Post: #1

Finished reading Joe Navarro's "What Every Body is Saying", a book on body language and how to use it to read people as well as display yourself.

I found some concepts pretty useful for gaming or to improve your ability to impress others/ know their intentions so here are some points I think might be helpful:

- Feet are the most "honest" body part. The direction of someone's feet tell you if they feel oriented towards you or would like to literally walk somewhere else (direction of feet point out where they want to be). If, for example, you interject in a two-people-conversation they will turn towards you with their feet if they want to include you but only turn their upper bodies if not.
Feet that point inwards or wrap themselves around a chair leg signal nervosity. Standing cross-legged is a dangerous position (easy to throw you off balance) so it signals you are either comfortable with the person you are with or you deem them to be no threat (good way to appear aloof and project high value).

- Women touching the front of their neck or playing with jewelry are uncomfortable, feel threatened. The same is true for holding books or other items in front of the torso. Men prefer to cross their arms in these situations.

- When people deny knowledge of something they often can be caught lying if they only raise one shoulder in their gesturing. True, subconscious "I don't know" is usually signaled by raising both shoulders and making a facial expression.

- Pointing feet or arms/ thumbs upwards signals self-confidence and happiness. This can be done very subtly by standing with your hands to the side of the body but thumbs pointing up, holding a glass with the thumb up etc. The opposite signal is someone hiding his thumbs in his pockets with the hand hanging out.

- One of the strongest gestures of dominance and self-confidence is forming a "roof" with your hands while mulling things over or sitting in a meeting. The fingertips touch each other pointing upwards almost like praying hands but without the bases of the hands touching.

- The well-established signs of standing straight, not hiding your hands, keeping your chin up etc. are some of the strongest indicators of confidence and high value.


Maybe some of this stuff is already well-known in the game community but a few nuggets were new to me (the roof hands, feet as prime indicators).

Post: #2

This Ted talk was interesting




There was another 2hour long documentary that examines body language with popular figures of the past century that was posted in the game forum.

Post: #3

Dupe

Post: #4

(03-28-2013 09:44 AM)Asaxon Wrote:  - One of the strongest gestures of dominance and self-confidence is forming a "roof" with your hands while mulling things over or sitting in a meeting. The fingertips touch each other pointing upwards almost like praying hands but without the bases of the hands touching.

Post: #5

If you watch Shark Tank, you see guys like Daymond and Kevin doing this constantly. But, Kevin is the real life Mr. Burns:

Post: #6

Yeah, the tail wags the dog in many cases. You can feign "alpha" behavior if you adopt "alpha" bodylanguage.

I don't recommend doing it too much around your friends, though. All those crotch displays and terminator gazes work best when the people you're doing them on don't know who you are.

Did you notice how much male shaming was in the book when you read it? They even made fun of guys for not picking up on the oh-so-subtle female gesture cues that she wants you to come over and talk to her.

Post: #7

Is it ever appropriate to have a hand in your pocket? Sometimes if I'm at a bar and just got my drink and I'm kind of looking over the room, I have my one hand on my drink and I my other hand I'm not sure what to do with. If I don't have a drink then it feels even more awkward.

Post: #8

(03-28-2013 01:01 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  Is it ever appropriate to have a hand in your pocket?

Depends on context. Leaning back on the bar, drink in one hand, other hand in pocket, self-amused expression - good. Standing by the wall, both hands in pockets, hunched over, nervously scanning the room - not good.

(03-28-2013 01:01 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  Sometimes if I'm at a bar and just got my drink and I'm kind of looking over the room, I have my one hand on my drink and I my other hand I'm not sure what to do with. If I don't have a drink then it feels even more awkward.

Try this stance:

Post: #9

Hannibal, I think you're thinking of that one body language book that was written by a gay man and his sister. I forget which one it is exactly but there's a lot of "dumbass cave-man no talky pretty ladies" and "women actually put the work in and initiate all romantic encounters" kind of shaming.

Post: #10

(03-28-2013 01:01 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  Is it ever appropriate to have a hand in your pocket? Sometimes if I'm at a bar and just got my drink and I'm kind of looking over the room, I have my one hand on my drink and I my other hand I'm not sure what to do with. If I don't have a drink then it feels even more awkward.

If you have to put your hand in your pocket, make sure your thumbs are sticking out- this is a sign of confidence.

There's already an entire thread on body language..

Post: #11

One tip that's pretty good, and I think Roissy hit on this at one time, is to stand in counterpose. Here's a link.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Contrapposto
If you're at a standing dinner event or something like that, I think it's a better pose for talking to girls one on one.

Post: #12

(03-28-2013 01:16 PM)Hades Wrote:  Hannibal, I think you're thinking of that one body language book that was written by a gay man and his sister. I forget which one it is exactly but there's a lot of "dumbass cave-man no talky pretty ladies" and "women actually put the work in and initiate all romantic encounters" kind of shaming.

Yeah, I think that was the one. Eh, whatever.

Bodylanguage is one of the more important psychology subjects worth learning and studying.

Post: #13

(03-28-2013 03:07 PM)soup Wrote:  

(03-28-2013 01:01 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  Is it ever appropriate to have a hand in your pocket? Sometimes if I'm at a bar and just got my drink and I'm kind of looking over the room, I have my one hand on my drink and I my other hand I'm not sure what to do with. If I don't have a drink then it feels even more awkward.

If you have to put your hand in your pocket, make sure your thumbs are sticking out- this is a sign of confidence.

There's already an entire thread on body language..

I have heard that fingers in pocket, thumb sticking out displays confidence. But have also heard the inverse, thumb in pocket fingers out. I wonder which one is best..

Post: #14

she's hawt

Post: #15

fuck, im sure this

Quote:Women touching the front of their neck or playing with jewelry are uncomfortable, feel threatened

ain't correct...otherwise I've been doing shit wrong for 4 years and its still worked...

Post: #16

(03-28-2013 03:58 PM)bojangles Wrote:  fuck, im sure this

Quote:Women touching the front of their neck or playing with jewelry are uncomfortable, feel threatened

ain't correct...otherwise I've been doing shit wrong for 4 years and its still worked...

There's more to that statement then the book elaborates.

The physiological process in the body that occurs during fear also occurs during sex and arousal.

It's why I like to watch scary movies with girls or go on roller coaster rides with them.

Wald

Post: #17

(03-28-2013 03:58 PM)bojangles Wrote:  fuck, im sure this

Quote:Women touching the front of their neck or playing with jewelry are uncomfortable, feel threatened

ain't correct...otherwise I've been doing shit wrong for 4 years and its still worked...

Yeah, I've always heard women touching there neck was something to do with being attracted. Maybe its some combination of vulnerability and being attracted (to a dominant man).

Hooking in thumbs in I've always heard of as a confident pose if you do it cowboy style.

Hand in pocket - think Sean Connery more than Craig. Craig has his back straight and looks over compensating whereas Connery looks amused and in control. Can't find the pic I was thinking of.

But body language is part of a whole package. Connery, hands in pockets (classic weak sign according to B/L experts) still looks alpha thanks to this self assured smirk:



I am beginning to realise B/L is one of those things that has to be adapted to who you are. Connery can slouch and have his hands in his pockets and still look alpha has fuck. John Wayne used to at times adopt very feminine stances and they worked because of how big and masculine he was.

Bikers and bouncers can cross their arms across their chest and not look insecure but if a scrawny hipster does it you get a completely different impression.

Paul Newman has a serial killer stare but being good looking and medium sized he doesn't come across as too scary or crazy.

Post: #18

Here's a very good TED talk about BL from a researcher who found it changes your attitude, I quite liked her, quite pretty too if you like skinny blonds.

/thread-22175-...#pid405284

Post: #19

(03-30-2013 12:31 AM)Lazarus Wrote:  

(03-28-2013 03:58 PM)bojangles Wrote:  fuck, im sure this

Quote:Women touching the front of their neck or playing with jewelry are uncomfortable, feel threatened

ain't correct...otherwise I've been doing shit wrong for 4 years and its still worked...

Yeah, I've always heard women touching there neck was something to do with being attracted. Maybe its some combination of vulnerability and being attracted (to a dominant man).

Hooking in thumbs in I've always heard of as a confident pose if you do it cowboy style.

Hand in pocket - think Sean Connery more than Craig. Craig has his back straight and looks over compensating whereas Connery looks amused and in control. Can't find the pic I was thinking of.

But body language is part of a whole package. Connery, hands in pockets (classic weak sign according to B/L experts) still looks alpha thanks to this self assured smirk:



I am beginning to realise B/L is one of those things that has to be adapted to who you are. Connery can slouch and have his hands in his pockets and still look alpha has fuck. John Wayne used to at times adopt very feminine stances and they worked because of how big and masculine he was.

Bikers and bouncers can cross their arms across their chest and not look insecure but if a scrawny hipster does it you get a completely different impression.

Paul Newman has a serial killer stare but being good looking and medium sized he doesn't come across as too scary or crazy.

Contrast is king. But, there is a more masculine style on this forum that says that holding a beer shield will work against you most of the time.

Post: #20

Great review. I read this book it was very solid. I picked up on a lot of things I wasn't aware of.

Post: #21

(03-30-2013 01:54 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  Here's a very good TED talk about BL from a researcher who found it changes your attitude, I quite liked her, quite pretty too if you like skinny blonds.

/thread-22175-...#pid405284

Bro you're trippin me

Post: #22

(03-28-2013 05:19 PM)Walderschmidt Wrote:  

(03-28-2013 03:58 PM)bojangles Wrote:  fuck, im sure this

Quote:Women touching the front of their neck or playing with jewelry are uncomfortable, feel threatened

ain't correct...otherwise I've been doing shit wrong for 4 years and its still worked...

There's more to that statement then the book elaborates.

The physiological process in the body that occurs during fear also occurs during sex and arousal.

It's why I like to watch scary movies with girls or go on roller coaster rides with them.

Wald

probably explains it.