Ok, my montevideo trip is over, here's everything I did and learned.
SUMMARY OF NIGHTLIFE:
Parque rodo area is best:
Wed, Thurs, Fri, Sat: Lola
Thursday/Fri/sat: Jackson Bar (arrive before 12 to get in), volvē mi negra, ,doña marta, Después Te Explico, Mona, Il tempo (gay bar?)
MY EXPERIENCE:
Friday:
Came to Bartolomé Mitre @ 2am. There's a group of small free entry clubs around el pony pisador. The quality was STRIKINGLY lower than what I saw in parque rodo yesterday. Didn't see anything above a 6. Guy to girl ratio was atrocious. Down by la Ronda there was a bar called Bluzz that was full at 3am, but still a ton of dudes and none of those super fine girls i saw last night.
Ubered for $3 to volvē mi negra. It wasn't the Sea of young girls like yesterday, but MUCHO better. Plenty of work to be done. Still an older crowd but these girls are all in shape. Also a small bar next door with a few girlsl. at 4:30am went to Lola. They were still letting ppl in at 5. There were a ton of people sitting out in the street because Después Te Explico across the street was packed too. Jackson Bar down the street must have been the main party because there was a huge line of taxis at 6am. This is definitely the younger party part of town. I would NEVER go back to Bartolomé.
Saturday: came to Mercado Del for day game as recommended. I got there at 5:30pm and I guess that was too late. All the restaurants were putting up their chairs and cleaning the floors. I don't get how these ppl party till 7am then get up to go shopping at noon??
Came to pocitos in the evening and asked people at the beach and hostel if there are any clubs in pocitos. Many people I asked confirmed most the clubs in pocitos are gone. The only busy place I found in the vicinity was Montevideo beer company where ppl were all sitting at tables outdoors. (Apparently there is one club near Montevideo shopping center that has electronic music sometimes) So parque rodo definitely is the hot spot in town now.
Saturday night:
Came to Jackson Bar at 2am. There were over 100 people in a semi circle trying to get in. It's only open on Fri/Sat and judging from the hot young girls in line I'd guess there's no age limit or maybe 18+. It's salsa/reggaeton etc. Talked to girls outside for 45 min until the bouncers finally told us all no one was getting in. So we went to Después Te Explico. Extremely dark and crowded & pretty small. Super hard to go verbal game but if you're good at Latin dancing there def plenty of cuties to hit on. Then girls took me to doña marta down the street. It was exactly the same as Despues (dark /packed/latin music) but the girls seemed younger. That was probably the hottest girls I saw other than the semi-circle around jackson bar. And girls were getting drunk; sets were opening very easily.
I Walked by Lola too & there were super cute girls out smoking. So that place seems a safe bet Thurs/Fri/sat
Sunday: Crazy rain storm so didn't go out during day. At 2am there wasn't a soul in sight or anything open at Parque Rodo.
Monday: bar rodo on españa was open. Just a hand full of dudes eating/drinking at tables and a couple girls sprinkled in. No girl only tables. Found a big carnival performance that ended at 1:30. All old ppl & children. Found a couple cuties to approach but everyone was tired and worried about work in the morning.
Tue: LA Ronda in old town at 11:30 was useless. But then I wandered over to cafe Fenix which had a live band and tons of ppl. Ppl said it's a special event so I'm no help on what to do on a random Tuesday.
Wed: came to a techno party at "the spot" in parque rodo. Girls got in free till 1 so I showed up at 1. Place was PACKED with STUNNERS. Definitely none of the old busted girls like were at bartalome mitre. It was a bit of fool's gold cause no one was drinking and all the girls were high on fucking ketamin. I hate that shit. Turns everyone into antisocial zombies. Still had a great time tho due to the sheer number of girls available to practice getting blown off by haha. After the spot, I worked on the outflow of Lola (so at minimum I would go there on wednesday and skip azabache cafe!)
Thurs: Lola again
Friday: came to a carnival parade at about 11. It felt pretty dangerous. All the stores were barred up and would only hand beers out to you.
Finally came to Jackson Bar at 11:30 to ensure I got in. The whole place was just people sitting eating. But the place was big and had lots of cuties so I just worked the smoking area. By 1 they had cleared out tables from the dance floor and that end of the bar was full party mode so approaching anyone was easy.
Saturday: came to Mona, ( also in parque rodo). Was same format: dark, Latin music, crowded, tons of cute young girls
TAKEAWAYS:
As mentioned by others, random hookups don't seem to be OK here. Making out in the club seemed quite common though.
For all 3 girls I got horny enough in the club to let me finger them: my normal technique of fingering em a bit then pulling back didn't work at all here. All three girls once I stopped, and they came back to their senses, all attraction was gone. They had no problem grabbing my cock but their vaginas are these untouchable things. I lost MANY girls here who were completely in love with me by over escalating. (Full disclosure: I had just been visiting my parents for a month w/o gaming so my calibration was off. Also I was hitting on girls who were a bit younger than I'm used to... lots told me they were virgins)
I don't remember any true bitch shields on girls I would approach. 99% of girls would at least give me a chance and ask de donde eres? If you approach a girl that's a little tipsy there's a pretty high chance any sober friends will go into violent-bitch protective Cock block mode. Also some girls on the streets will be too shy to talk so may run away but that's normal anywhere.
I agree parque rodo clubs are by far the highest concentration of hot YOUNG girls (16+) I've ever seen at a nightclub. The only places I've seen more girls of this caliber are USC frat parties, Chapman undie run, and certain music festivals (e.g. Sziget)
Side tip #1: getting a Brazil visa in Montevideo is ULTRA easy. Never waited more than 5 min in line at consulate. Dropped off passport Friday, got visa Monday $205 total.
tip #2: $10, 24hour "rented" ticket from flyonward.com worked like a charm again to prove outbound travel from Brazil. (Also worked for Russian visa)
tip #3: Parque hostel is cheap, right in the middle of all the good bars, and no one in the office after 11pm so you can bring in girls and bang em in the bathroom/kitchen/awesome rooftop
tip #4: Google maps doesn't work for bus schedules here. You have to download an app called moovit which has the same function. I was absolutely dying here the first week until some girl showed me moovit (also works in tons of other cities).
#5 everyone said February is the worst time to come. From Christmas thru January there are great parties, but the carnival in February is for older people or thieves.
I attached some pics I took out at the club or pulled some Facebook bikini pics of girls I met to give u an idea of what an AVERAGE girl looks like down here.
https://www.flickr.com/gp/[email protected]/YkbB28