Post: #1

I've had two friends continue with plans to get married, when I and others were very concerned and disapproved of the engagement.

The first was right after high school. A high school buddy stayed for a grade 13 year to spend more time with his girlfriend and they married shortly after graduation. Everyone told them that the timing was bad, and the fact was that she was a demanding, spoiled bitch who lacked social graces and skills.

Everyone told them to wait, that they were too young and they weren't financially set up for marriage. I don't know if anyone said it to him, but people were concerned that she was going to ruin his life.

Eight years later, they have three kids. He's dropped out of college cause he couldn't afford it and is now working temporary minimum wage jobs, barely surviving. She's gone from acceptable thin to about 250 LB -- obese and she refused to get a job, because she didn't enjoy her last one, seven years ago.

Their house is trashed. They have three kids living in a garbage dump. A mutual friend of ours was concerned and went over to help them clean and was finding three month old diapers shoved under furniture.

Another college friend lost his virginity to a girl who was "thick" around junior year. She was a real bitch to him. He couldn't really hang out with friends because he could expect that she would summon him on a moments notice and would really lose it if he wasn't immediately available to meet her needs.

Naturally, all of his friends frowned on his engagement to her. We were very concerned.

They got married shortly after his graduation and now, a few years later, she has gone from thick to obese. There house is fairly well kept, and they have a kid and her manners have improved. But they're open about the fact that they have very seriously discussed divorce. They are trying to make it work and might very well make their marriage last.

However, my friend is now saddled with an unattractive woman, rarely gets sex and I just know that if he'd spent a year or two after college establishing himself and growing some bigger balls, he would'da done a lot better for himself.



My question is this: have you ever advised someone that they were marrying the wrong person (or at the wrong time) and been wrong?

Or have your predictions been completely accurate every time?

Post: #2

I have a similar story but it does not involve marriage.

One of my best friends about a year ago had a new housemate move In to the shared house he was staying at.

He's a good looking guy and naturally gets a lot of attention from women, so upon hearing the new housemate was infact a female I had a sneaky suspicion he would be smashing it (he has no standards) within a few weeks of her moving in.

Two days after her moving in I get a call from him saying he was beating it from day one. She would just come and knock on his door, fuck, eat and go back to her room.

A few days later I am round his and she knocks on the door. Behold the behemoth that I lay my eyes upon. This girl is about a 3 at best. White, average height, fat and to top it all off has one seriously wonky eye. So much so I didn't realise she was talking to me because her eye was facing the other direction.

I spoke to him after she left and told him he is playing with fire. She is playing the field a few hundred miles above her level and will resort to desperate measures to keep a hold of him. My advice went in one ear and out the other.

A year later they are living together. She got pregant and kept it, now hes working 7 days a week to keep afloat. She has got even more repulsive and his mental state has got to the point where I hardly even see him.

Post: #3

I'm in my mid 20s and practically everyone I knew from school went to college so only now are people I know starting to get married. I wouldn't consider any of them truly friends. These guys all just finished advanced degrees and are getting started in solid careers that will probably make them good money. And they're already getting married. These guys aren't thirsty lameasses either. I'd easily say that each of them is marrying a plain chick with a boring personality that's below their league. I saw them bang way hotter chicks back in the day and now I'm just shaking my head. It figures though, they always had this kind of flatness to their personality and really conventional ways of thinking so we were never close. Still, it's a shame to me. Good luck to them I guess.

On the other hand a good friend of mine has been in a pretty decent LTR for a long time now. Always a solid dude and straight up told his girl that he didn't want kids and they were never getting married from the beginning. I was the exact same way. But I see him backsliding into betahood just like I did and it's torture to watch. He burned most of his bridges except me and another friend of ours but neither of us live in the same town now so now she's all he has. After going back to school he lost his frame completely because she's making all the money now. It's retarded and in his head because she always made a lot more than him and still happily blew him and made his sandwiches, but he feels like her bitch now.

The toll it's taking on him is obvious. Losing interest in his passions, acting meek and mild-mannered, bitching about everyday things that never used to get to him. Naturally his girl's been transforming from sweet and feminine to bitchy and irritable and it only keeps worsening now that he doesn't feel like he can stand up to her. It's like the hundreds of stories you read on manosphere blogs about guys with some natural game ending up in LTRs: he was on the ball until he let himself get complacent in the relationship and lost his self to it. It's fucking rough because something extremely similar went down for me and he was the guy that was there for me the most when it all blew up over a year ago.

This has been going on for about a year or slightly longer. I give them 1-2 more years barring some sort of drastic turnaround. In the meantime I drop whatever bits of insight and encouragement I can but I don't think there's a whole lot I can do. I figure he wouldn't be receptive if I were more direct about it. He naturally takes all my "run a bitch" advice in light of my confirmed history with inked up psycho bitches while his is a "nice girl" so my credibility is limited. I think some things just need to run their course and some lessons need to be learned by experience. I hope at least I'm able to help him out like he did for me.

Post: #4

Maybe I'm evil - but I get a delicious taste of schadenfraude when I hear stories like this.

Actually - scrap that. I am evil. Definitely.

Post: #5

(12-21-2013 03:27 PM)cardguy Wrote:  Maybe I'm evil - but I get a delicious taste of schadenfraude when I hear stories like this.

Actually - scrap that. I am evil. Definitely.

Well I wouldn't call it schadenfreude but I do feel a lot better about myself and my choices in life when I see the what the "correct" alternative actually looks like.

The shit with my friend is rough, both cause I care about him and cause it reminds me of my not-so-distant past. But it would be a hundred times worse if on top of everything else she was pregnant or they got engaged. It'd be like mourning a death with no funeral to go to. I'd have to pour a 40 on the curb.

Post: #6

(12-21-2013 03:27 PM)cardguy Wrote:  Maybe I'm evil - but I get a delicious taste of schadenfraude when I hear stories like this.

Actually - scrap that. I am evil. Definitely.

I can tell you're being sarcastic but your post reminded me of one of Roosh's posts...

Quote:Are you a hater or a facilitator?

A hater feels better when others fail.
A facilitator feels sympathy when others fail.

A hater is closed off to new information that doesn’t fit his world view.
A facilitator is ready to change his world view in light of opposing evidence.

A hater posts blog comments that take away value.
A facilitator posts blog comments that add value

Post: #7

(12-21-2013 01:12 PM)Jeimuzu Wrote:  I have a similar story but it does not involve marriage.

One of my best friends about a year ago had a new housemate move In to the shared house he was staying at.

He's a good looking guy and naturally gets a lot of attention from women, so upon hearing the new housemate was infact a female I had a sneaky suspicion he would be smashing it (he has no standards) within a few weeks of her moving in.

Two days after her moving in I get a call from him saying he was beating it from day one. She would just come and knock on his door, fuck, eat and go back to her room.

A few days later I am round his and she knocks on the door. Behold the behemoth that I lay my eyes upon. This girl is about a 3 at best. White, average height, fat and to top it all off has one seriously wonky eye. So much so I didn't realise she was talking to me because her eye was facing the other direction.

I spoke to him after she left and told him he is playing with fire. She is playing the field a few hundred miles above her level and will resort to desperate measures to keep a hold of him. My advice went in one ear and out the other.

A year later they are living together. She got pregant and kept it, now hes working 7 days a week to keep afloat. She has got even more repulsive and his mental state has got to the point where I hardly even see him.

That's just horrific. Best argument for male birth control I've seen all day.

Post: #8

I've got 3 close friends who have been married. Many more acquaintances.

2 out of those 3 are divorced. The one that isn't divorced, has the worst life of all; he's still with his fat nagging wife.

I didn't try talking any of them out of it, but if I had, I'd have been right.

Post: #9

Is it possible to talk a guy out of getting married?

Has it actually happened anywhere in the history of the world?

I just don't think it is possible.

Post: #10

My best friend (known him since kindergarten) has been doing long distance with a girl for a little over a year. They only spent time with each other when he got leave like two or three times since he's been in the army. He rawdogs her for the first time during one of these leave stints. They're now getting married in two weeks and I'm the best man.

My friend probably thinks she's the purest, most sweetest girl and the love of his life. But what he doesn't know is that my other friend used to tear her shit up everyday after high school while listening to Kings of Leon.

Might not be a huge deal, but knowing him, if I were to tell him I think it could seriously hurt their relationship/engagement. Pretty funny that I know more about him and his fiance than they probably know about each other.

Also got really pissed at me when I asked if he was sure about his decision and brought up the fact that they'd only done long distance for a little over a year and are now engaged. Oh well, I tried...

Post: #11

I've warned many friends against it and to no avail. Even warned my older brother. He's now on his second marriage and miserable as fuck with 3 kids to show for it, child support and constant Level 10 Stress.

I'm not against marriage, BUT I'm against buddies of mine marrying chubsters who are miserable to be around.

If a friend of mine finds a hot, fun, good woman, then more power to him.

But alas, here in the USA, most of the guys don't marry up, they marry down.

Post: #12

Sometimes you can see from the beginning that things are really going to be in trouble down the road for the couple and are rarely proven wrong.

Other times I've seen things go fine and well right from the beginning.

Post: #13

All women hit the wall. So marrying based on looks is pointless. Sure you get some good sex in the beginning but know that she'll get uglier and the pussy will dry up over time. Marry her because she's a good person and adds value to your life. You're doing HER a favor.

Post: #14

(12-21-2013 06:58 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  All women hit the wall. So marrying based on looks is pointless. Sure you get some good sex in the beginning but know that she'll get uglier and the pussy will dry up over time. Marry her because she's a good person and adds value to your life. You're doing HER a favor.

I agree with you.

It is also important to keep in mind that fatness, laziness in dress, is a much a sign of poor character as bitchiness and pettiness is.

The younger the girl you marry the easier it is to marry a woman with good looks and good character.

Wald

Post: #15

(12-21-2013 06:58 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  You're doing HER a favor.

If you feel like you're doing her a favor you could be marrying below you. Marry above you. Then she's doing you a favor, as it should be.

Post: #16

Well, in my case, I was the one who everyone else advised not to get married. But I did. My friends and family ended up being wrong, though. We did get divorced, but not for the reasons they had predicted. When I met my ex-wife, she was new to the country (Russian), 23, and absolutely stunning (being a natural beta, I fawned over her). My friends advised me to stay away because her visa had expired and they thought she would use me to obtain documents. We ended up staying together for 5 years. In the end, I think she got tired of my betaness, indecisiveness, and sad financial situation. But looking back, I have no regrets. Her looks did not depreciate over those 5 years and she was tender and feminine the entire time.

Post: #17

No good stories? I think if I were getting married and a friend told me not to...and then I continued to get married, that friend and I would no longer be in touch so he wouldn't know if my marriage was going well or not.

Post: #18

(12-21-2013 07:19 PM)Sawyer Wrote:  

(12-21-2013 06:58 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  You're doing HER a favor.

If you feel like you're doing her a favor you could be marrying below you. Marry above you. Then she's doing you a favor, as it should be.

Agreed. The problem is that women keep lowering the bar and raising their standards. It's currently a seller's market.

Post: #19

(12-21-2013 05:43 PM)Capitán Peligroso Wrote:  

(12-21-2013 01:12 PM)Jeimuzu Wrote:  I have a similar story but it does not involve marriage.

One of my best friends about a year ago had a new housemate move In to the shared house he was staying at.

He's a good looking guy and naturally gets a lot of attention from women, so upon hearing the new housemate was infact a female I had a sneaky suspicion he would be smashing it (he has no standards) within a few weeks of her moving in.

Two days after her moving in I get a call from him saying he was beating it from day one. She would just come and knock on his door, fuck, eat and go back to her room.

A few days later I am round his and she knocks on the door. Behold the behemoth that I lay my eyes upon. This girl is about a 3 at best. White, average height, fat and to top it all off has one seriously wonky eye. So much so I didn't realise she was talking to me because her eye was facing the other direction.

I spoke to him after she left and told him he is playing with fire. She is playing the field a few hundred miles above her level and will resort to desperate measures to keep a hold of him. My advice went in one ear and out the other.

A year later they are living together. She got pregant and kept it, now hes working 7 days a week to keep afloat. She has got even more repulsive and his mental state has got to the point where I hardly even see him.

That's just horrific. Best argument for male birth control I've seen all day.

This year, give yourself a vasectomy for Christmas...although you'd probably better have a real doctor handle that actual operation.

Post: #20

(12-21-2013 06:46 PM)Laurifer Wrote:  long distance