Post: #1

Last night I approached 11 different women and I got rejected by all of em. I had mild success with two of them. What went so wrong?

Guy I Was With
He wanted me to take him out and show him how I pick up women(or at least try to lol). So we went out to a club with him and another guy. The other guy was a huge crybaby and couldn't even get in so he went home. But the guy I was with let's call him Bob wore a damn Halo shirt and stood up straight like a statue and held his beer up to his chest. He also invaded my personal space too much. The mild success I had came after he left and I was there alone. By mild I mean I didn't get outright ignored, I couldn't get the girls name so she got pissed trying to repeat it.

Bad luck
A lot of couples there. There were a lot more guys than I'd like to see too. A lot of the women there had huge bitch shields.

Me
I tried to be as loud as possible but I was still a bit too quiet. I'm still talking faster than I should too. I had good body language, my beer was my side-arm not my shield, stood around like I owned the place, didn't look around much, etc. I used Mystery's ESP opener and Roosh's "you look like you guys are having the most fun out of anyone here". I also liked to tell the tall girls they were so tall they were like giraffes.

So guys what fucked up? I'm feeling pretty pissed off about last night.

Post: #2

Initial observation: You were at a club. Clubs are loud. Use the dance floor at the club to pick up women. Go to a bar or a lower key venue if you want to consistently approach and use those kinds of openers. That said, you did good by approaching 11 women in one night -- don't let the rejections get you down. You made more progress last night than 99% of the men out there. Move to a lower key venue and do some more approaches. Success will come.
Good job.

Post: #3

I went to a club here in DC a few weeks ago and had a similar thing happen. I completely crashed and burned. The days after I tried to remember what I was doing wrong and I think I fucked up because I was out there with the mindset of "trying to pick up girls." I wasn't having a good time and creating a vibe and I think the girls sensed that. Creating a vibe is crucial IMO, and I didn't create that all, I wasn't pulling women into my frame. Plus I was pretty fucked up which is also a huge no-no, especially in clubs as I learned. Also logistically I was just approaching random girls and random places in the club. I didn't grab a seat at the bar or try to talk to dance with chicks on the dance floor. But don't let those rejections get you down, it happens to all of us. Just try to learn what went wrong and don't make those mistakes again. Good luck man.

Post: #4

First of all, if you did 11 approaches you didn't fail, you succeeded. You did more cold approaches than most guys do in a year, hell, more than a lot of guys have done in their whole life. You did more than I did last night. You should be proud of yourself. First work on numbers as you continue to improve your method and gain experience.

You learned one important lesson- most guys suck as wings. I go solo most of the time and do so with total confidence. It is really rare that any girl questions why i am by myself, they really don't seem to care and if fact seem to be intrigued by a guy who goes out by himself. You just have to have style and confidence and not look like a dork who just doesn't have any friends

As far as the club having a lot of couples, guys and bitch shields- that is the reality most of the time, just get used to it. You can still succeed because most guys have no game.

Why do you want to be loud? If it fits your personality then fine, but you don't need to be an entertainment monkey or life of the party guy to attract chicks. I can give you an example from last night- my style is being aloof and taciturn, but I have excellent style, fitness and strong body language. When I do speak I speak with confidence and assertiveness. Last night I was standing around at a live music club when a chick who had been lingering near me poked me in the chest and said "You're not interested in me are you?" I wasn't really so I blew her off politely. Pretty soon she was back hitting on me again. To cut the story short, eventually she was hanging on me, repeatedly saying "I want to fuck you so bad" She was a 5 and not the sort of 5 that appeals to me so i didn't take her up on the offer, but my point is that I probably didn't say 10 sentences to her the whole night. Club game isn't about verbal facility- it is id driven and relies on indicators of social status and an understanding of sexual escalation

Finally, why are you negging tall girls about their height-something all tall girls are sensitive about. Don't do it. In fact, I would lay off the negs entirely until you get more experience. They are really an advanced technique that should only be used on the hotter girls anyway

You should get right back in the saddle and hit the clubs again tonight. Good luck

Post: #5

Based on all the advice you guys have given I'm going to try a few bars instead of clubs, go out solo and see how that works.

Post: #6

Man, clubs are horrible for talking to girls. Don't put yourself through that if you're just starting out. Do day game and bars. Anything but clubs.

Post: #7

(06-23-2012 11:01 AM)tjames Wrote:  Last night I approached 11 different women and I got rejected by all of em. I had mild success with two of them. What went so wrong?

Guy I Was With
He wanted me to take him out and show him how I pick up women(or at least try to lol). So we went out to a club with him and another guy. The other guy was a huge crybaby and couldn't even get in so he went home. But the guy I was with let's call him Bob wore a damn Halo shirt and stood up straight like a statue and held his beer up to his chest. He also invaded my personal space too much. The mild success I had came after he left and I was there alone. By mild I mean I didn't get outright ignored, I couldn't get the girls name so she got pissed trying to repeat it.

Bad luck
A lot of couples there. There were a lot more guys than I'd like to see too. A lot of the women there had huge bitch shields.

Me
I tried to be as loud as possible but I was still a bit too quiet. I'm still talking faster than I should too. I had good body language, my beer was my side-arm not my shield, stood around like I owned the place, didn't look around much, etc. I used Mystery's ESP opener and Roosh's "you look like you guys are having the most fun out of anyone here". I also liked to tell the tall girls they were so tall they were like giraffes.

So guys what fucked up? I'm feeling pretty pissed off about last night.

It's good that you got 11 approaches out of your system.

As to why you "failed", well, your answer is in your OP. You were gaming with the odds against you. Your initial BS with the other guys could have given you an "off" vibe.

And, as mentioned, you were at a club. At clubs, the odds are stacked against you. The only way I'd club these days is if EVERY factor was lined up. If I was feeling great, positive, and social, if I'd worked out that day. If I spent an hour getting decked out G style, if I had a few hundred bucks to blow, and if I went with a few girls I know (they're pretty hot, they can get me into any club, and they're great 'pivots' or dhv or whatever the correct pua lingo is)

If you've got a wing that wants to learn from you, tell him to sit in the corner and shut up, and maybe go to a more casual bar that's conducive to actual conversation, not the caveman displays that clubbing often requires.

Post: #8

Lol last time I crashed and burned on 10+ approaches I was so dazed afterwards that I couldn't even analyze my night properly. Worst, one of the "dead" sets where I pulled a number led to a really shitty date with a socially retarded Japanese girl. But as the guys here say, bars are a better option for quality sets. At clubs, it's all too easy to spray and pray.

Post: #9

Real wisdom:

Every "no" is one step closer to "Yes".

Post: #10

(06-23-2012 11:01 AM)tjames Wrote:  Guy I Was With
He wanted me to take him out and show him how I pick up women(or at least try to lol).

^ This. Most newbs are results oriented which is understandable. They learn something online, want to implement it in real life and see huge changes. Doesn't happen that way, it's always small baby steps. Also, my agenda for the night is to have fun. Being less outcome dependent helps.

Also, with tall women never bring up height IMO. They have heard it all. 10 days back I bounced this 6'2'' pro volley ball brunette from a wine tasting event. At the next venue she disclosed that the reason she came with me was that all guys opened her with something about her height. I am 5'7'' and was wearing converse that night.

Post: #11

I'll take a full on scientific approach to realign this down.

1. Halo shirt guy, he lowers you by simply beig with you a full 2-5 points. Don't go out with guys to help them unless they can be helped. You cant make a starving person eat unless they are willing to swallow.
2. Being in a car who backs out last second crying? Not only should you drop this dude as a friend he destroyed your vibe going in. Life is harsh cut out the laggards. If you're not into that, simply avoid all contact when regard to gaming.
3. 11 approach failures? Try 11 successes. I have gone nights where the following has happened (drink in face, switch shirts, guy spills red wine on my shirt, go back home change, come back o new venue strike out 5 more times, change venues 0/5 again, end of night goose egg.) the best part? I have had nights damn near similar to the one just described that ended in a ONS, I worked hard and refuse to let anyone disturb my mindset.

Make no mistake. "THE HARDER YOU WORK THE 'LUCKIER 'YOU GET"

I'd rather get rejected by 100,000 girls and get one I want than "let shit happen"
4. Your typing shows your age. Do not use "lol" that shit died years ago. Maybe you're just being lazy I am from time to time (again young person) but needs to be cleaned out.
5. Couples are the best sometimes. Talk to the dude integrate into group. Couples usually hang with "single friends" to try and bring spice to their boring ass love lives. Now you can game the friends easier because her friends already like you. Everyone is an opportunity except a negative guy/girl. These people you just back turn.

Have fun, and approach even more. Gettig rejected is almost humerous when you realize what the girl missed out on. Remember, you're the most interesting person in the room so her loss, oh well.

Post: #12

(07-02-2012 12:00 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  refuse to let anyone disturb my mindset

A playboy must learn to control his emotional state at all times.

Post: #13

(07-02-2012 12:00 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  Have fun, and approach even more. Gettig rejected is almost humerous when you realize what the girl missed out on. Remember, you're the most interesting person in the room so her loss, oh well.

Post: #14

(06-24-2012 08:21 PM)houston Wrote:  Man, clubs are horrible for talking to girls. Don't put yourself through that if you're just starting out. Do day game and bars. Anything but clubs.

I dont think many people understand this.

I also believe the same, clubs are bad places to pull women. 85% of my bangs were during day game. I think during the day girls are easier to approach and easier to close. Night game aint my fuerte for sure.

Post: #15

If you are pulling like crazy then awesome! If you have the energy to do both night/ day game you are not maxing out your potential. The fastest way to gain confidence is by doing things that make you uncomfortable. I realized day game made me "feel weird" so I've been doing it aggressively and this boosts your base level self esteem. Maybe hit clubs hard for a month, something good will happen.

Note, I am a club rat at night, "clothing shopper for my fake cousin by day" ha!

(07-03-2012 05:11 AM)pitt Wrote:  

(06-24-2012 08:21 PM)houston Wrote:  Man, clubs are horrible for talking to girls. Don't put yourself through that if you're just starting out. Do day game and bars. Anything but clubs.

I dont think many people understand this.

I also believe the same, clubs are bad places to pull women. 85% of my bangs were during day game. I think during the day girls are easier to approach and easier to close. Night game aint my fuerte for sure.

Post: #16

(07-02-2012 12:00 PM)WestCoast Wrote:  I'll take a full on scientific approach to realign this down.

1. Halo shirt guy, he lowers you by simply beig with you a full 2-5 points. Don't go out with guys to help them unless they can be helped. You cant make a starving person eat unless they are willing to swallow.
2. Being in a car who backs out last second crying? Not only should you drop this dude as a friend he destroyed your vibe going in. Life is harsh cut out the laggards. If you're not into that, simply avoid all contact when regard to gaming.
3. 11 approach failures? Try 11 successes. I have gone nights where the following has happened (drink in face, switch shirts, guy spills red wine on my shirt, go back home change, come back o new venue strike out 5 more times, change venues 0/5 again, end of night goose egg.) the best part? I have had nights damn near similar to the one just described that ended in a ONS, I worked hard and refuse to let anyone disturb my mindset.

Make no mistake. "THE HARDER YOU WORK THE 'LUCKIER 'YOU GET"

I'd rather get rejected by 100,000 girls and get one I want than "let shit happen"
4. Your typing shows your age. Do not use "lol" that shit died years ago. Maybe you're just being lazy I am from time to time (again young person) but needs to be cleaned out.
5. Couples are the best sometimes. Talk to the dude integrate into group. Couples usually hang with "single friends" to try and bring spice to their boring ass love lives. Now you can game the friends easier because her friends already like you. Everyone is an opportunity except a negative guy/girl. These people you just back turn.

Have fun, and approach even more. Gettig rejected is almost humerous when you realize what the girl missed out on. Remember, you're the most interesting person in the room so her loss, oh well.

1) It happened because I was too afraid to go out solo, otherwise I'd have never gone out with a guy dressed like that. But I stress 'was' now that I go out solo I can play by my own rules, avoid inadverent cockblocking and feel like more of a man since I went out alone.

2) My friends are all flakes who cancel plans at the last minute or who are really socially retarded and dress like bums. They also are a financial burden on me and I have regretted loaning money never to see it returned too many times. They'd rather spend time pining over one girl than realize the grass is greener on the other side. Not worth my time if I want a player lifestyle.

3) I was so surprised by it because I had a successful night the night before so I figured gee this is going to be a repeat of that night. I had a bruised ego for a while but then I realized that I approached more girls that night then I did in my entire grade school career(from 12 to 18). Game is like a game of chance where you can rig a lot of the odds in your favor but you still can lose.

4) Yea that is something I need to work on I think it's still leftovers from my previous AFC mindset.

5) I'm afraid of couples because I heard a lot of horror stories about guys trying to pick up a girl only to have her boyfriend and his friends gang up like pussies against one guy. This is pretty common at the place I was gaming so I was too afraid to risk it. That is, I still approached mix sets but backed out when I learned the guy was a girl's boyfriend. It happened to my uncle in fact, a girl came on to him and then her jealous boyfriend ganged up against him with his friends. They didn't just use their fists either.

(07-03-2012 08:21 AM)WestCoast Wrote:  If you are pulling like crazy then awesome! If you have the energy to do both night/ day game you are not maxing out your potential. The fastest way to gain confidence is by doing things that make you uncomfortable. I realized day game made me "feel weird" so I've been doing it aggressively and this boosts your base level self esteem. Maybe hit clubs hard for a month, something good will happen.

Note, I am a club rat at night, "clothing shopper for my fake cousin by day" ha!

(07-03-2012 05:11 AM)pitt Wrote:  

(06-24-2012 08:21 PM)houston Wrote:  Man, clubs are horrible for talking to girls. Don't put yourself through that if you're just starting out. Do day game and bars. Anything but clubs.

I dont think many people understand this.

I also believe the same, clubs are bad places to pull women. 85% of my bangs were during day game. I think during the day girls are easier to approach and easier to close. Night game aint my fuerte for sure.

I am going to hit up bars during the weekend nights and hit up the coffee shops and downtown during the day. I'm cutting off all hope on other guys being turned into decent wingmen or at least non-cockblockers.

Post: #17

Good work TJ!

I think you can get over #5. That's just unnecessary fear, turn into a "beta" if you need to avoid conflict. If i find out the guy is super insecure and wants to fight me over a girl and has a possy to kill me, I will literally tell him "Hey sorry man I apologize". Yeah it's "beta" but i don't want to ruin my pretty face, better to wave a white flag in that situation... very rare though.

"I'm cutting off all hope on other guys being turned into decent wingmen or at least non-cockblockers."

Unless you two are on the same page it is more work to have a wing. Even if i were to go out with one of the high rep guys on here, we wouldn't gel together immediately. Fishbowls may be different, subtle communication, having a wingman is no different than having a person you have played basketball with your entire life (you know he wants to do a back door cut/take that hook shot etc.). But if you find a guy committed to go out and slay, keep him around for sure since you'll start to click eventually.