Post: #1

I find myself caring less and less as the years go by. Does this happen to everyone or do some guys always wonder about someone else's opinion?

Post: #2

less and less. and I'm happy about that.


no party today?
I'm in the bayou place. seems like a decent place
three girls open me first five minutes, I don't think that ever happened to me before

Post: #3

(08-24-2013 12:30 AM)houston Wrote:  I find myself caring less and less as the years go by. Does this happen to everyone or do some guys always wonder about someone else's opinion?

Same here, it just seems that people find their true interests and pursue them. I'll rather be happy than make others happy.

Back in HS or freshman college year I used to care about trends and what people approved of. As I cared less and adopted my style, people began giving me compliments for standing outside the crowd.

Post: #4

Pants - I'm in another Texas city right now. I should be in town next weekend if you wanna grab a drink.

Post: #5

If only my ladies knew that as soon as I'm done banging them and get a moment to myself I mouth queef a pee wee herman chuckle..

Post: #6

Very common as people get older.

Part of it is the natural narcissism people all have from childhood that fades with time.

I, myself, have found myself this experiencing this. I had some dude flip me off on the road for no reason. At 20, this would have been bothered by this. Now, I didn't even think about it till writing this.

It takes much emotional energy to maintain a mindset worrying so much about something you can't control - other's opinions of you - it isn't sustainable.

Plus, being a member of this forum, you probably have learned to not care about what others think and more on how to better your life.

Post: #7

(08-24-2013 12:47 AM)2Wycked Wrote:  Very common as people get older.

Agree. We are also realizing that the people around us in western society are mostly fools so why should we care.

Post: #8

I may have been the most one of the most insecure, needy validation-seekers alive during my Senior year of high school and my freshman year of college. My concern for my peers' opinions was massive and, at times, governed my behavior as it consumed my entire process of thought.

I started to change during the latest stages of my freshman year and completed the process during my sophomore year. At that point, I simply started doing what I wanted to do and caring less and less about what everyone else thought. I had to sort of cut myself off from humanity a bit to achieve this (essentially became a ghost on my campus), but eventually I reached a stage of near total apathy. I cared fuck all about everyone and everything save for a few indispensable factors crucial to my life and/or future (ex: my family, my grades, my exercise/physical health). It was freeing.

Now that I've seen both total neediness and total apathy, I've begun to settle into a nice middle ground between the two. I maintain some concern for what others think of me, but not nearly as much as I used to and I'm able to get over things that would have stuck on my mind 3-4 years ago much more rapidly. I would say that the point I'm at now is closer to total apathy than it is to total neediness on the grand scale of things, but it is healthier than either extreme.

TL;DR: I care, but much less than I once did.

Post: #9

Professionally, yeah. Negative rep in most business gets you blackballed.

I just don't say much, get my work done, and play in places where colleagues don't tread.

Post: #10

(08-24-2013 12:47 AM)2Wycked Wrote:  Very common as people get older.

I was just reading a psych article saying this is common as you get older: you filter out the negative opinions and persons within in your circle because you no longer give enough of a shit to pretend to impress them. The other thing: your peer group tends to reduce in size as your personal happiness increases.

A mate of mine is the most confident man I've ever met. He takes it to extremes. He once told me that other people's opinions mean nothing to him because they literally don't exist to him unless he chooses them to, as most people are 'mundane thinkers' and have not much to offer him intellectually.

Post: #11

I'm not gonna hold you I do.
And I have no excuse for it.

My body sometimes shakes for no reason when I lay down.

When someone says/does shit that bothers me, I feel this weird feeling like my heart drops.

I had to stop looking at my profile on here.

And hell I can't even sleep due to a mixture of excitement of going back to school and the fear of wondering what people will think about me after I came back after that suspension.

So my options to cope with this feeling is to just relax and work on not worrying.

Post: #12

(08-24-2013 03:01 AM)Rosca Wrote:  ixture of excitement of going back to school and the fear of wondering what people will think about me after I came back after that suspension.

Relax, dude: people are so wrapped up in their own day-to-day bullshit and drama that we far overestimate our own importance to them. If you're the subject of idle gossip, so fucking what, it'll be brief until the next bright and shiny thing wanders into their field of view. If you make a thing of it, you'll create the thing.

Post: #13

When you're 20, you care what other people think about you. When you're 40, you don't care anymore. When you're 60, you realize nobody thinks about you.

Post: #14

Do I care what some random stranger thinks of me on the street, driving on the highway, or on the internet? Of course not. Do I care what my parents and closest friends think? Sure.

In your career a reputation can be everything. Do I care what someone thinks of me? No. Do I care if my reputation is permanently tarnished? Sure.

I guess it all comes down to how perception affects your life. The older you get, the less anyone cares.. that's for sure.

Post: #15

I think everyone cares what other people think to some degree. It's hardwired into us since humans evolved as tribal/pack animals. We don't want to be excommunicated from whatever "group" we belong to. Thus we care. People who truly don't care what others think of them are sociopaths. Jeffrey Dahmer is a guy who didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of him. People will say they don't care, but I think that's posturing or they just aren't being fully honest with themselves.

You need to find some healthy balance. Neither being overly concerned with the approval of others, yet not being so solipsistic that you are oblivious to how you come off to other people. Either can be serious problems in the extreme.

Post: #16

(08-24-2013 06:21 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  I think everyone cares what other people think to some degree. It's hardwired into us since humans evolved as tribal/pack animals. We don't want to be excommunicated from whatever "group" we belong to. Thus we care. People who truly don't care what others think of them are sociopaths. Jeffrey Dahmer is a guy who didn't give a fuck what anyone thought of him. People will say they don't care, but I think that's posturing or they just aren't being fully honest with themselves.

You need to find some healthy balance. Neither being overly concerned with the approval of others, yet not being so solipsistic that you are oblivious to how you come off to other people. Either can be serious problems in the extreme.

Care in as much that caring about what they think is beneficial to you. If someone says they're gonna give me $1,000,0000 if they think I'm funny, you damn right I'm gonna care. If some ugly broad thinks I'm rude for not offering to buy her a drink, I don't care, and it's a waste of energy to care.

To some degree, we care what women think unless we find them unattractive. Guess what? That's not a bad thing. Besides, women care what we think too, unless they find us unattractive. For as much more sexually driven men are, women seem to talk about guys a lot more then men talk about chicks. So they care too.

Post: #17

Only if they are in a position where I might need something from them.

Post: #18

I mostly care about what I think about people since being exposed to red-pill mentality, so no.

Post: #19

No. Never have, never will.

Post: #20

I find I care less about the opinions of others as time goes by, but in truth, I never cared all that much to begin with. This made me an awkward outcast when I was young, but now gives me the confidence and inner security to get shit done.

It isn't automatic, though. I know a 60 year old man who is possibly the most insecure, validation-seeking human being I have ever met, of either gender. In fact, I've known a number of older men like this. Two things they have all had in common are 1. Substance abuse (potheads, alcoholics, etc.), and 2. the opinions of others regarding themselves, and their (irrationally inflated) opinions of themselves, are their only sources of validation. No accomplishments, no valuable skills, no inner resources they can use to back up their talk. I expect to see more and more of this in the future, as young men become old men without ever having been taught to create value.

Post: #21

The fear of rejection is the embodiment of caring what people/sexy broads think.

Post: #22

I think there are 3 tiers for me:

Literally do not give a fuck at all: random people on the street, random bar patrons, girls I'm banging or trying to bang

I care for instrumental reasons (e.g. because of the effect my reputation has on my interests): bosses, co-workers, potential employers, friends-of-friends and other loose acquaintances

I genuinely care about what they think of me for its own sake: close friends, family

Post: #23

I think guys are confusing a few things here.

Caring about what people think of you so you can gain from them is not the same as caring what people think of you because you want their affection.

So for the guys who say they care about their workplace reputation: No, you actually don't, you just care about making money so you play the reputation game.

Likewise for myself I pretty much only care about what others think about me insomuch it gets me what I want, I use rep to manipulate others. Not even my family or close friend's opinions affect me anymore. To the extent that I do care about their affection is related to serious moral wrongs: Theft, murder, rape, etc. I would never want my friends/family to know about any serious crimes I committed, I'd be ashamed of myself.

But for the vast majority of things, I find people's opinions amusing at best and annoying at worst.

Post: #24

Post: #25

This has been a drain on my life for the last few years. I couldnt give two shits what some random off the street thinks. But in my peer group, how i am perceived is far too important to me.

The whole thing is completely poisonous/toxic to be worrying about it. I wish i could switch it off. Too big of an ego.

Shits seriously ruining my enjoyment in life.