Post: #1

Not sure when I wrote all these. Sporadically. I wrote them sporadically.

Dear Journal,

Well it's been five days eighteen hours, and some odd mms uses since I last had sex. I'm. Not sure...how much longer I can go on like this. After setting a new notch record for myself this month 2new chicks in 2 weeks. I can cross one item off my bucket list. I fucked a 34 year old mom. The other chick works in my leasing office.

The one girl I wanted to fuck a lot didn't come back and the chick I don't want to fuck anymore won't fucking leave me alone. oh well. Schools starting up again. I'm going to try and set up a team within the first couple of weeks.

Till next time journal.

Hey journal me again.

We
School is underway and I don't have a team set up. What I do have is a virgin on the hook. Going to try and pop that cherry.

I want to have three girls on a rotation before winter break. I also would like a 3.0 gap. I'm going to achieve both.

Let's get it!

Oh yeah and

Well i did fuvk that virgin however my 3.0 gpa never materialized. i had a decent chance at achieving my goal but some stuff happened and I fell into a hole.

Hey journal. I'm drunk. These mother fuckers mad dat I'm icey. I think I'm bog meech!

Post: #2

Motorcycle didn't start today. Can't figure out why.

Post: #3

If I posted something personal in a public forum it would no longer be personal. Sorry.

Post: #4

Prepare for taxes.

Followup with XX from XX at 1PM

Go to Post Office.

Post: #5

I'll bite. This is from last winter.

...

I turn 24 tomorrow. I'm not happy about it, especially when I pause to think of how much others younger than myself have already accomplished. I'm trying to turn this sense of anger into motivation, pushing myself to do something other than all that I've tried already.

Woke up around noon today, then lounged around quite lazily for a few hours before heading downstairs to smoke and grab a Heineken tallboy. After swilling 24 ounces of cold Dutch lager, I now sit before the keyboard, pounding away.

4:20 in the afternoon. Life just got more interesting a few minutes ago. Three local police officers pulled over a big-body white sedan in front of my house, then made the passenger get out and walk backwards at gunpoint. They're all gone now, but holy shit! Crazy times. One or two nights ago there were civilian cars driving up the sidewalks around here.

Post: #6

I've been doing standup off and on, so most of my notepad notes are me finding something funny that I can transform into fleshed out standup ready jokes later. Every once in a while I have a profound live changing thought but I might put it in the same document as the jokes, so it gets lost lol.



Sample notes:
"Nothing's worse than a fat girl that cant cook"

"Woman pulling down her skirt because it gets hiked up with every 20 steps she takes. Women have clothes that get sluttier as the night goes on. The dress will not let you look smart no matter how hard you try. Dress: 'Ooh, you're talking to this guy about how several Africa children probably died to make your phone, since coltan is mostly found in the Congo, and how its impossible to have a 'conflict free' phone in this day and age? DENIED, here are your slut panties bitch'"

"Theres nothing worse in life than getting the blue screen of death right as youre about to masturbate. And do you wait the 15 minutes for Windows to repair itself? Nope, you wanna jack off right now, and then youre all surprised when your computer refuses to boot up in 6 months"

"if you lock up a bunch of thugged out gangster black dudes burning the Qur'an with a bunch of pissed off Muslims screaming 'nigger', who would win?"

"Olympian Lolo Jones said in an interview that she has trouble dating because most men can't handle her training or the fact that shes a virgin waiting for marriage. Men - what the fuck is wrong with you. 'Nah man, this girl is not fat or slutty enough for my tastes'. "

"The Olympics will end racism. White and black men unite over Olympic ass. It has the size that black guys love, while maintaining the tightness that drives white boys wild. Me and a black friend watched womens track and field, and afterwards we just hugged and sang 'kumbaya' and 'ebony and ivory' for 2 hours. And then of course some pissed of fat chick on the internet claiming to be a dude will post that 'athlete women are gross and real women have curves'. There's always at least one"

Post: #7

12/28/12 Time:03:42AM
A hamster is nothing but the bitch thinking with the wrong head. No different than lovin a ho.