Post: #1

This girl told me she was in a "controlling" relationship before... I didn't know how bad until the other night when we got into my car and she immediately changed the radio station.

I said hey, "you don't just jump in here and start screwing with the controls... especially the radio" -- I was had a big smile and was pretty sure it was all good -- she more or less laughed at it then too.

By the end of a 20 minute drive, she was apologizing over and over... her friend (in the back seat), even told her it was ok and he (meaning me) was joking. Friend leaves, we have a great makeout session)

Next day, she texts me saying I probably hate her and she is so sorry.

I tell her it was a joke.. all is fine.

But, she's pulled back - big time -- I'm assuming I hit a bit of a sensitive spot with her and he "controlled" past.


Do, I ...
a) try to apologize somehow further? maybe let her know I don't know how bad her past "controlling" bf was

b) let it go and basically forget about her (or have that attitude with it)

c) other idea? (I've tried to shrug it off the day after, but suggesting a simple get together but was met with "hesitation").


I realize she's possibly 'damaged goods' from being this sensitive to a joke.. but hey, she's also very, very hot. lol.

Thanks guys!

Post: #2

Hehe if she is looking for your approval, just be cool, and dont make a big issue out of it, sounds like dmg goods, but if your not looking for her as your GF who cares, dont compensate or apologize or anything, you didnt do anything, so dont start freaking out and changing your behaivour to whatever twisted frame she is living in.

Post: #3

"Next day, she texts me saying I probably hate her and she is so sorry."

I would have not replied and just not brought the subject up again. you dont want her to pull you into her mind-games.

"a) try to apologize somehow further? maybe let her know I don't know how bad her past "controlling" bf was"

Never apologize if it was not your fault. dude, she trying to guilt trip you. people use guilt to control other, when she told you she was in a "controlling" relationship that should have been a red flag...you only heard one side of the story, from what it seems i.e. from her actions, it appears that she is the one who is controlling too...stop reacting to her head-games, just ignore her guilt trips and if she brings it up again look at her as if she is crazy to bring up something that frivolous.

you care too much about how she feels and thinks about you, stop!

Post: #4

metal you study in psychology? because that was f*cking spot-on.

Post: #5

We haven't talked since Saturday when she first said "sorry" and I told her (again) it was a joke...

Let sleeping dogs lie?
..Or maybe toss a quick "how was your weekend" text to her Monday maybe?

I don't want to push the issue, but would also hate passing on opportunity!
(I've still got a lot to learn with all this, so when some exciting prospects come along, it's nice to experience them!)

Post: #6

My 2 cents...


This girl either has low self esteem or can not conversationalize...this subject should of been closed down...you may have to probe find out if her man was a "beater".....

Post: #7

I've been wondering about the 'beater' part.. which has a part of me thinking a quick "hey, sorry if it touched a nerve on a history of something else".

She presents quite well in looks, intellect and everything else... great chemistry between us, etc...
Rest assured, I'm not suffering "one-itus", but it is an opportunity I would like to at least explore further -- the game I've been running, however, has always had me just walk away from this behavior as opposed to getting to a point of actually starting to 'care' a little bit.

Post: #8

Sounds like super low self esteem

Post: #9

You should have stood your ground.

Girls with issues blow you a lot better than girls without.

If you can get her back out with you, get mad at her for something else. It's obvious that she likes that kind of thing, so run with it.

Aloha!