Post: #26

Yeah, I know and it's unfortunate.

Mike's not only a good shit, he KNOWS his shit, and can put it into words that guys understand.

Now that things have calmed down, and this place is pretty much back to normal, perhaps he can see it in his heart to jump back in.

I know it's hard for a bad ass dude to go back on what he said, never coming back, but we're all bad asses here so we'll understand.

Post: #27

The nr. 1 pre-requisite to pussy is..interacting with women. If you're caught up in work, have a tight social circle and hate wasting time/resources on stupid shit, you will have long dry-streaks(if you don't approach that is).

I live in Romania, and in here social circle trumps everything. 99% of all the relationships i know of come from school, facebook or their circle. When people go out, they go in groups of 2 -> 10, and they very rarely interact with other people. Guys only approach if dared of if drunk. Either way you put it

Tendency to introversion = BIG obstacle

I had a colleague in school, tall good looking guy, 6'1 - 6'2, swimmer's frame, he looked a lot like Cam Gigandet, really smart also, but shy and introverted. He was a kiss-less virgin at 19, with basically 0 prospects. Couldn't make him take the red-pill..i don't know what he's doing now, but i have a feel that not much has changed.

Post: #28

(01-28-2013 04:24 AM)bojangles Wrote:  I think speakeasy you're right about shyness being genetic (i don't have any scientific studies to prove it) as most of my first cousins are shy. The weird part though is that every parent in the generation above is not, they are all outspoken and generally say what the hell they want.

Could shyness be down to parenting?

But then you see little toddlers expressing signs of shyness, and parenting can have had minimal effect at that period of life.

Shyness is really a fear of trauma that was learned at some point even if we can't remember it. Part of why it can be difficult to get over is that the trauma happened so early on that we can't remember or at a time where we could not process what was going on. Personality is largely formed by age 3. There may be some genetic influence on sensitivity to trauma though.

When it comes to parenting, I think the parents' social status will have a lot to do with it. Toddlers are naturally very assertive for what they want, and for most parents, their primary goal is to get the child to do what the parents want them to do. In other words, their goal is to make the little one submissive. If the parents are those who is taking it from the man all day, the last thing they are going to do is take it form some baby less than a tenth their size. The personality will form around this and become very beta. If it is formed primarily around the mother's influence, it will be a personality that learns to be submissive to women. You really can't blame these types. They learned to act this way out of their own survival.

Post: #29

I've started to distance myself from gentlemen like this.

They are slowly becoming acquaintances and less of friends that I rely on or shoot the shit with.

While I'm cool with friends who do not pursue pussy rapidly or whatever, but the gentlemen who have never gotten any pussy usually lack motivation in other things too, and that starts to make me unmotivated when I hang out with them frequently.

I also find these gentlemen are the quickest to point out your failures, no matter how small, and ignore your successes. That is not what men do, that is what snakes do, and I do not associate myself with snakes.

Post: #30

That's me in a nutshell. I'm too damn shy for my own good, and in the words of my best friend (who reads this site and Roissy), I'm too "into myself". I have this perpetual fear of being judged, so that's why even at parties, if I'm sober, I keep my mouth shut. That cute girl over there? No balls to go up to her without alcohol in me.

I should be tearing it up at my school, a known party school with plenty of hot girls, but this crippling shyness is holding me back. I don't have anyone to blame but myself.

How did you guys get over it? Aside from approaching everyday.

Post: #31

Been there, done that Crtl

I was able to tell myself to just do it.

Force yourself. Get it in your head, whatever it takes. I know I am a bit different, but it really doesn't matter. It comes down to one thing. Do you want to stay where you are?

Go up and talk to that broad.

Remember this. While you do it you may think she is the hottest thing ever.

She's not. She's just another broad.

Believe me, you will run in to much hotter broads later in your life.

Once you do it, it becomes easy.

Post: #32

This thread really resonated with me. Giving it a bump.

Post: #33

Show me a man that cant get laid, and I will show you a proud man who wont lower his standards.

Post: #34

He needs a serious pussy currency revaluation. Once he truly accepts the cold hard reality that any arbitrarily selected girl that he might have the hots for has likely taken 50+ cocks in the last 12 months he will understand that being shy or nervous about women you are attracted to is totally inappropriate. It is as big a waste of time and energy as stressing out over a $1.50 purchase at McDonalds.

Post: #35

(02-03-2013 04:36 AM)CtrlAltElite Wrote:  That's me in a nutshell. I'm too damn shy for my own good, and in the words of my best friend (who reads this site and Roissy), I'm too "into myself". I have this perpetual fear of being judged, so that's why even at parties, if I'm sober, I keep my mouth shut. That cute girl over there? No balls to go up to her without alcohol in me.

I should be tearing it up at my school, a known party school with plenty of hot girls, but this crippling shyness is holding me back. I don't have anyone to blame but myself.

How did you guys get over it? Aside from approaching everyday.

There is nothing wrong with being introverted but shy is associated with having a lack of confidence in social situations. The way to gain confidence is to push yourself just beyond your comfort level. Once you move that line, keep pushing it forward. Confidence comes from life experience. Women are attracted to older men, for their frame and sense of self which is developed through experience.

Observe your male friends who have success with women and in social settings. Study their movement, body language, speech and eye contact. Don't be afraid to ask them questions. Unlike women, men generally want their friends to succeed and will offer a guiding hand in your development.

Post: #36

(01-28-2013 12:31 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  I know a guy like this through Facebook. We "met" in a music group and ended up having a lot in common. When I posted an old Roissy blog entry he asked what it was about...and then proceeded to tell me he'd never had a relationship or "relations" and he was around 30. He's the king of "LJBF."

This baffled me. He's an extremely good-looking guy (not gay!) who holds a decent job, works on cars, and has all his hair. Noticing all this, my first question was: how tall are you? He's 6'3." WTF?!

My only conclusion is that some guys have an "X factor" that puts women off or makes them indifferent. These are the guys who need to learn game ASAP. I've pushed him in this direction, but he's reluctant. This guy is living proof that looks, height, and intelligence do not = easy sex. And proof that game not only works but trumps those other factors. I think if this were like 1966 the guy would probably be married, but in the current environment he's getting eaten alive. And he doesn't "get it" because he has old-fashioned ideals. Hopefully, I'll be able to get him to these parts soon.

Well assuming he's not a psychopath like a Dexter character the most probable thing going on with him is that his standards are too high and he's indifferent to any average that has approached him. Guys like you described will most certainly have 5s and 6s trying to get into a relationship with him. Really good looking tall guys with a job and no game is hitting the lottery for a 5. They now have a beta provider but one with really good genetics. Girls always try to hook their average looking friends up with guys like that. If this guy has any male friends who have GFs/wives I can't believe they wouldn't try to matchmake.

Post: #37

Quote:Unlike women, men generally want their friends to succeed and will offer a guiding hand in your development.

Women do not?

Post: #38

(11-27-2015 03:11 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

Quote:Unlike women, men generally want their friends to succeed and will offer a guiding hand in your development.

Women do not?

I think ostensibly they do or at least make a show that they do, but the devil is in the details. Men will provide their friends with advice that actually works, regardless of his friends feelings about it (note to younger guys: there's a way of doing this without ACTUALLY being a dick, and it's a skill that will get you far). I've had a buddy tell me that I need to get in shape, women will tell each other how great they are. When giving advice, men will talk to each other about what they need to bring to the table, women will try to set up their friends with guys who'll like what they bring, even if it's week old bacon.

I've thought about why that is and I just think there's a fundamental difference in survival instincts. Women are VERY competitive with one another, even amongst friends, so telling their out of shape friend that they're beautiful when they're not keeps their competition down. Men have a bit more of a certain, non-self beneficial altruism that you really only see in women when they're dealing with their children.

Post: #39

Interesting thread. I believe a lot of shyness is a result of taking oneself too seriously. Game isn't about standing in the corner looking cool like some kind of super-alpha, it's more about being friendly and fun, and unafraid to go for what you want. Most people with game problems will be better to just let go of whatever emotional baggage they have and just let themselves live a little.

Post: #40

(11-27-2015 07:18 PM)nek Wrote:  

(11-27-2015 03:11 PM)Cheetah Wrote:  

Quote:Unlike women, men generally want their friends to succeed and will offer a guiding hand in your development.

Women do not?

I think ostensibly they do or at least make a show that they do, but the devil is in the details. Men will provide their friends with advice that actually works, regardless of his friends feelings about it (note to younger guys: there's a way of doing this without ACTUALLY being a dick, and it's a skill that will get you far). I've had a buddy tell me that I need to get in shape, women will tell each other how great they are. When giving advice, men will talk to each other about what they need to bring to the table, women will try to set up their friends with guys who'll like what they bring, even if it's week old bacon.

I've thought about why that is and I just think there's a fundamental difference in survival instincts. Women are VERY competitive with one another, even amongst friends, so telling their out of shape friend that they're beautiful when they're not keeps their competition down. Men have a bit more of a certain, non-self beneficial altruism that you really only see in women when they're dealing with their children.

Very interesting.

Thinking about it now, I have met dozens of altruistic guys in my life by can't name a single chick. (I mean altruism as a character trait not going to Guatemala and taking pictures with orphans)

I became close with my ex's 4 best friends for a while which really got me some insider info about how women interact among themselves when guys are not around.

I found their friendships to be very self serving and calculated. They rarely did favors for each other like men do. Borrowing money from each other, buying your friend a round at the bar, giving out actionable advice etc ... stuff even casual male acquaintances do for each other was unheard of.

It seemed the primary reason for them keeping friends around was to have someone to talk to, process their emotions with and get that post-gossip emotional high. Support within that emotional frame was common but ended when it came to practical stuff like sacrificing their immediate comfort in order to help out a friend. For instance, if a friend needed a ride to the airport, they would call one of their beta orbiters and ask them to give "her friend" a ride instead of doing it themselves.

Post: #41

The guy you describe could be a potential natural. As he already has the cool guy thing going on: non-needy, circle of friends, and on his purpose. He only needs to start approaching and getting more comfortable around girls.

Post: #42

You could always try this to push the envelope. I found this actually works quite well.

Post: #43

^ That is always a fun game.