Post: #26

(09-26-2012 01:00 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(09-26-2012 12:42 PM)pitt Wrote:  How does palm reading works? Do you actually understand it or you just talk shit to them?

I just make it up. I say it half jokingly. I say stuff that fake psychics say like...

you will have trouble finding success in relationships

and

you have some deep childhood issues

It's mostly a joke meant to get the conversation going.

Actually i used to do the same years ago but i would usually try to keep it funful. Your lines can be quiet offensive, do they usually respond well to these lines?


Anyway, to each his own.

Post: #27

(09-28-2012 08:35 AM)pitt Wrote:  

(09-26-2012 01:00 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(09-26-2012 12:42 PM)pitt Wrote:  How does palm reading works? Do you actually understand it or you just talk shit to them?

I just make it up. I say it half jokingly. I say stuff that fake psychics say like...

you will have trouble finding success in relationships

and

you have some deep childhood issues

It's mostly a joke meant to get the conversation going.

Actually i used to do the same years ago but i would usually try to keep it funful. Your lines can be quiet offensive, do they usually respond well to these lines?


Anyway, to each his own.

Keeping it playful is very important. Being overly serious is a turn off.

It's a joke and my tone is joking. But, it does get them to open up a bit and talk.

Post: #28

(09-26-2012 08:03 AM)Coyote Wrote:  XXL - the response to your question is: Both.

I'd like to improve both....

Talking less (you know as needed but not running the show continuously ( I can do it but it gets boring) and always having fun.

The having fun thing I do some times and often really at the expense of getting numbers and pick ups... sometimes I just don't give a fuck and having fun takes quick priority...

to me there are two main ways to be the anchor of the conversation. taking the role of the judge (talking less) or the entertainer (small talk).


1) being the judge

being the judge is about listening and giving approval/disapproval. when you talk you actually talk very little. you listen. you tell others to tell you this or that. you ask others for their opinions. you encourage others to talk more about something you like. basically you put yourself in the position of the judge who's interested in what others have to say and you just sit there (like jury) and listen while others talk and talk and talk to impress you.

beware cause it may fuck you up a bit hahaha. at one point this angle worked so well for me that i couldn't believe that i put so much effort to entertain girls with stories and funny shit to get their attention. i thought any kind of talking is useless since i can just say to a girl in very decisive/assertive tone of voice "hey!.. who are you?" (or anything that fits the frame) and sit there and listen to her talking and talking.

this is also very effective when you just don't feel like talking. you simply shut up, hold eye contact and ask engaging questions. tension builds. people crack up fast. and start talking like crazy to lessen that tension in the air. from distance it looks like everybody strive to impress you. and you just watch listen and throw out short responses/questions to steer the conversation.


example:

- what do you think about xyz?
- blablabla blablabla...
- interesting, tell me more
- blablabla blablabla...
- aha
- blablabla blablabla...
- you know i don't think that way
- blablabla blablabla blablabla blablabla...
- what made you think so?
- blablabla blablabla...
- and what do YOU think? [point at other person]
- blablabla blablabla...
- yeah i feel like it too
- blablabla blablabla...
- i guess we're on the same page then
- blablabla blablabla...
- no
- blablabla blablabla...
- yes
- blablabla blablabla..
- why?
- blablabla blablabla...
- no way!
- blablabla blablabla...



2) being the entertainer

this is harder cause you have to develop that FLOW when you can just talk and talk and talk. to me it's not even about being funny/witty, more about being unpredictable, surprising and engaging people in the convo.

i've learned A LOT from californication tv series, great display of wordplay, humor, chill vibe, assertiveness, devil may care attitude, comebacks, imagination, etc.. definitely good example that beside talking just to talk, small talk can be fun and cool.

also check VERBAL SKILLS link in my signature below, some tips there also.

Post: #29

(09-26-2012 08:24 AM)Thomas the Rhymer Wrote:  

(09-25-2012 11:22 AM)PJ25 Wrote:  Roosh reccomends Seinfeld, I like watching late night talk shows (Leno) and watch how they interact with the stars.

After I've finished my current book summary (I'm summarising How to Win Friends and Influence People, I'll post it in the lifestyle forum when I'm done), I'm going to write an epic post on why Seinfeld is good for your conversation skils, written from a neuroscience perspective. Basically we are subconsciously programmed to imitate what we see, and Seinfeld dialogue follows the statement-statement-question/punchline model, so by watching it we can't but help talking like that after a while...

Here's the post I promised:

WHY YOU SHOULD WATCH SEINFELD

One of the reasons that the human race has managed to achieve its position of dominance is due to the ability of ideas to defuse through its social networks. This includes technologies, languages, cultural norms, philosophies, and behaviours. The mechanism whereby behaviour, in particular, spread through human to human deserve special attention.

We naturally tends to copy the behaviours of our contacts and role models; furthermore, recent research has shown that we copy the behaviours of the contacts of our contacts. In other words, if you are friends with someone who is friends with someone who is good at making money, you yourself would become better at making money even if you do not know that third person directly. Conversely, if your friends with someone who is friends with someone who is obese, you're more likely to end up gaining weight even if you do not know that obese person directly.

This is due to the phenomenon of mirroring. Humans are genetically programmed to unconsciously imitate the behaviours of those they watch and hear. Whether you like it or not, everyone around you is successfully telling you what to do.

For more detailed analysis of this, please read this article:
http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/0...ts-spread/

Which brings us to our topic of Seinfeld.

If you want to be talkative, if you want to ramble on and on about minor things, then you need to surround yourself with people who can do that, all you need to watch people who do that.

Seinfeld was a unique show. Much of the banter on the show followed the statement statement question pattern described in Roosh's book, 'Day Bang.' Much of the show consists of rambles on trivial subjects.
Regardless of whether you're gaming or networking, you need to be able to talk nonstop to warm up your targets. If you're struggling to talk, then you can hijack your mirror neurons by watching an episode of Seinfeld a day. This will trigger parts of the brain that control conversation. You'll find yourself more talkative and discussing the minutae of life.

Post: #30

the last two posts deserve their own thread... great stuff guys.

Post: #31

Overview
I have perspective on this issue regarding banter as an introvert who has been doing cold approaches for years despite not being naturally proficient at banter/small talk. I will decribe how I perceive the issue and what to do about it.

Introverts vs Extroverts
This is a bit oversimplified but it outlines the differences in brains between introverts and extroverts and how it affects banter.
Extroverts - Extroverts are short term memory dominant. They have a constant flow of stuff popping into their head from their short term memory. Small talk is easy for them because things to talk about constantly pop into their head. They walk up to a girl and then they just have to pick something that pops into their head and talk about it.
Introverts - Introverts are long term memory dominant. They are often quiet because things don't constantly pop into their head. Things only pop into their head when an association is triggered. Therefore if they walk up to a girl and if no associations are triggered in their brain then their mind is blank and there is nothing to talk about. Once one association is triggered then that gets the ball rolling and banter/small talk becomes easy.

Memorizing Material - don't do it
There have been a lot of great ideas in this thread about what to talk about. I've fallen into the trap of pre-canning things to talk about but it never helps. When you are accessing something to talk about in conversation from rote memory, it is a different part of the brain that is not association based. Therefore once you go through your routine stack no associations are triggered and the girl you are talking to will just think you are weird.

How Introverts cannot get the ball rolling
You cannot consciously tell your brain to begin free associating and give you things to say. Any time you consciously try to get your brain to free associate you will activate the wrong part of your brain and nothing will pop into your head to talk about. You will just look like an idiot.

How Introverts can get the ball rolling
From my experience the best way is to just have a few really stupid simple questions to ask girls. The first several sets you will walk up to the girls and ask the stupid questions. They will think you are boring as shit and the interaction will only last a little while.

Eventually your subconscious mind will pick up on something and give you something to talk about. You will stop asking the stupid questions you have been asking because better things are naturally entering your mind. At this point you will become witty and interesting. Once this part of your brain activates you will all of a sudden become a master at small talk and conversation.

Closing Thoughts
As an introvert there will be moments where you have nothing to say and are a boring as shit. Other times, once your subconscious starts to free associate, you will all of a sudden become interesting and a great conversationalist. Therefore as an introvert you have to cold approach a lot and have lots of short/boring interactions until your subconscious mind starts feeding you material. Just be patient and it will happen.

Post: #32

Introverts - Introverts are long term memory dominant. They are often quiet because things don't constantly pop into their head. Things only pop into their head when an association is triggered. Therefore if they walk up to a girl and if no associations are triggered in their brain then their mind is blank and there is nothing to talk about. Once one association is triggered then that gets the ball rolling and banter/small talk becomes easy.


That's me in a nutshell. Once I get rolling it's all good as I can associate something that seems completely unrelated and jump from subject to subject.

Just need something to start with.