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Damage Control
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TheMan Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Damage Control
(10-04-2012 01:32 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  
(10-04-2012 12:18 AM)TheMan Wrote:  

You're in better shape than I thought if she's toeing the "I hate kids line."

Women who are consciously or unconsciously angling for the kid tend to attempt tighter and tighter control as a platform for their pregnancy/infant care.

If you can get your own place, or perhaps if that's impossible, a place with an older experienced ugly guy who knows how to mind own business, it might be worth it to hang onto her if you can.

Reliable sex makes for a much more confident and resilient player.


I agree 100%
10-05-2012 12:12 AM
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TheMan Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Damage Control
(10-04-2012 03:59 PM)xsplat Wrote:  I think the one-itis worry is unfounded. Nothing wrong with being into a girl and appreciating her. It's not like women are fungible - they aren't all the SAME. Some are better, some are worse, and all of us prefer to go after the higher quality girls.

Having enough sense to hold on to a girl that you are into isn't "one-itis". It's just good common sense.

One-itis is where you are more into the girl than she is into you. It's an obsession and fear of loss. It isn't merely preferring to continue dating a cool chick that you click with.

Don't start shit with your housemate until he's out of your place or you have moved out. Have boundaries, but don't get into a physical altercation or even much of an emotional one while you are under the same roof. Housemates can be unpredictable and vengeful, and you don't want the bad vibe. Just cold shoulder him and tell him you don't appreciate him putting his nose in your business. Tell him that you live together, but that doesn't mean you've hired him to be some sort of authority over your life. The guy obviously has issues; he is likely jealous and doesn't want anyone else to be getting more than he is, so he wants to drag you down to his despicably low fatty fucking level. It burns him up inside to see someone else playing by a different set of rules, and it's unlikely he'll have the introspection to notice he's only limiting himself, but you just might be able to point out the boundary issues and have him respect them. He's not your daddy, and your life is not his responsibility. Start calling him "hall monitor Bill", or whatever his name is. Fucking dorm cop.

Or be snide to the extreme, and start calling him Dad, alternated with Officer, and Mom, and be obsequious in asking for advice on all matters of moral authority. "Thanks Mom, what would I do without you! Do you think it's ok if I go get smokes? Can I drink a beer Mom? What would I do if I ever lived by myself? Without you as my hall monitor I'd be astray. Thank the lord for your wise guidance Mom."

Haha officer bill! Gold Jerry GOLD.

I'm really glad to hear that someone else feels the same about the "one-itis " thing as it really doesn't feel like one-itis at all to me. But as I'm relatively new to all this And as we humans can seldom see the forest for the trees I willing to defer to my "elders" here.
10-05-2012 12:19 AM
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TheMan Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Damage Control
(10-04-2012 03:59 PM)xsplat Wrote:  The guy obviously is jealous and doesn't want anyone else to be getting more than he is, so he wants to drag you down to his despicably low fatty fucking level. It burns him up inside to see someone else playing by a different set of rules,
Jealous is an understatement. I love the look on his face in the morning when he's waiting for her to finish ironing my shirt and slacks for the day.

Or when she talks to me like the man she loves and respects instead of how his bloated harpy addresses him (like a retarded puppy dog that induces her disgust, slightly more than her need to mother it)
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2012 12:32 AM by TheMan.)
10-05-2012 12:20 AM
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TheMan Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Damage Control
(10-04-2012 04:22 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  If you like the girl, stay with her. I am not anti-girlfriend. Girlfriends are a lot of fun.

But stay with her on your terms.

If she is bugging out about what your roommate told her, tell her to walk.

Amen bruv.
10-05-2012 12:22 AM
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TheMan Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Damage Control
Have any of you guys ever experienced something similar?
10-05-2012 01:59 AM
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xsplat Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Damage Control
I habitually do LTRs. Recently my live in somehow read my sms messages on a locked phone. I think she changed the sim card to do so as I had neglected to have the settings forbid that. She saw texts to new and old girls. She's seen new girls pop up on facebook. Hell, she's even known about me fucking other girls. Even more - after meeting her and being disappointed I moved another girl in as a live in - so for the first 4 months she was my number two girl.

I never say a word. Nothing. No comment. She's extremely jealous, and sometimes I threaten to kick her out for it. But I don't get into it. I just never talk, one way or the other. I act as if it's none of her business and I don't want to talk about it, and when she goes on and on about relationship stuff I am silent. I often tell her "Shhh. Stop talking", or "Don't talk about relationship, have one". Very occasionally "You're so greedy. You want 100% of my time and attention. Don't squeeze a bar of soap to tightly or it will slip out of your hand. Would you rather have 80% of my time or 0%?"
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2012 02:52 AM by xsplat.)
10-05-2012 02:08 AM
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TheMan Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Damage Control
(10-05-2012 02:08 AM)xsplat Wrote:  I habitually do LTRs. Recently my live in somehow read my sms messages on a locked phone. I think she changed the sim card to do so as I had neglected to have the settings forbid that. She saw texts to new and old girls. She's seen new girls pop up on facebook. Hell, she's even known about me fucking other girls. Even more - after meeting her and being disappointed I moved another girl in as a live in - so for the first 4 months she was my number two girl.

I never say a word. Nothing. No comment. She's extremely jealous, and sometimes I threaten to kick her out for it. But I don't get into it. I just never talk, one way or the other. I act as if it's none of her business and I don't want to talk about it, and when she goes on and on about relationship stuff I am silent. I often tell her "Shhh. Stop talking", or "Don't talk about relationship, have one". Very occasionally "You're so greedy. You want 100% of my time and attention. Don't squeeze a bar of soap to tightly or it will slip out of your hand. Would you rather have 80% of my time or 0%?"

Haha nice statements. Gonna steal the soap one.


It may not help in your specific situation as she changed out your sim card, but if you're on iPhone or Android, try "go SMS " as is got a private box feature that hides all smses, entire conversations from specific users. And when they cone in you can have the privatized SMS notification show as whatever
(This post was last modified: 10-08-2012 12:24 AM by TheMan.)
10-08-2012 12:23 AM
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TheMan Offline
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Post: #33
RE: Damage Control
(10-05-2012 02:08 AM)xsplat Wrote:  I habitually do LTRs. Recently my live in somehow read my sms messages on a locked phone. I think she changed the sim card to do so as I had neglected to have the settings forbid that. She saw texts to new and old girls. She's seen new girls pop up on facebook. Hell, she's even known about me fucking other girls. Even more - after meeting her and being disappointed I moved another girl in as a live in - so for the first 4 months she was my number two girl.

I never say a word. Nothing. No comment. She's extremely jealous, and sometimes I threaten to kick her out for it. But I don't get into it. I just never talk, one way or the other. I act as if it's none of her business and I don't want to talk about it, and when she goes on and on about relationship stuff I am silent. I often tell her "Shhh. Stop talking", or "Don't talk about relationship, have one". Very occasionally "You're so greedy. You want 100% of my time and attention. Don't squeeze a bar of soap to tightly or it will slip out of your hand. Would you rather have 80% of my time or 0%?"

Haha nice statements. Gonna steal the soap one.


It may not help in your specific situation as she changed out your sim card, but if you're on iPhone or Android, try go SMS as is got a private box feature that hides all smses, entire conversations from specific users. And when they cone in you can have the privatized SMS notification show as whatever
10-08-2012 01:43 AM
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