Post: #3301

(09-02-2017 12:13 PM)LEMONed IScream Wrote:  The cliché question will come up again, even while in No Porn Tho, how often really should you fap? No girl at the moment and that is ticking me off. If I spend a week without fapping I go nuts. Sure, I should just try to get girls again but cumming in 1 minute as opposed to 30-40-50-1hr as I said before is embarassing.

Why do you care?

Post: #3302

(09-03-2017 06:17 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

(09-02-2017 12:13 PM)LEMONed IScream Wrote:  The cliché question will come up again, even while in No Porn Tho, how often really should you fap? No girl at the moment and that is ticking me off. If I spend a week without fapping I go nuts. Sure, I should just try to get girls again but cumming in 1 minute as opposed to 30-40-50-1hr as I said before is embarassing.

Why do you care?

Guys give this way too much thought.

Go slow during round 1, embrace the moment. Stop thrusting if you're about to bust. I often last 5-10min.

In my experience, if the foreplay was good enough, most women will have climaxed at least once by then.

If you are worried, give a good laugh and say: "Wow, that was fast. You are so sexy I couldn't hold back. Give me a few and I'll be ready again", and give them a kiss.

Another thing to take into account is your refractory period will likely shorten with Nofap. It used to take me about 40min to be on for round 2; with Nofap, I was rock hard in 20min.

Plus, sex just feels better.

Post: #3303

Day 2 again after a relapse. I'm finding that there are several instances of what causes a relapse in my particular case. I'm posting them below so that hopefully others can be aware of what might cause you to relapse as well.

1. Facebook. Too many attractive female friends who post pics of their skimpy outfits. Huge temptation to download and fap to those images, given that you know these girls in real life.

Solution: I deleted all images of them that are skimpy from my phone, and spend a lot less time on facebook these days. Most of the time it is just nonsense.

2. Not having a regular sleep/work schedule increases the chance of relapse.

I set my own hours, which is a bad thing at times when you go to bed late. The later I stay awake, the more likely I am tempted to watch porn. Sometimes you just want a release before you go to bed, but watching electronic screens with simulated sex isn't what our bodies were designed for.

Solution: I set alarms that repeat on my phone each evening to get off the computer by an earlier time, several hours before bedtime. I increase my reading time or other quiet activities to settle the mind down.

3. I workout regularly and feel less temptation to watch porn because exercise pumps you up, and fapping takes your mental and physical strength away.

Solution: Make exercise a priority, set a schedule and stick to it.

4. Keep a daily journal. Document your number of days of nofap, as it can be encouraging to see that number grow instead of just posting in this thread when you've relapsed.

If you have any other ideas for longevity of nofap, I'm all ears.

Post: #3304

I relapsed after day 38. It was from sheer boredom. My PC broke down so I couldn't work on my business, it's a fucking holiday so nobody is willing to get together, and I already went to the gym. Shit sucks. The afterglow was great, as it was the only orgasm I had in the 38 days. But still, sucks afterward. I'm looking forward to the new challenge though.

I've found that my workout routine of 4x/wk weight training has helped to empty most of my sexual energy. Doused with a hot sauna and a cold shower it really takes the edge off.

I do wonder if relapsing will have an effect on my work drive and strength in the gym. I will write an update and let y'all know.

Here's to another 2 months fap free. Play on gents!

Post: #3305

(09-04-2017 02:33 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  Day 2 again after a relapse. I'm finding that there are several instances of what causes a relapse in my particular case. I'm posting them below so that hopefully others can be aware of what might cause you to relapse as well.

1. Facebook. Too many attractive female friends who post pics of their skimpy outfits. Huge temptation to download and fap to those images, given that you know these girls in real life.

Solution: I deleted all images of them that are skimpy from my phone, and spend a lot less time on facebook these days. Most of the time it is just nonsense.

2. Not having a regular sleep/work schedule increases the chance of relapse.

I set my own hours, which is a bad thing at times when you go to bed late. The later I stay awake, the more likely I am tempted to watch porn. Sometimes you just want a release before you go to bed, but watching electronic screens with simulated sex isn't what our bodies were designed for.

Solution: I set alarms that repeat on my phone each evening to get off the computer by an earlier time, several hours before bedtime. I increase my reading time or other quiet activities to settle the mind down.

3. I workout regularly and feel less temptation to watch porn because exercise pumps you up, and fapping takes your mental and physical strength away.

Solution: Make exercise a priority, set a schedule and stick to it.

4. Keep a daily journal. Document your number of days of nofap, as it can be encouraging to see that number grow instead of just posting in this thread when you've relapsed.

If you have any other ideas for longevity of nofap, I'm all ears.

Good suggestions. I got rid of facebook 5 years ago, so that's not an issue for me. The rest are habits that I practice and endorse as well.

A few more:

- Try to avoid spending a lot of time online, particularly when you're alone and/or bored.

This is probably tough for most guys on here since most of us likely live alone and spend a lot of time online. Still, addictions thrive in secrecy and watching porn is a lot less convenient when you're surrounded by other people. In fact, it might be best to limit internet time in general outside of work/business. This is something I struggle with mightily, but I find it much easier to abstain from PMO when I'm away from the computer and engaged in the world around me.

- If the last one isn't possible, then at least consider installing a porn blocker.

I know opinions vary wildly on this. Some say that a porn blocker is a crutch and you need to develop enough willpower to get by without one. Others say that it's imperative to limit access to the drug. After all, you wouldn't keep a pack of cigarettes in front of you all day if you're trying to quit smoking. Both approaches have their merits, and I've tried both extensively. Currently I'm using K9 as a deterrent. It's not foolproof and it can be removed if you're a little tech savvy/motivated, but it does help prevent you from constantly seeing things that might trigger a relapse.

- Avoid other behaviors that often contribute to relapsing.

Drinking, drugs, eating shitty food, etc...a lack of willpower when it comes to stuff like this makes it very easy to indulge in porn as well. I don't do drugs and my diet is on point for the most part, but I do tend to struggle with porn urges a lot more when I drink. Dramatically reducing my alcohol intake helps me stay focused, and it's a lot harder for me to justify relapsing when I'm sober. Not to mention all the other benefits that come with limiting alcohol consumption.

- It's been beaten to death already, but actively chasing pussy is far more rewarding than jerking off to pixels.

Personally, it's much easier to abstain from porn when I'm pursuing girls IRL. Fuck pussies, not your hand. And if you must fuck your hand due to lack of access to pussy, then do so without the aid of porn.

- Meditate.

This is another habit I've struggled to cultivate, but whenever I've had my best no PMO streaks I was also meditating regularly. It's like weight training for your mind. It will be much easier to let PMO urges pass (and they will pass) when you're used to detaching from fleeting thoughts.

- Pray.

This one won't be for everyone and that's ok, so disregard if you're not into it. But if you believe in a higher power then there's no shame in asking for help and trying to deepen your spiritual strength to help you in this battle (and in life in general). Prayer is a very personal thing, so I won't expand on this now, but if anyone is interested in some good prayers that are applicable to this problem let me know and I'll post a few.

Post: #3306

(09-04-2017 02:02 PM)Ringo Wrote:  

(09-03-2017 06:17 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

(09-02-2017 12:13 PM)LEMONed IScream Wrote:  The cliché question will come up again, even while in No Porn Tho, how often really should you fap? No girl at the moment and that is ticking me off. If I spend a week without fapping I go nuts. Sure, I should just try to get girls again but cumming in 1 minute as opposed to 30-40-50-1hr as I said before is embarassing.

Why do you care?

Guys give this way too much thought.

Go slow during round 1, embrace the moment. Stop thrusting if you're about to bust. I often last 5-10min.

In my experience, if the foreplay was good enough, most women will have climaxed at least once by then.

If you are worried, give a good laugh and say: "Wow, that was fast. You are so sexy I couldn't hold back. Give me a few and I'll be ready again", and give them a kiss.

Another thing to take into account is your refractory period will likely shorten with Nofap. It used to take me about 40min to be on for round 2; with Nofap, I was rock hard in 20min.

Plus, sex just feels better.

Bingo.

You could also try this new thing called "telling the fucking truth."

"Yeah I don't jack off, so I come really fast if I haven't had sex in a while. We can keep going though."

Fix a drink
Keep your clothes off
Rub her back
Eat her pussy
and wait for your cock to bounce back.

Sex doesn't end when you cum.

Post: #3307

(09-04-2017 03:54 PM)redbeard Wrote:  Bingo.

You could also try this new thing called "telling the fucking truth."

"Yeah I don't jack off, so I come really fast if I haven't had sex in a while. We can keep going though."

Fix a drink
Keep your clothes off
Rub her back
Eat her pussy
and wait for your cock to bounce back.

Sex doesn't end when you cum.

Personally I don't like telling them I don't jack off.

I've straight up told a girl about it once but it brought up a subject I didn't want to discuss with her: "So if you don't masturbate, when was the last time you came?", which quickly lead to "Who did you have sex with? When was it?".

It's not like I'm lying about it - if they ask, I'll tell them. I just don't volunteer the information.

Post: #3308

(09-04-2017 02:33 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  Day 2 again after a relapse. I'm finding that there are several instances of what causes a relapse in my particular case. I'm posting them below so that hopefully others can be aware of what might cause you to relapse as well.

1. Facebook. Too many attractive female friends who post pics of their skimpy outfits. Huge temptation to download and fap to those images, given that you know these girls in real life.

Solution: I deleted all images of them that are skimpy from my phone, and spend a lot less time on facebook these days. Most of the time it is just nonsense.

2. Not having a regular sleep/work schedule increases the chance of relapse.

I set my own hours, which is a bad thing at times when you go to bed late. The later I stay awake, the more likely I am tempted to watch porn. Sometimes you just want a release before you go to bed, but watching electronic screens with simulated sex isn't what our bodies were designed for.

Solution: I set alarms that repeat on my phone each evening to get off the computer by an earlier time, several hours before bedtime. I increase my reading time or other quiet activities to settle the mind down.

3. I workout regularly and feel less temptation to watch porn because exercise pumps you up, and fapping takes your mental and physical strength away.

Solution: Make exercise a priority, set a schedule and stick to it.

4. Keep a daily journal. Document your number of days of nofap, as it can be encouraging to see that number grow instead of just posting in this thread when you've relapsed.

If you have any other ideas for longevity of nofap, I'm all ears.

Good stuff. The only thing I would add is just don't touch. One thing leds to another.

Post: #3309

Listened to a podcast today that I think those in this thread might find interesting and useful. It talks about the effects of porn on the body from a scientific perspective. For myself, I have found that reading about the health benefits of eating healthy food and doing IF has helped me stay the course at times when I would have cheated in the past and so think maybe something like this may provide a similar result for those looking to do the same in this area.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhqx7yctQVk

Post: #3310

Sooo I relapsed a bunch.

Tomorrow morning will mark....1 successful day of no-fap and no-porn.

This road is long and hard. Intermittently.

G

Post: #3311

I'm back on the wagon. Day 5 now.

I've decided to take up smoking again. Anytime I feel the urge, I go out for a smoke. Obviously not the healthiest replacement hobby, but it is quick and offers instant gratification.

It's been quite effective, though granted it's only been a few days.

Perhaps a year from now I will be beating off anytime I feel like smoking, in order to quit. We'll see what happens

Post: #3312

Day 6!

I've found this "panic button" on reddit to help people who are about to relapse:

Quote:1. Take your fucking hand out of your pants right now. Touch yourself again before reading all of this and you're a fucking failure.
2. Get rid of that big mofo down below. Hold your breath, flex your quads, whatever its takes.
3. Play your favourite song.
4. Take 10 deep breaths and relax, then repeat after me 10 times:
"I do not edge, I do not masturbate, I do not watch porn. I am stronger than this. I WILL ABSTAIN FROM PMO."

Now that you're thinking clearly, keep the following in mind. You can stop whenever you think you're ready.
Your brain will try to rationalise anything to get what it wants. ANYTHING. This isn't you, your brain wants dopamine. You are more than that though, you are more than chemicals and hormones, you are mind over matter. Prove you have the self control, prove your better than this.
If you give up, you're giving up everything. The ADHD, procrastination, depression and social anxiety will return.
You're giving up your chances with that girl you like, your increased energy levels, your deeper voice, your confidence, your work ethic, your habits, your willpower, your clear skin, your self respect, your appreciation of life, your happiness.

If you fap you're just becoming numb, non-existent. Why on earth would you waste another second PMOing when you could be out experiencing life, connecting with the ones you love, learning, travelling, bettering yourself, building something meaningful, living your life.

Now close this, go out there and experience life.
Still reading? Start again from the start.
Still want to fap?

Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. If you truly want to throw away your life for a quick dopamine rush and a lifetime of regret, be my guest. You're pathetic.
Prove to me otherwise.

It's a little extreme. But appears to be written for those who are having real sexual issues rather than doing this for side benefit or challenge. Useful, nonetheless.

Post: #3313

I don't know if anyone here feels this way, but I currently can not see any real benefit for myself, for not fapping.

When I have ED I think its nervousness, and my own natural protection mechanism against women I shouldn't mess with anyway. There are some women I struggle at first with to get it up with, and others that I am practically busting a nut on before I get it out of my pants.

I'm naturally a high energy, aggressive guy, and have been my whole life. I workout a lot with intense exercise(HIIT, Crossfit, etc). I keep it under control with meditation and a strong self-oriented approach to people in general, I just generally withdraw from people if I need to. I physically remove myself from situations of randomness with other people, like clubs and random bar bullshit that always pops up.

I tend to over think, over react, over emote, etc. Fapping calms me down, and helps me go to sleep. I got to 5 days in a row once of no fapp, and its like my body completely shut down. I didnt feel right.

I suffer from ADD. Maybe not fapping could help with that? I dont know. I do however think that fapping too much is bad(more than 2x p day), and that excessive porn use is as well. I dont mind dropping porn, and get more excited with a plate sends nudes, than when I find one online.

Just random thoughts.

Post: #3314

The sleeping wake state of the morn and combined morning wood, it's like I half consciously am thinking about sex no matter what; that's the toughest part. Especially when it's been weeks.

Post: #3315

(09-11-2017 04:19 PM)Kid Twist Wrote:  The sleeping wake state of the morn and combined morning wood, it's like I half consciously am thinking about sex no matter what; that's the toughest part. Especially when it's been weeks.

Yes, those half conscious moments are really tempting, thats when I usually jerk off lol. Its crazy tho since it feels like a dream since im not 100% conscious.

Post: #3316

Id like to contribute to this thread as I am currently on my 7th Day of noFap unplanned but now I plan to continue.

I have been Red Stag hunting for the last week with some men and sleeping in the same room so it was not appropriate to fap.

After the hunt I have been around some women that seemed to be eyeballing me and I just felt like I was abnormally attractive to them...completely subjective .

My voice seems deeper.

I think clearer and more motivated.

When I fall asleep I sleep more deeply.

I plan to continue abstaining for the balance of september and will report back on my findings

Post: #3317

7 days in for me after probably the 100th reset in the last year. Passed a big test yesterday in that I had some time alone on the computer and I can't remember how ended up looking at porn. Normally this would be a one way street to fapping. However, I was able to realise what was going on stop, shut down the browser and turn the machine off. That's progress.

Post: #3318

Day 35. I feel great, especially considering the place in life I am currently in (finishing college and working on it 120%).

Post: #3319

Vaun, you are on to something. I'm not add or hyper at all, but I think there is a level of either attraction, comfort, or all of the above when dealing with any random girl. That's why random is bad for a healthy person, there's no lead up or comfort to link your brain and body in a harmonious way to the pursued (girl). I know a lot of people can do it, but that doesn't mean it's the natural way to go at it or practice at. The rest of the details are just an aside, and clearly singular routines (web surfing in general, dating apps, porn etc) that one associates with sexual things just make it all worse --- but they are still just details. I think it's that the natural life of social interaction and normal courting is a thing of the past and this is all a symptom of that being lost, in many ways. If you like the person, your body will respond. If you are just looking at it from a purely, boner get to gettin! aspect, she has to basically be an 7-8 or its ... maybe not, dude. More later.

Post: #3320

Day 10. Having some difficulty sleeping over the past couple of days-- usually I beat off right before bed. I'm reading Orwell's 1984 to replace that habit. Hopefully there are no pornographic scenes in the book

Post: #3321

(09-14-2017 07:10 AM)Lucky Wrote:  Day 10. Having some difficulty sleeping over the past couple of days-- usually I beat off right before bed. I'm reading Orwell's 1984 to replace that habit. Hopefully there are no pornographic scenes in the book

There are erotic and sex scenes in that story.
Pick another book.
Want to fall asleep ?...use a religious book.

Post: #3322

Excluding sex with women, I stayed on the bandwagon for 6 months. What helped for me was a cluster of factors, all of which were greater than the sum of the parts:

1) exercise & diet - built discipline by cutting out 80% of sugar from my diet and eating healthily, while doing crossfit 4 times a week.

2) date actively - because of the diet & exercise my testosterone went up and i was even hornier than normal. Used the extra energy to do game and date/fuck women.

3) device avoidance - since it's no longer the 90s and no one beats off to smut rags, it makes sense that the less time you spend on your laptop/desktop/phone/tablet the less temptation to beat off. If you need to use your devices, use them in a public place.

4) space avoidance - if you're the type who will rub one out while in private, then avoid being in your room/study unless absolutely necessary. Same point as 3, but with whackoff locations.

5) stay fully clothed - the more articles of clothing you have, the more barriers to beating off.

Post: #3323

(09-14-2017 07:15 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

(09-14-2017 07:10 AM)Lucky Wrote:  Day 10. Having some difficulty sleeping over the past couple of days-- usually I beat off right before bed. I'm reading Orwell's 1984 to replace that habit. Hopefully there are no pornographic scenes in the book

There are erotic and sex scenes in that story.
Pick another book.
Want to fall asleep ?...use a religious book.

Here's some ways to sleep better:

1. Go bed earlier. Like 10pm early. Wake up at 6am. Do this for about a month and you'll get better sleep and be more productive. Set an alarm to wake up early, but also set an alarm TO GO TO BED EARLY SO YOU STAY ON TRACK. Always try to go to bed and wake up at the same time to put your body in a proper cycle, even on off days from work.
2. Take a little bit of magnesium before bedtime. You can buy capsules online, or there's even a magnesium oil that you can spray on your skin to absorb transdermally. Works great as a sleep aid.
3. Avoid eating big meals at night, especially anything that has simple sugars that make you hyper.
4. Turn off the TV, cell phone and any electronic screens a full two hours before bed.
5. Read and pray before bedtime if you're religious. Best to focus the mind on something more meditative than exciting like videogames/porn/tv ust before bedtime.

Post: #3324

(09-16-2017 12:58 PM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

(09-14-2017 07:15 AM)Mercenary Wrote:  

(09-14-2017 07:10 AM)Lucky Wrote:  Day 10. Having some difficulty sleeping over the past couple of days-- usually I beat off right before bed. I'm reading Orwell's 1984 to replace that habit. Hopefully there are no pornographic scenes in the book

There are erotic and sex scenes in that story.
Pick another book.
Want to fall asleep ?...use a religious book.

Here's some ways to sleep better:

1. Go bed earlier. Like 10pm early. Wake up at 6am. Do this for about a month and you'll get better sleep and be more productive. Set an alarm to wake up early, but also set an alarm TO GO TO BED EARLY SO YOU STAY ON TRACK. Always try to go to bed and wake up at the same time to put your body in a proper cycle, even on off days from work.
2. Take a little bit of magnesium before bedtime. You can buy capsules online, or there's even a magnesium oil that you can spray on your skin to absorb transdermally. Works great as a sleep aid.
3. Avoid eating big meals at night, especially anything that has simple sugars that make you hyper.
4. Turn off the TV, cell phone and any electronic screens a full two hours before bed.
5. Read and pray before bedtime if you're religious. Best to focus the mind on something more meditative than exciting like videogames/porn/tv ust before bedtime.

Don't forget Bright Light Therapy for Regularizing Sleep and Reducing Depression and Anxiety

Post: #3325

(09-04-2017 04:14 PM)Ringo Wrote:  

(09-04-2017 03:54 PM)redbeard Wrote:  Bingo.

You could also try this new thing called "telling the fucking truth."

"Yeah I don't jack off, so I come really fast if I haven't had sex in a while. We can keep going though."

Fix a drink
Keep your clothes off
Rub her back
Eat her pussy
and wait for your cock to bounce back.

Sex doesn't end when you cum.

Personally I don't like telling them I don't jack off.

I've straight up told a girl about it once but it brought up a subject I didn't want to discuss with her: "So if you don't masturbate, when was the last time you came?", which quickly lead to "Who did you have sex with? When was it?".

It's not like I'm lying about it - if they ask, I'll tell them. I just don't volunteer the information.

If you insist on answering...

"About a month ago."

"I had a girlfriend in xyz town."

No problems there.