Post: #1

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I haven't been exclusive with any girl for 6+ years. A little over a month ago I started dating a chick (while also dating, and chasing other chicks). Decided I liked her enough to run an experiment of how a chick acts differently if I got exclusive with her to see her change of behavior.

For the few weeks after agreeing on exclusivity with her everything was still the exact same, fun and easy. She seemed happy about me bringing it up and said she wasn't seeing any other guys at the time.

This chick is outta state for 2 weeks right now visiting home. She sends me a text saying what day she would be back saying "you have permission to do whatever you want, just don't tell me about it".

My immediate assumption is she is fucking other guys out there from a text like that. I eventually got on the phone with her a few days later and asked her what that text was all about.

She said it was because she didn't want to be the girl to nag and make me be exclusive, and that I had all this going for me, funny, sexy, and that I love to hit on girls. I had mentioned to her when we became exclusive I was anxious about being tied down (bad move in general, good for this experiment), and how I am used to being able to hit on whoever I want etc.. we had also had gotten a bit into each other's histories she knows I have dated a multitude of women, different races etc through general conversation. I got around to saying I thought whoever would send that free pass text is fucking other people (not angrily, just matter of factly). She put up a believable denial that did not seem overly defensive or protesting too much.

Is there any angle here other than giving me a free pass because she is fucking other guys?

My short experiment has taught me that the last 6+ years no exclusivity is a righteous path with no waste of drama, time, and energy.

Post: #2

Yup. She's fucking another guy. She probably sent you that text after she did it. It seems like you're stressing to her that you want to be exclusive. Why not mention it once and let it be?
I would just be tell her i am okay with a open relationship.

Think about it dude...if it was the opposite why would you tell her it's okay to see other people? Wouldn't you mention it if you were banging other girls or were at least about to?

I'd at least try to keep her around as part of your harem. Just don't mention other girls. No sense in letting a good girl go who is okay with seeing other people.

Post: #3

+1 cthunder86

Post: #4

(05-27-2013 12:37 PM)CThunder86 Wrote:  I'd at least try to keep her around as part of your harem. Just don't mention other girls. No sense in letting a good girl go who is okay with seeing other people.

Thanks for the reply. The player and logical side of me would like to keep her in the harem or maybe an open relationship.

The cynic inside me says spending time with a chick that tossed our exclusivity agreement out the window after a few weeks then lied about it will I think lower my self-respect not enough for it to be worth it.

I hope my ego loses out and my player side wins out.

Post: #5

Who brought up exclusivity first?

Post: #6

(05-27-2013 01:11 PM)Ensam Wrote:  Who brought up exclusivity first?

About three weeks in I did. She has been the coolest chick I have dated so that was the only reason I considered this experiment at all. I brought up saying I was seeing other girls at the time and didn't want drama to unfold months later if she found out, so I wanted both of us to drop what we had going on and just see each other. She agreed and said she wasn't seeing anyone else. Seemed especially happy I brought it up and wanted to be exclusive.

I asked her what would have happened if I waited a few months to bring up exclusivity and she found out I was banging other girls. She said she would have never talked to me again.

Another fun factoid:
She was only texting me for the first week she has been outta town. After this free pass text I texted back the day after that I was bored of texting long distance and wanted to talk on the phone, I'd rather being doing other things, and that I wouldn't text back until she called. She immediately shit-tested with "text me" "sext me" then a couple hours said she was gonna call me at 8 that night. She called on time, I did not answer to see her reaction. She texted the next night asking what I was doing, then nevermind after I did not respond.

I called her up after these texts, on the call she mentioned how if she didn't text again after I ignored her call that I wouldn't call her back for a week. At that point she was right I wasn't really feeling like putting any effort in what essentially became an out of town harem member. She said if I didn't call her back she wouldn't have talked to me again because she would have been so pissed.

Just goes to show the manipulation even a "cool girl" will go through to get what they want. Makes me not trust any of my instincts of who to bestow exclusivity on when I get older and maybe want to settle down in the distant future.

Post: #7

The less you give freak the more they want you.

Post: #8

(05-27-2013 01:30 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  About three weeks in I did. She has been the coolest chick I have dated so that was the only reason I considered this experiment at all. I brought up saying I was seeing other girls at the time and didn't want drama to unfold months later if she found out, so I wanted both of us to drop what we had going on and just see each other. She agreed and said she wasn't seeing anyone else. Seemed especially happy I brought it up and wanted to be exclusive.

That was your mistake. You have to let a girl chase you into exclusivity. You don't bring up seeing other girls until she does. Then if she gets weird about it you just agree and amplify.

Her: "Are you seeing other women?"
You: "Yes, all of them"

If you want to be exclusive with her wait until she's pushed for exclusivity a few times. A girl with LTR potential will cut off her other guys long before she brings up exclusivity with you. Girls who can sleep with multiple dudes at the same time generally have problems pair bonding and wont make good partners long term.

All women have low self esteem. If a guy is too eager to commit they don't think, "wow finally a guy who sees how great I am", they think, "what kind of loser would want to commit to me so easily?". Live and learn. If you can't get over her lack of commitment then next her. Otherwise just put her back into the rotation.

Post: #9

Thanks for the advice, next girl I think "is the coolest ever", I will definitely be balls deep in 4 other chicks at the same time until she is begging me for exclusivity.

Post: #10

(05-27-2013 01:58 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  Thanks for the advice, next girl I think "is the coolest ever", I will definitely be balls deep in 4 other chicks at the same time until she is begging me for exclusivity.

Exactly. Put in less effort, see other girls, and sooner or later she will mention taking things more seriously.

I have had relationships where I've asked to be exclusive with the girl 1st. Never turns out well.