Post: #1

Went out solo for the 2nd time tonight. Some strange encounters. I go out around 12 to a dance club/bar. It's a bar upstairs, with pong going on too. Really only a group of girls dancing together. But I ask two chicks what's happening downstairs. They say there's more people, it's playing hip hop and it's better down there. So I go downstairs. It's playing hip hop music and the majority of the people are black. I go to the bar, get a drink but no one is in that area so I go to stand on the dance floor. See a cute girl whose friend is getting talked up by a guy so I walk up to her.

Approach 1: Do you want to dance? Girl looks at friend, friend laughs at me. Girl looks back at me and says no. I sneer and walk away.

I move to the other side of the room, where there are more chicks standing around. I stand alone among a group of guys. Slowly all the guys leave. I don’t want to move around anymore though so I stand my ground. I’m all alone. 4 girls and a guy suddenly come up and surround me. One girl, the hottest in the group, is fighting off that one guy who’s been hitting on her. One hot girl, Girl 2 isn't bad and is dressed pretty slutty, 2 fat friends. Fat Friend 1 yells at the guy “I don’t like you!”

I notice a girl I’ve met before another night out, not part of the 4 girl set. This girl is with two other ones, one of which is a definite 8. I open as she walks by me.

Approach 2: Hey we’ve met before. She says “yeah we have” with a smile. Moves away from me to her two friends.

Meanwhile, as Hot Girl in 4 set is fighting off the guy, she keeps backing up into me. I have my left thumb in my pocket, and she has positioned herself right in front of me, with her ass on my hand. I move my knuckles around on her ass and she responds by moving her ass onto my thigh. Just to make sure she knows I'm there, I move the back of my hand up and down her ass. She doesn't move away. The guy is now staring at me as if I’m stealing his girl. Hot girl is leaning up against my chest. I stare at her face. She turns her head, looks at me and says “The fuck are you looking at?”, with this ugly expression, a half sneer/half smile. I continue to just stare at her with a small smile. The guy leaves. Hot girl starts dancing to the music a centimeter away from me, facing the same direction as me. She’s directly in front of me and keeps backing her ass up in my crotch.

Approach 3 to Hot Girl: Hey, I need my personal space. Can you move? She tells me to back up. I stand my ground and ignore her.

Approach 4 to her friend: You look like you’re having the most fun here. Girl says yes. Looks away.

Approach 5 to Girl 2, second hottest of group, who was a bit farther away from me earlier, second hottest of the four: Personal space line which I’m sure this girl didn’t hear me say to Hot girl, who’s essentially stuck on me. She tells me to back up. I laugh and say “Why the fuck should I? You guys came and surrounded me.” There is a good deal of space. I was standing alone. I refuse to move. I’m pissed. I stand my ground and say very loudly “You guys go away now”. They ignore me.

Hot girl starts to grind up against my thigh. But she starts to move away when her friends glance at her. I brush away her hair on her neck to look at her tattoo. She swings around and says “What the fuck are you doing?” Girl 2, second hottest, says “Move away from her!” I ask Girl 2 what her name is. She says “Back up”. I say that’s a weird name. She smiles and looks away. Hot girl keeps dancing in front of me. Music switches and she stops. I position myself between Girl 2 and Hot girl. Girl 2 seems a bit more pliant so I keep talking to her. I put my hand on her back and lean in, ask her why she’s so pissed tonight. She leans in and says back up. I look at Hot girl, her lips are pursed and she looks legitimately angry. I look back at Girl 2 and see that she was staring at me.

Hot girl starts dancing to the song. Now her two other friends, the two fat ones, have left. Hot girl starts dancing but she’s a little bit farther away now. By which I mean, not grinding on me and dancing to the side of me. Still pretty close to me. I move towards her, put my hand on her hip. She freaks. the fuck. out. Swings around, pushes me in my chest and starts screaming “What the Fuck!” I say “Get the fuck out of my space!” She swings around and her and Girl 2 just fucking stand there. I honestly haven't moved the entire time. They still won't leave.

At this point, a fight breaks out in the middle of the dance floor. Lights switch on. They finally move away from me. I step back and start talking to another girl about how bitchy hot girl was. This chick I’m talking to just keeps laughing. I stand in the same place I’ve been standing for the past forty minutes. Eventually, annoyed as shit, I go back to the bar. I see an older chick, maybe late 20s early 30s standing alone, so I go up to her.

Approach 6: Hey what’s your name? She takes out her phone starts texting. Backs away. Points at some guy standing near the bar.

I leave the bar. Start talking to a fat chick about how the chicks in the place are nuts while smoking a cigarette. Fat chick's friend, whose a a bit chubby but decent looking comes over. Asks my name, shakes my hand, tells me she likes my hand shake, that I'm now in the club. I smile and say "Sounds good." But that chick leaves me with fat chick. I shoot the shit with her for a bit, talk about the fight with her. Then I leave and go back to my room.

Post: #2

(08-25-2012 01:49 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  Approach 1: Do you want to dance? Girl looks at friend, friend laughs at me. Girl looks back at me and says no. I sneer and walk away.

(08-25-2012 01:49 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  Approach 2: Hey we’ve met before. She says “yeah we have” with a smile. Moves away from me to her two friends.

(08-25-2012 01:49 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  Approach 3 to Hot Girl: Hey, I need my personal space. Can you move? She tells me to back up. I stand my ground and ignore her.

(08-25-2012 01:49 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  Approach 4 to her friend: You look like you’re having the most fun here. Girl says yes. Looks away.

(08-25-2012 01:49 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  Approach 6: Hey what’s your name? She takes out her phone starts texting. Backs away. Points at some guy standing near the bar.

(08-25-2012 01:49 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  I leave the bar. Start talking to a fat chick......................... Then I leave and go back to my room.

I'm reminded of the famous quote by Loa-tzu...

"The journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step"

Keep practicing dude. You will get better. Have you read Bang?

Post: #3

Be more aggressive.

Post: #4

Yeah I've read Bang and Day Bang. Got some of those openers from Bang.

I'm feeling pretty good about continuing, with more practice I think things will get better. By the time I finish my first 100 I'm sure I'll have learned a lot of valuable lessons.

And do you mean be more aggressive by pursuing girls who initially show zero interest in continuing to speak to me? Like Approach 2, follow her to her friends? Actually, in hindsight I should've just opened the group instead of just one of the trio.

Lessons I learned:

*Leave earlier. I didn't have much time to integrate into the scene and by the time I got there, I think most of the girls had already been hit on a good number of guys.

*When talking to a group, have a single target in mind. Talk to everyone but keep in mind that one girl you're trying to get. I think I should've gone with Girl 2. The hot one was real bitch, while Girl 2 didn't mind me putting my hands on her. After I started kino with Girl 2 and then tried to do the same with Hot girl, she blew up on me. Should've just stayed on Girl 2.

*Even if a chick is sort of sexually harassing you, probably not a good idea to touch her in a similar manner before conversation.

*Barrel on through conversation until a girl makes it absolutely explicit that she wants you to leave.

*Dressing better seems to make a difference. The first time I rolled out solo, I wore pretty nice clothes. I got some IOIs and caught some chicks checking me out. This time, I dressed down a bit and didn't receive much of any attention. I only caught one girl staring at me, and that was only when the four set came and surrounded me.

Post: #5

Your lines are fine. The problem must be in how you say it, i.e. your voice tone, your confidence, your body language, etc. Focus on that and use the same lines over and over again.

Post: #6

What do you look like? It seems like girls were instantly negative towards you. How were you dressed? How nervous were you?

If it's nerves making you unconfident, then do Roosh's 100 approach regiment. Just grind it out, doing a little better each time.

Post: #7

It's really amazing how much experience helps. It won't even register with you until you all of a sudden realize yourself getting a few minutes into a conversation, getting numbers, making out with a girl, her coming back to your place, her coming back to your place and banging, banging a few times a week, banging back to back nights, etc.

Basically it's all a progression. Very few people know how to shoot a basketball the first time they pick one up. After shooting a thousand free throws however, you better believe you will make many more in than the first time you picked up the ball.

Post: #8

(08-27-2012 09:38 PM)RandalGraves Wrote:  What do you look like? It seems like girls were instantly negative towards you. How were you dressed? How nervous were you?

If it's nerves making you unconfident, then do Roosh's 100 approach regiment. Just grind it out, doing a little better each time.

Some girls have told me I'm handsome before, so I don't feel like my looks are turning them off. That night I wore a red polo shirt, semi slim jeans in a light wash, and vans. The shirt and shoes had spots of paint on them, but those weren't really noticeable in the dark club.

Yeah I was nervous and my lines weren't delivered very well. I tend to mutter too which is a habit that I'm forcing myself to change. I slouch a good deal, and my default expression tends to look like a frown. Haha, I've got some shit to work on.

All in all, cold approaches will improve with practice. I'll be going out at least twice a week to off campus bars and clubs to work on it. As of this week, with classes starting, I'm focusing on social circle game and I've got three prospects. I'll keep this thread updated.

Post: #9

(08-29-2012 01:46 PM)rampant09 Wrote:  Some girls have told me I'm handsome before, so I don't feel like my looks are turning them off. That night I wore a red polo shirt, semi slim jeans in a light wash, and vans. The shirt and shoes had spots of paint on them, but those weren't really noticeable in the dark club.

Watch this video:



I had much better success after I ditched my polo shirt for alternatives. Just something to think about, everyone is different. But I was a typical college bro with flip flops and polo shirts. Ditched 'em for straight jeans, boots and fitted collared shirts. A nice watch helps too. I've been opened on my watch a few times.

(08-29-2012 01:46 PM)rampant09 Wrote:  Yeah I was nervous and my lines weren't delivered very well. I tend to mutter too which is a habit that I'm forcing myself to change. I slouch a good deal, and my default expression tends to look like a frown. Haha, I've got some shit to work on.

Looks like you know what you need to focus on. Do you work out? I started off even worse than you, but as soon as I gained about 10lbs of muscle and got a tiny bit of style -- I've been a bit more successful. Working out helps your posture, and your confidence.

Post: #10

Yeah, definitely matter of just gathering more experience. These days I don't have to use lines, I just go up to girls and say hi and ask how it's going, or if I'm already more in the zone my vibe is going to be much more playful and I might go up to a girl and say hi, put out my hand and ask "Who are you?" My frame is strong—good eye contact, don't drink—so most of the time I get compliance.

I'd say just ditch any lines you use, put your personality out there, make yourself vulnerable.

"Hey, I need my personal space. Can you move?"

You see stuff like this done precalculated isn't going to work without a playful vibe and strong sense of entitlement. You just seem like a weirdo.

I love RSD, their videos have made a world of difference in my game, recommend checking them out.

Post: #11

Went out again last night. Pretty positive night. I didn't get anything, not even a number close. But I had some good conversations with chicks. They weren't immediately turned off, one seemed pretty into me and she started kino herself. But I'm not quite sure how to isolate a girl from a group, open a group and keep everyone included. The conversations seem to peter out.

There was a legit 8 who came up to me at the bar. I asked her to buy me a drink. She said she didn't have any money. I asked her why she was at the bar. She said she was trying to get a drink for three dollars. I looked away. I had three bucks left, I should've pooled our money and bought myself a drink and had her share with me. But I didn't think of that then. I was happy to just stiff her. She was being extremely friendly, leaning in, resting her chest on my arm. But I felt like she just wanted a drink.

Sure enough, she came back a couple of minutes later and started talking to a guy near me. He bought her a drink. Then she split lol.

So that was a happy moment. Four approaches only. Two re meetings with a couple of girls, including that 8. I relaxed, smiled, wore a fitted shirt and nice jeans and shoes, and just hung out. I felt really confident, and even though I didn't get anything, it was such a substantial improvement in my vibe from other nights that I feel good.

Oh, and as far as social circle goes, I went out two nights ago with friends to a bar that's pretty popular at our college. There's a chick in my group that has been paying me a lot of attention. I'm torn over going for her or not because she's dated a friend of mine, and who wants used goods?

But my best friend has been a huge cockblock, whenever that girl has come over and danced next to me, that fucker, who's in an LTR now and thinks he's now some sort of god because of it, would come over too. His girlfriend doesn't tend to party with us so he attaches himself to me. Friday night, that chick came up next to me, put her hands and chin on my shoulder and started to whisper in my ear. And wouldn't you know it, my friend comes up and yells "What'd you say?" Fucking annoying. Nothing came of it because I couldn't get her alone.

2nd prospect in social circle was a freshman who seems to no longer be taking the same class as me.

Third prospect is my TA. She always maintains strong eye contact with me, gives off classic IOIs like preening and looking down and away. She laughs at everything I do in the class and most things I say to the professor. And, to be honest, most of that shit isn't funny.

She introduced herself to the class a couple of days ago and talked about her life. Two points stuck out to me, moments when she stared at me and looked down and away after saying it: "I enjoy getting to know my students outside of class and building intimate relations with them", and "You are all welcome to come to my studio whenever you want".

I don't need any more of a push than that. Class again on Wednesday, I'll try another conversation with her and see where it goes.

Post: #12

(09-02-2012 08:16 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  But I'm not quite sure how to isolate a girl from a group, open a group and keep everyone included.

I did something like this yesterday.

Group of 4 girls, initially only engaged the two that were in front of me. Something like 5 minutes later one of the girls that first wasn't in chatting distance had gotten closer to me and started to show some interest. Soon I was pretty much only talking to her, teasing, kinoing (arm around shoulders still face-to-face semi-hug, hand clasping etc.) very sexual vibe.

At 15 minute mark one of the girls wanted to dance and tried to get some of the girls in the group to join her. Eventually as they all started to linger towards the dance floor, I think there was some eye coding going on where basically the girl I was with showed reluctancy to go and was for a permission to stay behind.

From there I took her hand and led her away from that spot with the intention of isolating her at least a bit. Unfortunately one of her friends was cockblocky type and found us shortly after.

Post: #13

(09-02-2012 08:16 AM)rampant09 Wrote:  But my best friend has been a huge cockblock, whenever that girl has come over and danced next to me, that fucker, who's in an LTR now and thinks he's now some sort of god because of it, would come over too. His girlfriend doesn't tend to party with us so he attaches himself to me. Friday night, that chick came up next to me, put her hands and chin on my shoulder and started to whisper in my ear. And wouldn't you know it, my friend comes up and yells "What'd you say?" Fucking annoying. Nothing came of it because I couldn't get her alone.

There's two things you can do to fix this cockblocking. If he's really your best bud, you should be able to talk to him about it. When you're hanging out, bring it up. Be 80% serious but a little bit joking, so that he gets the point but it won't be awkward.

If that doesn't work, whenever you're hitting on girls with him around, and you sense he might be about to cockblock: visualize him approaching, and then you disarming him with a quip or closing him off. When it does happen, you'll do it without thinking.

I find previsualization helpful with getting my reactions correct, rather than backing off because I'm caught off guard when something bad happens.

Post: #14

I let a hookup slip through my fingers.

One of my friends is gay and he was holding a second annual coming out party. I walked into his common room an hour before the party to smoke a cigarette and saw a cute girl wearing a mini skirt and tank top. I introduced myself, settled onto the windowsill and took a drag. She asked me my name again and I smiled and said it had only been a couple of seconds and that she should say my name ten times. She did it and laughed. But my gay friend came over and told her to do a bunch of shit decorating wise outside the room so they left.

Some other buddies come by and we sit and chat for a bit. One of them has a vape so we start in on that. Two of the other guys start helping the girl decorate while me and the other friend sit and smoke. Eventually the girl ditched those two guys to come and smoke with us. I show her how to use the vape, using that time to start touching. She asks if she can smoke with us sometime and I tell her I'll consider it.

Things are looking pretty good. She sits next to me on the window sill. I ask her where she's from and guess Africa (she's obviously hispanic). She laughs and we start talking about general stuff (summer, major, room location) and I pepper everything with jokes to keep it light. I call over one of my friends because she lives in his old room and he starts telling stories about it. Eventually she excuses herself to start the music. The friend I called over leaves, and she comes back and sits on the windowsill with me again. I pretty much just mock all of her responses. She points to a strobe light and says how cool it is, and I told her she should get one and take it with her everywhere she goes. She cracks up at this.

In the meantime the party is filling out. That chick that my friend was cockblocking me with a week ago is there. She comes over to the window sill and I introduce her. They start talking. I start talking to my friend. Eventually, I give that chick who came over an empty beer bottle to throw away so she'd leave.

She gives me a taste of her drink and asks me if she has enough vodka, and I tell her no. She goes to the bar and adds shots.

Conversation hits a lull. The girl asks me if I dance. I say yes. She starts moving a bit on the windowsill. Now, a weakness right now is that though I can move to music, it's in this goofy way that I feel self conscious about. So she gets up and starts dancing with another one of my friends who is an extremely good dancer.

But she comes back again and sits next to me. She's resting her leg on mine, and is happy to ignore everyone except me. And then a guy comes and she jumps up, turns to me, puts her hands on my thigh leans in and says "he's my best friend", and rushes over to him.

I take this moment to leave the party to buy another pack of cigarettes. When I get back, the lights are off but most everyone is still talking. I walk around and make conversation. Everyone there is part of my crew so it's easy for me to mingle.

The girl is dancing around the room with her girlfriends and keeps shooting me glances. But I think fuck no I'm not going to dance with her. It seemed silly to do so in a room where people where largely just hanging out.

Much later, the girl leaves. A friend gives me a heads up, tells me she's gone. I leave to follow her. As I'm going, I catch that other chick dancing and telling me to come over. I take satisfaction in pursuing something better. I go out to the bathroom, splash water on my face, and head downstairs. I catch one of my friends on the stairs, who I'm pretty certain was following the same chick lol, and I tell him to go outside with me for a cigarette.

We sit outside, talk to people, and then that girl finally walks right by us. No idea where she was before. And she seems obviously irked. Says she's going to bed and then glares at me.

Asks my friend what his name is. She says "oh wow that's an awesome name". Her chin's in the air and she looks at me when she says this. I tell her he lives with me, and that we've lived together since freshman year. She says the bond she has with her roommates can't be matched. I tell her that it's pretty hard to top my relationship with my friend, and for her to get back to me when she's a senior. She goes on about how she sings and dances and yaddy yaddy ya. The whole tone of the conversation is pretty pointed. It was "look what you missed!" I ask her to serenade me with a song for a couple of seconds and she gets nervous and says she'd sing if someone had a guitar. My friend says that I play, but I'd left my guitar at home for the year. I say that it was just a phase and that I'm beyond that now, and that she'd feel the same way about her hobbies when she was older.

At that point her roommates come by from somewhere, and her roommates are typical residents of our school: not down to party, very awkward. And she looks slutty as fuck next to these girls, chatting up two guys while wearing a skirt that barely dips past her groin.

So she peaces. A girl who seemed so damn dtf, and because I felt uncomfortable dancing with her I didn't seal the deal.

Another lesson. A positive night. Could have been better of course. But what I take pleasure in are little indications of how my attitude has changed. Dismissing a girl by giving her trash, playfully teasing a girl for what she says (which was far easier to do when I just said whatever was on my mind, it's starting to turn out that that inner voice in my head is pretty damn mocking), and noticing that I was one of the more muscled dudes in the room due to my two months of gym work made me feel good.

But, there was still fear and anxiety at standing out. I also felt deeply sorry for that girl. When she was a freshman, she was cute but dressed badly. Now a sophomore, she seems to be dressing in a way she doesn't feel entirely comfortable with. And she didn't seem to have too much experience flirting. I'd throw her a slight piece of approval and she would respond with ten times the amount of enthusiasm. And I felt sad that the world could be this way and that this confused girl who had no idea what she wanted could be so easily swayed.

And I felt angry because my friends seemed to be convinced that this girl just wanted to fuck anyone. I'm 100% certain that this girl was only into me. How is that not fucking obvious? She ignored every dude there except for me. But just because she seemed into me all my friends seemed to just think that she was some slut looking for any guy, and that they all "definitely would've gotten her". I'm starting to realize that my friends are pretty shitty at understanding the opposite gender. And I'm starting to realize that three years of "looking for love" in relationships has lowered their opinion of me as a guy who can hook up with girls.

And so the transformation continues. I hope that these posts prove helpful to others in their own personal quests.