Post: #1

My family had a few guests over from Russia. Seems like the holidays season is guest-mania. My half-brother from moscow (and his family) is visiting, and as a result, a cascade of people are coming to the house to say hi and what not.

This always starts and ends the same way- Drinks and more drinks. Two choices of drink- vodka or cognac.

Backstory aside, when the Russian start drinking the anti-social, xenophobic mask falls away and the jocular nostalgia comes out.

former KGB officer/aeronautical expert and now NASA scientist named Teddy (false name of course) starts shooting the shit about corruption and greed in Communist Russia.

Teddy- "We are drinking vodka at the KGB station.
Commanding officer opens a letter, "Blat (shit), somebody from turkey is reporting some bullshit. Teddy, here read this"
Teddy- "So I open the letter. Turkey is reporting that two cities along where a new concrete damm (size of Hoover damm) is taking forever to be built, and the two cities next to the damm have had a massive boon in construction."
Commanding officer- "Teddy, you lazy bastard, go figure it out!"
Teddy- "So i pack my bags, we take samples of the damm. We compare geological maps of the area, and the two cities have quadrupled in size w/no evidence of how this is possible considering concrete is in short-supply at this time...We take samples from new houses built"
Teddy-"We find out dam was built very shoddily, and that it was at great risk of being destroyed. The samples from the houses and the dam match. What likely happened is the dam community manager thieved the concrete and sold it to the residents."
Teddy- "I report that dam is in terrible shape. Recommend building second wall for dam to reinforce first shitty built one."
Superiors- "We dont have enough concrete in that country to build the 2nd wall"
Teddy- "Lets hope nothing bad will happen, otherwise 3 million people will have their homes ruined and likely be killed. F-it I still dont know wtf happened in the end there"

Post: #2

2nd story- Ivan (former businessman/ factory manager/ industrialist) drops...

IVan- "The area I lived in Russia was an industrial area w/a cross-roads to Soviet Republics. I knew a father-son duo who ran a communist factory in the area. Their business was coal and mining. At this time, coal was in short-supply and since nobody owned anything, they decided it would be a good idea to sell it on the sly and pretend like it was delivered to wherever it was going. So they would ship containers of wood and the put the coal dust on top of it and pretend like everything was tick-tack."
One day, word gets around that a Inspection Comittee from Moscow is coming to inspect the factory and shipping.

Son goes running to father in a panic- "Father, blat, I need rubles immediately. I need to go get food products, gold, watches and silver."
Father- "OK. Ill call in some favors."
Black caviar, vodka, meats, cheese, breads, a whole buffett and tray of foods is brought to the factory 1 hour before the comittee arrives. Father gathers all the pretty secretary women from the company and imports some extras.
Son invites comittee in- and first thing they do is line up shots of vodka.

They party for 6 hours straight. Secretaries bang the committee members, vodka is consumed, food is eaten, all around good time. Everybody passes out, then at noon it starts again for part deux.

This time its even more extravagant. Buffett, then the factory owner and son start passing out gold/silver watches, jewlery. By this point, everybody is shit-faced, barely standing, and eyes cant even see straight. They take them for inspections.

Pass w/flying colors and get necessary signatures.

Post: #3

Teddy( who is jewish) drops this gem-

So one day, this man goes to the rabbi.
He says, "Rabbi, I have a serious problem with my son. Hes in all sorts of trouble. He stays out late, has all these new friends, is banging prostitutes, and is even thinking about changing his religion"
Rabbi- "thats a serious problem, indeed. Let me discuss this w/God and well pray on it. Hopefully hell answer"

Next day man bangs on temple. Rabbi opens up.
Man- "So did you ask God ? What did he say?"
Rabbi- " Well i discussed your problem w/God, but...."
Man- "Well, what is it?
Rabbi- "God had the same problem w/his son too"

Post: #4

Soviet Mentality- the Soviets may have changed into suits and adopted "western capitalism", but the mentality remains the same. The thieving and underhanded dealings remain the same.

Post: #5

(01-06-2013 04:37 AM)DVY Wrote:  Soviet Mentality- the Soviets may have changed into suits and adopted "western capitalism", but the mentality remains the same. The thieving and underhanded dealings remain the same.

Yeah, this is well known. Western businesses who start doing business have to deal with the culture of bribery and corruption - which is illegal in their home countries. Some of the big chains have had problems with this - like Ikea.

http://themoscownews.com/business/201109...84847.html

I have heard there is a saying, "A Russian never goes anywhere without stealing something"

They are often good at lying and generally being devious - but I find it somewhat comical and pretty stupid at times.

What came first Dostoyevsky or Russian culture?