Post: #1

http://qr.ae/NqGMW

Quote:I had two profiles on eharmony at the same time; one with a nerdy-geeky-over-educated "real Marie" profile, and the other with a, er, "Marie-lite" (bimbo? can I call myself a bimbo?) profile.

Eharmony works by matching people on the basis of their answers to an extended personality test. The online system matches behind-the-scenes and sends you results of people who match you in 26 (or is it 31? can't remember) key compatability components, as well as delivering the traits and preferences you'd specifically requested (height, weight, ethnicity, smoking, religious preference, wanting kids, etc). This was in the early days of eharmony, where profiles with photos made up perhaps 50-70% of the site, but weren't yet universal; and it was common for people to not reveal their likeness until through the initial multiple-choice question-and-answer getting-to-know-you phase, post-matching, or in emails off-site. So, I had no photos up.

I'd joined eharmony through a special offer; but there was a glitch, and so my membership ended up being free for a short period of time. I was also still getting a lot of marketing emails from the company though I was already on the site. Because it would cost me nothing but time, because I was curious about whether my lukewarm success on the site was about me, about how I was marketing myself, or about the men I was matched with, and because I wanted to know more about eharmony's testing parameters, I set up a parallel profile.

I answered the same questions the same way through the personality test, and got the same results in my personality analysis. I set my geography, age range, and other preferences exactly the same for both accounts.

But on one profile, I answered the questions with short one-word or sometimes misspelled answers, (and hahas and smiley faces) and used supermarket tabloids for examples of how to answer questions requiring soul- baring. So, my favorite book was the "DaVinci Code" (now I'd do "50 Shades"- with a wink!); the "nerdy" profile had "Devil in the White City" by Erik Larson (now I'd do a "Dan" -Ariely, Pink or Kahneman - the popular and amazing psych/behavioral economics gurus); for favorite things to do I wrote: "take care of my man, cook, workout" on one profile and "read, travel, yoga, and eat" on the other; for education I limited the details to "college grad" on "Marie-lite" but referenced my multiple graduate degrees on "real-Marie".

I was matched to the same people on each profile about 50% of the time. (Some of that was no doubt due to timing of the profiles - they were about a month apart). However, of the two profiles - the "real" me and the "bimbo" me (which is still a side of me, but whatever) - 90% of the men contacted and reached out ONLY to the "bimbo" me. The others were clearly reaching out to everyone they were matched to. Of those who were matched to both profiles, not a single one reached out only to the nerdy-real me.

I don't know what to take away from that experience. It was purely anecdotal, and there were many factors that could've influenced my "results."

I had some success on the site before that; communicated with and dated a few good and wonderful men. But after that social experiment, I let both memberships lapse. I think online dating sites are worthwhile, for sure; but there's an awful lot of shallows to wade through.

However, this lesson was clear: if it seems like you're not having a lot of success in attracting people to your profile, rewrite it. Keep it simple. Most people don't care much about or for the details until after they've met you. In the same vein as any business or data presentation (see Edward Tufte), the presentation-maker should provide enough information to interest and emotionally vest the audience in the material, and then allow the audience to pursue its own line of investigation and discovery. It's all in the spin.

On the other hand, I am a Gemini, so maybe that approach is too cynical and analytical. Piña coladas and walks-in-the-rain seem to work good, too.

As usual, the comments are about how men are stupid, want stupid women to feel superior to, etc. Nobody talked about how nerdy men don't get much play on dating websites either, and for good reason - most nerds (of both sexes) have a superiority complex without deserving to and come across as arrogant when they defend their choice of playing dungeons and dragons instead of being outside.

A male nerd at least has some value in being able to earn a lot of money by working with computers or numbers. A female nerd - what value does she have if she is acne-ridden and fat, like most of them? Note that both profiles don't have photos.

Post: #2

Direct evidence of what men respond to. 90% of men don't want to waste their time with a woman who thinks she's smart.

Also a quick translation:
"take care of my man, cook, workout" = generous, caring.
"read, travel, yoga, and eat" = selfish, boring.

"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold

Post: #3

Quote:As usual, the comments are about how men are stupid, want stupid women to feel superior to, etc.

I like women who are "smart enough". I said that to one girl. I told her I like her because she's smart enough but not smarter than me. She said "Ha I love it!".

Smart girls don't make good wives. They make fun girlfriends. They'll never surrender control to you which defeats the purpose of marriage. They'll never really know love either. They won't let a man be a man.

Post: #4

The truth is, you could well have had similar results with two profiles of guys.

It wouldn't be as extreme as 90%, but guys who try to get too clever with their profiles probably scare more girls away.

That could be the goal - to screen out those girls.

But guys with good pics and some short dopey profile shit probably do best.

Post: #5

What all "nerdy" girls really think they are:



What they really are:

Post: #6

(10-24-2013 09:36 AM)TroubleMaker Wrote:  What all "nerdy" girls really think they are:



What they really are:

dude, that needs a warning label

Post: #7

(10-24-2013 06:51 AM)crippler Wrote:  Direct evidence of what men respond to. 90% of men don't want to waste their time with a woman who thinks she's smart.

Also a quick translation:
"take care of my man, cook, workout" = generous, caring.
"read, travel, yoga, and eat" = selfish, boring.

what's wrong with yoga? I would much rather have women do yoga than get fat.

Post: #8

(10-24-2013 11:00 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  

(10-24-2013 06:51 AM)crippler Wrote:  Direct evidence of what men respond to. 90% of men don't want to waste their time with a woman who thinks she's smart.

Also a quick translation:
"take care of my man, cook, workout" = generous, caring.
"read, travel, yoga, and eat" = selfish, boring.

what's wrong with yoga? I would much rather have women do yoga than get fat.

read, travel, yoga, eat sounds really, really really vapid. its basically what every chick claims to love (eat pray love anyone)

read = People, Us, Cosmopolitan
travel = Italy, Spain, France, Argentina
yoga = half ass your way through a yoga class where she's making eyes at the instructor
eat = likely her real pleasure in life

Post: #9

Every women who has self proclaimed herself to me as being "smart" was not. Narcissistic? Yes. Delusional? Yes. Self-absorbed? Yes. Insufferable? Yes. But smart? Nope.

Post: #10

(10-24-2013 11:04 AM)augen sehen Wrote:  

(10-24-2013 11:00 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  

(10-24-2013 06:51 AM)crippler Wrote:  Direct evidence of what men respond to. 90% of men don't want to waste their time with a woman who thinks she's smart.

Also a quick translation:
"take care of my man, cook, workout" = generous, caring.
"read, travel, yoga, and eat" = selfish, boring.

what's wrong with yoga? I would much rather have women do yoga than get fat.

read, travel, yoga, eat sounds really, really really vapid. its basically what every chick claims to love (eat pray love anyone)

read = People, Us, Cosmopolitan
travel = Italy, Spain, France, Argentina
yoga = half ass your way through a yoga class where she's making eyes at the instructor
eat = likely her real pleasure in life

Yoga= Get to lazily go about in public wearing yoga pants while slurping on coffee flavored milshake.

Post: #11

(10-24-2013 11:00 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  

(10-24-2013 06:51 AM)crippler Wrote:  Direct evidence of what men respond to. 90% of men don't want to waste their time with a woman who thinks she's smart.

Also a quick translation:
"take care of my man, cook, workout" = generous, caring.
"read, travel, yoga, and eat" = selfish, boring.

what's wrong with yoga? I would much rather have women do yoga than get fat.

Yoga is just noise - says nothing at all. Could be one class a year but "it's a really hard class". Workout implies some kind of regular schedule and hints at commitment.

This is sales, why should I give a shit about some chick's 'why any man would be lucky to be with me because I'm such an awesome snowflake' list when another is offering to put 'her' man first, supply him with delicious meals, and stay slim?

Just like I would prefer a woman whose list of favourite things contains "cook" over one who loves to "eat".

"I'd hate myself if I had that kind of attitude, if I were that weak." - Arnold

Post: #12

Exhibit #209482 of female solipsism: women project their need to be impressed by a man, and assume the way to attract a man is to impress him. Bzzzt. Wrong. Men don't want to be impressed by a woman, they simply want a woman who is attractive, kind and easy to get along with. That's about it.

Of course, you could embark on a billion dollar advertising campaign and blanket the country with the message that all women need to do is be attractive, kind and easy going to land a man, and they still wouldn't get it. Hamster gonna hamst.

Post: #13

God she sounds insufferable.

I'm so tired of girls saying they're "nerds" but then list the standard "read, travel, yoga, eat". As if she's in touch with the simple pleasures of life.

The stuff she reads is no doubt 50 Shades and Twilight. And the Davinci Code is a book she liked but she thinks that one makes her seem smart and adventurous.

Where could she have possibly have traveled to by herself that is some thrilling adventure? This chick probably considers a layover in an airport someplace as having been to that particular city.

Yoga - Another lousy attempt at trying to sound "in touch" with her "oneness". The majority of yoga classes are bullshit and don't keep you thin or fit. Disclaimer, I've been through some brutal yoga classes, but I doubt this girl has been to them.

Eat - This girl could come right out of Patricia's Smart Phone. If she had said she loves to cook I'd loathe her a lot less.

She thinks she's some sort of snowflake but I guarantee, if you looked at any of her music choices, any of her movie choices, anything that she thinks makes her "different", you'd find that she is so average it's not funny.

I'd love to know what her multiple masters degrees are. I'm betting that doesn't distinguish her either.

Post: #14

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dupe of a dupe