Post: #1

Anyone ever watch the show 'Queer eye for a straight guy'?

It was 4 or 5 guy dudes who basically 'improved' men in the following ways:

1. Fashion

2. House interior

3. Ability to cook/romance women

4. Basic repair of hideous personality defects.

Funnily enough i think most people would rebound pretty quick.

Anyway so i bought a book by the main guy called Carson - who is extremely gay, it's about fashion and so far seems pretty good, quite an interesting read (interesting enough to be written by our man Socrates here! Go champ go!)

Anyway, onto my glorious life:

I will summarize some and expand on some others, here we go!

I was helping RPQ teach the BC in Beijing about two weeks ago, it was about 5am and we were sitting in KFC.

Now for those of you who haven't been to China or Mc Donalds or KFC in China....it's probably one of the most fucked up places you can be as you get drunk people, homeless people, shady dudes teaching pick up boot camps and the occasional hot chick...

I so happened to spot a hot chick and she unfortunately was with another guy, so i BUSTED out my awesome Non Verbal game (thanks RPQ) and started Gaming her non verbally, i started just by staring at her with my 'i'm so in love with you' eyes, to which she responded by being charmed of course.

I continued by using my hands to ask her if her and the dude were together or not, to which she responded with something i didn't understand, so i just kept staring at her (i was dressed quite snappily too) with longing eyes and smiling, eventually i started using my hands to communicate my phone number with my fingers (using the chinese number signs way) and then....

Scratch! (meaning story jump)

So a few months ago i was with RPQ and we'd just done a bc - it again was quite glorious, a day or so after the BC we'd decided to try and get laid.

We were in the local den of iniquity (Mix) and RPQ just opened a set on the dance floor using non verbal, there were two tall girls - both hot as hell and one of them had just blown some random C dude out as he was running the 'I have no other value so please come back to my table so i can try to intoxicate you to the point where i can bang you and you won't remember so no one need find out' game, RPQ opened one by tapping and motioning 'why did you reject that guy? because he has an ugly face'?

The girl watched this comical yet skilled display of non verbal communication and then she turned to her friend, tapped her and then the friend immediately turned to RPQ and yelled 'NO!' and then they both walked off as we both burst out laughing.

Just after this a girl dressed in white with lesbian short hair came along, RPQ opened her and she immediately took us to her table which had her, 2 girls and 2 dudes......(AWKWARD!).....

So we sat down and the drinking began!

We played this Game where you stick a piece of tissue in ur mouth and pass it to the next person who rips it and it gets smaller and smaller and if you don't pass it along you have to drink, it lead to RPQ making out with 1 or 2 of the girls while i got jack shit.

I did get pretty hammered though as the drinks kept flowing, i also got to watch my best prospect of the moment (Lesbian short hair girl) make out with some dude which was fun.

RPQ meanwhile was trying to bounce his bird with a little cushion for the pushin out the door (i think he escorted her to the toilets and was trying to bounce her to A hotel - a few minutes away) sadly to no avail as one of the friends CBed.

Skip forward a bit (i am now fairly hammered) - i jumped off the table and headed to the dance floor, i then saw a girl who reminds me of Beaker a bit (great fashion - short shorts/booty cutters, good body, nice face and can dance) and i opened her with some random shit.

She was from somewhere else in China, was 18 or 19, and alone in Beijing.

She didn't have anywhere to stay tonight - sounds perfect.

Sometime during my initial interaction with her the Lesbian Short Hair girl came along and told me that she loves me and tried to pull me back to the table and away from HBBeakerLookalike, i rejected her. (I had a bit of a Jedi moment and in real time RPQ told me I should go with LSHgirl - The other voice on the other shoulder said 'no.....go with Beakerlookalike...she looks like a screamer! go son go!' - i should have listened to RPQ)

Anyway so i brought her (HBBeakerlookalike) back to the table and continued the amusing ripping tissue with mouth game and continued the drinking awesomeness.

This would have been at around 4:30, which was a good time to have arm around nubile girl, tissue in mouth and a belly full of free alcohol - things were on the UP (or so it seemed).

Between 4:30 and 5am i seeded a bunch of random shit like, lets go look at my suitcase, i have tea in my room you can drink with me and whatever else i could think of at that time.

I thought it was going well when suddenly at 5am when i try to pull the girl says some shit about waiting till 6........I was dressed well, quite intoxicated and felt pretty much invincible at this point, so without really knowing why...i agreed (stupid stupid stupid stupid)

So we hang around doing random shit till 6 and exactly at 6am on the dot it gets WEIRD, she asks me if she can dance and NC some Foreign dude (he looked like a fucken hobo student)

I tell her no, that she is with me and wtf.

To be continued.....

Post: #2

Continued!

First I am like WTF, and while i am reeling from this weird little twist of events some 'school bag chode' appears of out the ether and my girl gets immediately spooked, the guy pushes me a bit and says that the girl is his wife, i am WTFing hardcore and i ask him what is the girls name, he tells me and it matches whatever she told me her name was, so then i WTF in her direction and she is NCing the foreign student chode....so i tell him to go away and engage her again and i ask her - wtf is going on, this chode says you are his wife and he knows your name.

As i am questioning the girl about this the chode disappears....now i got a little angry and i told the girl that if she doesn't tell me within 30 seconds WTF is going on i am going to flip out (i was testing giving people time limits around that time, in set and with other normal people to see how it affects compliance and how much pressure i can put on people).

So naturally she runs away, i am fucken livid at this point as my ONS is falling through my fingers and I have dealt with some confusing bullshit (RPQ had gone home by this point)

So i go to find the guy again and when i do he is either fucking loony or drunk and i push him against the wall and demand an explanation from him, he babbles some incoherent shit and two girls he knows come along and pull him aside, i tell them 'get him the fuck away from me or i will beat the shit out of him' (I was being extremely ungentlemanlike and belligerent - A Belligerent Australian as RPQ would put it), so he was whisked away.

I went back inside to try and find the girl, she saw me and ran off the other way, i was now well and truly fucked.

During 6am until when i left the club (6:20ish i guess?) i sent RPQ various msgs venting my not inconsiderable rage.

they sent something like:

Dude thisis so fked, i am drunk.

then there were two more (which hopefully RPQ can post) that went something like (I removed it as it's not suitable for a public forum)

I am not particularly proud of the whole event and i am not usually a drinker let alone an angry drinker....but it is a pretty good story, so here you are.

The end of it was that i went home to A hotel to cry myself to sleep without my ONS.

The morale of the story is you should listen to RPQ and hook up with Lesbian Short hair girls are aren't actually Lesbians.

Scratch:

So the girl in KFC and I were playing 'i love you eye game' and when i motioned for her to give me her number via hand signals she misinterpreted it.

So she wrote down her number on a bit of paper and when her male friend walked out the door she walked over to me and without saying anything handed me the paper, it said 'please msg me' in English and Chinese and had her number.

During the next 5 days i tried to meet her but either logistics or some evil powers stopped that from happening (I did close a 17 year old - oooooooooh that skin! though - that story will be in part two).

The weird thing is that she kept messaging me and even when i left Beijing and it was exactly a week after we'd first met she sent me a message saying 'we are both very unfortunate, it's been a week since we met'.....meaning she misses me/wants to see me again.

She seems quite keen but again none of it really matters unless i get to meet her...i will post some pics in a bit, i will continue my endeavor to semi impregnate her or at least practice!

(This is the kfc girl i NCed without even talking to her, not the girl from mix)

Post: #3

Why is my thread moved to newbie area? I'm not a newbie and it's an FR.

Post: #4

What's a RDQ a FR and NC?

Post: #5

I can't believe I just read all that....

Post: #6

(08-26-2012 03:03 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  What's a RDQ a FR and NC?

RPQ is my friend, RedpoleQ - google it if you want to know more.

The rest i trust you're smart enough to figure out on your ownski.

Post: #7

(08-26-2012 03:16 PM)manupchina Wrote:  

(08-26-2012 03:03 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  What's a RDQ a FR and NC?

RPQ is my friend, RedpoleQ - google it if you want to know more.

The rest i trust you're smart enough to figure out on your ownski.

I'm sorry I don't think I can or want to at this point. I googled that name and came up

Post: #8

(08-26-2012 03:24 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  

(08-26-2012 03:16 PM)manupchina Wrote:  

(08-26-2012 03:03 PM)el mechanico Wrote:  What's a RDQ a FR and NC?

RPQ is my friend, RedpoleQ - google it if you want to know more.

The rest i trust you're smart enough to figure out on your ownski.

I'm sorry I don't think I can or want to at this point. I googled that name and came up

Thanks for visiting.

Post: #9

You jumbled together a bunch of unrelated stories where the main one has you failing at every turn and it starts out as a book review of a gay fashionista....

It's just bizarre...

Post: #10

I'm not sure what's going on.....

Did he succeed in banging that Carson guy or not?

Post: #11

Troll. Posted same dumb shit elsewhere. C'mon guys, turn on your troll detectors:

http://www.rsdnation.com/node/240683