Post: #1

As an immigrant, I am struggling both in dating (still learning the culture and language) and business world (just like any other entrepreneurs)

I find lots of similarity between dating and running a business.

It's basically about winning her (customer's) heart, right?

This is the analogy that really struck my head couple days ago.
It will relate to you if you are a minority, just average guy or a business owner.

The frustration comes from Business when you have a decent product (you have loyal customers who love it) and you just want to make a living out of it, you are not trying to be a millionaire. But there are not enough supporters for you to keep it going. You want to ask what's wrong with my business?

The frustration comes from Dating when you are a decent guy (you have people talking good things about you) and you just want to find a girl in your class, you are not trying to score a high valued girl. But you just don't get enough interests from girls you think you deserve.
You want to ask what's wrong with me?

I went to the festival as a vendor. My menu was Boba.
Nobody was going to sell it. It was unique. Unlike some cheap plain lemonade, I put real ingredients like fresh raspberries and mango plus tapioca balls.
Because it was such unique item with quality ingredients, I thought it would do well. It went terrible. Meanwhile, I had to watch people walking around with some lemonade or Snowie garbage (just ice and syrup on top)

I felt I Deserved more customers since my drink was better by common standard. I felt Betrayed. I felt not being Respected.
When I saw those people walking around with those 'craps', I felt like a nice guy watching his crush leaving with some douche bag.

I wanted to say 'you and your friends know, my drink is better quality than those lemonade or snowie, how come you are not buying mine?'
('you know I am a good guy. the whole school knows he is a jerk. why are you going out on a date with him?')

Basically, I was frustrated just like a nice guy in a dating world.

But I couldn't just blame the customer. If they are walking away with Snowies, there must be something that's more interesting than my product. I had to analyze the situation without just bitching about it like 'you guys are stupid' ('you are a stupid slut' in dating)

First reason was that people weren't familiar with Boba. (90% white state. white crowds know boba usually through their asian friends)
They just didn't know what to expect. They were afraid of spending even several dollars. It was better for them just to go with something they already knew.
(If you are a minority, this is your biggest hurdle. Remember, you will be hesitant to try the new business you don't know because you don't want to waste even several dollars. Do you think people will take such huge risk on a person?

Snowie is just perfect for festival environment on a hot sunny day. Although it's such a cheap, low quality treats, it fits better in that kind of environment. I was basically trying to sell a wine at the rave or rock concert. nobody will give a damn. they would rather grab a Bud over a fine wine even at the same price.

For a game, you need to go to the right environment.
If you are a professional white collar guy in a hip hop club or hipster bar, you wouldn't probably do well with women there.
You might say 'Oh I am dressed better than these guys, I have nicer pad, I can take her to nicer restaurants yada yada' (like I said my product is better than Snowie)
But they will rather go home with this guy who works at factory assembly line but has 'Swag'.
Those jersey shore guys at clubs are like Snowie. I admit they are more fun than average guys.

You can't control their tastes or preferences.
If the customer is just not interested in your product, you can't change their mind by bending over for them.
The person who were interested, picked it up without a question. they even said it was so cheap. People who weren't interested didn't care when I offered them a better deal.
Some people will just appreciate you or your product just as it is.
Some people will even appreciate you selling it
'thank you so much for nice boba' OR 'thank you so much for talking to me'

If a girl is not interested in you, you can shower her with flowers and gifts but as you know it won't change her mind. Maybe you Could keep their attentions little by offering it way cheap (doing real beta things in dating to keep her) but they won't truly appreciate it and they won't stick around for a while. It's not worth to keep them anyways (customers who only shows up for 50% off, girls who only come out for a free dinner)

When you think you get less than you deserve, you need to analyze the situation. Obviously, you need to always look at the product first. But it could be other things unrelated to the products or things you can't even control.

And remember, you can't really ask customers 'did you like it?'. Most of them will just say 'yeah it was good'. You know you did right only when they Come Back.
(You can't ask a girl who went radio silence 'what did I do wrong?'
You know you did right only when they answers for 2nd date)

I hope my analogy is not too weird but this goes through my head daily basis as a guy trying to make it in America and trying to make it in a dating scene. (minority in white dominant culture)

Post: #2

The boba truck in los angeles does really well, but i still think $5 for boba milk tea is too much, and the popcorn chicken is greasy.

It's just tapioca, sugar, milk and ice, right? I think there is definitely demand for boba milk tea, not just in big cities like los angeles. the restaurant industry is brutal, good luck.(i am white, I like boba tea, but only once in a great while, i could go and get a gallon of chocolate milk from trader joes for the same price as what it cost for a medium sized boba milk tea. No thank you.)

As for the dating, it sounds like you may not be escalating enough.

Post: #3

Most new business fail because a large number of factors. Marketing, business plan, the service, the product, the users, and sometimes, just plain luck.

Gamins should be no different. As an entrepreneur, resistance to frustration is paramount. But unlike a business, gaming is just that, a game. Money and women are more or less infinite in this world. Time is not. Game women as an sport, as a game. Focus your time for the one and only thing which matters in this world: yourself.

Post: #4

Well I didn't write this to talk about business.

Anyways, you just restated my point. To you, Boba for $5 is a rip off.
If you were a girl I am interested, It's better for me just to ignore her.

Have you had any success with a girl who gives you this kind of attitude 'tell me why I should date you, I get hit on guys like you or even better all the time' ?
Your claim makes senses so does hers

You said Boba truck is doing really well. You might laugh at these people lining up to get ripped off voluntarily. But there must be a reason.
To you, he is just a fat slob. But if he is surrounded by women, shouldn't there be a valid reason?

(07-29-2013 08:33 AM)master_thespian Wrote:  The boba truck in los angeles does really well, but i still think $5 for boba milk tea is too much, and the popcorn chicken is greasy.

It's just tapioca, sugar, milk and ice, right? I think there is definitely demand for boba milk tea, not just in big cities like los angeles. the restaurant industry is brutal, good luck.(i am white, I like boba tea, but only once in a great while, i could go and get a gallon of chocolate milk from trader joes for the same price as what it cost for a medium sized boba milk tea. No thank you.)

As for the dating, it sounds like you may not be escalating enough.

Post: #5

(07-29-2013 03:11 PM)Sebastian Wrote:  Well I didn't write this to talk about business.

Anyways, you just restated my point. To you, Boba for $5 is a rip off.
If you were a girl I am interested, It's better for me just to ignore her.

Have you had any success with a girl who gives you this kind of attitude 'tell me why I should date you, I get hit on guys like you or even better all the time' ?
Your claim makes senses so does hers

If I am constantly having to qualify myself when I make approaches, then my frame is off. It works both ways, I have really high standards and try to get women to qualify themselves to me.

I would probably say, "Since you are being honest with me, I will be honest with you: I approach a lot of women because I am looking for one that can genuinely keep up with me. Most can't. Can you?"

To answer your question of have I successfully dated difficult women with inflated opinions of themselves because they are constantly being told by betas how beautiful they are, then definitely yes, I have. It sometimes seems like those are the only women I date. and I certainly understand why men travel to other countries to meet women who don't have terrible attitudes. The better question is, "why would I want to try to date a woman with a terrible attitude?" Right now, I am in a LTR and am enjoying it, I am dating a woman with a really good attitude.

I say this to anyone who doesn't like dating women with terrible attitudes: find a woman who doesn't get approached all the time like a primary school teacher or a nanny. They are around kids all the time and not going to be getting approached much.


[quote]You said Boba truck is doing really well. You might laugh at these people lining up to get ripped off voluntarily. But there must be a reason.
To you, he is just a fat slob. But if he is surrounded by women, shouldn't there be a valid reason? [quote]


The line for the boba truck is long, it is ridiculous(it is always a very long wait, usually half hour to 45 minutes at lunch time)- I am repeating this because I think you could make money bringing boba to a city that does not have it. There is also a long line for pinks "world famous hot dogs", even though I prefer the ones at costco.

I don't laugh at any of them at all because to them, it is worth it. I do like boba once every few months, certainly not something I would get every day. If you compare it to the $4-5 for a iced latte drink at starbucks, $5 for a boba milk tea doesn't sound so bad.(I don't go to starbucks very often either though)

Post: #6

Let me add another observation. The customers who became loyal, are the ones I didn't do anything special. I just treated them normal and somehow they became a loyal customer.
There were many people I treated extra nice thinking they will definitely be back. But I don't remember any of them coming back.

IMO, it's the same for women. You can just treat her normal and if she is going to stick around, she will stick around. If you think 'I will do this and that so that she will deeply fall in love me', that's wrong.

Nice guys get frustrated and say 'I did this and that for you and you won't love me back?'
But the thing is you did that Voluntarily. Unless that's who you are or you don't expect anything in return, you don't have to go extra nice in many parts of your life.