Saw two fit girls wearing workout pants at the market.

Have you been running?
No we've been hiking at blah blah
Interesting I'm going hiking at [another place] today (I was wearing athletic clothes too)

We talked a little then I said "Do you guys wanna be in touch, maybe we go on a hike together." One of them looked at the other and the other nodded. Gave her my phone to write down my number. Was in the 7-8 range and looked very young. Texted her the next day with "Hello outdoorsy girl" but no response after a day.

(04-03-2017 07:21 AM)duedue Wrote:  Saw two fit girls wearing workout pants at the market.

Have you been running?
No we've been hiking at blah blah
Interesting I'm going hiking at [another place] today (I was wearing athletic clothes too)

We talked a little then I said "Do you guys wanna be in touch, maybe we go on a hike together." One of them looked at the other and the other nodded. Gave her my phone to write down my number. Was in the 7-8 range and looked very young. Texted her the next day with "Hello outdoorsy girl" but no response after a day.

First, mad props for opening a two set. However...

... opening a two (or bigger) set with intention to get a girl on a date is an advanced move. If you don't consistently get 'normal' sets on a date (say, 1 out of 10 or fewer girls you open), then don't expect much (let's be frank - don't expect anything).

Closing under a pretext of going for a hike a weak move. Girls may not be smart, but they ain't stupid, they know what's up. They just very indirectly fobbed you off. Girls never value men who try to weasel in under some lame excuse. If you went bold, the result may still have been the same, but they'd respect you for showing balls and be clear about what you were after.

I'll give you an example. Was at M&S store, then saw a chick minimally taller the me, very cute and with a body of a swimsuit model. Unfortunately she was with her friend (or sister), who was even taller, some six foot tall gal. I will admit, I felt somewhat intimidated. They didn't look like tourists, so followed them a bit around the store, decided not to open hoping she'll be in that store by herself one day (I frequent it almost daily and I see lots of regular shoppers there). However, if I felt very strong with excellent vibe, having got some numbers already, I'd choose the moment they'd separate, even for 10 seconds and then jump in.

Which brings me to your situation. If very unlikely to see any of them in the same spot again, I'd observe the situation to see if they were in a hurry or exploring the market. If the latter, there was a chance they'd separate for a bit or one would go to the toilet. Then, I'd make a quick, bold open to get my point across and hope for the best. Inevitably, the friend would come back which could've been played to your advantage by showing a higher social acuity - acknowledge the other girl, introduce yourself, shake her hand, and be polite: "I've just been talking to your friend, do you mind giving us a minute?" More as a statement than a question. If the first girl would like me, she'd eye-code the other to let me continue and close. I'd be briefer than usual and finish around 5 minutes mark.

Otherwise, if there was no chance to get one on one, I'd make a very indirect approach and seem to appear, say, at the same stall and make an observational remark and try to draw them into a conversation and try to show I'm interesting/funny for long enough I'd kill their momentum. If none of us would be in a hurry and vibe would be excellent, then perhaps I'd bounce them for drinks/food and at some point made it clear which one I liked (or liked the one who'd give me more eyes, if both cute), perhaps say to the one I didn't want "looks like your friend seems into me... and I might like her too."

All in all, very unlikely scenario, I wouldn't bother with 2+ sets, for it requires a plethora of fortuitous elements. Having said that, if a girl or girls were of true beauty, either go very bold direct or very indirect. If you can get one of the girls on her own, even just for 10 to 30 seconds, proceed as normal (in my case, indirect-direct).

(04-03-2017 08:45 AM)ksbms Wrote:  

(04-03-2017 07:21 AM)duedue Wrote:  Saw two fit girls wearing workout pants at the market.

Have you been running?
No we've been hiking at blah blah
Interesting I'm going hiking at [another place] today (I was wearing athletic clothes too)

We talked a little then I said "Do you guys wanna be in touch, maybe we go on a hike together." One of them looked at the other and the other nodded. Gave her my phone to write down my number. Was in the 7-8 range and looked very young. Texted her the next day with "Hello outdoorsy girl" but no response after a day.

First, mad props for opening a two set. However...

... opening a two (or bigger) set with intention to get a girl on a date is an advanced move. If you don't consistently get 'normal' sets on a date (say, 1 out of 10 or fewer girls you open), then don't expect much (let's be frank - don't expect anything).

Closing under a pretext of going for a hike a weak move. Girls may not be smart, but they ain't stupid, they know what's up. They just very indirectly fobbed you off. Girls never value men who try to weasel in under some lame excuse. If you went bold, the result may still have been the same, but they'd respect you for showing balls and be clear about what you were after.

I'll give you an example. Was at M&S store, then saw a chick minimally taller the me, very cute and with a body of a swimsuit model. Unfortunately she was with her friend (or sister), who was even taller, some six foot tall gal. I will admit, I felt somewhat intimidated. They didn't look like tourists, so followed them a bit around the store, decided not to open hoping she'll be in that store by herself one day (I frequent it almost daily and I see lots of regular shoppers there). However, if I felt very strong with excellent vibe, having got some numbers already, I'd choose the moment they'd separate, even for 10 seconds and then jump in.

Which brings me to your situation. If very unlikely to see any of them in the same spot again, I'd observe the situation to see if they were in a hurry or exploring the market. If the latter, there was a chance they'd separate for a bit or one would go to the toilet. Then, I'd make a quick, bold open to get my point across and hope for the best. Inevitably, the friend would come back which could've been played to your advantage by showing a higher social acuity - acknowledge the other girl, introduce yourself, shake her hand, and be polite: "I've just been talking to your friend, do you mind giving us a minute?" More as a statement than a question. If the first girl would like me, she'd eye-code the other to let me continue and close. I'd be briefer than usual and finish around 5 minutes mark.

Otherwise, if there was no chance to get one on one, I'd make a very indirect approach and seem to appear, say, at the same stall and make an observational remark and try to draw them into a conversation and try to show I'm interesting/funny for long enough I'd kill their momentum. If none of us would be in a hurry and vibe would be excellent, then perhaps I'd bounce them for drinks/food and at some point made it clear which one I liked (or liked the one who'd give me more eyes, if both cute), perhaps say to the one I didn't want "looks like your friend seems into me... and I might like her too."

All in all, very unlikely scenario, I wouldn't bother with 2+ sets, for it requires a plethora of fortuitous elements. Having said that, if a girl or girls were of true beauty, either go very bold direct or very indirect. If you can get one of the girls on her own, even just for 10 to 30 seconds, proceed as normal (in my case, indirect-direct).

What would be a strong move? I wasn't sure they were 21+ to go for the "I'd like to take you out for a drink some time."

(04-04-2017 07:10 AM)duedue Wrote:  What would be a strong move? I wasn't sure they were 21+ to go for the "I'd like to take you out for a drink some time."

A strong move would entail making your intentions known upfront. For example:

"Hey, I can't help but notice your hips have an interesting contour... (mild pull) let me guess, you enjoy dancing, don't you?" [1.]

The opener isn't a boring-ass "you look cute" one and contains elements of uncertainty - it's not that much of a complement but a suggestive of one. Also, it fluidly segues into the following question about dancing so you can have her give you something to work with. Chances are, like most girls, she enjoys dancing. If she said yes, I'd expand on that and off-handedly throw in that I do latin dancing (major DHV) and can see which girls have good predisposition for that and she's the lucky one (immediate, moderate qualification). From here it's freewheeling a bit, calming down the interaction, establishing a bit of rapport, strong eye-contact, incidental touching, long hand shake, standing close, perhaps brushing her hair, and staying ready for a friend to return and acknowledgment of her, then I'd close by saying I enjoyed the conversation and hope there's more to her than just cute looks (overt pull & push). It's a lot to do smoothly and takes dozens, if not hundred of approaches to get it just right, so don't sweat it.

1. Notice intentional use of the word interesting. Unlike any adjective acknowledging her attractiveness, such as you have "... cute/pretty/beautiful/etc. xyz", you acknowledge particular feature of hers but with a degree of uncertainty making you look a bit judgemental and not fully sold on that particular feature but not confusing a girl by asking her what time the last train leaves ;-)

Some updates:

I mentioned that I had a date last Sat. with a 5.5/10 Asian chick. I was pretty tired from being out until 4am the night before on my other date but I decided to go anyways. I wasn't feeling it because her face isn't good at all from the pictures. But going gave me an excuse to get into the city to do some approaches.

We met in the city and walked to a coffee shop. Her body was petite but the face wasn't very good. Not terrible just not good. I'm sure some white guys would think she's "cute" though. I just trolled the whole time not taking it seriously. I told her I wanted to quit my job and be a drug dealer/gang member. After coffee, we went for a walk to overlook the water and decided to play the questions game.

She escalated it pretty quickly asking me when I last had sex after a few questions even though I kept it pretty tame. I made fun of her for it but she said I started it by asking her how many boyfriends she's had (she's only had 2). I lied and said last week rather than the night before and she didn't seem to mind. I was surprised that the chat went sexual so quickly because she seemed very timid, and is/was focused on her studies (she has a masters in a hard science).

She's hasn't had a lot of sex and hasn't even given a BJ! I teased her and said it's probably because the two guys she's had sex with are skinny, nerdy asian guys.

I was pretty horny at this point and had a decision to make. I didn't feel like seeing her again so I decided to try to get a SDL then and there. This was in the middle of afternoon mind you with tons of people around. I pulled her in and started making out with her. She didn't resist at all and liked it. I rubbed my leg on the outside of her pussy and she didn't mind. I then started rubbing my hands on the outside of her pants and she was fine with that. I told her we should go to someplace more private. She asked: "to your apartment?" FUCK FUCK FUCK. I don't have my own place and it is killing me.

I walked a bit and said: "hmmm what are you doing this evening?" She said no much and I asked her if she wants to be adventurous today. I said let's grab a hotel.

She thought about it, hesitated and said no because she just met me. If I had my own place, I could have weaseled my way back to it with her but a hotel has way more connotations.

I thought for a sec and said let's go some place private for a bit anyways. We went to the top floor of a parkade and started making out. I then fingered her for a good 10 min as she was dropping wet while she was rubbing my cock from outside of my pants. I said let's get going and I was trying to book a hotel through hot wire but it wouldn't load!

I tried to convince her to get a hotel but no dice. We got on the train together and I started to get pretty desperate almost pleading. This is obviously not the right play because I gave off a really needy vibe telling her that we don't have to have sex etc etc and that we wouldn't do anything she wasn't comfortable doing. She was considering hard. Had I wanted to see her again, I wouldn't have fingered her, pushed for the hotel or "begged" like this because I knew I'd have it on later dates but I just wasn't attracted to her.

Her stop was coming up and she said I had one more stop to try to convince her. I said let's just chill for a few hrs and no expectations. Her stop came and she decided to leave and that was that.

She responded to my text back but not to my 2nd one a few dates later. Not unexpected because she likely has her ASD shield up now and I came across as a fuck boy.

Thoughts:

- There are no "pure" girls loool. If you're her type and you're higher value and you get her in the mood, she'll do a ton of slutty things if she's caught up in the moment. This innocent seeming, inexperienced girl let me finger her in the middle of the day on the first meet just because I'm higher value and played fuck boy game. If I had my own place, I probably would have pounded her into oblivion.

- ASD is real and in the future, if I like a girl and want to get future bangs, I'll likely wait until the 2nd or 3rd date and keep it cool. In this case, I didn't care. Same as with the Irish girl a few weeks back, going too hard too fast may get you the cheap thrill but will trigger than ASD shields hard. Of course, there's some chicks who wouldn't see you again anyways and will only fuck you that night so having a good read is important.

- I need my own place.

--------

I did do a few approaches afterwards but I only have time to update my first one which was one of the better ones I've done in a long time.

7/10 white chick who's probably slightly older as in 30s. We were waiting for the train and I did my standard opener (you're cute etc)

Me: What are you up to?

Her: I'm going to meet a friend I haven't seen a while blah blah blah. What are you up to?

Me: "I met up with a friend earlier and now I'm going to buy some pants"

Her: "what kind?'

me: guesss

Her: "hmmm you're dressed really nicely already... blah blah blah

Me: "I think I'm going to get some navy pants

I told her I liked her outfit too and talked about the contrast she made but teased her bag being a weird colour.

She then mentioned something about her friends getting married or something and I asked if she's married. She said no and asked if I am.

Me: "yes! I actually have 5 wives and I'm thinking you should be my 6th"

Her: "haha really? your 6th eh? What's your first wife's name?"

Me: "bertha"

Her: "that's an interesting name.."

Me: "ya there's a lot to love with her. I dunno though, you could move up to #2 though"

She then laughed and said "oh wow thanks #2" we said something about my harem and and I told her that I'm muslim and she laughed.

We got onto the train and she said she's done a lot of traveling. She said she was in S. America and said she couldn't tell me what for. I looked at her funny and asked her if she's doing some shady stuff. She laughed and said it's a long story. She then asked me what I do and I told her.

She was getting off the next top and I asked her if I could get her number. There might have been a slight bit of hesistation but she said yes and gave it to me. We then said bye and joked about the marriage and I said it's all good, i'm a Imam.

Approach Strength: 2.75/5. Felt pretty good.

Connection: 2.75/5. A bit better than avg but didn't feel a super strong vibe going.

Convo flirty/fun factor: 3.5/5. This is the type of non-sensical convo I want to be having that's funner and shows my intent rather than just boring questions and answers and taking value by asking her a bunch of personal questions.

Notes:

- She's good looking but at the wall. I wasn't sure if I'd be getting her out. I texted her and no reply. I'm really starting to think that these "good looking" white women of the professional type, the typical lots of make up, cardboard cut out ones don't like Asian guys. Need to get better and have a better sample size.


---------------

I did a few other approaches that didn't go anywhere and I'll update later. For shits and giggles, my last one was a red head that had a pretty face but was legit overweight. Not obese but definitely overweight. I stopped her for a decent set and she's on tinder but even though she thinks most guys are lame, even SHE didn't reply! PRetty ludicrous because my SMV should be higher but I think it's the stigma against Asian guys.

I haven't updated my spreadsheet yet but I think I've hit 100 daygame approaches already with not a lot of results. Need to improve and hope things turn around! Keep on grinding!

(03-24-2017 08:10 PM)starmaze Wrote:  Hey Gio , How are your doing?

I approach beautiful women almost everyday.

It's educational, interesting, sexy, exciting, and challenging. It's a great hobby!

My game has improved a lot.

I'm having more fun and I'm getting better results -- WITH LESS EFFORT!!!

How?

1) I'm at peace with myself. I'm not needy or pushy. I entertain myself rather than trying to entertain the girl. I'm not worried about the outcome.

2) Its all a "vibe". Girls can sense our level of comfort. They can tell if our body language and vocal tone are relaxed and confident or worrisome and desperate. I have worked hard to display an aire of relaxed confidence. I'm at peace. If a girl doesn't like me, I don't really care, I will find another one.

3) My focus is fun, my fun. I am not a clown for any girl. I choose to live my life filled with humor, fun, and adventure. I do this for MY well being and simply because I enjoy it.

4) My ability to talk to strangers has improved 10000% I have simply practiced doing this thousands and thousands of times. I can strike up a conversation with almost anyone and that conversation will be fun, funny, and engaging. THIS IS A SKILL THAT I WORKED HARD TO ATTAIN AND IT HAS IMPROVED THE QUALITY OF MY LIFE.

-----

This show helped me a lot!!!





This show taught me that it's okay to go out into the world and just have fun with everyone. It's quite powerful.

-----

Some examples:

I'm waiting at a red light and a beautiful asian girl with a hot body walks up near me and stops.. I immediately speak:

me: you look interesting
her: hehe I do
me: what do you do?
her: I'm an art student
me: wow what kind of art

--

A beautiful white girl was walking straight towards me.. I spoke:

me: wanna go to prom with me
her: haha

--

I was riding my bike downtown and I made strong eye contact with a sexy russian girl.. I rode away but quickly circled back and rode up next to her as she waited at a red light

me: I came back to meet you. How are you
her: Hi
me: my name is gio I live here
her: oh wow a native
me: yes and you?
her: europe
me: oh nice
her: yes
me: u like san francisco?
her: yes I do very nice
me: are you available to drink some wine
her: I have a boyfriend but you should go to Belarussia.

--

Walking into a Starbucks, a smoking hot white blond was also walking in.

me: wow you're so tall
her: hahaha

She sort of instinctively knew that I was hitting on her but the way I said it made her laugh.

me: what are you about 5'11 ?
her: ha maybe in these shoes about 5'10 and a half

--

Walking along the ocean, A pretty white girl makes eye contact with me and smiles.. I walk over to her..

me: hi
her: hi
me: I just wanted to say hello to you, u look interesting
her: haha
me: just out walking?
her: ya just out walking
me: well thats nice
her: it is nice
me: its a nice to day to walk
her: it is

--

In line at the grocery store, behind a pretty asian girl.

me: I like your groceries
her: oh haha thanks
me: that coconut milk ice cream is so nice

--

I saw a pretty mediterranean girl downtown.. I walked over to her.

me: hi how are you?
her: fine
me: I wanted to come say hello to you cause you look nice and I wanted to see if you were available to drink some wine some time
her: thank you, you are funny

--

I walked past a beautiful hawaiian/white/japanese girl.

me: you are so pretty. what is your beauty secret?

I acted serious and didn't try to laugh it off.

her: the ocean
me: the ocean ya
her: yes
me: u surf?
her: everyday
me: wow

--

I see a sexy latina girl with earbuds in, I walk over to her.

me: What'cha listening to?

--

In line at a crowded store, a cute blond bumps into me. I don't say anything to her but then 5 minutes later as the line moved and she was facing me, I said:

me: the music is good in here
her: it is

--

In line at the store, a sexy white girl with a little nose ring gets behind me in line. Immediately:

me: that is an interesting little ring
her: you think so
me: does it change colors depending on your mood?
her: ha that would be cool

I had sex with that girl a few days later.

(04-05-2017 06:26 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  I had sex with that girl a few days later.

How did the others turn out?

I can't seem to get the quote/like function to work, so I'll just say this: ksbms is giving some very sage, well considered advice when it comes to sets of girls together. It can be done, with experience and he lays out some excellent thoughts.

I'm wondering about something after reading so many of you younger, more active guys posts here.
I of course exercise regularly myself and I lift 2-3 times a week as well. But I have always had an intense dislike of exercising with women or even really being around them when they're exercising. I want to see them clean and elegant. Until I despoil the elegance myself, heh heh heh.
So I've never really thought about a gym game, but it's starting to spark my interest. I'm pretty confident in most areas of approach and this probably isn't that different at its core.

Does anyone have any thoughts about how gym game and approach may pose a different challenge set? I would typically be doing this out of town on business since I have equipment of my own when I'm home.

(04-05-2017 06:26 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  In line at the store, a sexy white girl with a little nose ring gets behind me in line. Immediately:

me: that is an interesting little ring
her: you think so
me: does it change colors depending on your mood?
her: ha that would be cool

I had sex with that girl a few days later.

The sage is back! Good to see you and you definitely inspire me to keep pushing.

Would you mind giving more details into the above approach?

(04-05-2017 07:15 PM)Ironbutt62 Wrote:  I'm wondering about something after reading so many of you younger, more active guys posts here.
I of course exercise regularly myself and I lift 2-3 times a week as well. But I have always had an intense dislike of exercising with women or even really being around them when they're exercising. I want to see them clean and elegant. Until I despoil the elegance myself, heh heh heh.
So I've never really thought about a gym game, but it's starting to spark my interest. I'm pretty confident in most areas of approach and this probably isn't that different at its core.

Does anyone have any thoughts about how gym game and approach may pose a different challenge set? I would typically be doing this out of town on business since I have equipment of my own when I'm home.

I'd say it depends on your gym too. I'm in good shape but where I work out, there's a ton of roided up huge guys and physique/bodybuilder competitors. It's pretty tough competition and the chicks tend to get banged by the guys with the best physiques.

(04-05-2017 07:17 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

(04-05-2017 06:26 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  In line at the store, a sexy white girl with a little nose ring gets behind me in line. Immediately:

me: that is an interesting little ring
her: you think so
me: does it change colors depending on your mood?
her: ha that would be cool

I had sex with that girl a few days later.

The sage is back! Good to see you and you definitely inspire me to keep pushing.

Would you mind giving more details into the above approach?

I'll cover it all but which parts of the process are you most interested in?

(04-05-2017 07:20 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-05-2017 07:17 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  

(04-05-2017 06:26 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  In line at the store, a sexy white girl with a little nose ring gets behind me in line. Immediately:

me: that is an interesting little ring
her: you think so
me: does it change colors depending on your mood?
her: ha that would be cool

I had sex with that girl a few days later.

The sage is back! Good to see you and you definitely inspire me to keep pushing.

Would you mind giving more details into the above approach?

I'll cover it all but which parts of the process are you most interested in?

age, when you knew you had her hooked during the approach and getting her out on a date to sex. thanks!

Here are more details from the approach:

(04-05-2017 07:28 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  Pale but creamy white girl, 22, student.

In line at the store, a sexy white girl with a little nose ring gets behind me in line. Immediately:

me: that is an interesting little ring
her: you think so
me: does it change colors depending on your mood?
her: ha that would be cool

We chatted in line.

me: wanna exchange numbers and maybe do something
her: yeah sounds good
me: lets drink some wine and explore the city
her: that sounds awesome

I texted her 3 days later.

Was just something simple like, "Katie? Hey it's gio from Safeway"

We texted a little bit and I quickly said, "when do you wanna drink wine and explore the city"

We went out Saturday afternoon and had a great time. After a bottle of wine, I invited her to come over but she declined.

The following Thursday, we met for an early "happy hour" and after a few drinks she agreed to take an Uber back to my place.

I rubbed her pussy and she grabbed my dick in the Uber.

--

(04-05-2017 07:47 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  age

She's 22, I'm 41.

I told her my real age and she said she didn't care. She said I look 31. Most girls guess 32 or 33.

(04-05-2017 07:47 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  when you knew you had her hooked during the approach

She really seemed to warm up after I said, "does it change colors depending on your mood"

We talked, she gave good eye contact.

But, I really didn't know for sure until I asked her if she wanted to hang out.

That's how it is when you approach girls 20 years younger... Everything can go well but you never know til you go for it.

(04-05-2017 07:47 PM)BetaNoMore Wrote:  getting her out on a date to sex

The texting was simple and minimal.

We drank wine on both dates.

The weather just warmed up and I think she wanted a spring time fuck.

Giovanny:

"I saw a pretty mediterranean girl downtown.. I walked over to her.

me: hi how are you?
her: fine
me: I wanted to come say hello to you cause you look nice and I wanted to see if you were available to drink some wine some time
her: thank you, you are funny"
----


Oh, yes! That's one of the best openers I have read. Simple, direct, non-threatening, to-the-point, joyful.
I live near a beach resort and, all this spring, THAT will be my opener, because there are several bars and , alternatively, it is always good to carry a drink kit down in your beach bag- be prepared! The tops are coming off, like today, and even some bikinis and short shorts. Women love to show off and are begging for attention.

I haven't logged my approaches lately. I've been driven to get stuck into that after missing out on quite a few opportunities this year. My commute to work involves a walk along the boundaries of a nearby university where I'd pass by at least a few attractive ones.

I was on campus earlier this afternoon and headed out to one of the common areas on a balcony. I sat myself across a somewhat attractive blonde.

She looked up at me and we held eye contact.

"Excuse me, can you mind my stuff for a bit while I go to the loo?" I asked.

"Sure," she said. I'd left my mobile there so I was too worried it getting pinched to say anything else to her.

I came back, thanked her.

"No worries," she said without even looking up.

Our location wasn't helpful with carrying on the approach. She had her back to the balcony glass and I was at a bench facing her metre and a half away. I wrapped up my work and left soon after.

I went to my lecture and sat next to a girl I walked past earlier on in the hallway. She's got that attractrive dark and pale brunette look that I used to be into, a little like Jennifer Connelly, wearing a grey jumper and Vans sneakers. She smiled at me briefly.

A guy from Socialist Alternative was handing out leaflets for a refugee protest and his colleague made an announcement about it a few seconds after.

"In a way, I feel for those guys," I turned to Jennifer Connelly after the SA chick finished her spiel in front.

"What, the Marxist people or the refugees?" She asked squarely.

"What do you think blah blah...which answer should I give to sound less douchey?" We laughed a bit.

"I think they sort of deserve it on account of their obnoxiousness blah blah," she suggested.

"I should tell them blah blah," I can't remember what I said but she laughed.

It was a Pol. Sci. class and the lecturer mentioned something about the gender difference in STEM fields. I turned to Jennifer Connelly again.

"This is where I feel terrible," I said.

"Why?"

"Because it's what I study."

She smiled and turned to face the front.

I got the impression that she didn't want to exchange to much chatter during the lecture itself so I didn't bother. As we were readying to leave, I opened her again, "She was really struggling to catch everyone's attention wasn't she?"

"Yeah I think it was because people were really starting to leave and she kinda gave up," she supposed.

"They really should have thought about that in lecturer school," I joked.

"Ha-ha, lecturer school," she echoed.

"Especially when really getting stuck into overthrowing the patriarchy."

She said something I don't recall and moved on, then greeted a friend of hers when she got the aisle. She didn't even say bye or swap names.

Shortly after, a few floors down, I looked to settle down at one of the hallway study spaces and my chosen desk was covered with the notes of the brunette occupying it.

She was above average looks, and wearing a black spaghetti-strap onesie.

"Excuse me, may I?" I asked, gesturing there.

"Yeah, sure!" she cleared half the space.

I laid out my things and got to work. After a while, I glanced up and hissed,"No texting!" upon her playing with her mobile. She giggled. Nothing really happened for the next 10-ish minutes beyond her sneezing, I muttering,"Bless you", and her thanking me.

She was yawning, checking her mobile and glancing around occasionally, so I seized the next time she did by going,"You look like you really need a coffee."

"Haha yeah I think I've just been really out of it lately, really ill," she chuckled.

"Shit, I'd better get away," I feigned a startled expression and made to spring from my seat. "What are you studying from? Study fatigue?"

"Hah sort of blah blah," she replied somewhat laboriously. "Had a huge week blah blah."

"Too many big nights?" I suggested. *

"That and too much study."

"I feel really lazy not doing much at all this week," I somewhat retorted.

"Yeah I've been a bit like that too blah blah," she said.

"What are you studying?" I knew the answer; her laptop was angled towards me.

"Marketing; what about you?"

"Mechanical engineering," I gestured towards my computer.

"Sounds fun," she said in an ironic way. "do you enjoy it?"

"Up to the point where I find the whole aspect of using hard maths to draw fancy models to be a complete pain the arse," I pulled a face, she laughed. "How about marketing?"

"It's really chill, I can't complain, like there's not a whole lot of work," she cocked her head towards her notes.

"Yeah, it's like one essay per semester per subject isn't it," I said with a slight droll edge.

We exchanged a few sentences about nightlife.

"Yup," she agreed rapidly.

"It sounds like the sort of course I'd be dying to switch to once I've had a gutful of calculations," I muttered.

"I bet! What year are you in?" She asked.

"Final; I'm guessing you're second?" I threw the question back at her.

"Nah, first! Blah blah"

"Holy crap," I expressed genuine surprise (I think she said something about contact hours earlier). "You're going to want to drop out once they add a few more contact hours by third year."

"Haha true blah blah," she concurred. "My degree is only three years though. I think I'm going to take next year off to travel."

"Oh whereabouts to? It's a hassle with me working heaps to save up to study in Europe after this," I said. (Damn, I should've mentioned that I'd had travelled/studied abroad already as a DHV.)

"Where'll you be studying in?" I misheard her "where".

"Where or what?"

"What and what," she clarified.

"Probably Denmark to do industrial design," I said.

"Oh that sounds cool," she said genuinely.

"After that much time doing engineering and finance I'm hoping so" (she nodded) "Yourself?"

"I've got family living overseas and friends around, so I might be doing Europe too blah blah."

"Which means you've got a parent from somewhere else, and a grandparent elsewhere?" (I should've cold-read her background here :/ .)

"Yeah I've got family in Scotland and England blah blah," I forgot the specifics of her family details.

We chatted a little about family and friends overseas. I segued that into the following,"That'll be when you have to start finding a job that pays more than Coles or Woolworths blah blah."

"Oh I need to get around to that," she laughed.

I cold read her job, we chatted about that topic after I commented something like,"I'll that part about our twenties where we worked shitty jobs to save up for Europe." and she asked me what I wanted to do with my degrees.

We went back to our respective notes. After a brief moment, she asked,"What're you doing for Easter?"

I pulled a face,"I'm really not sure because my housemate wants me to go to Inner Varnika, but I might be playing at Confest, so either one of those."

"I've got no idea what any of those are," she drew a complete blank.

"You really aren't that au fait with the festival scene are you?" I laughed.

She shook her head.

"OK, have you heard of Burning Man?" She nodded. "One of them's like a much more compact version of that, the other's techno, sort of like Rainbow Serpent, minus the hippies."

"I see blah blah," and in response to me asking likewise: "We were thinking of going to blah blah and doing blah but we're having my auntie come over from England so we might have to stick around blah blah."

"It sucks having to scrap holiday plans when you have family coming from overseas blah blah," I said.

"Yeah but if they're only coming once a year blah blah."

"Haha sure and plus their kids are coming over too so it'll be great blah blah."

"Kids?" I thought she'd said 'grandma' and not 'auntie' at first.

"They're gay," she confirmed.

"Bet it's great having the nieces and nephews over, or is it cousins?" I pressed on with the topic.

We chatted a bit more about the semantics of those words, and implied that I was the eldest sibling.


"Do you have brothers or sisters?" She asked, after a minute of silence.

"Yeah, I indicated that, a little brother and sister."

We bantered on that topic pretty heavily and funnily, she asked me how old my sister was upon my saying something, I replied and followed it up with a joke about my expectations of them; she explained at one point,"My brother's such a rebel blah blah he's got a way with girls blah blah, he would answer back, 'shut up slut!'" to me blah blah."

To which I'd tease her with, "Oh yeah he really took after you/you were setting such an example weren't you blah blah."

"Nah I haven't! Blah blah," She replied defensively

"Don't be shy! It's every reason why I'd wished I'd had a big sister blah blah," was my rejoinder. The tone of our conversation became a bit more fun and light-hearted. At one point, I said something about her brother watching Gossip Girl on Netflix after bedtime and she laughed.

Somehow, she got me to guess what sort of girl she was.

"Straight edge," I said rather sombrely after appraising her appearance. I had a bit of a mental blank, otherwise I'd have added a bit more.

"Haha I am not straight edge!" She cried out incredulously, "Blah blah I might look like that but I'm like the highlight whenever we go out."

"You'd better be," I shot back humorously. "I don't do boring, I can't believe I was with my first girlfriend for as long as we were."

She laughed and we exchanged talk about the sort of person we'd like to bring back to my parents. I compared her to my sister and we laughed.

Eventually I guessed which school she went to; our conversation was going that way, and after a lull, she put on a windcheater and I asked if that was her Valedictory jacket.

"Oh God no, I wouldn't want to be seen wearing my Valedictory jacket!" She had exclaimed.

"Which school did you go to?" she asked.

"Brighton Grammar," I responded. I explained where it was, we chatted a bit about religion without getting too topical.

I can't remember what else we talked about, but after a lull a few minutes later, she started packing up her things.

"Places to go?" I looked up from my machine.

"Yeah, got a tute," she said.

"Don't kill yourself after tomorrow."

"That's if I'll even be around then."

"Let's get coffee after class then if you'll be," I offered.

"I'm not sure 'cause I've got a really full day of classes," she said. She made to leave. "Well, it was nice meeting you."

That was about an hour before I started writing this. She didn't even offer her number nor did we swap names, so I wonder what I did. I know I felt really jumpy for some reason during those last two approaches and maybe both girls sensed those vibes? She's probably a 7, not hugely stunning but cute enough.

* I don't recall everything we said verbatim, so I truncated bits of the last approach, and mixed up the order of what we said.

Reposting my own comment from the London thread:

For all you younger guys struggling with Approach Anxiety.

I started daygame - cold approach - on the street at the age of 50, chatting up girls in their early 20s.Not only did I have the usual anxiety but there was also this horrible weasel whispering in my ear constantly "You're too old, you're too old, you fool".

I fought through it. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

If I can do it, you can do it. Good luck and enjoy yourselves

I'm really trying to get over mental blocks to approaching: "My shirt's dirty", "I need to get to my bike", "My lips look parched" etc. Regarding the previous post, there's a scar on the corner of my mouth from shaving, but I still got over that.

Tuesday:


I went to an espresso martini masterclass at university on Tuesday late afternoon.

The attendees were sort of divided into groups around tables so after turning up 10 minutes late, I made my way to where 2 girls were seated. They both looked around 20, brunette, one of being prettier than the other.

A group of two guys and a girl joined us, they acknowledged the 3 of us and we made a bit of small talk. It was time for each table to make the first attempt. I offered to do so for our table, on impulse, and we traded banter a bit between us, I sort of excluded the prettier of the first 2 girls. I let slip that I'm a bartender and we chatted about our preferred ingredients.

"Ugh Absolut, how basic d'you think I am?" I remarked at one point, which elicited a laugh.

"It's only good for cleaning toilets!" To which the prettier brunette laughed incredulously, I had the feeling at me rather than with me.

I asked the trio what the posters were for, one of them, who I correctly thought was Filipino, said it was for his brother's gig. I kept on bantering with the 3 of them and gradually included Brunette #1.

To cut it short, she didn't seem to be biting. Her responses to my questions were a bit abrupt and there was no back-and-forth. I think I was coming across as too try-hard at the start, talking about my bartending and music stuff, despite me showing a bit of social proof (Filipino dude added me on Facebook and we've got 6 mutual friends). She was clicking a bit better with the Filipino guy though, and not just because he was sitting next to her. Maybe it's the tall poppy syndrome culture we've got in Australia?

I came across 2 Norwegian exchange students during that class that I knew and we got drinks and hung at the foyer. They were OK looking but I wasn't that attracted to them. I divided my time between the Norwegians and the earlier trio, when I spotted a girl that I'd approached last year*, attending the second espresso martini session. I was going to meet the Norwegian girls at our uni's Beer Society drinks later, so we swapped contacts, I made my excuses and headed to the bar. Their beer tap had run out.

"What's the cider like?" I asked her.

"Blah blah..."

I joked about having to get used to cider, directed a funny remark to the bartenders about their RSA rules, then led the two of us away from the bar.

"Hey you look really familiar," she pointed out eventually.

"Really, so do you," was my flippant rejoinder. "I wonder where from."

"Was it sometime last year?" I nodded to prompt her. She drew a brief blank then exclaimed,"Yeah it was at [name of building] with that crazy guy!"

"C___?" I asked.

"Yeah and you're...JWLZG?"

I had number-closed her back then, but she had gone silent after a few texts between us. Experience (and advice) has told me not to call a girl out on that. I didn't. She apologised on her own volition about having gone to Sydney (her hometown) and then having gone to Japan over the break. We chatted about travel a bit, and I segued that to,"We'll find actual beer tomorrow and and you can tell me about Japan and I, about Europe."

"I've never been to Europe before blah blah," she responded.

Her session had already ended by the time I approached her, and I found it natural to prompt us to move on. We got sort of of lost in the bowels of the building as it just finished construction. There was a bit of teasing between us. I think I purposely led us on a tiny bit of a wild goose chase before I 'found' the exit.

That stairwell spat us onto the main street.

"That's me," I indicated to the tram. I had to split up because I had a life drawing class to head straight to.

"So, Thursday?" I reiterated. I'd mentioned a bit earlier we could play around with espresso martinis.

"On Thursday.....I'm free," she agreed. "You still don't have Facebook, do you?"

I gave her a look of refusal.

"Cool, I think I'm good with numbers now," she went on. We hugged, she initiated it. I turned around to board the tram.

Takeaways

- I should have been a bit more chill and not too game with the first brunette, that was probably what had her react a bit too coldly. I must've have come across as wanting to validate myself too much.

- I hesitated a bit towards C____, but quickly clamped down on it and by focussing on the Norwegians, whom I was talking to at that time. I stuck to the 3-second rule when she'd left her group and headed to the bar.

- When we were making our way through the building afterwards, I could've been used a bit more kino. Taken hold of her hand as we wandering around trying to find the exit. We were both a bit tipsy so that would've happened naturally.

Aftermath

I texted her on Wednesday night, no response. I sent another midday today and she responded saying she has uni really late, has to catch up on classes. I sent a reply a couple hours ago, no response yet.

* Early in December, I took a seat at one of the mezzanine study areas next to where she was seated. She's short, pale, dark brunette, with a pleasant face. She looked to be about 22 but when I saw her on Tinder more recently, it said she was a year younger (we didn't match). We held eye contact for a bit, and after a few minutes of work, I asked her to mind my stuff while I went to refill my water bottle.
I returned, she smiled at me, and somehow we started talking eventually. I commented on the breeze and I huddled into my coat to take my mind off AA. Chatted over standard uni stuff before quickly talking about what our city is like, when she revealed that she's from Sydney. Teased her a bit about being from there, and we compared both cities.
A crazy dude approached us and started raving about conspiracy theories — this was a few weeks are the US Election. I didn't tell him to fuck off, but proffered him a pen and paper for him to scribble some notes for us. I answered his questions without trying to sound as smart as I am. She was answering him a bit more timidly. Somehow I indicated he should leave without saying it in black and white. He shook our hands and departed.
We stared at each other, laughed and and talked shit about him for a bit. I eventually mentioned having to leave but because I had mentioned showing her around my area, grabbed her number, after denying I had FB — I should have said,"I don't do FB."
Even though we'd introduced ourselves earlier (I think?) she gave me her surname to save her number under. I speak enough Russian to have recognised it as similar to the Slavic root word for "horse", so I said,"It's all the same horse, isn't it?"

She stared at me blankly,"Err, I guess?"

I don't think she got it,"That's what [her surname] means doesn't it, 'horse', isn't it Russian or Ukrainian or something?"

"Oh no it's Hungarian, so close enough," she said. "Do you speak one of those?"

"I learning a bit, plus I travelled to Eastern Europe last year blah blah," I rambled a bit about that and we split up.

We exchanged texts in the days after before she didn't respond, as I described above.

(04-06-2017 12:34 AM)Half Century Wrote:  Giovanny:

"I saw a pretty mediterranean girl downtown.. I walked over to her.

me: hi how are you?
her: fine
me: I wanted to come say hello to you cause you look nice and I wanted to see if you were available to drink some wine some time
her: thank you, you are funny"
----


Oh, yes! That's one of the best openers I have read. Simple, direct, non-threatening, to-the-point, joyful.
I live near a beach resort and, all this spring, THAT will be my opener, because there are several bars and , alternatively, it is always good to carry a drink kit down in your beach bag- be prepared! The tops are coming off, like today, and even some bikinis and short shorts. Women love to show off and are begging for attention.

It is and it isn't.

If your perceived value is clearly higher then hers (for example, you're better looking), then it has a high chance to work on Yes girls, sometimes on Maybe girls. When it's about matched or her perceived (or objective, in terms of physical attributes) higher, then it's like shooting a fish in a barrel. You'll be seen as a supplicating man. However, if everything is on point - eye-contact, grooming, style, body language, voice, then it can work on Yes girls. After all, attraction isn't created with words.

(04-06-2017 03:28 AM)JWLZG Wrote:  I haven't logged my approaches lately. I've been driven to get stuck into that after missing out on quite a few opportunities this year. My commute to work involves a walk along the boundaries of a nearby university where I'd pass by at least a few attractive ones.

I was on campus earlier this afternoon and headed out to one of the common areas on a balcony. I sat myself across a somewhat attractive blonde.

[...]

* I don't recall everything we said verbatim, so I truncated bits of the last approach, and mixed up the order of what we said.

A bit too long to read the whole thing through but my overall impression is that whereas rapport building was good, not enough attraction (push) building and spiking? Too many guys she's had a conversation like that with. could've toyed with her:

"you seem like a bad girl",
"you're too young for me",
"you'd look sexy if you dressed better",
"is there anything going for you apart from studying and partying",

touch her hand, her arm, her hair, poke the side of her belly, be a truculent cad. Talk about things girls can relate to via emotions - playing music, dancing, acting, etc. Connect emotionally. Keep strong, sexual eye-contact and don't be afraid to take risks and lose the set (ironically, your chances would be better).

I sit at uni cafés and most guys engage girls in a very mundane chat - be the exciting guy who increases her heart beat. Talk about other people around you and show your social acuity. Girls like talking about other people.

Having said that, if your looks where exactly what she was after, you could've had probably the most mundane conversation, and still get her out.

(04-06-2017 12:34 AM)Half Century Wrote:  Giovonny:

"I saw a pretty mediterranean girl downtown.. I walked over to her.

me: hi how are you?
her: fine
me: I wanted to come say hello to you cause you look nice and I wanted to see if you were available to drink some wine some time
her: thank you, you are funny"
----


Oh, yes! That's one of the best openers I have read. Simple, direct, non-threatening, to-the-point, joyful.
I live near a beach resort and, all this spring, THAT will be my opener, because there are several bars and , alternatively, it is always good to carry a drink kit down in your beach bag- be prepared! The tops are coming off, like today, and even some bikinis and short shorts. Women love to show off and are begging for attention.

I did NOT open with the "wine" comment.

I opened with -- "hi, how are you"

It's usually better to build a small bit of rapport BEFORE asking about her wine drinking schedule. Opening with the wine question is a little too eager for me. But, you may find a way to make it work for you.

Here are a few more examples using the "wine" question:

me: I love your dress
her: thank you
me: are you from miami
her: haha no I live downtown
me: oh you seem so tropical
her: haha
me: im gio
her: hi gio, im leah
me: like the princess from star wars
her: ya exactly
me: whats your wine drinking schedule looking like for this weekend?

--

me: you're so pretty
her: thank you
me: are you out here for work or pleasure
her: hehe im actually working today
me: ya me too, its a nice day today
her: it is
me: u live in the city here?
her: yes
me: well I want to ask you.....
her: yes
me: are you available to drink some wine this weekend?

--

me: you look nice today
her: thank you
me: are you a fashion student or something
her: haha no im in law school
me: can I put you retainer in case I get in trouble
her: haha do u get in trouble a lot?
me: I think I might after meeting you
her: hehehe
me: are you a wine drinker?
her: ya sometimes
me: lets share a bottle sometime

(04-06-2017 12:33 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  I did NOT open with the "wine" comment.

I opened with -- "hi, how are you"

It's usually better to build a small bit of rapport BEFORE asking about her wine drinking schedule. Opening with the wine question is a little too eager for me. But, you may find a way to make it work for you.

Here are a few more examples using the "wine" question:

me: I love your dress
her: thank you
me: are you from miami
her: haha no I live downtown
me: oh you seem so tropical
her: haha
me: im gio
her: hi gio, im leah
me: like the princess from star wars
her: ya exactly
me: whats your wine drinking schedule looking like for this weekend?

--

me: you're so pretty
her: thank you
me: are you out here for work or pleasure
her: hehe im actually working today
me: ya me too, its a nice day today
her: it is
me: u live in the city here?
her: yes
me: well I want to ask you.....
her: yes
me: are you available to drink some wine this weekend?

--

me: you look nice today
her: thank you
me: are you a fashion student or something
her: haha no im in law school
me: can I put you retainer in case I get in trouble
her: haha do u get in trouble a lot?
me: I think I might after meeting you
her: hehehe
me: are you a wine drinker?
her: ya sometimes
me: lets share a bottle sometime

OK, yes, but it seemed you went straight into it, which gave the approach its bite, on this one:

Quote:me: hi how are you?
her: fine
me: I wanted to come say hello to you cause you look nice and I wanted to see if you were available to drink some wine some time
her: thank you, you are funny

That has a certain vigorous rhythm. I suppose you had some IOI's beforehand.

For one approach, you built rapport with a compliment "I love your dress". That is a fairly safe opener and is effective. Then asking her where she was from, adding descriptive adjective about her, then introducing yourself, getting her name; then the wine date question.
For another approach there was a more assertive "You're so pretty"- which is a pretty direct opener (which may be quite time effective, getting to the point- and maybe many women want that), and there were general comments about weather, questions about what she was doing, where she was from(location logistics), etc.; then straight into wine date request.

Another approach "You look nice today"- that is a fairly direct opener, like you already had met her before. Seems to assume a degree of familiarity. In certain cultures and urban centers, and socio-economic cityscapes, might be more acceptable than in others. In any case, you went directly into instant rapport, depending upon her receptivity, accesibility. Then a question about her studies/career- good to generate conversation. Then , to the point, pre-number close (or same day date): " Are you a wine drinker? Let's share a bottle sometime."

All lead to the booze date necessarily. Or weed, whatever you party on.

I know women like wine ( Zinfandel sweet stuff), though I would insert martinis, margaritas, Manhattan's- faster.

Also, locations for these wine date approaches: street, market, elevator, campus, department store, bookstore, coffee shop, Starbuck's , park or beach area where people casually and or covertly party and picnic?

(04-05-2017 08:57 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  I texted her 3 days later.

Was just something simple like, "Katie? Hey it's gio from Safeway"

20 years younger, your're an inspiration!

Did you have any contact via phone/text before the 3 days, like a call immediately after so she'd have your number, or nothing for 3 days? If so, what was your thought with the waiting time? I usually try to get a text out later the same day, seems like the leads go cold if I wait, but I've only tried a few times.

(04-06-2017 09:33 PM)Gorgiass Wrote:  

(04-05-2017 08:57 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  I texted her 3 days later.

Was just something simple like, "Katie? Hey it's gio from Safeway"

20 years younger, your're an inspiration!

Did you have any contact via phone/text before the 3 days, like a call immediately after so she'd have your number, or nothing for 3 days? If so, what was your thought with the waiting time?

I did not contact her at all for 3 days after getting her number.

I used to text them the same day but recently I went back to waiting a few days.

It all depends, its just a sense or an instinct..

Sometimes, I will text with a few hours, other times, I have waited up to a week and been successful.

I don't have enough data to really form a hypothesis. The only thing I know is that if a girl likes you, she will be happy that you texted her and will try to cooperate with you, whether it was 1 day, two days, or 5 days.

I'm 41 years old. It just felt congruent to wait a few days.

(04-06-2017 10:06 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(04-06-2017 09:33 PM)Gorgiass Wrote:  

(04-05-2017 08:57 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  I texted her 3 days later.

Was just something simple like, "Katie? Hey it's gio from Safeway"

20 years younger, your're an inspiration!

Did you have any contact via phone/text before the 3 days, like a call immediately after so she'd have your number, or nothing for 3 days? If so, what was your thought with the waiting time?

I did not contact her at all for 3 days after getting her number.

I used to text them the same day but recently I went back to waiting a few days.

It all depends, its just a sense or an instinct..

Sometimes, I will text with a few hours, other times, I have waited up to a week and been successful.

I don't have enough data to really form a hypothesis. The only thing I know is that if a girl likes you, she will be happy that you texted her and will try to cooperate with you, whether it was 1 day, two days, or 5 days.

I'm 41 years old. It just felt congruent to wait a few days.

This. A girl will always make up time to respond in a timely manner or at least apologize and give a reason if she's late to reply if she likes you.

Does she like me? Why is she taking so long to reply? Why is it so difficult to make plans with her? If we have to ask these questions, it means that 9/10, she's not into us.