Post: #1

Anyone have any luck making friends when in the FSU?
I've gotten some advice that this is a good idea and can get someone to show you around town.

Frankly, I found a lot of the Ukrainian dudes I met to be uncultured and lazy...but there were a few that were worth talking to and were funny and smart people.

How do you go about meeting cool dudes in the FSU(places,activities ? Is it worth the effort/time?

Post: #2

Yeah as for Ukraine don't bother making any Ukrainian male friends, they serve no purpose whatsoever apart from to make you look better.

I only have one Ukrainian male who I consider a friend, and he's a bit weird.

Perhaps pulling one around with a chain around it's neck will impress the local girls.

Post: #3

The best thing I can say about Ukrainian men is that they are mostly passive, unlike the Polish for example, everytime I go to Poland I see the neanderthals scrapping on the street.

Post: #4

I dunno, but I think it might be a good idea to have some friends if you're living long term in another country. Its good to have someone to hang out with, and maybe show you around town and learn about the girls there.

I guess I can try meeting people at the local university.
I wonder how else people make friends in the FSU...seems like there are fewer opportunities for it than in the West or even Poland. People seem busy with work and family and already have social circles.

Post: #5

Where I am most of the foreigners do not have many Ukrainian male friends, we cannot relate to them. We cannot relate to Ukrainian women either, but we can put up with that because we want to have sex with them.

Better to get girls to show you around town, I once got a girl to show me this city and I ended up getting a happy ending on top of a clock tower.

University is great, for meeting girls. I walk into the university here asking where the English Faculty is and start hitting on girls. The problem is many know me there, I like to go once a month with someone different so I can tell them I am helping him find a job as a teacher.

I think the fact that it is harder is to do with cultural differences, and tight social circles rather than them working too hard etc. Also westerners are major competition to Ukrainians, you will no often get invited to the best house parties etc.

Post: #6

It's always good to have someoene to go for a beer and chat shit with, you can't talk about the same thing with women that you can with a fellow man.

Post: #7

There is also the language barrier, you will tolerate this with a girl, but it is pointless with a guy.

In the Balkans for example it is a bit better, better spoken English, more friendly, civilised males.

Post: #8

Ukrainians are good fellas but a bit stuck in the head I do not know how to express it properly.Poles are very nice Slavs and very smooth in conversation.I had offers from Ukrainian guys to join them for girl hunting in cars etc but there is considerable mentality difference.Belarussian guys are also nice Slavs but a bit boring.Russians are interesting Czechs eccentric and Serbs are the best the ones I can mostly relate to due to very common traditions and culture.With Serbs there is natural friendship we become friends from first minute.

If you want to have slavic males as friends just buy them some vodkas.Slavic men never say no to vodka.(except Czechs who prefer beer).

Post: #9

(03-20-2012 06:55 AM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  Ukrainians are good fellas but a bit stuck in the head I do not know how to express it properly.Poles are very nice Slavs and very smooth in conversation.I had offers from Ukrainian guys to join them for girl hunting in cars etc but there is considerable mentality difference.Belarussian guys are also nice Slavs but a bit boring.Russians are interesting Czechs eccentric and Serbs are the best the ones I can mostly relate to due to very common traditions and culture.With Serbs there is natural friendship we become friends from first minute.

If you want to have slavic males as friends just buy them some vodkas.Slavic men never say no to vodka.(except Czechs who prefer beer).

Good advice. I should just invite them out for a drink and say I want to talk more about their city, etc.

Post: #10

Dont necessarily need to meet the locals. Expats or travellers who will be sticking around can be a great source of mates for a few days/weeks/months.

-Couchsurfing

-Meetup.com for specialist groups

-ppl in hostels - in your dorm or any night organised by the hostel

-organised pub crawls

-Random cool guys in bars/clubs. For some reason I get along really well with aussies, so whenever I hear an aussie accent from a guy abroad in a bar or club I will make an effort to befriend them. Usually end up being cool, laid back guys, up for having a crack at some girls

Pickup forums (very hit and miss, but worth trying)

Post: #11

(03-19-2012 09:47 PM)Spartan Wrote:  Anyone have any luck making friends when in the FSU?

In Uzbekistan, this was incredibly easy. I never met guys so friendly and helpful. I wondered if they were starving for contact with the outside world.

Post: #12

Outside the US, most men like football (soccer), so this is the ideal vehicle to make male friends. I must have made 500 short term friends through football (soccer). Generally wherever I am I make it a point to understand the national team and main club team rivalries to some extent. So now I have a common point of conversation with like 80% of dudes in that country. Plus you can ask people about the games on TV in bars, etc. They CARE about it. Football (soccer), IMO is like the elderly opener to make friends with other dudes.

Then, because I play soccer (well), I can take any drunken conversation onto the beach to play a game. They all want to "beat the gringo" then find out it ain't that easy and often I'm walking away with their money, which I use to buy everyone more drinks. (Note: all Brazilians can kick your @ss unfortunately, but they'll respect you)

There's tons of different ways to leverage football (soccer) in making friends. I complemented this Brazilian dude on his special edition shirt last week in Florida and we talked for another 20 minutes with his family about the team. Now he's writing the team to improve marketing to North American gringos, we exchanged emails, and I'll look him up in SP next time I'm there. It's really easy.

(in the US, the NFL is the only thing that most men all watch, so a little knowledge can go a long way in making friends; even if you dislike it it gives you a point of common reference with dudes)

Post: #13

(03-20-2012 09:23 AM)46. Wrote:  Outside the US, most men like football (soccer), so this is the ideal vehicle to make male friends. I must have made 500 short term friends through football (soccer). Generally wherever I am I make it a point to understand the national team and main club team rivalries to some extent. So now I have a common point of conversation with like 80% of dudes in that country. Plus you can ask people about the games on TV in bars, etc. They CARE about it. Football (soccer), IMO is like the elderly opener to make friends with other dudes.

Then, because I play soccer (well), I can take any drunken conversation onto the beach to play a game. They all want to "beat the gringo" then find out it ain't that easy and often I'm walking away with their money, which I use to buy everyone more drinks. (Note: all Brazilians can kick your @ss unfortunately, but they'll respect you)

There's tons of different ways to leverage football (soccer) in making friends. I complemented this Brazilian dude on his special edition shirt last week in Florida and we talked for another 20 minutes with his family about the team. Now he's writing the team to improve marketing to North American gringos, we exchanged emails, and I'll look him up in SP next time I'm there. It's really easy.

(in the US, the NFL is the only thing that most men all watch, so a little knowledge can go a long way in making friends; even if you dislike it it gives you a point of common reference with dudes)

Thank you for the advice 46.

Post: #14

I think having male friends in the country you're in is very important. Too often you see noisy expats who only hang out with each other in their expat bars, not bothering to learn the country's culture and complaining about it and the locals at every opportunity. You should at least know and experience what it's like to be a man of that country. Besides, it opens up a whole new door of poon opportunity, where you're not limiting yourself to doing your pick up in foreigner bars on girls who are specifically looking to catch a foreigner. As Roosh pointed out in a thread, those girls can be <15% of all single girls in some cities, and most of the time the quality aren't in that 15%.

Post: #15

All good advice.


The town I'm going to doesn't have any expats, so its either locals or nothing.

I need to read up on football(soccer), for sure. I don't watch or play sports, besides weightlifting...but it'll be worth it to make new friends. I'll try see a match as well.

Any other places to meet friends, topics to discuss, etc.?

Post: #16

Very interesting insights and advise.

(03-20-2012 06:55 AM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  Ukrainians are good fellas but a bit stuck in the head I do not know how to express it properly.Poles are very nice Slavs and very smooth in conversation.I had offers from Ukrainian guys to join them for girl hunting in cars etc but there is considerable mentality difference.Belarussian guys are also nice Slavs but a bit boring.Russians are interesting Czechs eccentric and Serbs are the best the ones I can mostly relate to due to very common traditions and culture.With Serbs there is natural friendship we become friends from first minute.

If you want to have slavic males as friends just buy them some vodkas.Slavic men never say no to vodka.(except Czechs who prefer beer).

(03-20-2012 07:53 AM)RichieP Wrote:  Dont necessarily need to meet the locals. Expats or travellers who will be sticking around can be a great source of mates for a few days/weeks/months.

-Couchsurfing

-Meetup.com for specialist groups

-ppl in hostels - in your dorm or any night organised by the hostel

-organised pub crawls

-Random cool guys in bars/clubs. For some reason I get along really well with aussies, so whenever I hear an aussie accent from a guy abroad in a bar or club I will make an effort to befriend them. Usually end up being cool, laid back guys, up for having a crack at some girls

Pickup forums (very hit and miss, but worth trying)

Post: #17

I'm not able to make friends over football discussions, as I consider such discussions vapid, and if I was looking for vapid I'd look towards someone with tits. I understand that people get passionate about sports, but I can't bring myself to care. I've tried. Can't do it. I can't care, and I can't empathize with the caring that others feel. I can't bond over inanity.

In fact most men don't interest me, as I find most men to be uninteresting. However a few are interesting. They really stand out, and from the get go I respect and appreciate them and can have a great time just hanging out. Usually those men are good conversationalists with some passions and deep interests in life. Not just fluff and stuff. Fluff and stuff is for girls.

I've heard nothing but negative things about befriending local males in SE Asia. The story goes that in the end they only want stuff from you. I made a go of it with one guy, and we seemed to be good buddies, hanging out often. I was introduced to his circle of friends, and good times were had. One morning he made off with $300 bucks to go buy some meth. Later he met up with me and tried to get me to make a boat purchase from his friend, and acted all offended when I didn't go for it.

I hear it tends to get more difficult to make friends as you get older. In your teens and early twenties friendships form quite easily. Later you tend to associate less broadly. I've rarely gotten to the true deep buddy stage with guys, but that is a relationship that I'm fond of. You can't just meet guys at the bar and jump into that - not often anyway. I guess it's like with women - sometimes there is just chemistry, and that does happen. Bros at first sight. He he.

Post: #18

(03-20-2012 09:23 AM)46. Wrote:  Outside the US, most men like football (soccer), so this is the ideal vehicle to make male friends. I must have made 500 short term friends through football (soccer). Generally wherever I am I make it a point to understand the national team and main club team rivalries to some extent. So now I have a common point of conversation with like 80% of dudes in that country. Plus you can ask people about the games on TV in bars, etc. They CARE about it. Football (soccer), IMO is like the elderly opener to make friends with other dudes.

Then, because I play soccer (well), I can take any drunken conversation onto the beach to play a game. They all want to "beat the gringo" then find out it ain't that easy and often I'm walking away with their money, which I use to buy everyone more drinks. (Note: all Brazilians can kick your @ss unfortunately, but they'll respect you)

There's tons of different ways to leverage football (soccer) in making friends. I complemented this Brazilian dude on his special edition shirt last week in Florida and we talked for another 20 minutes with his family about the team. Now he's writing the team to improve marketing to North American gringos, we exchanged emails, and I'll look him up in SP next time I'm there. It's really easy.

(in the US, the NFL is the only thing that most men all watch, so a little knowledge can go a long way in making friends; even if you dislike it it gives you a point of common reference with dudes)

TL,DR : To sum up with a word - commonalities.Although,Im not sure how succesful spartan would be,considering he's not genuinely interested in football.And one hint-have to be careful telling one guy 'fuck Crvena Zvezda' and a 2nd - 'fuck Partizan!I hate them' and then you 3 being at the same place

Post: #19

(04-07-2012 06:51 AM)xsplat Wrote:  I'm not able to make friends over football discussions, as I consider such discussions vapid, and if I was looking for vapid I'd look towards someone with tits. I understand that people get passionate about sports, but I can't bring myself to care. I've tried. Can't do it. I can't care, and I can't empathize with the caring that others feel. I can't bond over inanity.

Every friendship I've formed with dudes pretty much has started off with a conversation about footie. It's the ultimate male friendship opener and to not use it limits you in certain places. You don't have to like football to talk about it,you are merely using the topic to start a conversation with a dude so that once you have bonded a little over that you can switch the topic to him introducing you to some of his female friends. Bonding is often about finding similarities between us,and what similarities do we have with a coal miner from Magnitogorsk who has never left his republic? Women and football. Open with the football and then get onto the women.

Post: #20

(04-07-2012 12:30 PM)Vorkuta Wrote:  

(04-07-2012 06:51 AM)xsplat Wrote:  I'm not able to make friends over football discussions, as I consider such discussions vapid, and if I was looking for vapid I'd look towards someone with tits. I understand that people get passionate about sports, but I can't bring myself to care. I've tried. Can't do it. I can't care, and I can't empathize with the caring that others feel. I can't bond over inanity.

Every friendship I've formed with dudes pretty much has started off with a conversation about footie. It's the ultimate male friendship opener and to not use it limits you in certain places. You don't have to like football to talk about it,you are merely using the topic to start a conversation with a dude so that once you have bonded a little over that you can switch the topic to him introducing you to some of his female friends. Bonding is often about finding similarities between us,and what similarities do we have with a coal miner from Magnitogorsk who has never left his republic? Women and football. Open with the football and then get onto the women.

As both you and Berliner insightfully point out, making friends is largely about bonding over commonalities.

I don't believe you can really fake those commonalities. I truly and deeply don't give a shit about football, could never convincingly pretend to, and would never muster the motivation to try. Not going to happen.

And if I did feign interest I would not in my heart feel bonded. Or interested. I'd feel fake, hollow, depersonalized and disconnected.

I might bond with a guy over not giving a shit about football though. Then we'd have some genuine simpatico to build on.

Here's a quote from an old boingboing.net article at http://boingboing.net/2006/06/03/hideous...-send.html "Oh brother. I don't even know what the FIFA World Cup is. I'm guessing it's soccer, which I hate just as much as any other pro sport. Every editor at Boing Boing detests professional sports, and we would sooner stream a video of a crumpled up paper napkin in the corner of a room than show some jackasses running after a ball. The only time we would ever post anything about pro-sports would be to make fun of them."

Post: #21

(03-20-2012 03:39 AM)Deb Auchery Wrote:  The best thing I can say about Ukrainian men is that they are mostly passive, unlike the Polish for example, everytime I go to Poland I see the neanderthals scrapping on the street.

This is contrary to what one could expect based on the amount of criminality and corruption in the country. One would expect thugs on the streets and at night clubs who will have an eagle eye for defenseless and consequenceless foreign targets. Also the most attractive girls are likely reserved by the mafia and they might take offense if an unarmed lone foreigner wonders into their turf.

I would be interested if any Eastern Europe goers have encountered this kind of stuff?

Also, why would local men allow a foreign sex tourist into their social circles? AFAIK in EE they are not the kind of Western betas who just stand and watch passively when outsiders come to pick up their women.

I'm rather surprised reading about the non-interference Western men seem to enjoy in EE where the militia is more likely to side with locals than foreigners.

Post: #22

(04-07-2012 06:51 AM)xsplat Wrote:  I'm not able to make friends over football discussions, as I consider such discussions vapid, and if I was looking for vapid I'd look towards someone with tits. I understand that people get passionate about sports, but I can't bring myself to care. I've tried. Can't do it. I can't care, and I can't empathize with the caring that others feel. I can't bond over inanity.

lol I'm a hard core sports guy but realize it can be silly if I'm not playing. If you think football is vapid (completely understandable) you can also look at the game through the prism of social class, history, attitudes, conflict, and geography. In any given country the game and prominent teams always symbolize some sort of geographic or class warfare. So you can use the game not to discuss sport, but rather the more important, substantive issues in a given country. For example River Plate v. Boca in BA??? Good lord.

(04-07-2012 12:30 PM)Vorkuta Wrote:  Every friendship I've formed with dudes pretty much has started off with a conversation about footie. It's the ultimate male friendship opener and to not use it limits you in certain places.

For real man. Its just so easy...and always nice to have some strangers on your side whenever you are. If you're American and like sports but aren't familiar with football (soccer), it helps to pay attention to it while traveling.

Post: #23

I lived in the Balkans and traveled to Serbia quite alot when I was there. I still do come back every now and again to keep with friendships with my male friends. Football is a the great field leveler if you are in EE. Every male will have a good knowledge of football and if you played it at a competitive level like I did, you get alot of respect. While in Belgrade I went along with a friend to a Partizan game and got hooked on it from there. Going to the Partizan stadium and and around Serbia on away days, I made alot of friends. Likewise going to the CSKA Sofia games. In the Balkans as Kamaki said, it is alot more easier to make male friends especially among Serbs, Macedonians and Bulgarians who are very receptive with the result that it is very easy to get into a social circle. It is what I like about the Balkans. Standing on the terrace on a freezing cold day in Smederevo among the Partizan fans and being the only Irish person within a 1000km radius did make me stick out and their curiosity played into my hands. Ukrainians were the exact opposite. I do have a very good Belarusian friend who incidentally enough is a bit on the dry side but a good guy.

With Russian guys, especially provincials, I gotta say it can be very varied. They can sometimes look menacing but when you get to know them, you're sorted. When I was in Russia I fell in with a couple of ex army guys. One of them knows my sister in law's family very well so straight away I got introduced to his mates. They liked me and I got invited to nights out and everything went from there. I got introduced to the local birds. One of them was an ex stripper. Overall I liked Russia but it did have a menacing feel to it, especially out on the streets at night that I never got in the Balkans. There is a Serbian kafana (Ekaterinburg) called Srpski Dvor and one night I made it my business to go there. Well all I can say is that I had a ball. The slivovica flowed, sing song and I ended up getting carried into a taxi at 5am.

Give me the Balkans for hospitality and laid back lifestyle but Russia for the gals.

Post: #24

Regarding team sports, I believe there must be some genetic component that influences a personality to liking them or not.

I was aware at a very young age that I could not understand why anyone would root for one team or another. It seemed so arbitrary to me. Why care which side won? The technical aspects of a game were mildly interesting, and it's fun to get out on the field and actually play it, but if your Dad isn't on the field, why would anyone associate with one side or the other? People would instruct me to pick a side and root for your team, and I pretended to, but that never made me care which side won. And without that there is no pleasure in the exercise, and it all seems pointless, banal, and boring. And even a bit alienating as I can't understand the emotions of those around me. It makes me no closer to people, that's for sure.

Obviously there would be a tribal genetic advantage if warriors did care and did root for their home teams to win. So there should be genetic selection for the trait of being very interested in team sports. However I know I'm not a rare freak who since inception is unable to care - I know that a sizable percentage of the population is classically similar. I'm pretty sure that among science fiction fans the number of football fans is low.

I'd also bet sports fans would be more likely to team up into social circles more easily. They'd be more group oriented. While the science fiction boys would be more iconoclastic and even more likely to be loners. Less influenced by peer pressure and less interested in the pleasures of belonging.

Post: #25

Good post - I have always, said this is one of the best ways to meet quality girls. That might not be important to some of you, but to others who might want to possibly have a relationship or if you're concerned about quality girls then the best way is to have a good guy friend abroad.

I don't know how many times I've seen the lonely Euro or US traveler who ends up just banging hookers or the hostel hang arounds who want you to buy them beer and dinner. If you have a guy who can show you the ropes, take you to the cool places and make initial introductions this goes a long way and really shortens your learning curve.

PS - for anyone who is into latinas, this is a big big must. Some places (Colombia really stands out in my mind) you will find the internet and local gringo haunts lined with shady gold diggers, who basically have a new gringo every week that they find online or at the one common Gringo hang out. If you really want to meet a "good" latina that could be stunning looking as well as fun and cool to chill with, the best best best way is an introduction from a close friend or relative of hers.