Post: #1

In 2001 my senior year of College was coming to an end, and I suddenly realized a very sad fact, "I've never been to spring break".

I was hanging out in the gym one day in January with my normal crew of misfits, when we started to have some serious reflections on our lives.

"Are we working out for no reason?"
"Is this all the ass we are going to get after 4 years of College?"
"Are we done partying?"

It was at that moment that somebody made a grand suggestion "let's stop being pussy's and book a trip to cancun".

This was the time that Cancun was in it's hayday, millions of College kids were attending every year, and the Mexican gangs were not involved in daily street shootings yet.

One day in school I grabbed a spring break flyer from one of the walls in the dorms, and I booked a $1,000 all inclusive trip to Cancun with my 3 buddies. We stayed at the world famous "Oasis" hotel.

The first night there we pregamed in the hotel, and took the dollar Mexican bus to this club called "LaBoom", which I believe is now closed.

All 4 of us spread out on the dance floor and started in with some caveman grind, when I spotted one of my friends kiss closing on the dance floor. It was going good for about 10 minutes before I saw him get up and leave the club!


"Hey, where the fuck did Mike go?"

"He said he has to vomit! haha, he's running back to the hotel!"


Since anything goes in Mexico, I decided to jump in and steal his girl. I started talking to her at the bar and kiss closing, when she invited me back to her hotel. She said that she was from Michigan and a Sophomore in College.

When we got back to her room I was all ready to go. We jumped into her bed, and I reached into my pocket to grab one of my expired rubbers when she stopped me!


"I'm on my period, we can't do it"


Mother fucker. I was pissed off. But then a familiar smile came across her face, and I knew the prize that I was about to receive.


Like the Mayan warriors before me, I had just found my Aztec princess.


She immediately pulled down my pants, and then she started doing some fellatio moves that I have never seen before.

• She started blowing on it
  

• She licked the base which I couldn't even feel
  

• She started biting it
  

I was in total shock to what this girl was trying to do to my penis, but then it got worse.

She started yanking on it like she was trying to start a lawn mower.

"Vrrmmmmmmmmm Vrmmmmmmmmmm


I was winching in pain, and I was hopeing that my dick skin was strong enough to keep my penis attached to it's base.

Needless to say I was unable to complete. I told her that "it must be the Jamison shots"


When I got back to my hotel I was surprised to see my friends still up waiting for me. My friend Joe wanted some details.


"Bro, what happened with that girl????"

"Guys, I just received that WORST blowjob of my entire life!"

"Really? How was it?"



"Um, Um, actually it was fucking great!"

(THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A BAD BLOWJOB)

Here ends today's lesson...

Post: #2

They say sex is like pizza. Even when it is bad, it is still pretty good.

Post: #3

I had a really aggressive girl bite my hipbone. Did not feel good at all.

Post: #4

Gentlemen, I can deal with rug burns. And I can deal with claw marks on my back.
But I cannot handle a chick running her incisors up and down my shaft like a carrot peeler.

Post: #5

I am uncircumcised. There was this girl who had a slight gap on her lower teeth. She somehow got my frenulum caught there as she was doing a circular motion with her head.

O brothers, I cried.

I cried.

Post: #6

(03-10-2013 09:47 PM)germanico Wrote:  I am uncircumcised. There was this girl who had a slight gap on her lower teeth. She somehow got my frenulum caught there as she was doing a circular motion with her head.

O brothers, I cried.

I cried.

As soon as I read "slight gap on her lower teeth" I reflexively cringed.

Post: #7

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