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Older mothers and disabled children
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Kentucky Offline
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Post: #1
Older mothers and disabled children
My friend works for a charity providing services for disabled children.

They were telling me that society will struggle to cope with all the disabled people being born due to older mothers becoming more common

You have a ONE IN EIGHTY chance of having a child with Down's if you are a woman over forty

It is the most sad situation you can imagine having a disabled child (I have seen it up close)

Not just downs but a range of disabilities are spreading

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/articl...amily.html
03-12-2013 06:10 AM
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Handsome Creepy Eel Online
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
The hamster avalanche is all too predictable. The top rated comment:

Quote:"WOMEN who delay motherhood"... men are just as involved in deciding when to start a family. Many of my friends are in their late 20's and have been ready for children for a while - but are waiting for their partners to be ready too. This article should read "PARENTS who delay parenthood". It's not right to blame women for the increase in DS.

Monkey

p.s. Dalrock has once upon a time provided a perfect summary of the "it takes two" fallacy that we are seeing in that comment here. Unfortunately, any argument resembling his article will never be the highest rated, or even have more positive than negative votes.
http://dalrock.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/...-gilligan/

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(This post was last modified: 03-12-2013 07:04 AM by Handsome Creepy Eel.)
03-12-2013 07:01 AM
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Lemmo Offline
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
This has been known for decades. But, just like they think they will be one of the women who can conceive after 40, women also assume they won't be one of the 80 who has a kid with Down's.
03-12-2013 07:02 AM
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esperar Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
I'm not down with the downs being born to old bags.
03-12-2013 07:12 AM
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ElBorrachoInfamoso Away
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Post: #5
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
Just abort the little fuckers if they're going to be freaks

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03-12-2013 08:28 AM
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LaPastillaRoja Offline
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 08:28 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  Just abort the little fuckers if they're going to be freaks

Easy there Adolf.....
03-12-2013 09:08 AM
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Jules D. McMillan Offline
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 08:28 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  Just abort the little fuckers if they're going to be freaks

Whoa dude. Take it down a few.
03-12-2013 10:09 AM
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Kitsune Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
This is a really good reason for me to marry a younger girl, should the time ever come that I have to get married.
03-12-2013 10:29 AM
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Kingsley Davis Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
Pro choice vs pro life rumble in 5,4,3...

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03-12-2013 11:00 AM
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Timoteo Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
I know the risks go up with older mothers, but every woman that I know that has a kid with disabilities had the kid in her 20s.

"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
03-12-2013 11:14 AM
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Nonpareil Online
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Post: #11
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 11:14 AM)Timoteo Wrote:  I know the risks go up with older mothers, but every woman that I know that has a kid with disabilities had the kid in her 20s.

My first cousin is 21 and severely disabled (she's basically a three-year old), and they had her I believe when my Aunt was 28 and my uncle was 34. Sometimes, you just get dealt a bad hand, but putting off having a child until you're in your forties isn't going to make things easier.

I wouldn't wish the shit that they have to go through with her on anyone (well okay...maybe Amanda Marcotte, Hanna Rosin or Lindy West).
03-12-2013 11:47 AM
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Asaxon Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
If all these broads are "ready" in the mid twenties, yet men are not, would this not be a perfect argument for older-man-younger-woman relationships that the modern media love to demonize so much? There is a reason it was and still is normal in most cultures for a husband to be 5-10 years older than his wife.
03-12-2013 11:56 AM
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MrXY Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
I'm not so sure this will be a big problem. When i was a kid, i used to see Down's syndrome kids and adults all the time. now i seldom see them.

The reason? there is now a test for Down's and most women choose to abort them

"If anything's gonna happen, it's gonna happen out there!- Captain Ron
03-12-2013 11:56 AM
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kosko Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
A lot of young girls do dumb shit while pregnant and eat like crap.

In regards to the disables kids its not news, something like once a lady hits 30 years old her chances go up 3-5% each year of her having a disabled child. Nature always knows what's up, it did not find it ideal for older people to conceive and try to raise children and thus put a soft protection on it to keep people from doing it.

Another thing is Same-sex couples, especially females with their test tube babies. I have seen in my 8+ years working in health previously that many kids whom would come through with very heavy disabilities we're test tube babies with Lesbian mothers. I suspect it is actually a issue but is kept hush hush and hidden in the back of journals to protect the hardcore left.
03-12-2013 11:58 AM
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Zebra_Cakes Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 08:28 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  Just abort the little fuckers if they're going to be freaks

Some of us have disabled family members, myself included. Try to have a little more class.
03-12-2013 12:15 PM
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Kentucky Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 08:28 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  Just abort the little fuckers if they're going to be freaks

You're a sick bastard, your mum should have aborted you
03-12-2013 12:21 PM
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Nonpareil Online
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Post: #17
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
Okay come on guys. I'm not agreeing with how that guy said what he said, but let's not resort to comparisons to Hitler and shaming tactics; this isn't a Feminist message board.

...and let's also not pretend that if you knew that your child would be severely disabled, that you wouldn't be pushing for an abortion either; just because it's not PC to say doesn't make it any less true.
(This post was last modified: 03-12-2013 01:39 PM by Nonpareil.)
03-12-2013 12:50 PM
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Zebra_Cakes Offline
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 12:50 PM)Nonpareil Wrote:  Okay come on guys. I'm not agreeing with how that guy said what he said, but let's not resort to comparisons to Hitler and shaming tactics; this isn't a Feminist message board.

...and let's also not pretend that if you knew that your child would be severely disabled, that you wouldn't be pushing for an abortion either; just because it's not PC to say doesn't make it any less true.

It's called tact.
03-12-2013 02:50 PM
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Basil Ransom Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 08:28 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  Just abort the little fuckers if they're going to be freaks

Messr. Borracho's attitude is probably the predominant one. 90% of fetuses diagnosed with down syndrome are aborted. Of course, this population is self-selecting, as fetal screening poses some risk so the people who opt for it are probably much more amenable to aborting defective fetuses.

BUT...

There is a new non-invasive blood test that can detect down syndrome even earlier, without any of the risks of the prevailing exams. As this blood test becomes prevalent and more fetuses with syndrome are identified, abortion of such fetuses may skyrocket, drastically reducing their population over time.
03-12-2013 02:57 PM
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Kickb Away
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Post: #20
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 08:28 AM)ElBorrachoInfamoso Wrote:  Just abort the little fuckers if they're going to be freaks


Hey man that wasn't nice!

Troll
03-12-2013 03:17 PM
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Timoteo Offline
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
A couple of women I've been with over the years have disabled kids, and a couple of other women that were high school and college classmates do also. They all have varying degrees of disabilities. A married chick I was seeing in the LA area for years has a daughter with Down's. She's her oldest kid, and had her in her early 20s. She's high-functioning, and went to a program in a regular high school that had her interact with regular kids. She was on the cheerleading squad also. I believe her mom said the state pays for a couple of years of post-high school education, but she wasn't comfortable sending her to a program at a community college because she would have to take 3 buses to get there, and one of the issues with Down's is that they can become easily confused. She actually knew the child she was carrying had Down's, and they made the decision that they would have her and treat her like any other child as much as they could. They forbid the words stupid, retard, etc. to be spoken in the house, and encouraged her to stretch herself as much as possible. Though she's high functioning, it's doubtful that she'll ever be independent, and she's in her early 20s now. She had two healthy sons after her daughter.

Another chick, a Brazilian in London that I hit, has a severely disabled daughter (her youngest of 3 daughters. The oldest is SMOKIN' but the middle daughter is a fattie) that she had when she was probably in her mid-to-late 20s. She's what I guess you'd picture in your mind's eye when someone thinks of a developmentally disabled person - she has poor coordination, though she walks. Her eyes appear to be looking in different directions. She doesn't speak, and wears a diaper. She has to spend some days overnight in a "home," where she's taught sign language, and they have them do exercises for coordination, drawing pictures and things of that nature. I've actually spent a little time with her, and I know her mom was a little afraid/embarrassed. I told her it was okay, and if I was going to be coming to visit, I needed her to know who I was. Her way of getting to know me was to touch my face, and attempt to sign something to me. She too is now in her early 20s.

My high school squeeze has two sons, and the oldest is autistic (she thinks the younger has a touch of Asperger's). A college classmate had fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, and the boy was severely disabled. They didn't know until after the kids were born - the girl just seemed to be progressing far more quickly than the boy. The boy didn't walk when he should have, was in diapers far too long, didn't cry when babies should cry, etc. A couple of years ago they had to take him to a facility because they simply couldn't handle his behavior, and needed professionals to assess and try to come up with some solutions. He wasn't there permanently, but she was heartbroken with guilt. The stress of having a special-needs kid, and having a less-than-perfect son wore on the father more than her I think. He didn't REALLY want kids at all (he's also a college classmate. They met their freshman year and were together throughout), and was even hesitant to marry, but went through with it anyway. Having a special needs kid was the straw that broke the back.

I think the thing we don't think about, and can't really think about unless you're the parent of or close to someone with a disability is that it's for your lifetime. For a normal kid, you know in 18 to 20-something years you'll be rid of them, and in their teens for the most part they'll be somewhat independent. For disabled kids, you'll have to care for them for your whole life. They're never going to be independent. As you get older, you live with the worry about what will happen to them when you're gone. Then, will a sibling have to sacrifice their lives to care for them?

So yeah, it's a decision that some people make. First, to have amnio or whatever other tests there are to see if the fetus is healthy, and once you know the fetus isn't, to make the decision to terminate or carry to term. It isn't about being PC either - no matter how hard we think we all are, some sensitivity is required. Calling them "freaks" isn't about being PC.

"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
(This post was last modified: 03-12-2013 03:38 PM by Timoteo.)
03-12-2013 03:32 PM
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Exactaking Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
My brother is autistic and my mother had him at 35 (me at 33). Because of that, I think I can only have a kid with like a 25 year old chick, make sure its a safe womb. Of course my genome is pretty fucked up (father's side is full of mental illness). In fact, my whole family is like a worse case scenario for what we talk about on this form. My beta father at 29 marries my mother who is 32, he acts like she was the greatest thing since slice bread. No offense to my mother, but jeez, swallowing the red pill really makes give everything a hard look.
03-12-2013 03:45 PM
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Post: #23
RE: Older mothers and disabled children
I think the reason you all know young (under 29) mothers with Down children is because there are (still) many more young than old mothers. The fact that the risk rises dramatically with age is overwhelmed by the fact that there are so many more opportunities for a smaller risk to happen.

Like smoking causes lung cancer, yet lung cancer is pretty common all in all even in non-smokers, so the huge non-smoking population that gets lung cancer for some other reason (air pollution, genetics, age, disease) makes it seem like it's not a smoking issue after all.

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03-12-2013 04:32 PM
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 12:50 PM)Nonpareil Wrote:  Okay come on guys. I'm not agreeing with how that guy said what he said, but let's not resort to comparisons to Hitler and shaming tactics; this isn't a Feminist message board.

...and let's also not pretend that if you knew that your child would be severely disabled, that you wouldn't be pushing for an abortion either; just because it's not PC to say doesn't make it any less true.

By your logic someone should call for reinstating slavery or gassing Jews and we should respect their opinion because 'We are not feminists'
03-12-2013 04:40 PM
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Timoteo Offline
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RE: Older mothers and disabled children
(03-12-2013 04:32 PM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  I think the reason you all know young (under 29) mothers with Down children is because there are (still) many more young than old mothers. The fact that the risk rises dramatically with age is overwhelmed by the fact that there are so many more opportunities for a smaller risk to happen.

Like smoking causes lung cancer, yet lung cancer is pretty common all in all even in non-smokers, so the huge non-smoking population that gets lung cancer for some other reason (air pollution, genetics, age, disease) makes it seem like it's not a smoking issue after all.

Also, the assumption is that it's an issue with the mother that causes the defect/disability. Older men have suspect sperm also, and sometimes it's something buried in a younger man's DNA that triggers the issue in development.

"The best kind of pride is that which compels a man to do his best when no one is watching."
03-12-2013 04:49 PM
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