Post: #1

This little 5'2 90 pound chick punched me in the damn left nut and then ran off giggling. I said What the fuck and then she responded "I didn't think there was anything there but your one inch penis." I started walking towards her like Jason and she just ran off laughing. I am going to get revenge but, what can I do? What do you guys suggest? She doesn't own a car so I can't destroy her interior.

Post: #2

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph...as%20Pedal

Post: #3

Anything involving her reputation or embarrassing her. That shit means more to chicks and does more psychological damage than anything else. Get creative with it.

***Paging el mechanico...

Post: #4

What would a woman do if you had punched her vagina or breasts? We all know the answer...

Post: #5

Just a suggestion......


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8NV00luZurw

Post: #6

Kickboxer,

That's messed up. Was this random, or do you know her? Didn't this happen to Roosh recently too

Report her to the police for criminal assault and battery, especially if you have a witness.

Even if you decide not to press charges, just having her arrested and brought in for questioning will be a good scare/hassle for her, and she will subsequently have the beginning of an arrest record.

Post: #7

I would grab her by the hair and slap her if I were in my country.

I don't think you can do anything physically in western countries though.

Post: #8

...

Post: #9

Do you have witnesses or proof?

Go to the student newspapers/campus police and say you were sexually assaulted by her. Make a scene. Try and use feminist laws against her.

If you succeed, which I doubt because of the double-standard of sexual abuse against men, the embarrassment will be great for her, and if people find out it was you who did this, you'll have campus-wide fame (and you'll get more bangs).


Go to the campus police and say "Officer. I've been savagely beaten in the nuts by someone, and I'd like to file a report for sexual assault."

If they question whether or not you're serious, tell them "I demand justice."



See if you can push this, would be absolutely hilarious if it works. I will personally send you $30 if you can successfully press charges.

Also it doesn't matter if you convict her or anything. Don't hire a lawyer, it's not worth the expense. Just see if you can make her life hell, and see if you can cause a scene.

Post: #10

(11-19-2012 12:58 AM)kickboxer Wrote:  I am going to get revenge but, what can I do? What do you guys suggest?

File a police report. The "double standard" exists because when a dude kicks a chick in a groin she goes to police and complain, while when a chick kicks dude in the groin he goes to a forum and complains.

Post: #11

Just an arrest will follow her forever. See if you can do it.

Post: #12

True Story time:

Once a girl came up to me and kicked me in the balls. She had those massive platforms on - it hurt so badly I actually went to the doctors to see if I'd been permanently damaged afterwards.

Anyway, I didn't really see it coming - she literally did it out of nowhere, I wasn't looking in her direction. I imagine it was a dare or something from her friends (It was a night out, I had no idea who she was etc. etc.) Anyway, in the moment she kicked me, I punched out to defend myself. The next thing I knew, I'd punched her either in the liver or solar plexus or something, because she was knocked out cold. She crumpled to the floor. In less than a second, these guys she knew were bumping their chests in to me telling me it's not right to hit a girl. (WTF?) Meanwhile, I'm seeing stars and am wondering if I'll ever be able to have children, and she's woken up and is sobbing on the floor from embarrassment. Luckily, it all dissipated after my friends laid down the law to the guys.

I'm not particularly proud of this, but I imagine she hasn't ever tried to kick a guy in the balls since then.

Post: #13

Kitsune you took her down like Carl Froch haha

Post: #14

You'll look like a big pussy going to the cops. You want revenge, best thing to do is to let some time pass before doing anything. That helps defuse your anger and think straight. Who knows, in 30 days you may no longer care about it.

Someone mentioned starting some rumors, great idea. Find an amateur porn vid with a chick that kinda looks like her, something not too clear. Make up a story that it's her. Email it to everyone in a way that can't get back to you.

Like I said though, take some time to let your emotions calm down and get any suspicion off of you. And remember, you might do something that absolutely destroys this chick and her reaction could be very extreme. You gotta ask yourself, is it worth it and do I want this on my conscience?

Post: #15

(11-19-2012 08:44 AM)painter Wrote:  You'll look like a big pussy going to the cops. You want revenge, best thing to do is to let some time pass before doing anything. That helps defuse your anger and think straight. Who knows, in 30 days you may no longer care about it.

Someone mentioned starting some rumors, great idea. Find an amateur porn vid with a chick that kinda looks like her, something not too clear. Make up a story that it's her. Email it to everyone in a way that can't get back to you.

Like I said though, take some time to let your emotions calm down and get any suspicion off of you. And remember, you might do something that absolutely destroys this chick and her reaction could be very extreme. You gotta ask yourself, is it worth it and do I want this on my conscience?

No but going to the police is the best revenge. Her record will be ruined by this. You think she is going to like having assault listed on her criminal record for the rest of her life?

Post: #16

(11-19-2012 08:44 AM)painter Wrote:  You'll look like a big pussy going to the cops. You want revenge, best thing to do is to let some time pass before doing anything. That helps defuse your anger and think straight. Who knows, in 30 days you may no longer care about it.

Someone mentioned starting some rumors, great idea. Find an amateur porn vid with a chick that kinda looks like her, something not too clear. Make up a story that it's her. Email it to everyone in a way that can't get back to you.

Like I said though, take some time to let your emotions calm down and get any suspicion off of you. And remember, you might do something that absolutely destroys this chick and her reaction could be very extreme. You gotta ask yourself, is it worth it and do I want this on my conscience?

Gay.

Post: #17

(11-19-2012 08:44 AM)painter Wrote:  You'll look like a big pussy going to the cops.

This is a weak mentality. You shouldn't care what others think. The best revenge is to inflict maximum damage. And no one fucks someone up like the law fucks someone up.

Any sort of attention is good attention, even if it's negative attention. Think of all the ways kickboxer could spin this should guys give him shit about it...


"Dude you went to the police for a girl?"

Possible responses:

"Yeah man, I can't get these bitches to respect my nutz."
"Some girls just can't keep off my nuts man."
"That's right. Don't make my balls angry."


Because of the funny ass situation this involves, it will be so easy to spin it with humor. If this situation goes viral on campus Kickboxer will be an alpha male from the fame within a week. He'll have plenty of haters, but also make tons of friends and I guarantee bangs out of this.

Girls LOVE a man who is smart enough to one-up another of their kind.

Post: #18

Nah, the cops will laugh, even if it is assault. Plus everyone who hears about it will clown the guy. Blasting her reputation is a great way to get revenge. The porn vid was the first thing I thought of but then I thought about something else. Maybe the chick actually likes you and that's her dumb girl way of flirting in the worst way possible. Either way, a hasty reaction could come back to haunt you.

Eh, good points Samseau, now I'm not so sure. It could work out like that. From the OP it doesn't sound like it went far enough to get cops involved, though. If he was crumpled on the ground fearing permanent damage like the other post then i'd consider the cops for sure, but you know they won't do much for a guy in this situation as opposed to a girl.

Post: #19

Just the fact that girl will get a call from Officer Ballbuster will make her shit a brick. She'll be thinking "Wtf, I can't believe he went to the cops about this?!".

Then she'll run to all her little friends and spread some awful shit about you.

By that time you'll have already went to the school newspaper.

Samseau nailed it. Campus popularity will skyrocket.

Post: #20

Why didn't you act in the moment? Time passing really weakens your case, both in the legal sense (calling the cops) or in the social-sympathy case (some kind of payback).

Post: #21

I appreciate the outpouring concern for my balls. I should have stated in the OP that I know who this chick is. I think she was flirting..? I just want to get back at her in an amusing way. Calling the cops would be funny as shit. I could easily spin that into something hilarious. I'll just turn in her name and number so she gets a phone call. I should record the cal l to the police.

Tuth-At the time I was carrying a block of pinion wood. Had I been quicker on my feet I could have blocked her punch with it.

Post: #22

I'll put in another vote for "cops". Who gives a crap what they think? That was an assault, and if it had landed wrong it could've permanently damaged you in a serious way. It's funny to go "Hahaha, balls," and I enjoy a good kicked-in-the-balls joke as much as anybody, but you could've been in months of pain and suffered lifelong repercussions.

She deserves to go to jail for it, if only so she doesn't pull the same retarded stunt on some other dude. You were fortunate. (Either that, or you do daily ball-strengthening exercises.) Some other bastard might not be.

Post: #23

Ok, it does sound more playful than sinister, as much as even just a tap to the nuts could be called "playful". I took the original post as some cunt being really evil. Have her make it up to you teabag style with an ice cube in her mouth!

Post: #24

You can still call the cops but drop the charges later. Go to the police today or else it's gonna be tough to pull this prank off.

Post: #25

Playful, eh??

Tell her she has to "blow" [on] it to make it better.

And don't take no for an answer. Show it to her.

Bonus: she'll know it's more than an inch long. Win/win.