1 Year Drinking Wagon Challenge for 2014
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The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-06 23:05:00 · #526
licru90 · 2014-05-08 16:26:00 · #527
I need to do this! I've been binge drinking on the weekends for almost 20 years! The last time I attempted to stay off the sauce was last year, I made it to 62 days, I had a goal of 90 days, but i failed!
I tried many other times in the past and made it to 30 - 40 days max, then got back on the sauce.
1 year drink-free would be awesome! This time I hope i can make it…
Based on my last quit attempts, these are the triggers that get me back into the weekend binge drinking routine…
1. Social Anxiety - I'm a really shy and reserve guy… So in social situations when Im not drinking, I don't speak a word!
Drinking allows me to be comfortable around other people and not be nervous or anything. I'm able to chill and be relaxed when talking in a group of people. When I'm out with family and close friends, I'm pretty cool without drinking, but when I go out with business partners and acquaintances or family I haven't seen for awhile, thats when the social anxiety comes into play.
2. Being Bored - After the first 30-40 days of not drinking I become very bored living the sober life. I start to rationalize with myself and start thinking, "you know what, instead of going cold turkey, Im just going to follow a strict 2 beer limit, no hard liquor" ONLY 2 beers, MAX! I'm able to do this for a couple of weekends, then boom! I over-drink, and get a nasty hangover the next day! Then the cycle of getting hammered on the weekends continues.
3. Associating Booze with Activities - When I go play Golf, Tennis, Basketball, or biking with the guys, we always go eat and have a few beers afterwards (in my case its more then a few beers…)… when I jump in my pool with the wife and kids, my wife and I always have cocktails… So all these activities always trigger urges for me to drink. I've done these activities in the past without drinking, but I just always feel like Im missing out if I don't drink.
So these 3 points are my biggest triggers that I'll need to overcome in order for me to reach my one year of no booze goal!
Any tips or advice would be great!
I have not drank since Saturday May 3rd, but this weekend I have a get together to go to and a Mother's Day Dinner…
So I'm committing myself to One Year, No Booze as of Monday, May 12th!
I tried many other times in the past and made it to 30 - 40 days max, then got back on the sauce.
1 year drink-free would be awesome! This time I hope i can make it…
Based on my last quit attempts, these are the triggers that get me back into the weekend binge drinking routine…
1. Social Anxiety - I'm a really shy and reserve guy… So in social situations when Im not drinking, I don't speak a word!
Drinking allows me to be comfortable around other people and not be nervous or anything. I'm able to chill and be relaxed when talking in a group of people. When I'm out with family and close friends, I'm pretty cool without drinking, but when I go out with business partners and acquaintances or family I haven't seen for awhile, thats when the social anxiety comes into play.
2. Being Bored - After the first 30-40 days of not drinking I become very bored living the sober life. I start to rationalize with myself and start thinking, "you know what, instead of going cold turkey, Im just going to follow a strict 2 beer limit, no hard liquor" ONLY 2 beers, MAX! I'm able to do this for a couple of weekends, then boom! I over-drink, and get a nasty hangover the next day! Then the cycle of getting hammered on the weekends continues.
3. Associating Booze with Activities - When I go play Golf, Tennis, Basketball, or biking with the guys, we always go eat and have a few beers afterwards (in my case its more then a few beers…)… when I jump in my pool with the wife and kids, my wife and I always have cocktails… So all these activities always trigger urges for me to drink. I've done these activities in the past without drinking, but I just always feel like Im missing out if I don't drink.
So these 3 points are my biggest triggers that I'll need to overcome in order for me to reach my one year of no booze goal!
Any tips or advice would be great!
I have not drank since Saturday May 3rd, but this weekend I have a get together to go to and a Mother's Day Dinner…
So I'm committing myself to One Year, No Booze as of Monday, May 12th!
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-08 17:03:00 · #528
licru90, thanks for the post and welcome aboard as of May 12th.
Although this is a longish thread at this point, it's worth going through it from the beginning (you can just skip the posts that are obviously of no relevance to you), because the social anxiety and social aspects of drinking that you talk about have been discussed in many previous posts and I think you might find them very useful.
Briefly, I think that alcohol is obviously used as a crutch by people who are naturally not very social -- which makes it all the more of a danger for them, and makes trying to reduce your social anxiety without relying on alcohol all the more valuable.
You should take your 1 year wagon as an opportunity to get over your social anxiety to some degree. And I would emphasize the following points:
1. First, people have different personalities, and there is no need to change your personality completely. Some people are naturally more outgoing, and others naturally more reserved and would rather be left alone most of the time. There is nothing wrong with being of the latter type, within reason. You don't need to use a drug, or anything else, to radically transform your personality; you don't need to beat yourself up for being an introvert.
2. Having said that, some degree of sociability is both necessary and desirable in almost every life. So while you don't need to remake yourself into an extravert, it's worth doing a few simple things that would allow you to reduce social anxiety, so that you can be more social when it's necessary, and also enjoy it more over time.
3. A good deal of social anxiety comes from having certain irrational thoughts that lead to irrational feelings and ultimately irrational behaviors. The most typical one is the idea the people will judge you harshly if you make some sort of social error, and that this is a terrible outcome to be avoided at all costs. This is an irrational idea, because first, most people don't care about what you do either way -- they are just absorbed in themselves and in their own world. So you can say whatever pops into your head, and for the most part, no one really cares! So why worry about it. Second, even if you say something that people judge you negatively for, so what -- they're not going to execute you for it, are they? The consequences of making some sort of social "gaffe" are almost never so bad that it's worth being worried about.
4. A lot of such simple but sometimes counter-intuitive insights about social anxiety, among other things, were developed by Albert Ellis and others as part of REBT and CBT. They are discussed in this wonderful review thread which I strongly recommend you, or anyone suffering from such anxieties, should read through. You might also want to buy the book reviewed in this thread and try to understand it and follow its ideas:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-28873.html
The truth is that if you are willing to do a little work, you can reduce your social anxiety a great deal to very acceptable levels, and enjoy your life more as a result. All you need to do is to dispute certain irrational thoughts that are underlying the anxiety, and to be willing to practice putting yourself in social situations that you might otherwise be (irrationally) anxious about. It's really not that much work, and it can even be enjoyable in and of itself if you approach it in the right spirit.
Finally, let me say something about the "boredom" that you mention asserting itself after a few months off the sauce. I think this is a very important thing, and it is by enduring this boredom, and not falling back on the charms of alcohol to dispel it, that the really important long-term work of the wagon gets done. I wrote about this both in the OP to this thread and in subsequent posts -- the most subtle and dreadful damage done by alcohol over time is the way it robs the drinker of real and deep interest in the world and in the everyday things that make life what it is. And the only way to regain this interest, to regain the world, is to endure the boredom and apparent emptiness that descends on you when you give it up, and just keep going. This is the time when the spiritual work really gets done, and after some time -- which can be a while -- the world will come back to you, and the boredom will pass, but you can't rush it. You must live it out day after day after day, and it's not always pleasant.
But this is why it's a challenge. You just have to trust that the challenge is worth it -- which it is.
Although this is a longish thread at this point, it's worth going through it from the beginning (you can just skip the posts that are obviously of no relevance to you), because the social anxiety and social aspects of drinking that you talk about have been discussed in many previous posts and I think you might find them very useful.
Briefly, I think that alcohol is obviously used as a crutch by people who are naturally not very social -- which makes it all the more of a danger for them, and makes trying to reduce your social anxiety without relying on alcohol all the more valuable.
You should take your 1 year wagon as an opportunity to get over your social anxiety to some degree. And I would emphasize the following points:
1. First, people have different personalities, and there is no need to change your personality completely. Some people are naturally more outgoing, and others naturally more reserved and would rather be left alone most of the time. There is nothing wrong with being of the latter type, within reason. You don't need to use a drug, or anything else, to radically transform your personality; you don't need to beat yourself up for being an introvert.
2. Having said that, some degree of sociability is both necessary and desirable in almost every life. So while you don't need to remake yourself into an extravert, it's worth doing a few simple things that would allow you to reduce social anxiety, so that you can be more social when it's necessary, and also enjoy it more over time.
3. A good deal of social anxiety comes from having certain irrational thoughts that lead to irrational feelings and ultimately irrational behaviors. The most typical one is the idea the people will judge you harshly if you make some sort of social error, and that this is a terrible outcome to be avoided at all costs. This is an irrational idea, because first, most people don't care about what you do either way -- they are just absorbed in themselves and in their own world. So you can say whatever pops into your head, and for the most part, no one really cares! So why worry about it. Second, even if you say something that people judge you negatively for, so what -- they're not going to execute you for it, are they? The consequences of making some sort of social "gaffe" are almost never so bad that it's worth being worried about.
4. A lot of such simple but sometimes counter-intuitive insights about social anxiety, among other things, were developed by Albert Ellis and others as part of REBT and CBT. They are discussed in this wonderful review thread which I strongly recommend you, or anyone suffering from such anxieties, should read through. You might also want to buy the book reviewed in this thread and try to understand it and follow its ideas:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-28873.html
The truth is that if you are willing to do a little work, you can reduce your social anxiety a great deal to very acceptable levels, and enjoy your life more as a result. All you need to do is to dispute certain irrational thoughts that are underlying the anxiety, and to be willing to practice putting yourself in social situations that you might otherwise be (irrationally) anxious about. It's really not that much work, and it can even be enjoyable in and of itself if you approach it in the right spirit.
Finally, let me say something about the "boredom" that you mention asserting itself after a few months off the sauce. I think this is a very important thing, and it is by enduring this boredom, and not falling back on the charms of alcohol to dispel it, that the really important long-term work of the wagon gets done. I wrote about this both in the OP to this thread and in subsequent posts -- the most subtle and dreadful damage done by alcohol over time is the way it robs the drinker of real and deep interest in the world and in the everyday things that make life what it is. And the only way to regain this interest, to regain the world, is to endure the boredom and apparent emptiness that descends on you when you give it up, and just keep going. This is the time when the spiritual work really gets done, and after some time -- which can be a while -- the world will come back to you, and the boredom will pass, but you can't rush it. You must live it out day after day after day, and it's not always pleasant.
But this is why it's a challenge. You just have to trust that the challenge is worth it -- which it is.
licru90 · 2014-05-08 18:43:00 · #529
(05-08-2014 05:03 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote: licru90, thanks for the post and welcome aboard as of May 12th.
Although this is a longish thread at this point, it's worth going through it from the beginning (you can just skip the posts that are obviously of no relevance to you), because the social anxiety and social aspects of drinking that you talk about have been discussed in many previous posts and I think you might find them very useful.
Briefly, I think that alcohol is obviously used as a crutch by people who are naturally not very social -- which makes it all the more of a danger for them, and makes trying to reduce your social anxiety without relying on alcohol all the more valuable.
You should take your 1 year wagon as an opportunity to get over your social anxiety to some degree. And I would emphasize the following points:
1. First, people have different personalities, and there is no need to change your personality completely. Some people are naturally more outgoing, and others naturally more reserved and would rather be left alone most of the time. There is nothing wrong with being of the latter type, within reason. You don't need to use a drug, or anything else, to radically transform your personality; you don't need to beat yourself up for being an introvert.
2. Having said that, some degree of sociability is both necessary and desirable in almost every life. So while you don't need to remake yourself into an extravert, it's worth doing a few simple things that would allow you to reduce social anxiety, so that you can be more social when it's necessary, and also enjoy it more over time.
3. A good deal of social anxiety comes from having certain irrational thoughts that lead to irrational feelings and ultimately irrational behaviors. The most typical one is the idea the people will judge you harshly if you make some sort of social error, and that this is a terrible outcome to be avoided at all costs. This is an irrational idea, because first, most people don't care about what you do either way -- they are just absorbed in themselves and in their own world. So you can say whatever pops into your head, and for the most part, no one really cares! So why worry about it. Second, even if you say something that people judge you negatively for, so what -- they're not going to execute you for it, are they? The consequences of making some sort of social "gaffe" are almost never so bad that it's worth being worried about.
4. A lot of such simple but sometimes counter-intuitive insights about social anxiety, among other things, were developed by Albert Ellis and others as part of REBT and CBT. They are discussed in this wonderful review thread which I strongly recommend you, or anyone suffering from such anxieties, should read through. You might also want to buy the book reviewed in this thread and try to understand it and follow its ideas:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-28873.html
The truth is that if you are willing to do a little work, you can reduce your social anxiety a great deal to very acceptable levels, and enjoy your life more as a result. All you need to do is to dispute certain irrational thoughts that are underlying the anxiety, and to be willing to practice putting yourself in social situations that you might otherwise be (irrationally) anxious about. It's really not that much work, and it can even be enjoyable in and of itself if you approach it in the right spirit.
Finally, let me say something about the "boredom" that you mention asserting itself after a few months off the sauce. I think this is a very important thing, and it is by enduring this boredom, and not falling back on the charms of alcohol to dispel it, that the really important long-term work of the wagon gets done. I wrote about this both in the OP to this thread and in subsequent posts -- the most subtle and dreadful damage done by alcohol over time is the way it robs the drinker of real and deep interest in the world and in the everyday things that make life what it is. And the only way to regain this interest, to regain the world, is to endure the boredom and apparent emptiness that descends on you when you give it up, and just keep going. This is the time when the spiritual work really gets done, and after some time -- which can be a while -- the world will come back to you, and the boredom will pass, but you can't rush it. You must live it out day after day after day, and it's not always pleasant.
But this is why it's a challenge. You just have to trust that the challenge is worth it -- which it is.
Wow! Thanks for taking the time to reply! You've made some interesting points that are going to help me a lot.
I'll be reading through all the post in this thread and taking notes!
I really feel that I could do this
Thanks again!
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-08 19:53:00 · #530
You're very welcome. And of course you can do it -- your attitude should be that you've made a serious decision, and will stick to it no matter what. It's always up to you.
One little tip -- make sure you enjoy your drinks this weekend. That doesn't mean you need to get stumbling drunk, just that you should relish the drinks and not be stinting. You don't want to have a lingering resentment, as time goes on, that the last drinking occasion you had before the wagon was not enjoyed to the fullest. So it's good that your start date is on Monday and that you will have a last weekend to savor the sauce -- and then just let it go.
One little tip -- make sure you enjoy your drinks this weekend. That doesn't mean you need to get stumbling drunk, just that you should relish the drinks and not be stinting. You don't want to have a lingering resentment, as time goes on, that the last drinking occasion you had before the wagon was not enjoyed to the fullest. So it's good that your start date is on Monday and that you will have a last weekend to savor the sauce -- and then just let it go.
Drinking a lot of bourbon makes my acid reflux much worse.
I have got to cut that shit down.
Writing this as a reminder to myself!
I have got to cut that shit down.
Writing this as a reminder to myself!
Charlemagne In Sweatpants · 2014-05-13 13:31:00 · #532
Today is 5/13/2014, which means I've completed one full year on the wagon. This was a challenging undertaking for me, as I spent a lot of time and mental energy feeling conflicted about what I was doing.
On one hand, there are so many superficial benefits to cutting out the sauce. My career really started to pick up, and I was able to align myself with a very promising startup for some outside consulting (pushing me closer to my goal of location independence). My finances recovered, so I devoted some time and money toward overhauling my style, gradually working through Tanner's staples. I had the means to travel whenever I wanted to, payed off most of my debt, and put away a good chunk of savings. A tweak to my gym schedule got my fitness back on track, and I've never looked better naked. All good shit, and I would not have been able to do much of it while half in the bag.
On the other hand, I struggled socially, as I really missed using alcohol as a social crutch - especially as a way to bond with strangers and new acquaintances. In the past, a night out boozing and causing trouble was the high point of the week for me, but as the wagon rolled along, I started to feel more and more indifferent towards partying. In fact, being social in a drinking setting became more like a chore than an enjoyable activity. This feeling was especially amplified during big drinking events like July 4th and St. Patty's, and I worried that I was becoming disconnected from friends or coming across as a downer. I also became much more introverted during my wagon, and I often looked forward to spending time relaxing on my own with a hookah and a book.
As far as Wagon Game goes, I dated more over the past year than I ever have before (mostly Tinder). The wagon definitely threw a wrench into the gears, because girls often asked me why I wasn't drinking on dates. I experimented with different responses (ranging from playful non-answers to more sincere explanations, some of which I lifted from this very thread), and got mixed reactions. Most girls were polite and didn't press the issue, but a few came right and said they felt "weird" about it, especially because I always pick bars for first dates. I honestly feel that this is just a small hurdle to get past if your game is tight enough, and you can confidently own your sobriety and not make it "weird." I'm not there yet, but I'm getting closer. For what it's worth, I had much better luck with girls who didn't ask why I wasn't drinking, either because they didn't notice or didn't care.
I very much feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads right now. Part of me doesn't want to risk ending up a fucking mess again. Yet part of me wants to take the summer off the wagon to see how I manage the sauce armed with a year of sober perspective (although that may be the booze hamster talking).
![[Image: animals-pictures-hamsters-cute-at-bar+%25281%2529.jpg]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Cydwl3HPq-U/TZyrL7ZiE7I/AAAAAAAAFN0/F0caFEUtEPQ/s1600/animals-pictures-hamsters-cute-at-bar+%25281%2529.jpg)
Staying sober is the clearly the more challenging option, as I still feel a certain sense of comfort when I think about going back to the bottle. I'm not ready to commit to another year on the wagon, but I'm not planning on falling off.
I'll wrap up with this...
One of the more subtle changes over the past year has been how my favorite part of the day has shifted. It used to be a few hours after work, when I would be several bourbon drinks deep, trying to hit the sweet spot between pleasantly buzzed and blacked out; attempting to blur away all worries and responsibilities; probably posting nonsense in the Drunk Lounge. Now, I look forward to the commute into work. I relax on the train with my comically oversized iced coffee, listen to music, read RoK, and scan the train for talent - things I'd be too hungover to handle about a year ago.
Many thanks to Oz for starting this thread. Good luck to any of those who are still going strong from the beginning of the year. Any questions, just ask.
On one hand, there are so many superficial benefits to cutting out the sauce. My career really started to pick up, and I was able to align myself with a very promising startup for some outside consulting (pushing me closer to my goal of location independence). My finances recovered, so I devoted some time and money toward overhauling my style, gradually working through Tanner's staples. I had the means to travel whenever I wanted to, payed off most of my debt, and put away a good chunk of savings. A tweak to my gym schedule got my fitness back on track, and I've never looked better naked. All good shit, and I would not have been able to do much of it while half in the bag.
On the other hand, I struggled socially, as I really missed using alcohol as a social crutch - especially as a way to bond with strangers and new acquaintances. In the past, a night out boozing and causing trouble was the high point of the week for me, but as the wagon rolled along, I started to feel more and more indifferent towards partying. In fact, being social in a drinking setting became more like a chore than an enjoyable activity. This feeling was especially amplified during big drinking events like July 4th and St. Patty's, and I worried that I was becoming disconnected from friends or coming across as a downer. I also became much more introverted during my wagon, and I often looked forward to spending time relaxing on my own with a hookah and a book.
As far as Wagon Game goes, I dated more over the past year than I ever have before (mostly Tinder). The wagon definitely threw a wrench into the gears, because girls often asked me why I wasn't drinking on dates. I experimented with different responses (ranging from playful non-answers to more sincere explanations, some of which I lifted from this very thread), and got mixed reactions. Most girls were polite and didn't press the issue, but a few came right and said they felt "weird" about it, especially because I always pick bars for first dates. I honestly feel that this is just a small hurdle to get past if your game is tight enough, and you can confidently own your sobriety and not make it "weird." I'm not there yet, but I'm getting closer. For what it's worth, I had much better luck with girls who didn't ask why I wasn't drinking, either because they didn't notice or didn't care.
I very much feel like I'm at a bit of a crossroads right now. Part of me doesn't want to risk ending up a fucking mess again. Yet part of me wants to take the summer off the wagon to see how I manage the sauce armed with a year of sober perspective (although that may be the booze hamster talking).
Staying sober is the clearly the more challenging option, as I still feel a certain sense of comfort when I think about going back to the bottle. I'm not ready to commit to another year on the wagon, but I'm not planning on falling off.
I'll wrap up with this...
One of the more subtle changes over the past year has been how my favorite part of the day has shifted. It used to be a few hours after work, when I would be several bourbon drinks deep, trying to hit the sweet spot between pleasantly buzzed and blacked out; attempting to blur away all worries and responsibilities; probably posting nonsense in the Drunk Lounge. Now, I look forward to the commute into work. I relax on the train with my comically oversized iced coffee, listen to music, read RoK, and scan the train for talent - things I'd be too hungover to handle about a year ago.
Many thanks to Oz for starting this thread. Good luck to any of those who are still going strong from the beginning of the year. Any questions, just ask.
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-13 20:35:00 · #533
Charlemagne,
First I just want to confirm -- so you had not one single drink in 365 days, correct?
Second, this paragraph struck me very deeply:
I don't know if you fully realize how precious a gift this relaxation on your commute is.
What you are talking about is a thoughtful, attentive relaxing into life during certain default or unfilled times (of which the commute is a perfect example). And there is nothing that contributes more to the growth, excellence and enjoyment of a life over time than this very mode. It is the single greatest gift of the wagon, and your brief passage is a beautiful illustration of the subtle changes that I keep talking about, and that proceed from patiently enduring the wagon as the months go on.
I think you should reflect on this seemingly modest but actually superb achievement of the relaxed and thoughtful commute -- and strongly consider letting these changes deepen and take further hold by letting the wagon roll on for another year.
First I just want to confirm -- so you had not one single drink in 365 days, correct?
Second, this paragraph struck me very deeply:
Quote:One of the more subtle changes over the past year has been how my favorite part of the day has shifted. It used to be a few hours after work, when I would be several bourbon drinks deep, trying to hit the sweet spot between pleasantly buzzed and blacked out; attempting to blur away all worries and responsibilities; probably posting nonsense in the Drunk Lounge. Now, I look forward to the commute into work. I relax on the train with my comically oversized iced coffee, listen to music, read RoK, and scan the train for talent - things I'd be too hungover to handle about a year ago.
I don't know if you fully realize how precious a gift this relaxation on your commute is.
What you are talking about is a thoughtful, attentive relaxing into life during certain default or unfilled times (of which the commute is a perfect example). And there is nothing that contributes more to the growth, excellence and enjoyment of a life over time than this very mode. It is the single greatest gift of the wagon, and your brief passage is a beautiful illustration of the subtle changes that I keep talking about, and that proceed from patiently enduring the wagon as the months go on.
I think you should reflect on this seemingly modest but actually superb achievement of the relaxed and thoughtful commute -- and strongly consider letting these changes deepen and take further hold by letting the wagon roll on for another year.
Charlemagne In Sweatpants · 2014-05-13 21:57:00 · #534
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-13 22:00:00 · #535
(05-13-2014 09:57 PM)Charlemagne In Sweatpants Wrote:(05-13-2014 08:35 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote: First I just want to confirm -- so you had not one single drink in 365 days, correct?
Confirmed - I went 365 consecutive days without a drink...although I did enjoy kissing several girls that tasted like a bit like booze though.
Congrats, and +1 rep point from me.
Stun · 2014-05-13 22:45:00 · #536
(03-14-2014 07:19 PM)Sugar Wrote: I went from Jan 21st to March 7th no drinking and then get drunk the 7th and 8th on meetups with online dates.
I probably had 11-15 drinks between the two days. The funny thing is I didn't feel really drunk at all either night, but the following 2 days I was FUCKING exhausted. I slept most of Sunday and part of Monday also, and didn't feel rested until Thurs.
In the almost 8 week period:
- Felt great
- Skin looks superb
- Very little face swelling
- More mental energy
- Don't forget things as easily or get as ADHD
I still haven't figured out a way to do internet dates without drinking, especially when you meet the girl at night.
I'm back on the wagon as of 3/8, gonna see how long it can last this time.
Drank twice in early April on first dates, but both ended in bangs so I forgive myself.
Nothing since April 13th other than a small glass of champagne at a celebratory dinner meet.
Beyond Borders · 2014-05-13 23:09:00 · #537
(05-13-2014 01:31 PM)Charlemagne In Sweatpants Wrote: Most girls were polite and didn't press the issue, but a few came right and said they felt "weird" about it, especially because I always pick bars for first dates.
Quote:For what it's worth, I had much better luck with girls who didn't ask why I wasn't drinking, either because they didn't notice or didn't care.
There seems to be an extremely obvious solution to this....
Picking different first dates.
Great post and nice work!
lush1 · 2014-05-18 04:37:00 · #538
I'm quitting drinking more than a beer at a time as I simply don't enjoy it. I went out on Friday and had three pints of ale, felt terrible all day yesterday and didnt do any of the stuff is planned to do. I will still have a pint here or there as I enjoy the taste but no more than that.
Drinking benefits me in no way it merely hinders me and I have no desire to do it any more.
Drinking benefits me in no way it merely hinders me and I have no desire to do it any more.
3extra · 2014-05-24 20:30:00 · #539
4 weeks without a drink today.
I concur with having lucid dreams.
I concur with having lucid dreams.
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-24 21:51:00 · #540
3extra, any other comments besides the lucid dreams?
Hendrix90210 · 2014-05-25 08:27:00 · #541
I'm joining the wagon as of the 5/23/14. I've been lurking in this thread for a while, trying to 'moderate' my drinking, which might work once or twice but for some reason the third time in a week I get this strong desire to get that buzz and then my weekend is wasted, I eat junk, waste money and fall behind on my goals.
I mentally joined for a month in Feb this year when I realized drinking was holding me back and it was great - I felt the energy, productivity and overall sense of wellness, but then when the month was over, slowly slipped back to where I started. I've put back on the weight I lost (~10 pounds) and keep getting sick.
Part of why I drink is that by the afternoon I get sciatica and back pain and it seems to relax my muscles. I also get anxious and sometimes depressed, which alcohol initially makes better but eventually makes consistently worse.
I'm excited to re-orient my life away from alcohol so I can become fitter, healthier, stronger and more productive.
I mentally joined for a month in Feb this year when I realized drinking was holding me back and it was great - I felt the energy, productivity and overall sense of wellness, but then when the month was over, slowly slipped back to where I started. I've put back on the weight I lost (~10 pounds) and keep getting sick.
Part of why I drink is that by the afternoon I get sciatica and back pain and it seems to relax my muscles. I also get anxious and sometimes depressed, which alcohol initially makes better but eventually makes consistently worse.
I'm excited to re-orient my life away from alcohol so I can become fitter, healthier, stronger and more productive.
3extra · 2014-05-25 09:16:00 · #542
(05-24-2014 09:51 PM)The Lizard of Oz Wrote: 3extra, any other comments besides the lucid dreams?
I wouldn't say I feel all that different. I normally kept my drinking confined to the weekends. But when I drank, I drank a lot.
Waking up on a Sunday without a hangover is glorious, and Monday mornings don't even bother me.
I think my head is a lot clearer as well. None of the chaos/emptiness that a hangover brings.
I haven't been to a bar yet, and will be in Mexico for the month of June. I see this being a challenge.
Thanks for the motivation! A few months ago I wouldn't have dreamed of even reading this thread.
Also, I want to jack it in completely, not just for one year.
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-25 09:40:00 · #543
Hendrix90210, welcome aboard as of 5/23, and hope to hear more from you on the thread as time goes on.
You are exactly right to say that alcohol is a terrible false friend when it comes to anxiety and depression -- it relieves them in the moment, but deepens and aggravates them a great deal and sometimes decisively in the longer term. It should really be avoided like the plague by anxious/depressive types.
A few other comments/suggestions:
For the back pain/sciatica, please buy the following book by the great Robin McKenzie, called "Treat Your Own Back":
http://www.amazon.com/Treat-Your-Own-Bac...r+own+back
READ it (it is extremely short) and then do the exercises exactly as described there (they are simple, but important to do them just as described in the right order). It is very possible that doing a course of McKenzie exercises will relieve or even cure your back pain if it is discogenic in nature.
In addition, you might want to read and maybe post on Prophylaxis' fantastic physical therapy thread:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-20051.html
Finally, you should try to ameliorate your anxious and depressive tendencies over time. Being off alcohol is a huge step in that direction and probably the single most important step. But in addition make sure that you:
1. Get consistent nighttime sleep on a quite regular schedule
2. Get consistent exercise; weightlifting always ideal for men
3. Eat a good healthy diet with plenty of protein and good fats
4. Try to see if there are irrational thoughts or beliefs that are making you unnecessarily anxious or depressed, and if so, try to dispute them and let them go as much as possible. The following REBT book review thread might be a great starting point:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-28873.html
Good luck, and like I said, hope to hear more from you over time.
You are exactly right to say that alcohol is a terrible false friend when it comes to anxiety and depression -- it relieves them in the moment, but deepens and aggravates them a great deal and sometimes decisively in the longer term. It should really be avoided like the plague by anxious/depressive types.
A few other comments/suggestions:
For the back pain/sciatica, please buy the following book by the great Robin McKenzie, called "Treat Your Own Back":
http://www.amazon.com/Treat-Your-Own-Bac...r+own+back
READ it (it is extremely short) and then do the exercises exactly as described there (they are simple, but important to do them just as described in the right order). It is very possible that doing a course of McKenzie exercises will relieve or even cure your back pain if it is discogenic in nature.
In addition, you might want to read and maybe post on Prophylaxis' fantastic physical therapy thread:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-20051.html
Finally, you should try to ameliorate your anxious and depressive tendencies over time. Being off alcohol is a huge step in that direction and probably the single most important step. But in addition make sure that you:
1. Get consistent nighttime sleep on a quite regular schedule
2. Get consistent exercise; weightlifting always ideal for men
3. Eat a good healthy diet with plenty of protein and good fats
4. Try to see if there are irrational thoughts or beliefs that are making you unnecessarily anxious or depressed, and if so, try to dispute them and let them go as much as possible. The following REBT book review thread might be a great starting point:
http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-28873.html
Good luck, and like I said, hope to hear more from you over time.
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-25 09:54:00 · #544
(05-25-2014 09:16 AM)3extra Wrote: I wouldn't say I feel all that different. I normally kept my drinking confined to the weekends. But when I drank, I drank a lot.
Waking up on a Sunday without a hangover is glorious, and Monday mornings don't even bother me.
I think my head is a lot clearer as well. None of the chaos/emptiness that a hangover brings.
Sounds good. These changes will deepen over time and by imperceptible degrees over the course of the wagon.
A year of resented Monday mornings robs a man of more than he realizes; while a year of entirely acceptable Monday mornings gives more to a life that can be readily grasped. The deepest changes are always the ones that accrue very gradually over extended periods of time -- if you let them.
(05-25-2014 09:16 AM)3extra Wrote: I haven't been to a bar yet, and will be in Mexico for the month of June. I see this being a challenge.
It's best to think of it this way: you've made a firm decision and staked your pride on it -- so you'll stick to it no matter what.
No one is going to forcibly pour a drink down your throat so it's always up to you.
However, if you really feel that being in Mexico will make the temptation to drink irresistible, then maybe you shouldn't go. Think about it honestly, and either decide that you will be able to stick with your decision no matter where you are, or draw other conclusions.
(05-25-2014 09:16 AM)3extra Wrote: Thanks for the motivation! A few months ago I wouldn't have dreamed of even reading this thread.
Also, I want to jack it in completely, not just for one year.
Just make it through the one year first...
Biz · 2014-05-25 21:42:00 · #545
Had a super stressful day at work today and thought about giving in.
But I'm happy I didn't.
But I'm happy I didn't.
The Lizard of Oz · 2014-05-25 22:41:00 · #546
Biz,
Days like this make you stronger. You will have more of them -- you have to teach your brain that it can't have what it craves. That is how the work gets done.
It's not easy to deny yourself a drink at the end of a stressful day when the season is changing, and you are 4-5 months into a wagon that no longer seems fresh or glamorous. But these are the times and periods that make you.
Days like this make you stronger. You will have more of them -- you have to teach your brain that it can't have what it craves. That is how the work gets done.
It's not easy to deny yourself a drink at the end of a stressful day when the season is changing, and you are 4-5 months into a wagon that no longer seems fresh or glamorous. But these are the times and periods that make you.
bacon · 2014-05-26 05:20:00 · #547
Had a relapse of drinking several times during the last few weeks. Committed to the wagon again as of 5/24/14.
Props to all those staying on the wagon and big congrats to Charlemane in Sweat Pants for 1 year on it.
Props to all those staying on the wagon and big congrats to Charlemane in Sweat Pants for 1 year on it.
Bushido · 2014-06-01 23:07:00 · #548
5 months in now.
Have had a few social gatherings where it was tough to not partake. As the weather gets warmer, there are more invitations to do fun things in large groups and of course this involves alcohol. I admit that this kind of sucks.
When I'm on dates 1-1 or hanging out with small groups of friends it's fine. Like I wrote before, the substance itself isn't a big deal for me. But these parties, picnics, social events...I have been having crazy strong urges. In one case they were drinking prime Russian vodka and top-class Japanese red wine - it looked so damn good! I had to pay my share anyway and it sucked. This is only going to get harder as summer really gets in full swing.
Also, I took a month off from reading this forum to clear my head and read more books. I recommend it to all of you once in a while. Funnily enough, this was harder for me than abstaining from the booze!
Have had a few social gatherings where it was tough to not partake. As the weather gets warmer, there are more invitations to do fun things in large groups and of course this involves alcohol. I admit that this kind of sucks.
When I'm on dates 1-1 or hanging out with small groups of friends it's fine. Like I wrote before, the substance itself isn't a big deal for me. But these parties, picnics, social events...I have been having crazy strong urges. In one case they were drinking prime Russian vodka and top-class Japanese red wine - it looked so damn good! I had to pay my share anyway and it sucked. This is only going to get harder as summer really gets in full swing.
Also, I took a month off from reading this forum to clear my head and read more books. I recommend it to all of you once in a while. Funnily enough, this was harder for me than abstaining from the booze!
Felix88 · 2014-06-02 01:02:00 · #549
What an eyeopening experience to recognize my own drunken behaviors in other people, I don't even craze alcohol anymore.
Time to stick to my caveman diet
Time to stick to my caveman diet
Felix88 · 2014-06-05 07:42:00 · #550
It's been 2 months, some times I wonder if I'm too young and haven't party enough to hop on the wagon(i wasted my 16~22 year old period on being a life hating fatass so I feel sorrow and regret from time to time), post to remind myself to not drink.