Post: #51

(01-16-2014 06:01 PM)Peregrine Wrote:  I knew y'all were liars. I am, in actuality, a peregrine falcon. And I've got mad game. Proof:

I can vouch for Peregrine. I met him last March and he really is a falcon, although I not qualified to specify the distinct species variety.


Here is a list of things that I've lied about on this forum:

1) I've never actually gotten laid, not even a hand job, despite my active posting on the "Just Got Laid Thread."

2) Although I have claimed to be fairly attractive, I actually have a massive, ugly scar running from my left ear to the right side of my chin.

3) Haven't been to China, Japan or Vietnam. My posts and threads where I discuss these places depict facts and situations that are entirely creations of my imagination.

4) Due to a circumcise accident (knife slipped), I'm missing 1/3 or my penis. I can only masturbate using a specially modified fleshlight. Since I've never been laid (see #1), I jack off quite a bit, even though I've claimed repeatedly on the NO FAP thread that I haven't touched myself in over three years. This is a lie.

I think that about covers it, although I'll update later if I remember any of the lies I've told.

Turns out coon was right. I'm a total fraud. I don't know how he knew, but he is unbelievably insightful and I think we should make him a forum moderator, so that he can get to work banning people like me, who are obviously liars.

His sacrifice here today gave me the courage to finally admit to my failings and weaknesses.

Post: #52

All of the my rep points have come from sock puppet accounts.

Post: #53

You got me, really I own Jeezebel and this is my secret account.