(11-07-2016 08:31 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  Need to get better sleep and psyche myself up more on the ride over.

Sleep is crucial.

I never game when I'm tired.

--

But, what I really want to talk about is "psyching" ourselves up!

When I was a beginner and still battling approach anxiety, I experimented with a lot of different methods to "psyche myself up"..

- light calisthenics to get the blood pumping.





- screaming

I would do stuff like this in my car as I was driving:







- affirmations

"you handsome motherfucker you"

"of course you can get a 19 year old girl"

"you are a fucking beast!"

"I want it and I'm going for it!

"Fuck it!"

- comedy

Listen to it, watch it, read it, feel it absorb it, use it!

- music

Find inspiration and motivation.

I would also take cold showers, drink coffee, warm up with ugly girls, old ladys, etc. Slap myself in the face, beat my chest like a gorilla, use smelling salts.. ANYTHING TO GET MYSELF INTO A TALKATIVE STATE OF MIND!

Take charge of your bio-chemistry!

To Break a Plate

I have a girl who loves me and treats me like a king. She isn't the prettiest or the fittest, but I genuinely enjoy her company and our conversations together. She drives 45 minutes each way to see me at least once a week, and she would do it almost everyday if I allowed her too. She makes me delicious meals and brings me thoughtful gifts, and she's been ramping up the thoughtfulness even more for the past few weeks.

I treat her well, buy her dinner every once in a while, fuck her good, and make her laugh.

I've told her directly, on multiple occasions, that I don't want a serious relationship. I've met on three separate occasions to end it, but she doesn't want to take no for an answer, and I don't really want her to leave, either. She pursues me relentlessly. Although she is a great girl, agreeing to a relationship would be more to appease her than anything else. She has called or texted every day for ~8 months until yesterday. I'm almost positive she's testing me. I've gotten accustomed to her sweet personality and kindness and now she's withdrawing it suddenly to manipulate me emotionally, a tactic that I'm horribly vulnerable to.

I have no choice but to cut her off for good this time. Sucks.

Harley rider here.

I wouldn't EVER be caught dead riding bitch with a woman.

I'd flat out tell her hell no with a laugh.

If you have a bike, go on a ride with her, and LEAD her on the ride or she can sit bitch.

(11-15-2016 01:33 PM)Eddie Winslow Wrote:  To Break a Plate

I have a girl who loves me and treats me like a king. She isn't the prettiest or the fittest, but I genuinely enjoy her company and our conversations together. She drives 45 minutes each way to see me at least once a week, and she would do it almost everyday if I allowed her too. She makes me delicious meals and brings me thoughtful gifts, and she's been ramping up the thoughtfulness even more for the past few weeks.

I treat her well, buy her dinner every once in a while, fuck her good, and make her laugh.

I've told her directly, on multiple occasions, that I don't want a serious relationship. I've met on three separate occasions to end it, but she doesn't want to take no for an answer, and I don't really want her to leave, either. She pursues me relentlessly. Although she is a great girl, agreeing to a relationship would be more to appease her than anything else. She has called or texted every day for ~8 months until yesterday. I'm almost positive she's testing me. I've gotten accustomed to her sweet personality and kindness and now she's withdrawing it suddenly to manipulate me emotionally, a tactic that I'm horribly vulnerable to.

I have no choice but to cut her off for good this time. Sucks.

Maybe. I think you making a decision until you hear from her again or it's been more than a few days is unwise. She could've lost/broken her phone, she could be busy with an emergency, etc...

You'll likely have to stop spinning that plate, but usually they'll cause that themselves, it's rare that you have to fade out on such a solid plate.

Opened this hot bodied mixed girl that had exciting eyes.

Got to talking to her and the mannerisms, way of speaking, and everything else had a strong undercurrent of enormous baggage and a 99% chance of deep psychological issues sprinkled with domestic violence or other abuse filled past.

But, she was hot.

She spoke in ellipses and I could only guess that she wasn't filling in whatever would lead to an entire basketful of crazy that would slay the average man.

But, did I mention she was hot?

Feared for my life and didn't pursue further.

I'm starting to get this theory about how online dating, most especially the swiping apps, really remove the humanity from it all.

People with lives, personalities, stories, families, and all types of potentially interesting and intimate histories just become faces, text, numbers, etc.

I'm not exactly sure how or if this alters one's perception of people in real life, but whenever I use those swiping apps part of me feels cold, dead, and mechanical. It just becomes a matter of "WYB?" and the most trivial of things can sway that decision.

(11-16-2016 07:20 PM)General Stalin Wrote:  I'm starting to get this theory about how online dating, most especially the swiping apps, really remove the humanity from it all.

People with lives, personalities, stories, families, and all types of potentially interesting and intimate histories just become faces, text, numbers, etc.

I'm not exactly sure how or if this alters one's perception of people in real life, but whenever I use those swiping apps part of me feels cold, dead, and mechanical. It just becomes a matter of "WYB?" and the most trivial of things can sway that decision.

That feeling associated with that thought process is partly why I stopped bothering with it a while ago.

That and getting blown out by 5-6s when I can pick up 7-8s with a lot less attitude in person.

(11-16-2016 10:01 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  getting blown out by 5-6s when I can pick up 7-8s with a lot less attitude in person.

That's why I don't do online dating. Zip, zero, zilch, nada, nothing.

Waste of time and stress and energy for me. Not going to waste my time online getting rejected by uggos and landwhales when I can get more attractive women in person.

Makes zero sense.

(11-16-2016 10:30 PM)Unchained Wrote:  

(11-16-2016 10:01 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  getting blown out by 5-6s when I can pick up 7-8s with a lot less attitude in person.

That's why I don't do online dating. Zip, zero, zilch, nada, nothing.

Waste of time and stress and energy for me. Not going to waste my time online getting rejected by uggos and landwhales when I can get more attractive women in person.

Makes zero sense.

To be fair, it depends on the area. I'd be a lot more open to using it to pipeline while visiting another country, which is something I haven't tried.

But picking up locals in a place where I already know decent places to frequent is a lost cause.

Getting into conversations with strangers in real life is far more interesting to me. I need the visual feedback.

Using online dating apps to bang girls is key in certain cities. Some places it's too easy and abundant to game when out in about or going out at night so using online actually sort of gets in the way, but some smaller and cliquier cities where it's more difficult to break into social groups using tinder or whatever else is pretty helpful. For example, I would not recommend relying on night game to get bangs in Boston, but you can clean up on Tinder. I've also heard online dating in NYC is like shooting fish in a barrel.

Don't get me wrong gentlemen if online dating could get me decent looking chicks with relative ease I'd do it.

But it doesn't.

Wanna hear people's opinions on, why some decently attractive girls without severe mental disorders, living in a big city (Paris) in my case, stay sexless or even virgins for a long time. Say your average girl's next door type.

I have my own theories about this but still untested with enough data.

^waiting for the right man? Looking for a fantasy relationship to come along to give it up? Just because they live in a metropolitan area doesn't mean they can't be traditional minded about relationships/family.

I'm shitty at reading signs from women, I think I know the right answer in this case but would like some input. So the 28 year old from last week wants to meet up again and proposed another Fri afternoon date, before she has to pick up her kids. She's divorced but still shares a house with her ex while she's trying to buy a place, she's got two young kids and is the primary caretaker for them, she's been with the guy since she was 19 and only been dating a little while. She doesn't have free time to date much or be in a relationship since she's always taking care of her kids, and hides the fact that she's dating from the ex just to avoid drama with him. She was very warm and affectionate with me on our first date of an hour or so.

Yes, I know that it sounds like a drama-filled mess to get into, but my take on the situation is that she is likely just looking for some fun and affection in the very limited free time she has, and who am I to refuse to give that to her? I agreed to meet up with her tomorrow and invited her to my place again and intend to escalate quickly to hopefully get the bang before she has to leave to get her kids.

So what is your question? Sounds straight forward. Whatever her circumstances are, she was warm and affectionate with you on your first date, and she wants to meet up again. Things can only really go further from there. Go for the notch my man.

That one is easy RunsWithScissors. However, I'm not sure if I'd exactly believe her story about being divorced but still sharing the house with the Ex. My bet is that she isn't even divorced yet but is dipping her toe in the water to test her Sexual Market Value. She wants to see what she can get before she leaves the guy. Use to your advantage

General Stalin Wrote:So what is your question?

Just looking for another perspective interpreting this chicks behavior, it's weird to me that she wants to keep meeting up for 1.5 hours on a Fri afternoon before going home to kids and ex-husband. Turnus may well be onto something.

Edit: She just replied saying my invitation to meet at my place Fri afternoon "Sounds perfect ". Game on.

(11-16-2016 10:30 PM)Unchained Wrote:  

(11-16-2016 10:01 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  getting blown out by 5-6s when I can pick up 7-8s with a lot less attitude in person.

That's why I don't do online dating. Zip, zero, zilch, nada, nothing.

Waste of time and stress and energy for me. Not going to waste my time online getting rejected by uggos and landwhales when I can get more attractive women in person.

Makes zero sense.

Your reply makes no sense.

Why wouldn't you be talking to 7.5s and higher only? Takes me like 5 minutes a day, honestly and I get 100s of numbers and dozens of dates.

Sounds like you may need to up your text game. Of course if you're closing 9s in person then I wouldn't waste time either.

(11-16-2016 10:30 PM)Unchained Wrote:  

(11-16-2016 10:01 PM)philosophical_recovery Wrote:  getting blown out by 5-6s when I can pick up 7-8s with a lot less attitude in person.

That's why I don't do online dating. Zip, zero, zilch, nada, nothing.

Waste of time and stress and energy for me. Not going to waste my time online getting rejected by uggos and landwhales when I can get more attractive women in person.

Makes zero sense.

Unchained you mentioned before:

Quote:Yeah so cal sucks. I'm a young black dude in LA and can't wait to get the fuck out. This place seriously fucking sucks for most men.

and

Quote: I'm trying to get a remote job in a year or so and relocate out of shitty so cal to a place where it's easier to date/get laid and the cost of living is better.

While I agree the cost of living is high, the amount of women aren't, and I disagree that it makes zero sense.


So I have to ask Unchained - which one is it ?


Are you pulling a decent amount of women in person ?

or

Does SoCal sucks for men and it's difficult for you to game women here ?


I'm thinking it's not the location - but your game. I can tell by the frustration in just those 2 posts right there.

This is NOT an attack of you - I'm just seeing things from the outside here.


I think SoCal is a pussy paradise if your game is on lock.


Online apps actually reduces time, you already know there's at least a physical attraction to you (goes double for Bumble).

It's way easier to screen girls and they're like a dime a doze - and you don't have to leave your bed or the shitter.

I don't see how it's possible to get blown our rejected - it's now out a point where I don't give a fuck if a girl unmatches or doesn't respond to me.


Why ? Because I've got an assload more girls to reach out to.

Sure I've got some dud dates, been friend zoned once (literally), or walked out of a date, but shit that can happen on an in person approach after the initial number close and on the first date.


Text game and screening IS key online, but once you get the rythm going it's an absolute gold mine being able to smash out girls on the regular.

I smashed 3 girls in less than 5 days, all solely due to Bumble, about a week and a half ago.

I've also got a few plates going, and a few booty calls I can ring up.


It's not hard, but you have to be willing to learn and try and fail.


The Tinder App thread is where it's at if you want to learn your texting game, matter of fact I'm helping out a friend across states on how to learn to pick up girls online.

I'd love to help you if you're willing to try it again.

My mission on here is to give back to this forum to any guy that needs help.

I said it makes zero sense for ME to use online game. I'm dark skinned, facially average to below average, non-photogenic, and below average height. Online game sucks for me. I've followed a bunch of manosphere approved online game blueprints and none have worked. I'm a short, not handsome, dark ass dude. Online is all about looks. You do the math.

Online SUCKS for me. It's literally a waste. I already explained it dude. Why the fuck would I waste time online to get rejected by ugly women and fatties when I can get decent chicks just by walking down the street?!?! How the fuck is my text game weak??!? Do y'all know what you're talking about? For me to use text game I'd have to get responses or swipes in the first place. I'm not pulling attractive women online to even get to the point of conversation. I'm being filtered out by my looks before I have the chance to use "game" so why bother?

You can use online game all you want if it works for you but it doesn't work for me and I don't give a fuck about it. I don't give a fuck how other guys get laid. I care how I get laid. If online works for you or other men more power to ya. Maybe I'll revisit it but now I'm not.

I can get chicks in real life. My regular game is good. I can walk down the street any other weekend, cold approach and pull girls home. I have no problem talking to gorgeous women. I might not pull every weekend but when I decide to go hunting I am almost guaranteed at least some numbers if not a makeout or two. If I go out 8-12 days a month I can realistically get a 2 girls home for sex. Strictly cold approach. I go out and get girls off cold approach and you telling me my game is a problem?? lol...

And I do believe for most men that LA sucks compared to a lot places and cities in the US. I'd rather go to a tier 2 city, pay half the rent, have a way better set up, and deal with better women than be in LA. LA is good if you carve a niche or if you're good looking (anywhere is good if you're good looking). Otherwise not the best. Many LA posters on this forum have talked about the downsides of LA.

(11-17-2016 07:45 PM)Unchained Wrote:  I said it makes zero sense for ME to use online game. I'm dark skinned, facially average to below average, non-photogenic, and below average height. Online game sucks for me. I've followed a bunch of manosphere approved online game blueprints and none have worked. I'm a short, not handsome, dark ass dude. Online is all about looks. You do the math.

There's alot of negatives in this man - why would you think of yourself like that. I don't believe for a second you are.

How many apps have you tried ? How long did you try it for ?

Quote:Online SUCKS for me. It's literally a waste. I already explained it dude. Why the fuck would I waste time online to get rejected by ugly women and fatties when I can get decent chicks just by walking down the street?!?!

I don't get how you're literally getting rejected ?

There's no need to yell, I'm just trying to get information from you and feedback.

You talk about getting decent chicks, but with your negative attitude about yourself ?

Okay have you pulled much walking down the street ? Some stats would be nice, if that's your niche, that's great.

Quote:How the fuck is my text game weak??!? Do y'all know what you're talking about? For me to use text game I'd have to get responses or swipes in the first place. I'm not pulling attractive women online to even get to the point of conversation. I'm being filtered out by my looks before I have the chance to use "game" so why bother?

Yeah I'd say I'm pretty experienced and know what I'm talking about.

I'm not saying your text game is tweak, I'm suggesting some tweaks might help.

You're right you'd need to get responses first, maybe professional photos (it's a life investment in general) perhaps changing your bio, etc.

Quote:You can use online game all you want if it works for you but it doesn't work for me and I don't give a fuck about it. I don't give a fuck how other guys get laid. I care how I get laid. If online works for you or other men more power to ya. Maybe I'll revisit it but now I'm not.

That's absolutely fine, I'm saying it's not a waste of time IN GENERAL not specifically for you, I just think generalizing it like that to everyone is the wrong approach.

Quote:I can get chicks in real life. My regular game is good. I can walk down the street any other weekend, cold approach and pull girls home. I have no problem talking to gorgeous women. I might not pull every weekend but when I decide to go hunting I am almost guaranteed at least some numbers if not a makeout or two. If I go out 8-12 days a month I can realistically get a 2 girls home for sex. Strictly cold approach. I go out and get girls off cold approach and you telling me my game is a problem?? lol...

Okay great so we have some stats so you pull about 24 girls a year, pretty damn good.

But see what undermines your comment is your first comment as seeing yourself so negative - and like I said, if you're pulling that many girls, then I don't believe you being a dark skinned brotha who is below average looks, or that short at all. I think you need to get rid of that image of you in your head.

Hell I think I'm average and short.

Quote:And I do believe for most men that LA sucks compared to a lot places and cities in the US. I'd rather go to a tier 2 city, pay half the rent, have a way better set up, and deal with better women than be in LA. LA is good if you carve a niche or if you're good looking (anywhere is good if you're good looking). Otherwise not the best. Many LA posters on this forum have talked about the downsides of LA.

You moving is absolutely fine, and not dealing with LA women is fine.

When I talked about game, I specifically talked about ONLINE game, not in person game.

There are pros and cons to everything, we all approach game and girls differently and I respect that man. I'm just trying to pick your brain and understand your POV, there's no need to yell at me.

I wasn't yelling just trying to get my point across. I was saying online game is a waste of time for me. I even quoted the other guy talking about how he doesn't use online. Why would you think I was talking about online in general when it was a pretty clear context?

I don't doubt many guys get laid online. Good for them.

For ME it's a waste of time. I've used tinder, pof, okc and never got quality. I could have the best "text game" on the planet and it wouldn't matter if I'm not getting swipes or responses in the first place. I personally don't care for online game due to years of experience showing me its a waste.

I'm not attacking it for other dudes. You're sitting here telling me I need to work on my "game" cuz I don't do online when I can pull girls in real life of course I'm gonna take offense to that. In.years of experience online I literally can't get messages from fatties let alone hot chicks but in real life I can get hot chicks. So you tell me logically why the hell would I do online to deal with lower quality women??

Does that make sense to you? Of course not! So now can you understand my incredulous response to you telling me I need to work on my online game??

(11-17-2016 09:32 PM)Unchained Wrote:  So you tell me logically why the hell would I do online to deal with lower quality women??

We've already agree on that, if it doesn't work,then don't do it, it's simple.

Quote:Does that make sense to you? Of course not! So now can you understand my incredulous response to you telling me I need to work on my online game??

You can knock off the condescending tone, after all I'm trying to understand where you're coming from.

The reason I reached out is because I've seen countless guys on the online dating app threads who get discouraged or used reasons like "below average" "not photogenic" etc.

Members have helped them out and they've succeeded eventually.

Quote: I'm dark skinned, facially average to below average, non-photogenic, and below average height. I'm a short, not handsome, dark ass dude. Online is all about looks. You do the math.

I still think you should look inside yourself and realize you aren't sub par and are decent looking - how you describe yourself sounds self sabotaging. I'm trying to make you realize you're better than that dude.

yeah I get you kaotic

my bad. my mind is going a couple different directions right now. thanks for the advice/positive words.

I can see where Unchained is coming from. Online game works but you need to at least conform to the stereotypical beauty standards. As a short Asian I don't even bother. Tried tinder okc before, nothing worked. It's like the French at Waterloo: a very skilled professional army but fighting not on their terms and get ass fucked