Post: #1

So, I am sitting here at Panera killing time until it is time to go pick my girls up from school.

The lunch rush has died down but there are still a fair number of people coming in. I spot them as they walk in. He holds the door to let her pass through first. How Chivalrous. Or maybe it's because she is so fat she takes up the entire door jamb!

Now, he is no Olympic athlete. He looks as though he has never missed a meal either. At first I thought they were a couple but as I watched the body language, eavesdropped and observed the interaction I realized my first impression was incorrect.

They are coworkers. He is clearly excited to be here with her, though. I am sure he wishes they were a couple. He is all smiles, talking like an idiot, etc. I am sure he paid for her lunch. I am apalled that this guy, as betarifffic as he is, is so enthralled with her. She has a cute face...but come on!

Her ass is larger than both my thights together! Part of each ass cheek is hanging off the chair. I can see the fat of her lower back spilling over her too tight elastic waist pants because she has a shirt on that is too short to cover her girth. Did I mention she has short hair as well?

She has looked at me a few times and smiled. She made a feeble attempt to pickup a pen that I dropped and rolled over by their table. When the pager vibrated to let them know their order was ready he told her not to worry that he would get their food.

She just tried to engage me in small talk. Asking what I am writing as I am typing so quickly. She said she wished that she was able to type so quickly. (Yeah, maybe if your fingers weren't so fat you could!)

When he came back with the two trays he saw her talking/smiling at me and I could see he was taken aback. I wanted to tell him not to worry that she was all his but I just nodded in his direction and put my headphones in.

As they walked out I saw her staring at me out of the corner of my eye.

This irks me for several reasons. First, it was incredibly rude for her to disregard/half listen/ignore this guy who she was there with. Second, I am angered that she was so openly leering at me. I am not trying to be rude, but I think my SMV is quite a bit higher than hers. You know if the guy she was with was staring at some hot girl he would be called a creep and a loser.

Maybe it is my own fault since I am always polite and kind to everyone. For some reason I am always the person people come up to ask for directions, help, etc. It must be the vibe I give off.

Anyway, I am just venting/posting my observations of today.

Post: #2

Well firstly, she is coming off the high of having her fat head even larger by some guy doting on her. So don't be offended even though it's understandable.

2nd, the accident pen drop is a good opener.

Post: #3

2nd, the accident pen drop is a good opener.
[/quote]

Very elderly indeed

Post: #4

I know I need to open more chicks, but this was most definitely NOT an attempted pickup!

Her comment about my typing reminded me of the Simpson's episode where Homer becomes obese to go on disability.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8DtbPOXFk00

Post: #5

CP,

Save your anger, if you must, for your ex-wife. Women who you have no interest in banging are not even worth thinking about. They should be invisible to you.

You're a fireman captain! Your SMV so much higher than her that she might as well be a different species.

Post: #6

I Panera Bread. That place is always packed with women.
I kicked it to a girl working there one time. She turned out to be the manager
and turned me down cause she had boyfriend. She's been hooking me up with
free food ever since

Post: #7

Parlay what was her name, Mercedes?

Post: #8

(09-14-2012 03:08 PM)Menace Wrote:  Parlay what was her name, Mercedes?

That was Lexus and she works at Taco Bell