Post: #26

I don't use facebook and never have, but that's a different topic.

Good idea would be to reread what WIA wrote. Would've loved to see something like that when I was in your shoes.

Only you know for sure if she was eye-fucking you on Tuesday. If you think she's that hot for you then make the call/text to meet up for drinks.

If I were in your position, based on everything I've read in this thread, I'd not contact her until Tuesday even if she contacts you (unless she's trying to meet up, obviously). Ideally I'd bang another girl this weekend. Even if you don't, when you see her in class make time to talk with her and she may ask where you disappeared to. Say, "It's complicated." And then proceed to set plans to meet up.

I mean, the time to do this was probably on Tuesday when she was all flirty and giggly, but hey...

Post: #27

(10-03-2013 02:34 AM)Videl Wrote:  I know displaying of personality is essential in getting a girl so when we run out of conversation topics, I just start to talk about myself endlessly?

I've got a few other things to write today, but here are some bigger ideas.

1. Your personality vs. topics

Game guys say that in order to attract a girl you need to express your personality, the best parts of your personality.

Game guys also say that you need to keep the conversation flowing.

So right now, you're putting yourself into a bind. To keep the conversation going, you're talking about yourself.

So let's put the 2 things together in a different way.

You express your personality by talking about HER favorite subject.

Reality TV?
Pop Music?
Celebrity Relationships?
Social Media?
Kierkegard?

Her favorite subject is.....HER!

Everyone's favorite subject is themselves. Even if they are introverted people. Perhaps it's because of my job and training, but once get someone to start talking about themselves, and you run out of a conversational map - you can always use the most powerful 3 letter question in the world. WHY?

Moving on..

So now you've got an overarching idea of what to talk about, but now you need the technique/tactics to actually do the talking.

And before you even start down this path, you know sometimes a girl won't give up the goods. Maybe she's smart about pick up? But in a lot of cases, she's shy. She's afraid of judgment.

So let's keep these 2 things in mind
1) she might be ready willing and able to blab about herself
2) she might be guarded.

If she's guarded, the key to getting her to take her defenses down, is to show your own vulnerability. And that creates a safe space. It builds comfort, it builds rapport.

Similar to offering your hand to a dog so that they dog can come close to you and smell it, so the dog knows you are not a threat. (Lindy West is probably throwing a fit)

Now i'm not saying you talk about your HIV scares or how you don't think you're job is going to work out and you're life's a mess. Emotional vomit is something you want to avoid. (and also something you do not want to encourage on her part, lest you become the best friend, not the lover)

The vulnerability is something that is only slightly embarrassing but understandable.

"lend me your ear for a second"
"I'm at work right, and the boss wants all of us to go to lunch"
"Except the Boss's idea of lunch is *insert something you find awful*

^Do you see where this is going?

Maybe you're a good man and hate mayonnaise like myself, thus the story will revolve around the boss wanting you to try some mayonnaise laden dish. And now your embarrassing moment is how you get out of it.

OR

You could even get a little, flirty with it. "At the lunch is Suzy from HR, and she really kinda digs me. But she's not my type. Suzy is *describe someone exotic and hot*, but that's not really my tastes.

And if date asks what you're type is, she's fishing for approval. In which case you look her up down, and describe her generally...and probably end with, "kinda like you, except taller..smaller feet...no dimples..."

So compliment her, show your sexual intent, validate her and then take it away.

....

I'm assuming you're going to really tell a good story.
That the story will include the typical attraction switches, but just mentioned as mere details. #humblebrags if you will.

So at the punch line/conclusion, you hit her up

"I bet you've never had to face anything like that" (a challenge if she's sassy)
Or
"have you ever dealt with a boss like that, I can't...." (a question if she's shy)

So now she's been entertained, the space has been made safe, and she will then volunteer something.

And you pounce on whatever she says.

Now that she's talking about her.
The kinds of questions and your reactions to her answers are showing YOUR PERSONALITY.

what a question, This guy is thoughtful
what a reaction, This guy is creative
what a statement, This guy is bad news

Et cetera.

(10-03-2013 02:34 AM)Videl Wrote:  So basically to reflect my current mindset with the desired mindset you explained in the quote I made:
-I can be interesting person to her, but not for a lot of hours, sometimes I crawl into my shell.
-Being trouble maker? That is totally not my personality. Could you give some examples of how to be trouble maker?
-When drinking beer, I always participate in conversation but I'm never the life of the party

1) You are interesting. Right now you're the most interesting person in this post.

And you can most definitely be interesting to a woman for hours. You can be interesting to a woman for a lifetime. (now will she be interesting to you for a lifetime?)

2) Trouble Maker - maybe that isn't your personality. But i'm sure you've gotten into trouble before.

Don't get hung up on the "character", or the parts of you that you think a chick wants to hear about, or that some game guru or dork on the internet like myself is telling you to be.

If you're not the jokester, the trouble maker, the bad boy...maybe you're the starry eyed school boy, maybe you're the cop.

You can do 2 things at this point.
- Who are you right now? - Take an inventory of who you are, which might mean asking your closest friends, what are 5 good things about me, or what do you think of when you see my name (a painful exercise if you ask me). And then those are the things that you emphasize when you talk to girls.

or

- you can decide who you want to be.

My overall life philosophy is that most everything external to you can be gained by drawing on your inner resources, so I go for option #2. (and drawing on those inner resources might make you tap someone else on the shoulder and ask for help - you can't do everything by your damn self)

If you don't want to be the instigator, then be the peace keeper. And know that if that's not you at present, you can become that person. It won't be easy or fast, but your destiny, the version of yourself you want to be - is and will always be totally up to you.

3) The Life of the party?

If this isn't you already, you can only get this way by throwing parties.
Or making yourself the center of attention.

In essence, you have to be kinda girly.

People look back on the eyeliner, furry hats, googles, and black finger nail polish as being gimmicky - but those things draw attention, both negative and positive. Learning how to deal with that attention, how to mold it and shape it and direct it, that's an underlying skill of Game.

But game haters who are often practitioners (many successful) just don't think very deeply about this stuff. It's quite sad really.

They say, "that's stupid, that doesn't work", despite the fact that it did work at one time and the general idea continues to work in many different ways.

No intellectual curiosity, no desire to learn more than what they already know....

The organic way is to be legitimately cool and interesting and unapologetic about it.

The artificial way is dress and act like you're cool and interesting and fake it till you make it.

Either way will get you used to "holding court".

WIA

Post: #28

(10-02-2013 07:30 PM)MaleDefined Wrote:  CJ,

Fair point, however I've noticed that no matter how close I am with a girl, she's still playing on the other team. I find out very little useful information from other women. I did appreciate living with other women, however. It was fascinating to see the beast in action.

I think I learn more from observation, noticing tendencies, etc more than anything they actually say.

Post: #29

(10-03-2013 04:34 PM)Baldwin81 Wrote:  I don't use facebook and never have, but that's a different topic.

Good idea would be to reread what WIA wrote. Would've loved to see something like that when I was in your shoes.

Only you know for sure if she was eye-fucking you on Tuesday. If you think she's that hot for you then make the call/text to meet up for drinks.

If I were in your position, based on everything I've read in this thread, I'd not contact her until Tuesday even if she contacts you (unless she's trying to meet up, obviously). Ideally I'd bang another girl this weekend. Even if you don't, when you see her in class make time to talk with her and she may ask where you disappeared to. Say, "It's complicated." And then proceed to set plans to meet up.

I mean, the time to do this was probably on Tuesday when she was all flirty and giggly, but hey...

I'm thinking about sending her facebook message asking her what she is going to do tonight. I'm not keen on waiting until next tuesday since she might think, why doesn't this guy contacted me for week. I guess what happened on the bus was not great deal for him.

Post: #30

I'm going to ask her what she is doing today, although she didn't give feedback at my last message, is this good idea?

Post: #31

(10-04-2013 08:06 AM)Videl Wrote:  I'm going to ask her what she is doing today, although she didn't give feedback at my last message, is this good idea?

Don't expect too much from girls. Very desirable girls in particular will not put in the effort of keeping the interaction going if you don't give her anything to go after.

Don't message girls on Facebook, get their number. It's far more personal and easier medium for running text game.

Text game 101:

- The idea is to meet her ASAP, not build attraction
- Keep it terse
- End messages with a call to action she can react to
- The first message you send can be related to something you talked about or just something value giving that doesn't require a reply

Post: #32

(10-04-2013 10:31 AM)reino341 Wrote:  

(10-04-2013 08:06 AM)Videl Wrote:  I'm going to ask her what she is doing today, although she didn't give feedback at my last message, is this good idea?

Don't expect too much from girls. Very desirable girls in particular will not put in the effort of keeping the interaction going if you don't give her anything to go after.

Don't message girls on Facebook, get their number. It's far more personal and easier medium for running text game.

Text game 101:

- The idea is to meet her ASAP, not build attraction
- Keep it terse
- End messages with a call to action she can react to
- The first message you send can be related to something you talked about or just something value giving that doesn't require a reply

Code:

"hi x, nice meeting you /reino341"
"You too reino341 :)"
2 days later
"how's your day been"
"A bit tired but otherwise fine. Yours?"
"quite productive. do you have sun or mon free, we should hang out"
"I think sunday could work :) blah lbha blah"

Hey, thanks a lot I got little bit confused because some people said asking girls how their day is going is "beta", or at least asking two questions but I'm going to ask what she is doing today.

I don't have her number because she moved new to this country, neither do I have my personal phone number exactly for the same reason. Facebook is only line of communication.

About desirable girls not putting effort because they are "hot". This was not the case when I spoke to her personally. She came to me to talk first and after that I flirted with her for long period. She said we should continue on facebook so I expected her to be more talkactive on facebook since she was like that in face-to-face. So you suggest me being more leading?

Post: #33

(10-02-2013 10:14 AM)Videl Wrote:  Last time I spoke to her was yesterday. She said we should continue talking on facebook. Should I wait until she messages or should I start? And what should I type?

NO. Say facebook is for teenagers, and you want to meet.
then:

1) Never believe excuses
2) Never! Believe excuses.
3) NEVER BELIEVE EXCUSES

Continue opening other women. Have so many images of women in your mind you can't really focus on anyone who's not fucking you.

Post: #34

(10-04-2013 10:31 AM)reino341 Wrote:  Text game 101:

- The idea is to meet her ASAP, not build attraction
- Keep it terse
- End messages with a call to action she can react to
- The first message you send can be related to something you talked about or just something value giving that doesn't require a reply

Bolded idea is beautiful. Did you make up that phrase? Great.
+1 rep point for super concise, powerful text message advice.

Post: #35

She responded to my message:
Me:"What are you doing today?"
She:"Nothing, and you? : )"
Me: "I wanted to go to the ... boat party but missed the boat.. lol"

Is this good? ****, she doesn't respond

****, I'm so nervous. She is trully stunning Belarusian girl (straight 9). I really have to be less absorbed by her looks which I was when I talked to her last time but I'm afraid of meeting her again and then being boring or something haha.

Post: #36

She didn't respond again to my last message. Should I invite her for coffee today any way?

Post: #37

I see this happen in business a lot. You could call it 'business game", you get close to a women around circumstances that dont permit overtly sexual advances. Dont be flirty. Dont be sexual. Lay in wait. She is building trust and admiration for you, when you finally do fuck it will be good for her. This is a perfect opportunity to set yourself up as the authority/mature man she is probably looking for, only if you view yourself like that, and not a kid in the 'friendzone'. What an immature, high school term... Just dont give too much or act like a bitch.

Your response above is what I am talking about. "What are you doing today"? Really dude? Youre a friend because you want to be, and youre acting like one. Say "lets get a drink", or something witty. You're basically asking to kiss her. EE women like masculine men with class, not meek and mild american men.

Post: #38

(10-05-2013 11:41 AM)puckman Wrote:  I see this happen in business a lot. You could call it 'business game", you get close to a women around circumstances that dont permit overtly sexual advances. Dont be flirty. Dont be sexual. Lay in wait. She is building trust and admiration for you, when you finally do fuck it will be good for her. This is a perfect opportunity to set yourself up as the authority/mature man she is probably looking for, only if you view yourself like that, and not a kid in the 'friendzone'. What an immature, high school term... Just dont give too much or act like a bitch.

Amen. The friendzone is a very adolescent mind set. The number of 'let's be friends' talks I've gotten since growing up and learning how to present myself properly has plummeted. I've only gotten one this year and I laughed at the girl. Girls know what I'm about and can either accept it or reject it.

Post: #39

(10-04-2013 01:35 PM)Videl Wrote:  She responded to my message:
Me:"What are you doing today?"
She:"Nothing, and you? : )"
Me: "I wanted to go to the ... boat party but missed the boat.. lol"

Is this good? ****, she doesn't respond

****, I'm so nervous. She is trully stunning Belarusian girl (straight 9). I really have to be less absorbed by her looks which I was when I talked to her last time but I'm afraid of meeting her again and then being boring or something haha.

1) if she was trying to get rid of you she wouldn't admit to doing nothing-- she would pretend to be busy.
2) She asked you what you were doing. That's really good. Often that's the closest women get to inviting you. Also

You didn't include an actionable request in your message as previous poster cleverly suggested. Women need to be led. They are generally quite unsure of themselves.

Now she may think you are childish or not interested. Go ahead and be nervous but ASK HER TO MEET YOU. THEY CANNOT DO IT THEY'RE TOO SHY. Some girls like when you're nervous IF YOU STILL MAKE A MOVE.

reino341 Wrote:
Text game 101:

- The idea is to meet her ASAP, not build attraction
- Keep it terse
- End messages with a call to action she can react to

Post: #40

(10-05-2013 10:43 PM)iknowexactly Wrote:  

(10-04-2013 01:35 PM)Videl Wrote:  She responded to my message:
Me:"What are you doing today?"
She:"Nothing, and you? : )"
Me: "I wanted to go to the ... boat party but missed the boat.. lol"

Is this good? ****, she doesn't respond

****, I'm so nervous. She is trully stunning Belarusian girl (straight 9). I really have to be less absorbed by her looks which I was when I talked to her last time but I'm afraid of meeting her again and then being boring or something haha.

1) if she was trying to get rid of you she wouldn't admit to doing nothing-- she would pretend to be busy.
2) She asked you what you were doing. That's really good. Often that's the closest women get to inviting you. Also

You didn't include an actionable request in your message as previous poster cleverly suggested. Women need to be led. They are generally quite unsure of themselves.

Now she may think you are childish or not interested. Go ahead and be nervous but ASK HER TO MEET YOU. THEY CANNOT DO IT THEY'RE TOO SHY. Some girls like when you're nervous IF YOU STILL MAKE A MOVE.

reino341 Wrote:
Text game 101:

- The idea is to meet her ASAP, not build attraction
- Keep it terse
- End messages with a call to action she can react to

I know but I was waiting a response from her like. "it is a pity you missed the boat" or something. After that I would have invited her to go out.

Any way, I'm thinking inviting her today to hang out, drink coffee, or something.

Is this a good line? "Hey, we haven't seen each other since tuesday. Let's go for a coffee."

Post: #41

(10-06-2013 03:15 AM)Videl Wrote:  I know but I was waiting a response from her like. "it is a pity you missed the boat" or something. After that I would have invited her to go out.

Like I said, very good looking girls do very little effort on their part to keep the interaction going. Maybe if she was fat she you could've expected any kind of reply.

(10-06-2013 03:15 AM)Videl Wrote:  Is this a good line? "Hey, we haven't seen each other since tuesday. Let's go for a coffee."

The bolded part is a needy thing to say to a girl you don't have any kind of connection with. It's going to weird her out because she's going to think "Why does this guy think it matters we haven't seen since Tuesday. Is he reading too much into this?" And don't just say lets go for a coffee, suggest a time, she's not going to make the plans for you...

Post: #42

(10-06-2013 03:56 AM)reino341 Wrote:  Like I said, very good looking girls do very little effort on their part to keep the interaction going. Maybe if she was fat she you could've expected any kind of reply.

I was kind of expecting her to show some assertiveness too but I guess that is my job. I have to admit this is a problem for me. I tend to be passive and couple of times earlier I didn't invite the girls I was talking to at the time, hoping to see her other time and there was never an other time. I guess I expected her to put her ass on the line too but they never did, other than eye fucking and having regular conversation but I think I learned my lesson. I guess you are right.

Quote:The bolded part is a needy thing to say to a girl you don't have any kind of connection with. It's going to weird her out because she's going to think "Why does this guy think it matters we haven't seen since Tuesday. Is he reading too much into this?" And don't just say lets go for a coffee, suggest a time, she's not going to make the plans for you...

I guess couple of question marks popped in my head because in face-to-face she was very talkactive and saying. Let's talk on facebook and now she is not talkactive. I mean she gave all the signals last tuesday so I'm going to put my balls on the chopping board and ask her to hang out. Not sure how I'm going to approach the coffee date though. Last time I was very funny and this time I don't want to disappoint her.

Post: #43

Is inviting her to the movies an option? Considering I have only seen her once and that was last tuesday.

Post: #44

(10-06-2013 03:15 AM)Videl Wrote:  Is this a good line? "Hey, we haven't seen each other since tuesday. Let's go for a coffee."

So.... you want to hang out and talk about stuff over coffee like old girlfriends? Throw in a muffin too. Whats that old SNL skit, Coffee Talk? Go watch that on YouTube. Thats what getting coffee with women is all about. No sex happens after a coffee date. Do this, take a look around your average Starbucks during the day and see how many "dates" you can spot. ZERO. These days all I see are middle aged people with outdated big PC laptops engaging in old people talk, sometimes with a stack of mail or random papers next to them. Thats romantic as hell.

Friends don't typically get dressed up and go out for ALCOHOLIC drinks 1:1 together at a nice bar/lounge/club late at night after dinner.

Not trying to be mean here dude but you have to view this from an entirely different perspective. The typical nice american suburban kid isnt really exposed to this perspective, and usually has to strike off on their own to learn on their own, get exposed to different cultures, get away from friends who act with women this same way, etc.

Post: #45

Some second-class pickup guru told me coffee dates are the best because they are cheap and you can have conversation without shouting because of music too hard.

Anway, what about 1:1 cinema? I'm going to say: "There is a good movie ... you want to go?"
But the problem with movies is that you are inviting her, maybe yes talk to her few minutes before the movie starts and then stare at a screen for probably more than an hour. Although we had good connection and chemistry and I feel like I know her for months we only seen each other once.

If I want to invite her for one on one drinks I have to wait until next thursday/friday since it is not appropriate to go out for drinks on sunday/monday,etc

Post: #46

Whether by a phone call, a text, telegram, or carrier pidgeon...

ASK HER OUT FOR DRINKS!

Post: #47

(10-06-2013 11:22 AM)Videl Wrote:  Some second-class pickup guru told me coffee dates are the best because they are cheap and you can have conversation without shouting because of music too hard.

You should find a night venue where music is not too loud and they have some sofas to sit down or something where you can sit beside her comfortably. If you can't remember a place like that around your location, just go from door to door and check them out

(10-06-2013 11:22 AM)Videl Wrote:  Anway, what about 1:1 cinema? I'm going to say: "There is a good movie ... you want to go?"
But the problem with movies is that you are inviting her, maybe yes talk to her few minutes before the movie starts and then stare at a screen for probably more than an hour. Although we had good connection and chemistry and I feel like I know her for months we only seen each other once.

Cinema date is like you would make a two hour pause during your date, so you basically just waste time by that.

Post: #48

So I invited her out today. This is how it went.

==========================================
Me: hey, are you free today? We should hang out.

She: hey, no i had calsses all freaking day! just got home! what have u been doing?
==========================================

So was she really busy all day? Or was she not interested? She saw my msg at the end of the day.

Post: #49

Haven't your read Bang? Suggest a date at least two days in advance.

Post: #50

(10-07-2013 01:49 PM)Videl Wrote:  So I invited her out today. This is how it went.

==========================================
Me: hey, are you free today? We should hang out.

She: hey, no i had calsses all freaking day! just got home! what have u been doing?
==========================================

So was she really busy all day? Or was she not interested? She saw my msg at the end of the day.

Videl, this is the newbie forum, but please think ahead. If you can't get a hold of a girl through the phone and it's basically ONLY facebook, then your logistics are near impossible for trying to get a same day hangout. Try to plan something a few days in advance and it may have to be longer because of the inherent delays in your communication medium.

That said, she still hasn't really shot you down, so don't answer her question directly (make something fantastical up that's obviously flirty/joking, or be vague). Tell her you're going to get a couple drinks with her on a date in the future. Make plans. A specific time and place to meet her since your communication medium is so crappy. You need to strike while the iron is hot.