Post: #1

First post - I've been having a blast dating and am so grateful that I'm still single at this point in my life. I have no problem rolling with the tips and pointers that I've picked up over my 12 years since college and when I'm hooking up with my standard bevy of girls aged 26-33 who are usually 6.5's to 7.5's I have a great system and enjoy nice success in pickups, hookups, etc.

My issue is that when I get a bite from girls who are either under 25 or over 7.5 on desirability scale, I loosen some of my rules and find myself doing things that A) I don't normally do and B) that are kind of beta and therefore may borderline turn off these girls.

Examples: Taking them out for sushi and drinks instead of just meeting at bar, not playing it as cool with texting habits, saying "okay" to meeting up with friends at bars, NOT pushing as hard for entrance into their apartment/condo, NOT pushing aggressively for escalation when they're in my condo (I had an 8 in my downtown condo and was satisfied/happy with making out, feeling her up, I "felt cool" having my similarly-aged neighbors/buddies see her leave my place at 2am which is so fucking gay and pathetic that I kind of hate myself), etc. etc.

I feel like I'm going to continue to cockblock myself from some really nice times with upper-tier women if I can't stop putting these younger and/or hotter chicks on a pedestal. Any advice for how to "pump myself up" towards being my usual snarky/sarcastic/witty/confident self with these women and stop elevating them in my mind?

Post: #2

Scatology-themed advice coming in 3... 2... 1...

Post: #3

I don't get it.

Post: #4

Don't pump yourself up. It will make you intense, try hard and anxious to perform. Go backwards instead. Relax, unwind, let loose, unravel that tension inside. That will help you massively to bring your natural personality back.

Post: #5

(12-10-2012 01:18 PM)XXL Wrote:  Don't pump yourself up. It will make you intense, try hard and anxious to perform. Go backwards instead. Relax, unwind, let loose, unravel that tension inside. That will help you massively to bring your natural personality back.

That's good stuff. You're right - when I am going on a date with a 6.5 who I just want to fuck and don't care if I ever see again, I am not "pumped up", I'm borderline complacent. I will definitely try to wind things down mentally when I see this chick again.

I think part of my problem is that I feel pressure to have a solid date on New Year's Eve and so I attach hopes to this hotter chick ("It would be fun to ring in the new year with this girl", etc.). Last year I was dating 3 or 4 girls at the same time but none were attached to me to the point where I spent NYE with them and as a consequence I was out with 2 dorky guys. Sucked.

Post: #6

(12-10-2012 01:17 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  I don't get it.

Of late, there has been a rash of people talking about how the girls they had sex with shit themselves in bed, and how their sexyness instantly plummeted because of that so they couldn't pedestalize those girls anymore. So, as the popular joke goes now, imagining a girl to be taking a shit prevents you from idolizing her. Examples:

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Post: #7

(12-10-2012 01:27 PM)MikeinMKE Wrote:  That's good stuff. You're right - when I am going on a date with a 6.5 who I just want to fuck and don't care if I ever see again, I am not "pumped up", I'm borderline complacent. I will definitely try to wind things down mentally when I see this chick again.

You see? That's the shit right there. You're almost like lazy. And that's the best emotional state to be in. Being relaxed to point of boredom. Why? Cause when you're so chilled out and comfortable with zero signs of anxiety then you start thinking up ways to amuse yourself and you take initiative, you start to have fun and that fun comes from the right place internally since you don't try to impress nobody, it's all for yourself.

So let's say you're on a date with a girl. When you're fully relaxed and the seems boring (let's be honest, most of them are) you stop complaining about her or waiting for her to entertain you or trying to impress her and you start generating your good mood by taking action and self amusing yourself by telling your silly stories, having stupid comebacks, joking around, messing with her hair, flirting in way you like, making fun of her shittests, getting physical and dancing with her, sharing exciting stories, etc, cause that's how men stimulate themselves, not by external environment but internally, by initiative, by doing shit and taking action.