Post: #1

Here's the deal. I've been in and out of the game for the last couple years. Right now I'm living in Nicaragua, for all intents and purposes I'm single again, and so I'm starting to do more approaches and getting back into the swing of things.

Tonight I approached a beautiful hb9 Nicaraguan girl, 21 years old (I'm 36) and her friend. They were sitting outside at a restaurant. I just walked up , sat down and started talking with the hb9. Great chemistry, kino etc for about an hour. We conversed in Spanish for what it's worth. Ive been down here two years and so my spanish is decent.

Anway after about an hour or so I got the hb9s number and email, hung out for a few minutes more, they then invited me to go to another club with them, i was planning on it, but then after a few more minutes of hanging out, i felt the vibe start to shift. They were making phone calls, a couple other male friends showed up and the whole mood just seemed to shift dramatically, so I decided to call it a night and take off.

What I'm curious to know is how other guys deal with situations when everything seems to be going great and then the mood shifts for whatever reason, whether someone else comes into the set, you run out of shit to talk about, or whatever.... Do you gracefully make an exit, as I did... or do you plow through and try to get the mood back up again. I like to leave things on a high note but I also can't help but feeling like maybe things could have progressed much further had I not bailed so soon.

In situations like this should you stay or should you go? Is it better to leave on a high note or simply plow through and get the state elevated again. At what point is it better to just walk away?

Thanks for your thoughts and feedback.

Post: #2

One time at a concert I started dancing with a girl and making out with her before knowing her name.

Then she introduced me to all her friends.

What I did was start talking to all of them, joking around, getting to know them and ignoring the girl I'd made out with.

Worked like a charm. Though her friends were cool and funny as well, so it made the job easier. If it's a dramatic shift you can't control, duck out, but if you can handle the sitaution, showing yourself to be in command of a new group of people can be a huge turn on for girls.

Post: #3

An update:

So this girl texted me this morning wanting to get together today. We're meeting up this afternoon. Sometimes I think I way overthink this stuff....

Post: #4

No you did the right thing, it sounds technical but you would had lost value just choding around while she and her friends were having fun. I see that early eject as a push pull.

Post: #5

he could have made friends with her friends and increased his value. but ejecting is the next best option lol

(09-26-2010 03:07 PM)LÉtranger Wrote:  No you did the right thing, it sounds technical but you would had lost value just choding around while she and her friends were having fun. I see that early eject as a push pull.

Post: #6

Good call, I think its better to leave while things are still going good.

Post: #7

So another quick update:
I went out with this girl yesterday and things went great. We went to drink wine at a place right down the street from where I live. We talked for a bit, had a couple glasses of wine and then I challenged her to an arm wrestling match, I said if I win you have to kiss me, if you win I have to kiss you. Of course I won so she kissed me on the cheek. Then we played a few more silly games like thumb wrestling, rock paper scissors, anything I could think of and every time I won had her kiss me, by about the fourth or fifth game we were making out. Then we ran out of games to play so we just ended up making out for a while.

After that I suggested we go back to my place to watch a movie. She declined and suggested we just walk to a nearby park. SO we did. We sat and talked for about fifteen minutes and then I asked her again if she wanted to go watch a movie and she said yes!

Anyway, went back to my place, watched part of a movie, started making out and eventually ended up on my bed. THings got pretty steamy. We didn't have sex, which honestly I'm fine with. I really don't mind waiting a couple dates. Actually kind of prefer it to be honest.

But all in all a great day. I texted her this morning and she texted right back that she had a great time. We have plans for next weekend.

Thanks for your support.

Post: #8

If you didn't leave you would have been friended. When I have other girls going I just keep a strong frame and social circle the girls that do this. Having cute girls around gets you into things.

But don't overthink, if you're a gringo you can't do much wrong, she already wants you.

Post: #9

Awesome! Told you man, she loves the gringo.

(09-27-2010 02:56 PM)urbrock Wrote:  I really don't mind waiting a couple dates. Actually kind of prefer it to be honest.

I'm the same way. No reason to rush, you know?

Post: #10

yea, that's a good point feomuerto but another factor in all of this though is that everyone she was hanging out with was speaking spanish and although I can converse pretty well one on one in spanish in larger group settings I have a harder time following along. oh well, all's well that ends well and things seem to be pretty on now and ironically their whole group ended up just going home and not going out anyway. Apparently she didn't really want to go out with the guys who showed up, i just kind of misread the situation....

Post: #11

(09-27-2010 03:03 PM)urbrock Wrote:  yea, that's a good point feomuerto but another factor in all of this though is that everyone she was hanging out with was speaking spanish and although I can converse pretty well one on one in spanish in larger group settings I have a harder time following along. oh well, all's well that ends well and things seem to be pretty on now and ironically their whole group ended up just going home and not going out anyway. Apparently she didn't really want to go out with the guys who showed up, i just kind of misread the situation....

Like it was said earlier, she already likes you so you pretty much would've had to done somthing extremely stupid to mess it up. Still, I'm a firm believer that less is more. Chat a bit, get the number/e-mail, say a friendly/witty goodbye and leave! No 1 hour conversations, etc! It comes across as needy and as if you don't other things to do. No women likes a man that's too available, I don't care what country you're in! And since we're all using the "I'm and American!" angle, to appear to have other things on your agenda and about your business is part of the look!

Post: #12

Ok so another update on this chick:

After what seemed like a pretty freaking solid D2, see above, this chick actually has the nerve to flake on ME this past weekend with no call or text. WTF?

Here's the deal. At the end of this last D2 (a week ago yesterday) she says she wanted to come see me play guitar this past Friday. I say cool Friday it is. I play guitar two nights a week where I'm living in Nicaragua. So I say cool I'll see you then.

Then I text once this past Monday and say I had a good time, she texts back right away and says she did too. Then later on Monday night she texts me saying she's going to come on Sat instead of Friday, I say "Sabado esta bien, quiero verte".. we text back and forth a couple times, silly light stuff about making out....

Anyway, so the week goes by and I don't call or text since we've already established plans, then this past Sat I text her to confirm she's still coming, no response, I wait about 5 hours then I try calling her, voicemail... She doesn't come, she doesn't call, she doesn't text.... WHo the fuck does this chick think she is?

Any analysis is welcome. On one hand, fuck her is my attitude, plenty of other hot chicks down here. But on the other hand, she is really freakng hot and I want her and if there was a way to have played this better, I'd be open to hearing what you Cassanova's have to say!

DO you think I should have called or texted more. That's my only thought on what I could have done differently. I'm doing all this in Spanish which is harder for me to come across as witty and funny in given that I am definitely not totally fluent in Spanish. It's like adding a whole other layer to the game. It's like one hand it's easier down here as a gringo but on the other hand the language barrier can make it harder.

I'm listening...

Oh by the way, just one caveat. This girl lives about an hour away from me down here, which makes getting together logistically a little trickier. I was looking forward to having her come to me.... and she offered...

Post: #13

Urbrock,, I feel for ya! it sucks totally, get your hopes up high and voila. I make the same mistakes, but when I have 2 girls going on the side, with work and my normal life I'm busy for their texts etc... and the girls get jealous cuz you ain't giving them any time. Here's what I do to counter flakey behaviour..

1. I don't text her back after the first date etc, ohh I had a good time etc..
2. I say less than her if she texts me.
3. I make plans with other friends and girls when I'm actually thinking of taking her out.. of course, I tell my friends what the deal is...

This ain't 100% fullproof, but at least you won't sound needy etc...

Well lesson learned. Why don't you text her back and invite her to some hotel resort for a weekend that she might really dig, and the day she is supposed to come, cancel on her.... Karma is a bitch.

Post: #14

Just take your time man. She's already in the pocket. Just keep a couple other girls around for when she flakes on you. Have a backup.

Post: #15

Yea, i think this chick is a lost cause. I texted her one more time and still no response. I've moved on. I was was inspired by the idea of contacting girls online in the Bang Colombia book so a couple days ago I emailed like twenty girs on facebook per the Bang Colombia ebook and two girls got in touch with me interested in meeting up and I went out tonight and got another phone number. So that's where I'm at. Hopefully I'll have some more great material to post soon.

Post: #16

Yes, continue the hunt! Never rely on just one girl. To be honest, I don't even recommend relying on one girl even if you have a steady girlfriend! Unless you are engaged to be married or married, you should always keep your options secretly open as well as have back ups. I'm not just talking sexual back ups either. I'm talking girls that would/could actually make girlfriend material backups!

Post: #17

If a girl flakes but acted interested before, she'll feel guilty and avoid you to avoid feeling bad and any potentiak confrontation

Best policy in that case would be to wait a couple of days, the write something along the lines of:

"Already playing-hard-to-get? Nice! Write me." It's weak, I admit, but on other hand you're making light of her bad behavior, so she can feel better that she hasn't made an enemy of you (which she has from your posts - you're clearly irritated and she'll never want to talk to you again because she's trying avoid that). i'd say that line works 50% of time, and if you've already had a steamy session with her, chances are better.

For future reference, I've learned the way to punish behavior you don't like that is to act uninterested, not irritated. Irritation is weakness. Almost as if anything she does to displease you makes her fade in your mind, and is something you can't control - you're not mad, but if she flakes, you forget about it and her. Sort of like if you had the attention-span of a toddler. Imagine a fat girl asks for your number, you give it to her, and she calls next day asking for a date. You avoid her. If she gets mad and calls you out, you'd think she was retarded.

Post: #18

(10-04-2010 12:38 PM)urbrock Wrote:  DO you think I should have called or texted more. That's my only thought on what I could have done differently.

You are new to Game right? "Less is more". Always. That neediness was probably what killed attraction.

(10-04-2010 12:38 PM)urbrock Wrote:  I'm doing all this in Spanish which is harder for me to come across as witty and funny in given that I am definitely not totally fluent in Spanish. It's like adding a whole other layer to the game.

Thats one way of seeing it. On the other hand, you could be the mysterious stranger that doesn't talk much but makes her feel extremely self-conscious when he looks deep into her eyes.

Post: #19

@ leatrenger
it's funny, i ran this by a couple of the local girls here and they all seemed to think I should have done a lot more, that the girls here expect it, it's part of the culture.... I dunno but yea maybe letting her I know I had a good time was a real turn off. Expressing honest interest is so low value and needy,blah blah blah.

Post: #20

Usually, don't take advice from women on women. Women don't know what women want.

What makes them agonize over you, mention you in every single conversation with her friends, and analyze for hours on end why you didnt' call or text her the day after sex, is being mysterious, difficult, perhaps obnoxious, but irresistably charming.