Post: #1

I was in Bratislava recently and was talking/hitting on a twenty year old (8) Slovakian girl. We talked about a lot of things including politics (she was very anti-eu anti-communist) and American high school. She was a foreign exchange student when she was 16 and so we were talking about her experience.

She told me she couldn't believe how American high-schools are so cliquey. She didn't use that term, but thats what she was getting at. she mentioned how although she felt she was treated nicely she was appalled at how mean others were to each other and that in Slovakian high school everyone talks to everyone and people are generally much friendlier. I've noticed this same thing among other europeans I've made friends with. I've noticed Europeans can be snobbish, dickish, and rude, if they don't know you, but amongst familiar faces its very rare for them to I guess "bully" each other.

Didn't get the lay....Claimed she had a boyfriend, but still went for some touching and kissing (barely).

So, is America mean? Is our social cohesion and respect for one other decreasing? I think it depends on where you are. She lived in New York State by the way.

Post: #2

Like a million other things, it depends where you live and how you were raised.

Post: #3

In my experience, Americans are like peaches and Europeans are like coconuts.

Coconuts have a hard exterior, but a soft interior.

Peaches have a soft exterior, but a hard interior.

With a European, they see no reason to be nice to you if you're just a stranger on the street or if they don't even know you. Trying to make friends with service staff can frustrate them as they try to take the orders of their customers. Whereas in the US, the service members seem to be very friendly.

However, once you're friends with a European, you're in. You're good friends and should have no reason to be otherwise. Go out a few nights with a European or deal with them over a long period of time and you can be good friends.

With an American, I think you have to know the person for quite some time to get the same kind of friendship. Also - just because an American is being nice to you, doesn't always mean they like you or want to be your friend. Sometimes they just want something from you or don't want things to be awkward.

I think our cultural style of humor, sarcasm, is a large part of this. Most Europeans don't use sarcasm and have a hard time understanding it unless you make it bleedingly obvious. Not a character flaw mind you - it just has little place in their world.

In short - it is not that Americans are mean and Europeans aren't. It depends on your perception. A European my seem rude to you as an American he bumps into you on the street and doesn't even say sorry. An American made seem mean to you as a European if think of yourself as good buddies after a couple nights drinking and find out he's talking about you behind your back.

Wald

Post: #4

Definitely run into more belligerent, ill mannered pricks in the US than elsewhere, with the exception of the UK. I'd blame it on a decline in social cohesion (resulting in a look at me and fuck you mentality) combined with a glorification of the lower class. It also seems more socially acceptable in the US for people to get in your face with greasy, car salesman style fake friendliness. There are big regional differences. In the South and Midwest the worst behavior seems to be limited to the lower class while on the coasts it is more universal.

Post: #5

You're going to find shitty people wherever you are. America's social norms put you in contact with shitty people more often than other places, that's all.

Post: #6

I think people are stressed because of the work obsession and 3 day vacation per year. Lack of hugs also.

Post: #7

I think that there is a sort of Disconnect here in the US, especially with the younger generations. It can't be any one thing, but perhaps some of the most readily available means of relaying information, such as how Reality TV promoting that having a mean/bitchy attitude is somehow cool and acceptable in today's society, exacerbates the problem.

I believe that any person, or society as a whole, who veers away from the philosophy of rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior, starts to see it's morality decaying.

Post: #8

Not sure about mean, but there is a severe strain of suppressed anger in the states, especially in the suburbs (I spent several yrs living in CT). I think there are several factors to this: constant driving which disconnects people from others, no real cultural or communal life outside of shopping malls and restaurants, and the obsession with work and the "work ethic" that nobody really believes in anyway. In a way, many Americans are forced to live meaningless lives and some are starting to catch on to the BS. I'm guessing the lashing out that you see in the states at supermarket waiting lines, DMV's, and other public places is a direct outgrowth of this meaninglessness.

Post: #9

(01-04-2014 10:07 PM)Scott Free Wrote:  the philosophy of rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior,

I like the philosophy of not meddling in the business of others at all. It leads to so much unnatural behaviour that people start doubting their own sanity and that of the world around them. Wise, gentle guidance, and actual worldly experience is a much better way to learn how to behave in society than being spoonfed from SWPL approved magazines, TV shows, and Facebook

In the past the world probably had a different agenda and more interest in actually teaching their children what they thought was right from wrong. Now they're just telling them how each child is right and everyone else is wrong. It paves the path for a generation of highly strung, tense children in adults boots, who were never taught the skills they need to function as a part of a normal society. Alienation turns any beast wild, and a quick look at the typical family of 4 (iPhone, TV, laptop, with their loving owner) would surely make you wonder how it is that the world functions at all at this point.

A while back, Australian aboriginals went through something called "the stolen generation," supposedly for the protection of the children involved. What happened is that police were given power to remove half-caste and aboriginal children who were "at risk," and relocate them to institutions or place them under foster care for "their own protection." Fast forward 50-100 years, and we now have some 25% of the prison population occupied by aboriginals, where their portion of the total population is about 2.3%, and an entire community of people who are bitter, rebelious, and lazy, often being supplied and cared for by welfare money. I'm sure most of you know of a situation you can relate this to (think welfare mothers and crime running rampant)

What does this have to do with anything?

Youths today are almost from birth separated from their parents by technology, the double income household, TV, etc, then raised in institutions where they're grudgingly taught everything they never believed, enticed by promises of things they don't understand, and gently patted on the head for pretending they were listening.

Sound a little familiar? It should. This is the western world

When you look at the young generations and see nothing but bitterness, disillusionment, disconnectedness and discontent, it's clear we're in the midst of experiencing a new type of "stolen generation" - a generation kept prisoners without even having to physically relocate them. It's no wonder that many western societies have worse social skills than a convent of convicts.

Alienate the beasts so they go wild, then trap them so they can never escape. You now have what I call western society - a collection of wild beasts that trust no one, love nothing, and consider anything that comes near them as prey to be torn apart then left for the vultures

And remember, it only goes downhill from here

Post: #10

So if an American worked in another first world country, with their awesome work ethic, shouldn't they get promoted quickly/stack up dough?

Post: #11

(01-05-2014 01:11 AM)Architekt Wrote:  

(01-04-2014 10:07 PM)Scott Free Wrote:  the philosophy of rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior,

I like the philosophy of not meddling in the business of others at all. It leads to so much unnatural behaviour that people start doubting their own sanity and that of the world around them. Wise, gentle guidance, and actual worldly experience is a much better way to learn how to behave in society than being spoonfed from SWPL approved magazines, TV shows, and Facebook

Certainly, I don't disagree with that at all. In fact much of what you mention makes sense to me. In the philosophy I stated above, though, I do not mean meddling. I mean it in the most simple way.

Whether it's a child (or a chick) throwing a tantrum or some lazy employee not carrying her weight (*rimshot for double entendre*) we can choose to react by "Rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior." For example, withholding the child's expected desert after dinner (disengage from showing the chick a good time) or cutting the lazy employee's hours, perhaps even terminating her employment.

We'd think that this would be more common. The problem is, we see all too often how today's society tends to veer away from this more and more. Parents no longer lay a hand on their snotty children because the child might grow up and write a freakin' book about how their life was rough because mommy and daddy beat them, as they've seen happen to authors who successfully got Oprah publicity on TV. And speaking of TV, reality shows that feature mean people getting into fights and causing trouble are rewarded with high ratings and thus glorified. I believe I see this kind of 'Disconnect' more over here in the West than most other countries I've visited. Is this what makes America 'mean?' Quite possibly so. At the very least, I'd like to say it's a factor.

In the end, we're all living organisms and are prone to classical conditioning.

My humble opinion.

Post: #12

Americans seem more cliquey than most Europeans. Part of the reason is that hypergamy runs strong here in the states. Status matters more here.

Post: #13

Not that you won't find cliques and groups in Europe because they obviously exist but in general I do feel like it's a friendlier place than the US.

I'd like to ask to the American guys if what we see in those American teen high school movies, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the popular kids and the nerds and all the struggle and cruelty that goes on between all the different groups and sub cultures is real at all because it's something I've never experienced in Europe.

Post: #14

(01-05-2014 06:11 AM)Teutatis Wrote:  I'd like to ask to the American guys if what we see in those American teen high school movies, the jocks, the cheerleaders, the popular kids and the nerds and all the struggle and cruelty that goes on between all the different groups and sub cultures is real at all because it's something I've never experienced in Europe.

I can only talk about my experience but it was nothing like that at all. There were certain nerd groups, but they weren't like your stereotypical nerds and the jocks weren't bullying them. Maybe its because my school was really diverse (50% white) so it wasn't like that. I think it was more like that in the 70's and 80's hence all those movies with stereotypes but nowadays the distinction between nerd and jock is blurred.

Post: #15

I think that there is an indirect relationship between having easy access to quality pussy and meaness.

Post: #16

Post: #17

(01-05-2014 12:11 PM)soup Wrote:  I think that there is an indirect relationship between having easy access to quality pussy and meaness.

I have noticed the same thing. In night clubs, guys in Brazil, Colombia and South East Asia are more friendly and polite than in the US, in general. Outside of the club/bar scene also, except for thugs who are much more dangerous/ruthless in South America than in the US.