Post: #1

I was reading the thread How do we help my friend grow up and improve himself? about liveandlearn7's friend who seemed to have lost confidence and is stuck in a rut. I was thinking about what is it that changes peoples life's around?

I'm still not fully sorted career wise but my inner game is much improved from a few years ago.

The 3 most important changes I made were

1) Forcefully working to change my negative beliefs about myself
2) Healthy lifestyle - Getting into fitness and eating less junk
3) Saying yes to things - I used to say no when I wasn't sure about things, now I try to say yes and have met new people and had some cool new experiences

For those of you that have made big changes in your life and sorted your inner game, what were the 3 most important changes you made?

Post: #2

1) Being happy with my life
2) Lifestyle, eat well, play sports, stay fit and dress superbly
3) Not being afraid of speaking my mind when needed.

Post: #3

1) Changing my mindset towards women
2) Cutting out beta habits and body language
3) Eating better and exercising/working out
All three are a work in progress, it's slow but steady, but things are going in the right direction

Post: #4

Cutting out negative people. You'd be surprised how much of a mental effect hanging out with shitheads has on you.

Start doing thing dolo. Like shopping for clothes. You don't need anyone's help or opinion.

Be the organizer of events. I setup a whitewater rafting trip recently. Organized everyone that was interested. Booked it online. Dinner and drinks after. It was a good day.

Post: #5

Parlay is so right. For me, being in a fraternity, I've had a set social group, pace, etc for a few years. This merited me all of the trappings of having a strong frame- I had followers, pussy, etc. Even commanded a good bit of respect and met lots of people, organized things, learned to lead. But I really began coming into my own since I've branched out on the 'dolo, and become comfortable with pretty much anything.

OPEN DOOR. EXIT COMFORT ZONE.

Post: #6

Workout
Dress well

Post: #7

-

1. Cut negative people out of my life

2. Eat healthier

3. Travel and learn languages

Post: #8

*Just by improving my frame. Especially by writing out my own thoughts in a notebook, limiting beliefs, all this internal stuff. Looking at your own insecurities, being honest with them, witnessing it all, letting it go, seeing the BS, understanding your motivations, why their may be AA - all this sort of thing. Writing it out and really observing it all and slashing through it I found to be the best way to approach inner game.

*I went through a phase of wearing jewellery as well, like women do. Quite confronting, I don't wear so much now, but by really embracing this kind of "peacocking", it makes you learn how to validate and appreciate yourself and your own feathers.

*Just understanding what human value is. Giving true value to the people in any form is going to open the right doors for you in every way.

*Going out alone at night and being totally comfortable about it. It just brings everything regarding your frame to the fore, I will bring a notebook and write out things as well.

Post: #9

Great thread.

Seems like working out and overall fitness will be a big theme here. It's no surprise, since being comfortable with your body, improving it, and treating it properly is a difference of night and day when it comes the quality of your life.

Working out for me has made a big difference, although I get complimented on my achievements, I am far off from where I want to be. Although I think more about the result than the journey here, it's definitely had an affect on my confidence, even if it is greater than I am aware of.

Although I do go out solo, it is not always consistently, so I have yet to achieve the full benefits of that.

However, one thing that has made a big difference for me is going out sober. I think the confidence I get from it is subconscious, and it translates to my presence during the regular day as well. I still get nervous in some situations (day approaches, novel public speaking situations) but I am much more likely to actually engage in them and do better than before.

Another one I can't recommend enough, is to get advice and learn from those who are better/more knowledgeable/are doing what you want to do. Either speak to them and inquire, hang out with them if you can, but at the very least ask some questions. I've gone up to olympic weight lifters and asked them about certain techniques, I've made an effort to hang out with the greatest players I know, I've chatted with old men about life and opportunities, and many more.

In this forum alone I've pm'd or skyped on several occasions with certain members who I consider masters at a certain concept or field.

Post: #10

1. Lifting Weights - the iron just makes me feel better. Biophysically, emotionally, whatever. Having a rough week, feeling angry? I Look at that 315lbs lying there on the floor and channel that frustration into a set of deadlifts. When I am done the negative energy is gone, and I am feeling the rush of the hormones that the intense workout has triggered.

2. BJJ - due to work and school I haven't trained as much in the past few months as I would have liked. That said, BJJ has all of the benefits of the weight room, with the added benefit of an additional level of confidence. When someone is trying their best to choke you for the last 15 minutes of class, other shit just seems smaller in comparison

3. Clothes - I always feel better when I am dressed well. I hate the feeling of seeing an approach worthy girl and having that second thought because I am in my 3rd string clothing....its anxiety that shouldn't have existed in the first place.

Post: #11

1. Communicating and moving with an air of strength

2. Not giving a damn about rejection (or what anyone else thinks of me)

3. (most important to me): Truly believing that I deserve the best of what the world has to offer

...still working on all these things, plus many more, but these 3 specifically have helped me create positive changes.

Post: #12

1. Staying focused on my goals.
2. Dressing well all the time
3. Being bold in my interacts with women.

Post: #13

I've seen inner game broken down into 3 areas in the past: Health, Wealth and Relationships (MM did to IIRC ?).

A few off the top of my head from my own experience:

- Working out/ Dressing well
- Being honest with self and having CONSISTENCY in achieving goals
- Dropping bad relationships
- Being more organized so I became more proactive rather the reactive in life (bills etc)
- Approaching more and learning not to take rejection to the core
- Having bigger goals/interests outside women

Post: #14

-focusing on myself, being selfish with my money, time and attention
-fitness, playing sports, training
-reading and sleeping

Post: #15

*mantra meditation
*reading "the mind-made prison"
*reading "love yourself like your life depends on it"

Night and day difference...

Post: #16

1) lifting weights
2) focusing on my money game
3) being more selective about who I spend time with, cutting friends who don't bring anything to the table

Post: #17

These are the three main things I have done to improve how I feel inside:

1. Improve overall health. Eating healthier, working out consistently, drinking more water, and having a solid sleep schedule helps a lot.

2. Develop positive belief system. I did this in three ways.

First I began writing daily affirmations. Ex: "I am the greatest there ever was."

Second I have some quotes that I read daily:
"Man cannot remake himself without suffering, for he is both the marble and the sculptor." -Alexis Carrel
"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." -Buddha
"Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" -Sun Tzu
"Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of the opponent's fate." -Sun Tzu
"You have to believe in yourself." -Sun Tzu
"It was a high counsel that I once heard given to a young person, 'Always do what you are afraid to do.'" –Ralph Waldo Emerson

The last thing I did was look at things from a different perspective. For example, I know a lot of people here complain about the U.S. because of low moral values and the women are non-ideal. I see it as, I have not spent a single day here without food, shelter, water, or clothing, so things must not be as bad as they seem.

3. Smile more. Physically smiling has a weird psychological effect on the mind. When you smile, even if you are sad or angry at the time, it somehow hijacks the brain and makes you feel better.

If all else fails, smile.

Post: #18

See this thread about a book and school of thought that can result in remarkable improvements in inner game:

/thread-28873.html

Post: #19

Studying the human mind and psyche
Resolving emotional scars from childhood
Getting in as many repetitions as possible to broaden my perspective as fast as possible

Post: #20

Eating healthy and hitting the gym hard
Being more positive and proactive
Dressing well and reading

Post: #21

1) Being hated as a goal.
2) Humiliation is the only answer
3) Very high protein diet made it way easier to lose weight

Post: #22

Fix Your Inner Game

How To Fix Your Inner Game

Post: #23

(10-11-2013 09:19 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Studying the human mind and psyche
Resolving emotional scars from childhood
Getting in as many repetitions as possible to broaden my perspective as fast as possible

what do you mean with 'repetitions'?

For me:
-doing things that im proud of (travelled, doing well in uni, a better-than-average side job
-exercising, could be running, swimming, lifting weights
-on a certain moment I learned a lot of people like to show off about their good life, what changed my perspective on a lot of things. For example: A year ago, I would have been very frustrated if I couldn't attend a certain social event. Now I now that these events show up all the time. But organize your own events as well.

Post: #24

being a man and always taking responsibility.

don't like something, change it.

if you can't change it, accept it.

complaining is not part of my repetoire.

Post: #25

Everyone here is forgetting the most important thing:

CHANGE YOUR ENVIRONMENT!

If you're living at home and you hate life, spend a day outside of it and you'll see how much your mindset changes. Therefore, move out ASAP. If you hate your job, GET A DIFFERENT ONE. If you hate your city, MOVE TO A DIFFERENT ONE. Hate your fb/gf/wife, GET A DIFFERENT ONE.

etc. etc.