Post: #1

Share your thought-provoking jokes here, whether your own or ones you've heard.

The American Businessman and The Mexican Fisherman

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, señor?"

The American laughed and said, That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions, señor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Post: #2

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"

Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I earn the money in this family, so let's call me the capitalist. Your mom says what we spend the money on, we'll call her the government. Both of us are here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. Our nanny is representative of the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.

Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep and his father missing. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room, but there he sees the father in bed with the nanny and he can't get their attention. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good, then tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."

The little boy replies, "Well, capitalists are screwing the working class while the government is sound asleep. Meanwhile the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."

Post: #3

Good story (was posted here - /thread-11499-...83792.html )

I'll repost a video Roosh posted:

Post: #4

(10-21-2012 12:18 PM)Hencredible Casanova Wrote:  The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Always loved this one. Reminds me of a Roosh blog post 7 Things I Would Tell My Teenage Self.

Quote:Trust me when I say you’ll be much happier making $20,000 a year controlling your destiny than four times as much being controlled by someone else.

Post: #5

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7..
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner offered "Since you are all such good customers, I'm will reduce the charge of your daily beer by $20". Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by 6 is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,"but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is friendlier.

Post: #6

(10-21-2012 12:18 PM)Hencredible Casanova Wrote:  Share your thought-provoking jokes here, whether your own or ones you've heard.

The American Businessman and The Mexican Fisherman

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs.

The American then asked, but what do you do with the rest of your time?

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, señor."

The American scoffed, "I am a Wharton MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually NYC where you will run your expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But señor, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15-20 years."

"But what then, señor?"

The American laughed and said, That's the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions, señor? Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Growing up, my dad would always tell me pretty much the same anecdote, except it was a bum who spent all his time hanging out in a park and drinking from a paper bag.

But then, this is the same dad that when I was 10, offered me the following joke:

Q: Why did god give women legs?
A: So they wouldn't leave snail trails everywhere

If I would have been raised by my dad instead of my mom, pretty sure my game would be about 100x more advanced.

Post: #7

(10-21-2012 01:00 PM)Hencredible Casanova Wrote:  Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7..
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner offered "Since you are all such good customers, I'm will reduce the charge of your daily beer by $20". Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by 6 is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,"but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is friendlier.

Sure but guy number 10 is hoarding 90% of the total wealth to himself. Let's not forget that.

Post: #8

speakeasy what do you think rich people do with there money? they invest it. so assume you work as a doctor in some cases paying 35-40% of your income in federal taxes alone. then you buy some stock. obviously the stock could go down in value so its a risk to buy that. but then the government now wants to tax 40% of your capital gains and dividends on your investment.

so your work income gets taxed a lot. then you invest what you save and watch as it is taxed a lot on money thats already been taxed. fuck that.

PNC Wealth Management conducted a survey of people with more than $500,000 free to invest as they like, a fair definition of “wealthy,” and possibly “millionaire” once you begin including home equity and other assets. Only 6% of those surveyed earned their money from inheritance alone. 69% earned their wealth mostly by trading time and effort for money, or by “working.”

http://www.consumerismcommentary.com/mos...ir-wealth/

Post: #9

@Hencredible Casanova's Beer Story


This story raises a good point about the philosophy that drives political decisions.

I think that men are constantly on the look out to be allied with men who improve their situation in life. Being connected to said men will be a double investment- you get a friend and a connection to other people.

Say you see a homeless guy wearing dirty and stained flannel shirt and jeans. His face is leathery and dark tanned. He is missing some teeth and has some gold fillings. He is holding a sign. When you see him, you think he looks like a hobo.

After you leave, the same man managed to strike a conversation with a businessman. Turned out that he had some connection to the businessman's father. The businessman agreed to give him a gray suit, a white dress shirt, and shoes that were in his closet, barely worn. At his lunch break, the buisnessman delivers the promised suit. The man ambles over to a gas station. He uses hand soap to scrub down inch by inch. A pair of scissors gives him a semblance of a marine flat top haircut. Back on the street, he notices a pair of rejected plastic Ray-van knock offs.

The next day, you pass by. The homeless man is sitting outside a cafe reading a paper. He looks like a savant Hemingway-esque entrepreneur. His dark and leathery skin resulted from years of sitting at street corners; now it looks like years spent fishing in Bermuda. He chats up the barista. His gravelly voice from years of smoking makes it seem basso profundo to her. She starts feeling butterflies. That night he bangs her back in her duplex.

The moral of the story: no matter your station in life, embracing the circumstances you find yourself in and clearing your mind can lead to opportunities that you couldn't recognize in a haze of being downtrodden.

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are." -Teddy Roosevelt

Post: #10

A manager at Goldman Sachs has this to tell.

Once upon a time in a village, a man announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10. The villagers, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them.

The man bought thousands at $10 and as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort.

He further announced that he would now buy at $20. This renewed the efforts of the villagers and they started catching monkeys again.

Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms. The offer rate increased to $25 and the supply of monkeys became so little that it was an effort to even see a monkey, let alone catch it.

The man now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50!

However, since he had to go to the city on some business, his assistant would now buy on behalf of him.

In the absence of the man, the assistant told the villagers, "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that the man has collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when the man returns from the city, you can sell it to him for $50."

The villagers squeezed up with all their savings and bought all the monkeys.

Then they never saw the man nor his assistant, only monkeys everywhere!

Welcome to Goldman Sachs!

Post: #11

A store that sells husbands has recently opened in New York.


The store has become very popular, but there are a few simple rules:

Women may only enter the store ONCE to make a purchase. There are 6 floors, and the attributes of the men for sale on each floor are detailed outside. Although you can choose a man from any floor, once you have entered a particular floor you must make a purchase there. You cannot go back down, except when you exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a lifelong partner. On the first floor the sign outside reads: 'Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord'. She moves on up.

On the next floor the sign reads: 'Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord and love kids'. She keeps going.

The sign outside the third floor reads: 'Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good-looking'. Still she moves on up.

Next she sees the sign: 'Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are extremely good-looking and help with the housework'. Excited now, again she proceeds to the next floor.

The sign outside the fifth floor reads: 'Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak'. Although tempted to make her purchase from this floor, she can't wait to see what's available on the sixth.

Reaching for the door-handle to enter the floor area, she notices the sign outside. 'Floor 6 - You are visitor number 4,634,289 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists simply to prove that women are impossible to please'.

Post: #12

(10-21-2012 03:45 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  A store that sells husbands has recently opened in New York.


The store has become very popular, but there are a few simple rules:

Women may only enter the store ONCE to make a purchase. There are 6 floors, and the attributes of the men for sale on each floor are detailed outside. Although you can choose a man from any floor, once you have entered a particular floor you must make a purchase there. You cannot go back down, except when you exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a lifelong partner. On the first floor the sign outside reads: 'Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord'. She moves on up.

On the next floor the sign reads: 'Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord and love kids'. She keeps going.

The sign outside the third floor reads: 'Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids and are extremely good-looking'. Still she moves on up.

Next she sees the sign: 'Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are extremely good-looking and help with the housework'. Excited now, again she proceeds to the next floor.

The sign outside the fifth floor reads: 'Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak'. Although tempted to make her purchase from this floor, she can't wait to see what's available on the sixth.

Reaching for the door-handle to enter the floor area, she notices the sign outside. 'Floor 6 - You are visitor number 4,634,289 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists simply to prove that women are impossible to please'.

You forgot the second half of this joke: the wife store.

The husband store's owner opened a New Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex and are attractive.

The second floor has wives that love sex, are attractive, and know how to cook.

The third floor has wives that love sex, are attractive, know how to cook, and would great be mothers.

The fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Post: #13

(10-21-2012 04:42 PM)dragnet Wrote:  You forgot the second half of this joke: the wife store.

The husband store's owner opened a New Wives Store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex and are attractive.

The second floor has wives that love sex, are attractive, and know how to cook.

The third floor has wives that love sex, are attractive, know how to cook, and would great be mothers.

The fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

Don't know if I'd make it past the 2nd!

WIA

Post: #14

This list of dichotomies just needs some annotations, and it could be a clever primer for the red pill:




On Americans being spoiled:




I'm sure I got this from a PUA's blog/twitter, but I can't remember who to give credit to:

Post: #15

The American Right (A Satire)

The American Left (again, satire)

Post: #16

(10-21-2012 01:00 PM)Hencredible Casanova Wrote:  Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100.

If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7..
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.

So, that's what they decided to do..

The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner offered "Since you are all such good customers, I'm will reduce the charge of your daily beer by $20". Drinks for the ten men would now cost just $80.

The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes. So the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free. But what about the other six men? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his fair share?

They realized that $20 divided by 6 is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer.

So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by a higher percentage the poorer he was, to follow the principle of the tax system they had been using, and he proceeded to work out the amounts he suggested that each should now pay.

And so the fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% saving).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33% saving).
The seventh now paid $5 instead of $7 (28% saving).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% saving).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% saving).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% saving).

Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But, once outside the bar, the men began to compare their savings.

"I only got a dollar out of the $20," declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,"but he got $10!"

"Yeah, that's right," exclaimed the fifth man. "I only saved a dollar too. It's unfair that he got ten times more benefit than me!"

"That's true!" shouted the seventh man. "Why should he get $10 back, when I got only $2? The wealthy get all the breaks!"

"Wait a minute," yelled the first four men in unison, "we didn't get anything at all. This new tax system exploits the poor!"

The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.

The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had their beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!

And that is how our tax system works. The people who already pay the highest taxes will naturally get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas, where the atmosphere is friendlier.

You know, I was thinking about this when I was taking a piss at work the other day and this is what rubbed me the wrong way.

The whole metaphor thing is cute but in the real world, the scene gets played out much differently.

There's 10 guys sitting at a bar.

1 of them at the end of the bar is drinking for free. He's down in the dumps, unemployed, his girl dumped his ass, living out of his car, etc. The two guys next to him are buying him drinks because they're broke as fuck too but at least they have a job so hey, they know how it is so they're helping a bro out.

The next 4 guys are some contractors working on a project up the street. It's been a long 14 hour day and that first beer tastes mighty good. They have families to take care of, they don't necessarily love what they do but it pays the bills and "keeps the plows running" so to speak. They pay no mind to the broke dudes at the end of the bar but they eye the next 3 guys resentfully.

The next 2 guys are a couple hedge fund managers from NY passing through town. Instead of drinking a $6 beer they're pounding round after round of Grey Goose martinis. Funny thing is, they're not paying for the drinks since they know the owner, and despite the fact that they could buy the bar if they wanted to, they get this sort of treatment almost everywhere they go. Being suited up and well connected will do that for you.

The next guy is the owner's son. He stopped in to fuck the hostess while he "manages" the hospitality group that owns the bar, he's basically a figurehead. Obviously he drinks for free, but he also gets perks wherever he goes because he's "somebody" despite the fact that he didn't work a day of his life. He votes Republican because he's got a fucking sweet deal going and who the hell would give that up?

Numbers are good and all but they don't tell a story. The argument that we overtax our rich and their tax burden is too high is a pretty mute point when most of the country lives like this:



and you've got the super wealthy, those poor, tax-burded sods, living like this:

Post: #17

I heard these jokes the other day and thought you guys would find them amusing:

1) Why did the feminist cross the road?
TO SUCK MY DICK!

2) How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, the other one to SUCK MY DICK!

Aloha!

Post: #18

(10-24-2012 06:58 PM)Kona Wrote:  I heard these jokes the other day and thought you guys would find them amusing:

1) Why did the feminist cross the road?
TO SUCK MY DICK!

2) How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, the other one to SUCK MY DICK!

Aloha!

Post: #19

(10-21-2012 01:34 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  Sure but guy number 10 is hoarding 90% of the total wealth to himself. Let's not forget that.

But it's his money, not yours.

Post: #20

(10-25-2012 10:25 AM)Scarlet_Terror Wrote:  

(10-21-2012 01:34 PM)speakeasy Wrote:  Sure but guy number 10 is hoarding 90% of the total wealth to himself. Let's not forget that.

But it's his money, not yours.

Said the French citizens in 1789...

Post: #21

Woman tells a joke:

"What's the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures."



Man replies:

"What's the difference between a woman and a government bond?

The bond is worth more when it matures."

Post: #22

(08-19-2013 08:16 PM)JimNortonFan Wrote:  Woman tells a joke:

"What's the difference between a man and a government bond?

The bond matures."

Man replies:

"What's the difference between a woman and a government bond?

The bond is worth more when it matures."

Post: #23

"The chief was very old, and had seen many things, which was why the men from the Bureau of Indian Affairs approached him. They were curious about something. “Chief, you’ve seen the progress the white man has made, all the technology, the great cities, all the things we’ve done. What do you think of it all?” The old man looked at them for awhile, then replied, ”Before the white man came we had no taxes, no bills. Women did all the work. Medicine man was free. Food was plentiful. Indian men hunted and fished all day, and made love all night. Only the white man is stupid enough to think he could improve on that.”

Post: #24

A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says make me one with everything

Post: #25

(08-20-2013 09:30 AM)Architekt Wrote:  A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says make me one with everything

The vendor gives him a hot dog and the buddhist gives him a twenty dollar bill. After a moment of waiting, the buddhist asks, "Where's my change?"

The vendor smiles and says, "Ah, change must come from within."