastic humor in third para.

Post: #6

No problem man, remember university is a great time to meet lots of new people and establish good habits that will last you a lifetime. I'd try to avoid looking for anything serious and just spend as much time approaching and getting laid as possible, I wish I'd found this forum when I was younger.

Post: #7

Haha. I wish man. The reason I'm agreeing to the 2nd date after a girl is flaking is because pipeline is not good which is because I have been out of University for ages, and coming back in to the dating market after 5 years. I wish I knew how to get a solid pipeline, and that I had known of Roosh forum ten years ago.

But better late than never.

Post: #8

A few things to remember:

- Chemistry is bullshit. It's a word women use to describe their capricious tastes. All you should care about is attraction.

- If she is attracted to you, she will act accordingly. That means that she will make an effort to see you and will be open to your advances. If she is not doing those things, there is not sufficient attraction.

- All girls play games. Get that good girl stuff out of your head. Play back, but play on your terms.

Post: #9

Thanks JR, and absolutely. I don't believe in that chemistry BS, though I use it in my jargon to decline girls I don't want to see again!

As for attraction, I am quite fit for a 36 yr old, but only about 4/10 on looks, and just 5'6" in height. Not attractive. However, I dress well, wear expensive watches, eat good and stay fit. It is only a question of displaying and projecting confidence and attractiveness, and improve my text game which has let me down repeatedly.

Still, 9 notches in last 8 months - not too bad, and mostly thanks to this forum!

Post: #10

Haha. This is getting funny. So this chick proposed another date, and I flatly refused saying that I am busy. Two hours later, she texts me 'sorry, first day on my monthly and I'm bedridden'. TMI, and I'm ignoring this bloody* drama!

*: literally and figuratively

Post: #11

Quote:I was not interested in her as ONS, but as a potential LTR.

You don't even know this girl and you've already qualified her as an LTR?

Post: #12

Is this the friend of that married chick? So she wanted the married chick to come on the date?

Post: #13

No, these are different girls.

Post: #14

You can double book girls. I do that with tinder women. Just space the dates out by one hour. if the first date shows up then you quickly have a text pre written out to reschedule the second girl so you can just hit the send button. That is my suggestion. That way she hasn't left yet and can't be too butt hurt.

Post: #15

What if the first girl sends you a text at the time she was supposed to be there saying that she is on her way? if you try to cancel her she might show up anyway, and if you dont cancel her she might flake anyway.

Post: #16

Keep swimming, eventually you will realize a few things.

1. None of these girls owe you shit.

2. You don't owe any of these girls shit.

If you start off by thinking this, it's easier to identify when someone goes above and beyond the dullness of normal interactions to be sweet to you, to be with you, etc. And when you like how a girl does that, you will start to give her a little more than you usually do. More attention, more affection, more effort, more energy, maybe a material thing or two. And you will watch how she responds to it.

Only when all of that has happened, and you are satisfied with the way she treats you and responds to the way you treat her, should you start thinking about anything beyond a fling.

At the end of it all, you LTR for a girl's personality. If you give up your freedom for some ass, you're selling yourself short.

That's why you shouldn't think about dating a girl so early. It robs you of the opportunity to find the girls who suit you and would make you happy.

Post: #17

(01-20-2014 12:28 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  You can double book girls. I do that with tinder women. Just space the dates out by one hour. if the first date shows up then you quickly have a text pre written out to reschedule the second girl so you can just hit the send button. That is my suggestion. That way she hasn't left yet and can't be too butt hurt.

Thespian- good point. I already do this on days when I have [the luxury of] two dates. I just excuse myself to go to the men's, and send that text. But my problem has mainly been pipeline and text. If I meet a girl, let's say during an event or social setting, more often than not I get a date out of it. But I rarely get the bang on first date, and between first and third date, my text game fucks me up. This has happened like 5 times in as many months. I'm going back to text thread and reading every single post now...

Post: #18

(01-19-2014 06:07 AM)bike0369 Wrote:  Hey mate, she set up the two follow up dates herself. I just confirm the time to avoid last minute flakes.

As for 'potential' LTR before sleeping with - I know this girl from Business School/Social circle, and know she is a good catch. So no, didn't pedestalized at all, and as a matter of fact, I'm meeting couple new girls every week. And the moment she brought her another friend in to chat, I texted No. She's already been nexted, my original question is to make sure a) this kind of shit doesn't happen again, and b) I'm not friendzoned by her friend (also Business School/social circle.)

What surprised me was that this was one of the nicest girls I know of in SG, and hence the comment on 'conniving pieces of s***'

1. 'Good catch' is women talk. You can't be elevated to your best by a girl. The real question is how much pleasure she brings to your life which at this point is none. The fact that she's in business school isn't a plus for a ltr. I've been around these sort of women, they are often hyper competitive and see femininity as a weakness.

2. The friend zone only exists if you let it. Be clear with your intentions and desire, if she doesn't reciprocate then bounce.

Post: #19

Did you leave a lasting image in her mind? Did you give her a reason to pursue you? You've got to stand out positively one way or another.

Post: #20

(01-20-2014 07:16 PM)draguer Wrote:  [quote='bike0369' pid='631908' dateline='1390129652']
1. 'Good catch' is women talk. You can't be elevated to your best by a girl. The real question is how much pleasure she brings to your life which at this point is none. The fact that she's in business school isn't a plus for a ltr. I've been around these sort of women, they are often hyper competitive and see femininity as a weakness.

2. The friend zone only exists if you let it. Be clear with your intentions and desire, if she doesn't reciprocate then bounce.

Agree with both your points largely. I would disagree with your point of (all?) Business School women seeing feminity as weakness though - majority yes, some no.

(01-20-2014 07:17 PM)CaliforniaSupreme Wrote:  Did you leave a lasting image in her mind? Did you give her a reason to pursue you? You've got to stand out positively one way or another.

Yes, I think I did. That's why she kept on emailing me during Xmas break. But I think I let her flake without creating the push once too many. And that's where the attraction finished - I became easily available.

She wrote to me a couple days ago that she was on her monthly and bedridden. I replied after a day's wait- thanks for medical report, but I'm busy this week. She replied back - no problem. I think she's a bit pissed off as she never replied like that earlier; guess she knows she's been nexted.