Post: #1

been seeing this girl about 2-3 times per wk over the last 2 month or so and we text pretty much daily, even if it's just a simple one or two texts back and forth.

Saturday night, we banged and she was acting all self conscious saying "all you care about is sex" and afterwards saying "do you think we have good sex? I want you to have a good time in bed with me." I reassured her it was good because she seemed vulnerable and didn't seem like a time for C&F or shit-test response. she left Sunday seeming all was good.

Monday we texted a bit. Tuesday I got done with work and texted "I'm hungry let's get dinner." She responded "I'm at the movies with [her roommate]." I didn't respond but on Wednesday, I texted her saying "I'm gonna be in your neck of the woods this evening, are you free?" She didn't respond and hasn't texted anything since then.

So here is my question(s):

1. Do I make it known that I don't appreciate her not responding or do I just ignore that and hit her up again? My gut tells me that if I call her out for not responding, it will come off as insecure.

2. Can I re-open with another invite to hang out, even though she basically turned me down two times in a row? Should I take the "ball is in her court" mentality and not contact her at all until she reaches out to me?

I always over-analyze things and I am admittedly not good when it comes to relationship game and I really want to get these kinds of situations handled. Any advice is appreciated. thanks.

Post: #2

Shes probably just getting bored of you or is getting banged by someone else. Show her you don't need her and go on with doing all of the interesting, time consuming things in your life. You do spend most of your time doing interesting things or hanging out with other women do you not?

Basically, do not contact her until she contacts you, do not do it as a petty, passive aggressive move to get back at her do it because she is acting in a way which you don't like. She is being punished, if she doesn't shape up you will continue on with better girls. It doesn't matter if she ever talks to you again. Whatever you do don't get mad/lose it on her that will show her you are needy.

Post: #3

(05-10-2012 02:19 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  Shes probably just getting bored of you or is getting banged by someone else. Show her you don't need her and go on with doing all of the interesting, time consuming things in your life. You do spend most of your time doing interesting things or hanging out with other women do you not?

Basically, do not contact her until she contacts you, do not do it as a petty, passive aggressive move to get back at her do it because she is acting in a way which you don't like. She is being punished, if she doesn't shape up you will continue on with better girls. It doesn't matter if she ever talks to you again. Whatever you do don't get mad/lose it on her that will show her you are needy.

thanks, Westerncancer. This is solid advice and is what I was leaning toward.

However, I do think she is worth pursuing a LTR with and while I have 2 other solid options - in fact I had a date with one last night since she didn't respond to me - but I am not as attracted to them as I am to her. About a week ago, she texted me saying "I want to sleep in your bed" and I responded "I want you in my bed, preferably without clothes on." She responds "one track mind" and then later made that comment about me caring about sex too much. I wonder if she has been turned off by this and truly does think I am using her only for sex and have ill-intent. If that's the case, I need to do something that shows I enjoy seeing her but not seem beta/needy about it. does that make sense? Is that even possible?

Post: #4

other suggestions welcome.

Post: #5

I would wait a few days before reopening her in the least.

That gives her some time to reinitiate contact. If you are the next one to make contact, I wouldn't necessarily start with asking to hang out - just something generic like an how things are going or an inside joke the two of you may have. That will get a text convo going then you can feel her out.

Post: #6

(05-10-2012 06:36 PM)Hoopster Wrote:  I would wait a few days before reopening her in the least.

That gives her some time to reinitiate contact. If you are the next one to make contact, I wouldn't necessarily start with asking to hang out - just something generic like an how things are going or an inside joke the two of you may have. That will get a text convo going then you can feel her out.

With this you're still submitting to her will. You need to show you have the upper hand by not talking to her until she either apologizes for flaking, or says something that will make you want to go back to her.

Post: #7

I'd echo Western's advice. Invariably you'll have a girl in your rotation that is hotter or higher value than the others. If she's losing interest in you there's a multitude of possibilities that's impossible for us to know. You could examine your own behavior around her and dissect your game, or you could just say fuckit and move on. If you keep things natural and don't force anything, ignore her and display your own value, there's a solid chance she'll hit you up again.

Post: #8

I'd go with the advice of the others in here with ignoring here until she makes contact with you again.

If she doesn't, move on.

Post: #9

(05-10-2012 06:42 PM)WesternCancer Wrote:  

(05-10-2012 06:36 PM)Hoopster Wrote:  I would wait a few days before reopening her in the least.

That gives her some time to reinitiate contact. If you are the next one to make contact, I wouldn't necessarily start with asking to hang out - just something generic like an how things are going or an inside joke the two of you may have. That will get a text convo going then you can feel her out.

With this you're still submitting to her will. You need to show you have the upper hand by not talking to her until she either apologizes for flaking, or says something that will make you want to go back to her.

5 yrs ago I had a very similar situation. We had already banged a couple times ( a solid 5) but she had some chit with her ex since her divorce wasn't quite final, BLAH BLAH......and I texted and called like crazy!! Total beta shit! When she finally got back to me, it was to tell me to get lost!!

This is my first post here, and I am a long way from having game like I want to have, but 2 weeks ago, I had this happen again. This time, the girl (7), kind of a cocky attitude on her...........we hadn't banged but she sent me phone pics of her in her panties like a tease and then I didn't hear from her for 4 days.

Now, I shouldn't have cared, I know, but I just had to bang her so what did I do?........ I learned!!! I never contacted her in any way shape or form and now, after getting a huge apology text, YADA YADA.....I banged the shit out of her!
After that, she still wanted the upper hand with little smartass slams via text and all that cocky testing. I told her to fuck off with all that.................. she can't get enough of me now!!!

Nice guys finish last!!!

Post: #10

well guys, I actually just got a text from her: "hey sorry I haven't been responding...I'm just going through some shit right now"

I guess a Beta-ish response is in order seeing as how she seems upset about something. I have been really alpha with her up until this point - laughing off her "miss you" comments and "I wanna sleep in your bed" comments and not being emotional with her at all but I think there might be a time and place for a little bit of beta sprinkled in and this might be that time...what do you think?

Post: #11

Don't go too far with it. I'd wait a day before responding and then say something like, "Hope you're okay. Lets get together soon and you can cry on my shoulder "

Girls will say "I'm going through some shit right now" as a catch all phrase that can mean absolutely anything. Maybe she had a 48 hour bender and fucked an ex, maybe her cat died, maybe her tax refund was less than she thought. Girls are always going through some shit, so don't rush to her feet to console her, just maintain the course of being a fun guy to hang out with and fuck.

Post: #12

"Girls are always going through some shit,..."

Post: #13

(05-11-2012 08:46 PM)Deadman Wrote:  "Girls are always going through some shit,..."

I can remember saying to one of my first girlfriends "I don't understand how you can have a different crisis every day". I actually thought it was a characteristic unique to her, until I later discovered that it's every woman, everywhere, every day, doing the exact same thing.

Post: #14

yea well yesterday after she texted "Im sorry I haven't been answering, I've been going through some shit" My response to her was "I hope you're ok. Call me soon and I can take your mind off it." I noticed she completely deactivated her Facebook yesterday, too.

then she texted me 10 hrs later: "I'm fine, just cant talk"

I took that as a sign that she is either fucking someone else or doesn't want anything to do with me right now. Either that, or some seriously bad shit happened and she really cant talk but I doubt that.

I replied "glad you're ok" and we haven't spoken since.

I am gonna leave her alone completely now, but the fact that she deactivated her FB is kinda odd. I am actually curious now as to what the hell is happening because last time I saw her, everything was completely fine. Bitches and their mood swings...

Post: #15

(05-12-2012 03:05 AM)plague Wrote:  

(05-11-2012 08:46 PM)Deadman Wrote:  "Girls are always going through some shit,..."

I can remember saying to one of my first girlfriends "I don't understand how you can have a different crisis every day". I actually thought it was a characteristic unique to her, until I later discovered that it's every woman, everywhere, every day, doing the exact same thing.

Amen brotha.

It's amazing at all the events that happen on the specific day you want to chill.

I need to play the lottery more often.

Post: #16

(05-14-2012 01:37 PM)NYJ Wrote:  

(05-12-2012 03:05 AM)plague Wrote:  

(05-11-2012 08:46 PM)Deadman Wrote:  "Girls are always going through some shit,..."

I can remember saying to one of my first girlfriends "I don't understand how you can have a different crisis every day". I actually thought it was a characteristic unique to her, until I later discovered that it's every woman, everywhere, every day, doing the exact same thing.

Amen brotha.

It's amazing at all the events that happen on the specific day you want to chill.

I need to play the lottery more often.

lol.

I just found out that this bitch's Ex-BF is now back in the picture and that's why she has been cold-shouldering me. I was 99% certain this was the case and today I confirmed it.

I haven't spoken/texted her in a few days and will continue to not contact her until she contacts me. After typing this, I can't help but wonder what, if any, Game tactics can be used to combat an Ex-bf coming back into the picture. Seems like fodder for Roissy's blog...errr Heartiste's blog

Post: #17

I've been in that situation. In my case I was fucking this chick and she went back home for the holidays and basically tried to start things up with her college sweetheart. She came back and we fucked and she told me everything, literally right after we fucked, laying in bed, that she tried to get back with him. I just laughed. We dated for a while and she told me she wanted to be exclusive. I said that's fine and fucked girls behind her back and assfucked her and gave her as many facials as I could.

But anyway, back to your situation, there's no real tactics I think other than just going cold on her. This is the only way you can display your value, by basically not giving a shit about her. It's unlikely that she'll get serious with her ex bf, and somewhat likely that she'll hit you up again.

Post: #18

(05-11-2012 08:46 PM)Deadman Wrote:  "Girls are always going through some shit,..."

Man for real. I think we've talked about this somewhere on the board about American girls always acting like their lives have been/are so hard.

Post: #19

(05-11-2012 12:29 PM)thedude3737 Wrote:  Don't go too far with it. I'd wait a day before responding and then say something like, "Hope you're okay. Lets get together soon and you can cry on my shoulder "

Girls will say "I'm going through some shit right now" as a catch all phrase that can mean absolutely anything. Maybe she had a 48 hour bender and fucked an ex, maybe her cat died, maybe her tax refund was less than she thought. Girls are always going through some shit, so don't rush to her feet to console her, just maintain the course of being a fun guy to hang out with and fuck.

I love stupid replies. I texted this girl during the week to make plans to meet for drinks on Sunday. She says ok remind on Saturday. I replied, "Alright I'll send you flowers with a note". It's a cute way of telling her to fuck off.

You know what happened? I was like alright I put it out there. I ignored her all week. She never bothered follow up. Sunday came and went.

I expect women to flake these days. It's pointless to make plans. My default text is "Hey what are you doing tonight?"

I'll mass text new girls during the week trying to get them out that night.

Fridays and Saturdays I'll go out with a wing or dolo. If the night is going shitty I'll text one of my regulars for a meet-up after the bar.

Post: #20

(05-15-2012 01:32 AM)houston Wrote:  

(05-11-2012 08:46 PM)Deadman Wrote:  "Girls are always going through some shit,..."

Man for real. I think we've talked about this somewhere on the board about American girls always acting like their lives have been/are so hard.

When girls I know say that it means they couldn't score any free coke

Post: #21

parlay, that shit is hilarious. Girls flake more often than not these days. did that girl ever get back to you at any point?

Post: #22

(05-18-2012 05:35 PM)Klasmatic Wrote:  parlay, that shit is hilarious. Girls flake more often than not these days. did that girl ever get back to you at any point?

No and I don't care either.

Post: #23

(05-15-2012 08:16 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  I'll mass text new girls during the week trying to get them out that night.

What do u mass text? Is it an indirect direct text like, "just chillin tonite, lets hang out?" or is it more direct like "need u tonight. come over. hurry.?

Post: #24

(05-19-2012 06:40 AM)HiFlo Wrote:  

(05-15-2012 08:16 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  I'll mass text new girls during the week trying to get them out that night.

What do u mass text? Is it an indirect direct text like, "just chillin tonite, lets hang out?" or is it more direct like "need u tonight. come over. hurry.?

I like your first one better. The second one is kinda needy. It would probably be ok if you hit it already. I just send "Whatcha doin tonight?

I'm trying this new thing where I talk to women as if they're one of my guy friends. Talking shit and cracking jokes. It's been throwing them off a little bit. I'll let you know how it works out.