Post: #1

I'm really bad at not knowing what to do with my hands in scenarios such as when sitting down at a table at a bar/restaurant and chatting to someone. Or even when I'm talking to someone while standing but I am not holding anything and not leaning on anything. Anyone else like this?

Post: #2

You're overthinking it.

Just get comfortable.

You can try to optimize your body language by doing many things. But sometimes you just have to keep it simple.

Post: #3

Talk with your hands like Italians and Greeks.

or

Use one hand to point at fat girls and the other to cover your mouth when you laugh

Post: #4

This is why a lot of guys smoke.

Post: #5

You are not comfortable in your own skin. Keep improving yourself. You will get more comfortable.

Study the fundamentals of body language. Learn from other guys.

I do 2 things with my hands depending on the location and my mood.

1) Nothing -- I just sit or stand comfortably and rest my hands. This is around guys, or girls that I don't care to impress.

2) Talk with my hands -- I use my hands to be expressive and to put on a show. I touch people, etc. This is when I want to display my charisma.

Study #2

Don't be jumpy or nervous. Better to not move all then to move like a retard. Slower movements are usually better. Learn body language basics.

Post: #6

^^^ Don't be afraid to be expansive with your hands and arms. Take up space and move with eagerness and intention.

If you can't carry that off, be dead still. I learned from stage acting that people can be doing all kinds of crazy things around you, but the audience will be drawn to watch the guy who doesn't move a muscle. It creates dramatic tension. You transition out of it by making studied, slow movements, not whirling like a dervish suddenly.

Post: #7

(08-13-2013 01:28 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  Talk with your hands like Italians and Greeks.

or

Use one hand to point at fat girls and the other to cover your mouth when you laugh

New sig.

Post: #8

Post: #9

A few ideas:









In summary:
Keep your hands out of your pockets. Don't be afraid to point at your crotch, or her crotch.

Post: #10

Doesn't matter. If your mind is right you can be picking your nose and she will still like you.
However, when sitting I just rest my hands on the armrest. Like Pacino here:



Similarly:



(Ok maybe wouldn't cross my legs like this..)

For a not-so-good example click this link: http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/still/t...-wbp05.jpg

When standing, I like to have my hands hanging free touching my thighs or having the thumbs in my pockets (like James Dean above), just because I can gesticulate and touch her more easily. Exception: -10 degrees outside.

Btw. if you're the type of guy for such things, I suggest you check out some acting manuals. There's some neat tricks how to get such stuff out of your head and focus your attention outside yourself.

Post: #11

Touch my balls.

Jokes aside, your best bet is to just talk with your hands but don't do it too much as you'll probably look "Fresh of the boat" doing it.

Hope that helped.

Post: #12

(08-13-2013 01:11 PM)ravzanpat123 Wrote:  I'm really bad at not knowing what to do with my hands in scenarios such as when sitting down at a table at a bar/restaurant and chatting to someone. Or even when I'm talking to someone while standing but I am not holding anything and not leaning on anything. Anyone else like this?

When sitting at the bar, I generally rest one hand on the bar and let the other rest on my leg or to the side. I think about keeping my shoulders back and posture open. Don't over do it, but I find that when my core posture is solid I'm less unsure about where my arms should be. Keep elbows off the bar though.

Table... I'm not sure I tend to think less about it, but I'd say whatever posture used at the bar just use the same mentality at a table.

When standing, it's best to be open and expressive as others mentioned. But personally when I was feeling awkward about my hand placement, I take one hand and slipped the tips of my fingers into the pocket, about to the knuckles leaving the rest of the hand and the thumb exposed. It's comfortable but looks less like a slumpy beta. And again, core posture makes a big difference.

Post: #13

Just keep your arms hanging, if you know for fidgeting, put your thumb on your index finger. This tends to help.