Post: #1

This has happened to me several times recently where I have the girl back at my place but am unable to seal the deal.

One was a girl who lived in my building complex who I met briefly for the first time, then invited her to hang out a few days later and told her to come find/meet me in my flat (perhaps she figured we were going to rendezvous at my place then head out). At my place, we talked and I was able to do some kino but with no reciprocation from her. Perhaps I should have been more aggressive in this case.

Another time with an online girl I had perfect logistics--we met in person for the first time at a bar within walking distance to my place. We had one round of drinks there. She was displaying interest at the bar, letting me put my arm around her waist, etc. We were even gazing at each other for a good while and she looked at me like she wanted to kiss, but I decided to follow Tuthmosis' first-date recipe and NOT kiss her there to save it for when we were back at my place (here's where I think I could have done differently--maybe just a light, brief makeout then continue the conversation). After the first round of drinks, I got up and told her "let's go" and led her straight to my place without telling her where we were going. However, at my place, her vibe was completely opposite from before--uneasy and sitting with crossed legs facing away from me, etc.


So my question is, is it ever TOO SOON to bring the girl back to your place to seal the deal (because on the flip side, I HAVE brought girls back within 30 minutes of meeting them and scored)?

Would it have been better to have established more of a rapport at the initial meeting place first? (With both girls I had talked to them each at most 20-30 minutes before I brought them back). Or perhaps it would have been better to announce that we were going to my place (in the second situation)?

My rationale behind these actions was that it is better to err on the side of aggression and make the girl make a choice (consent or reject)

Post: #2

No reciprocation from kino is merely an amber light. If she's not actively telling you to stop, or moving away from you, then persist with escalating, and you can bring her round to the idea.

It's never too soon to get a girl back. I try and get them to come round to mine for "a movie" as a 1st date. I can't be bothered wasting my time and money in bars.

Your instinctive rationale was correct. If the girl is not down with getting sexual in a short space of time, then she can easily be replaced with one who is.

Also bear in mind that the more confident and dominant you are, and the higher your all round value becomes, the less you will encounter resistance.

Post: #3

If possible I usually have them quickly pop round mine--without showing them around the flat--so that I just quickly do/grab/change something before we head out.

It's akin to kino-ing early in the date so it's not strange later.

Post: #4

Disagree with Hoodlum: guys have to learn to feel the vibe and pay attention to the mood if they want success.

Of course, you can insist on only spending time with easy sluts, which is probably an excellent strategy - I personally dig girls who need to feel seduced and can't drop their panties with a stranger too fast.

There's a difference between gazing into each other's eyes and stealing a kiss to bringing a girl into a potential rape-situation. With a kiss you seal the attraction, but you still need to build comfort. The girls above didn't feel like you were meant for each other. To be fair, they never actually THINK that. But in the heat of a solid seduction, the girl will be so fraught with anticipation and excitement that her body will screaming at her that you're an excellent mate. This is the combination of comfort and attraction.

After that, you and her body are allies and must work together to switch off her brain so she lets you take her clothes off. It's a switch and a trade. You want her to surrender ALL of her sexual power to you. Would you hand over all power to a stranger? This requires solid trust, which is why you need good salesmanship. Good salesmen can build solid trust out of thin air.

So you can ditch at the first sign of resistance. But consider also working on your trust-building and comfort building skills. It pays off in more way than one.

Post: #5

If she's uncomfortable, it's up to you to fix that. Change the subject, move around, and keep the conversation (and/or drinks) flowing. There are absolutely some girls who will stick by their guns... and by that I mean will not sleep with you on the first, second, third, fourth, fifth date regardless of your game. Rare, but not unheard of.

Post: #6

In this case, you couldn't have foreseen that it would have happened, but it appears that, yes, it is possible to bring her back too early. It's like kino - touching an intimate area too early in the interaction can cause her to clam up. Striking the balance between being cautious with that, yet aggressive enough that you don't miss out on chicks who are going to flake if you don't get them to your place immediately, is a fine art.

Post: #7

(05-27-2013 05:11 AM)ElJefe Wrote:  Disagree with Hoodlum: guys have to learn to feel the vibe and pay attention to the mood if they want success.

Of course, you can insist on only spending time with easy sluts, which is probably an excellent strategy - I personally dig girls who need to feel seduced and can't drop their panties with a stranger too fast.

There's a difference between gazing into each other's eyes and stealing a kiss to bringing a girl into a potential rape-situation. With a kiss you seal the attraction, but you still need to build comfort. The girls above didn't feel like you were meant for each other. To be fair, they never actually THINK that. But in the heat of a solid seduction, the girl will be so fraught with anticipation and excitement that her body will screaming at her that you're an excellent mate. This is the combination of comfort and attraction.

After that, you and her body are allies and must work together to switch off her brain so she lets you take her clothes off. It's a switch and a trade. You want her to surrender ALL of her sexual power to you. Would you hand over all power to a stranger? This requires solid trust, which is why you need good salesmanship. Good salesmen can build solid trust out of thin air.

So you can ditch at the first sign of resistance. But consider also working on your trust-building and comfort building skills. It pays off in more way than one.

I don't disagree with you at all, but it all depends on how much you value the girl you are with.

For a beautiful, sweet, feminine girl, who genuinely interests me intellectually as well as physically, I will happily go through the requisite process to seal the deal.

However, for me, 99% of women in the UK are simply not worth the effort. I cannot be bothered to sit and endure several hours of banal conversation, pretending to be interested in their menial achievements and pandering to their over-inflated egos merely to get my end away with someone I will not want to see again afterwards.

It's a bit of cutthroat attitude admittedly, and not for everyone, but it suits my purposes.

Bear in mind, a lot of "don't give it up very easily" girls become "dropping their panties quickly" sluts the higher your own value relative to theirs.

Post: #8

Hey, Paul Janka and some other guys have the girl meet at their place, "run late", and then keep escalating till she leaves or something happens.

Post: #9

(05-27-2013 05:16 PM)DarkTriad Wrote:  Hey, Paul Janka and some other guys have the girl meet at their place, "run late", and then keep escalating till she leaves or something happens.

Janka wrote that advice while in NYC. NYC is it's own game due to tons of women + huge NYC slut factor.

Is it ever too early to bring a girl back to your place? No, I don't think so. Contrary to what a lot of guys say, spending lots of quality time in an effort to build trust so she'll bang you doesn't really work. Compliment + Cuddle is a shitty strategy.

Fact is, most girls have made up their minds about you within the first 30 minutes. She's already entertained the idea of having sex with you if she's attracted to you.

A far better strategy is to get her back to your place ASAP, and if she accepts then you should know that she's down for being seduced. Women who want "more time" will simply decline going inside of your home. If she's truly a good girl, she won't go inside of your apartment/room.

If she goes inside of your place, then you should go for the bang. Doesn't mean you'll get the bang, though. I've been LMR'd as often as I get the bang. I've had girls on the verge of penetration get up and put their clothes on, I've had girls who've refused to kiss me.

Once she's back at your place, you have to run "apartment game" and "bedroom game," because there are optimal ways to get a girl comfortable with you and in the mood. Keep trying and experimenting till you figure something out.

Post: #10

play solid game and pull the trigger when she's ready. going home early on might raise defenses in girl which slows down the process 10x

Quote:Is it ever too early to bring a girl back to your place? No, I don't think so. Contrary to what a lot of guys say, spending lots of quality time in an effort to build trust so she'll bang you doesn't really work. Compliment + Cuddle is a shitty strategy.

I see it working well but compliment + cuddle combo has nothing to do with comfort/trust.

Quote:After the first round of drinks, I got up and told her "let's go" and led her straight to my place without telling her where we were going. However, at my place, her vibe was completely opposite from before--uneasy and sitting with crossed legs facing away from me, etc.

i think that was wrong move there. trying a big jump from bar chair straight to bed. next time try babystepping. move her around a bit even inside the venue. change locations. create a mini history together. do that until you're in front of your house and it's easy little step to get inside.

you can pull her quickly and fight uphill battle with her cold shoulder or you can do your best outside your house and pull when she's more/less ready [warmed up/interested/excited].

relevant:
/thread-24262-...#pid456144

Post: #11

(05-29-2013 01:37 AM)Samseau Wrote:  Is it ever too early to bring a girl back to your place? No, I don't think so. Contrary to what a lot of guys say, spending lots of quality time in an effort to build trust so she'll bang you doesn't really work. Compliment + Cuddle is a shitty strategy.

What makes you say that? I'm not advocating compliment + cuddling. I'm talking about making her a) laugh or b) impressing her with your depth and personality.

I'm not a very funny guy so I often go for b) where I talk about my Latin American experiences or other adventures, dreams, and so on. Not that I have done anything impressive, but I can phrase it so as to stimulate her imagination.

Which is what I suppose what it's about. Stimulating her imagination makes it easier for her to connect with you and relate to you, but you can also make her laugh from your witty observations or stories. Both is better, and for some reason, this is what builds trust.

Post: #12

I appreciate all the different insights, guys. I think it was a situation where I flipped the switch too early and "scared the cat away." The girl was definitely attracted at first but there was not enough comfort built up yet.

I learned from it though. A few nights ago, I spent some time kino-ing and building up some comfort (although I still can improve on this) through some conversation before bringing the girl back. Once we were back, she was all ready, and the rest was history.

Post: #13

I don't know if there is a such way to change her behavior.
If this is possible, how about when approaching girls?
Can we find our dream girl, come up with a best approach plan possible and shoot down her like a sniper? LOL???

I am saying there are things you can't control...
Is this kind way of thinking BETA?

Post: #14

yes there are times when it is too early. warm the girl up first, bounce around a few venues first, saves having to deal with massive LMR because you had one drink at a bar 10m from home before going for the pull.

Post: #15

A good technique that Krauser put out there was to meet up with a girl and then get her comfortable with visiting your apartment by saying "Let's stop at my place first, I need to drop my bag off and then we'll go to [X]." You're putting a time constraint on the visit, so she shouldn't be uncomfortable with it.

After you get her back to your place, transition to some Wii or XBox Kinect and THEN do kino.

Post: #16

(06-03-2013 09:49 AM)Gallego2006 Wrote:  A good technique that Krauser put out there was to meet up with a girl and then get her comfortable with visiting your apartment by saying "Let's stop at my place first, I need to drop my bag off and then we'll go to [X]." You're putting a time constraint on the visit, so she shouldn't be uncomfortable with it.

After you get her back to your place, transition to some Wii or XBox Kinect and THEN do kino.

This is an excellent strategy, but the goal isn't to get her more comfortable - it's to get her plowed with booze while having an excuse to return to your apartment at the end of the night.