Post: #251

How hard is it to find a good slow cooker over there at a decent price?

Post: #252

I have now had the same conversation dozens of times with girls here. A question I usually ask them is "why do you choose to date a foreign guy over a filipino guy?"

There are generally lots of reasons but one that comes up with most girls is the fact that they claim almost all filipino guys hit their girlfriends/wives and most foreigners don't.

I wonder how much truth is in that statement. Do filipino guys hit girls that often? Are they just exaggerating?

Post: #253

(01-07-2014 10:44 PM)DirectDanger Wrote:  I have now had the same conversation dozens of times with girls here. A question I usually ask them is "why do you choose to date a foreign guy over a filipino guy?"

There are generally lots of reasons but one that comes up with most girls is the fact that they claim almost all filipino guys hit their girlfriends/wives and most foreigners don't.

I wonder how much truth is in that statement. Do filipino guys hit girls that often? Are they just exaggerating?

Hmmm, this is news to me... Perhaps they are trying to tug at you emotionally and play victim.

I've lived over there from the age of 5 and moved away at 20 during my third year in the University of the Phils. Filipino males are very entrenched in the Romance/Romantic image of masculinity... So much so, that serenades and what we call 'white knighting' is still popular. Men still ask Fathers permission to "call on" their daughters (called ligaw in the vernacular). And so, it is unsurprising that if a Filipino should ever hit his wife/girl, other Filipinos tend to berate him.

Back in my fraternity, one of my alumni brothers was discovered to have hit his girlfriend. He was properly ridiculed and effectively excommunicated by the rest of the frat. He was the only Filipino I knew personally that ever hit a girl.

The only disclaimer I have is that things could have possibly changed from the way I knew them then. But there were certainly no indications from my female friends still there... and I've visited a couple of times since migrating... so... *shrug*

Post: #254

@Scott Free
I appreciate the response. Always nice to get a view point from an actual filipino that has lived here.

Post: #255

(01-08-2014 03:38 AM)DirectDanger Wrote:  @Scott Free
I appreciate the response. Always nice to get a view point from an actual filipino that has lived here.

No worries man, anytime. The Philippines has its own idiosyncrasies.

Edit: grammar

Post: #256

(01-08-2014 03:44 AM)Scott Free Wrote:  

(01-08-2014 03:38 AM)DirectDanger Wrote:  @Scott Free
I appreciate the response. Always nice to get a view point from an actual filipino that has lived here.

No worries man, anytime. The Philippines has its own idiosyncrasies.

Edit: grammar

Isn't University of the Philippines the highest status University in the country? if so, I would expect students there to be much less prone to and tolerant of violence than the lower middle and working class.

Sort of how Ivy League students in the USA for the most part stay far away from street and bar fights; as well as the people who get in evolved in them.

Post: #257

Spot on Scott Free. Serial monogamy is considered the norm for dating over here. There are alot of insecure guys here who live with a scarcity mindset because they think that should invest alot on a girl so that they'll get into a relationship with each other and finally have sex. Dating a girl means having a huge investment on the part of the guy in terms of money and time before sex with her actually happens. Girls who have sex outside a BF-GF relationship are thought of as "bastos" (slutty) and automatically ostracized by guys. Also, guys here think that girls who look hot, have high value, practice good manners, educated, etc. should be reserved for commitment. They should be pedestalized and be treated with high regard since they are believed to be totally chaste & would never think of having pre-marital sex. Just having the intention of having sex with them is considered "not treating them with respect."

On another note, most men here think that "being alpha" is automatically resorting to physical violence. The norm here is that if a guy doesn't go physical when someone gets mad at him in a bar, he is thought of as a pussy. In fact, there are some cases in bars in QC wherein just looking at a girlfriend of some guy would get you stabbed. I'd rather go the true alpha path of being civil and not having to get myself into trouble at all.

Post: #258

(01-08-2014 03:51 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  Isn't University of the Philippines the highest status University in the country? if so, I would expect students there to be much less prone to and tolerant of violence than the lower middle and working class.

Sort of how Ivy League students in the USA for the most part stay far away from street and bar fights; as well as the people who get in evolved in them.

Sort of... Without trying to sound too arrogant, University of the Philippines (UP) is known for having the highest concentration of intellectual people regardless of social class. So, it is common to have plenty of poor, but intelligent students, professors, etc.

Ateneo de Manila is the school for the rich/status-y people.

To illustrate, let me share this entertaining, local joke:

An Atenean in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.
He reduced altitude as he spotted someone below.
"Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would
meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am now."

The man below replied. "You are in a hot air balloon
hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are
between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between
59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be a UP student," said the Atenean.

"I am. How did you know?"

"Well," the Atenean replied, "everything you told me
is technically correct, but I have no idea what to
make of your information, and the fact is I am still
lost. Frankly, you have not been much help so far."

The man below responded, "You must be an Atenean."

"I am. How did you know?"

"Well," said the UP student, "you don't know where you
are or where you're going. You have risen to where you
are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a
promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you
expect people below you to solve your problems. The
fact is, you are in exactly the same position you
were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Post: #259

(01-08-2014 04:12 AM)Scott Free Wrote:  

(01-08-2014 03:51 AM)iknowexactly Wrote:  Isn't University of the Philippines the highest status University in the country? if so, I would expect students there to be much less prone to and tolerant of violence than the lower middle and working class.

Sort of how Ivy League students in the USA for the most part stay far away from street and bar fights; as well as the people who get in evolved in them.

Sort of... Without trying to sound too arrogant, University of the Philippines (UP) is known for having the highest concentration of intellectual people regardless of social class. So, it is common to have plenty of poor, but intelligent students, professors, etc.

Ateneo de Manila is the school for the rich/status-y people.

To illustrate, let me share this entertaining, local joke:

An Atenean in a hot air balloon realized he was lost.
He reduced altitude as he spotted someone below.
"Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would
meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am now."

The man below replied. "You are in a hot air balloon
hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are
between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between
59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be a UP student," said the Atenean.

"I am. How did you know?"

"Well," the Atenean replied, "everything you told me
is technically correct, but I have no idea what to
make of your information, and the fact is I am still
lost. Frankly, you have not been much help so far."

The man below responded, "You must be an Atenean."

"I am. How did you know?"

"Well," said the UP student, "you don't know where you
are or where you're going. You have risen to where you
are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a
promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you
expect people below you to solve your problems. The
fact is, you are in exactly the same position you
were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

You are correct. That joke tells a lot.

Post: #260

Great to have an actual Filipino in here! Welcome ScottFree!
Love reading your insight into the mindset and the culture there.

Quick question, is Ateneo only in Manila or throughout the country?

I will pm you with some question regarding some feedback on something later.,

Cheers.

Post: #261

I've been in Manila for 10 days now and the level of easiness that I get here is just like experiencing an alternative world. It's like everything is the opposite of what is in a western country. Actually you understand how girls experience dating life in the west, I have flaked a couple of times on girls because I got better options!
Anyway.. since we have a local here I think it's the best place to ask my question. How is it for a local guy? I understand that girls are easier for foreigners but I don't know how much easier? do they play all the stupid games like chicks in the west do for the local guys ? How hard is it for a local guys to play around ?

Post: #262

(01-08-2014 01:01 PM)Vacancier Permanent Wrote:  Great to have an actual Filipino in here! Welcome ScottFree!
Love reading your insight into the mindset and the culture there.

Quick question, is Ateneo only in Manila or throughout the country?

I will pm you with some question regarding some feedback on something later.,

Cheers.

Thanks VP, much obliged!

Ateneo is nationwide over there... there's one campus in Davao and one in Naga.

And sure, ask anytime man.

Post: #263

(01-08-2014 10:30 PM)gamma_male Wrote:  I've been in Manila for 10 days now and the level of easiness that I get here is just like experiencing an alternative world. It's like everything is the opposite of what is in a western country. Actually you understand how girls experience dating life in the west, I have flaked a couple of times on girls because I got better options!
Anyway.. since we have a local here I think it's the best place to ask my question. How is it for a local guy? I understand that girls are easier for foreigners but I don't know how much easier? do they play all the stupid games like chicks in the west do for the local guys ? How hard is it for a local guys to play around ?

Short answer: The local guys can't compete with foreigners on a level playing field. Worse for them, most are stuck in "chivalry" mode.

Long answer: The unique thing about the Philippines is that it's not just some random islanders... (Warning! Quick History Lesson incoming!) Three distinct races settled there hundreds of years ago. Negritos, Indones and Malays, who started trading with venturing Chinese and Indian merchants. Afterwards, Magellan landed in Mactan on the island of Cebu and was the precursor for 300 years of Spanish colonization who brought along with them Christianity and Catholic values. Later, after the Spanish-American war, the US purchased the Philippines from Spain at the Treaty of Paris and the archipelago became a US Protectorate for about 40 years. And then, WWII broke out and Japan occupied the Philippines for 5 years.

The Philippines is an amalgamation of all of these cultural influences.

We have bastardized some Spanish into our language: They say "Como esta?" We say "Kumusta?" (How are you?)

We mostly speak English thanks to the Americans, who by the way, established the University of the Philippines. "Airplane" in Tagalog is "Eroplano." Try and ask a Filipino "Okay?" and he'll most likely smile and reply "Okey!" with a thumbs up.

Similarly, there are Chinese and Indian and Japanese influences to the local language.

Okay, sorry for the verbosity. I just wanted to give some insight regarding the heavy impact all of these had to the small group of islands. To answer your question, Filipinos still retain heavy Spanish "Romantic" influence. It's harder for them since they still serenade and romance Filipinas in that way. Also, "Colonial Mentality" as we call it, is prevalent among the people over there. We equate a person's light(er) skin with more wealth, after all, the Spaniards who settled in the Philippines were quite rich. So... in comes a white tourist... and the girls go crazy! Generally speaking, of course. All they see, is a way to live comfortably and make some gorgeous kids. To their credit, have you seen the children of Filipinas and white foreigners? Almost guaranteed, they have the good looks to be future models.

This mentality is sometimes so ridiculous. Get this, my being half Persian worked to my advantage many times. While not as light skinned as a white man, I had lighter skin that other Filipinos and like clockwork, Colonial Mentality kicks in and majority of women are attracted to that.

As for games, the women over there don't play the same games that American girls play. Don't get me wrong, they have their own wiles... and they use more subtlety than what you see in the US. Whereas American women rely heavily on spoken words, Filipinas (amongst the other more feminine women of the world like Latinas and EEs) tend to use non-verbals much more.

Post: #264

(01-09-2014 01:16 AM)Scott Free Wrote:  As for games, the women over there don't play the same games that American girls play. Don't get me wrong, they have their own wiles... and they use more subtlety than what you see in the US. Whereas American women rely heavily on spoken words, Filipinas (amongst the other more feminine women of the world like Latinas and EEs) tend to use non-verbals much more.

Tangent:

Hmmm... There should be an easier way to refer to South American girls, Eastern European girls and South East Asian girls (who we generally view as more feminine) as a whole while still keeping them separate from the rest of their wayward gender. Has anyone here done this yet? How about: Other More Feminine Women Of The World... OMFWOTW™ You read it here first!

Post: #265

(01-09-2014 01:19 AM)Scott Free Wrote:  

(01-09-2014 01:16 AM)Scott Free Wrote:  As for games, the women over there don't play the same games that American girls play. Don't get me wrong, they have their own wiles... and they use more subtlety than what you see in the US. Whereas American women rely heavily on spoken words, Filipinas (amongst the other more feminine women of the world like Latinas and EEs) tend to use non-verbals much more.

Tangent:

Hmmm... There should be an easier way to refer to South American girls, Eastern European girls and South East Asian girls (who we generally view as more feminine) as a whole while still keeping them separate from the rest of their wayward gender. Has anyone here done this yet? How about: Other More Feminine Women Of The World... OMFWOTW™ You read it here first!

I like OMFWOW™ better.

Post: #266

(01-09-2014 01:26 AM)JayJuanGee Wrote:  I like OMFWOW™ better.

Hahaha, OMFWOW™ it is then!

Post: #267

Just say no to acronyms.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling

Post: #268

(01-09-2014 01:35 AM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  Just say no to acronyms.

Beyond Acronyms. that would be a great user name.

Post: #269

just touched down this morning in Makati, would love to meet up with some RVFers this weekend!

Post: #270

@KeepMovingForward
Post in the meet up thread so we can keep track who is in Manila. We might be able to have another meet up soon.

/thread-29651.html

Post: #271

Scott, great info.

How do the well off Filipina girls view foreigners? Here in Bangkok poor girls typically live us because we represent a upgrade in lifestyle. Middle class girls can go either way. Many love us because we are different and exotic to them. Many are indifferent and may be open if they like you. And many probably aren't interested in foreigners.

However, most upper class girls are much more difficult as there is a negative connotation with a well off Thai women being with a white guy. Some still love foreigners, but many shy away from us because of the impact it could have on their reputations.

How are we viewed by upper class girls in the Phils? By us I mean white guys in our 20s and 30s who dress decently and are obviously not sex tourists going to Angels City.

Post: #272

Rich girls in the Phils like rich Chinese, Korean or Filipinos basically. It's def looked down on to date a foreigner if you are top tier there.

Post: #273

(01-09-2014 11:35 AM)M-Chill Wrote:  Rich girls in the Phils like rich Chinese, Korean or Filipinos basically. It's def looked down on to date a foreigner if you are top tier there.

I call Bullshit.

Post: #274

No need to call BS, you are there right? You bang a lot of girls with dollar millionaire daddies? Im just telling it like it is. Ive got 2 years in Rockwell there with Tim Yap as my next door neighbor.

Post: #275

(01-09-2014 12:55 PM)M-Chill Wrote:  No need to call BS, you are there right? You bang a lot of girls with dollar millionaire daddies? Im just telling it like it is. Ive got 2 years in Rockwell there with Tim Yap as my next door neighbor.

M-Chill:

Probably you would be able to describe any conclusion(s) that you want, so long as you provide some bases for how you arrived at your conclusion(s). If you merely state a conclusion, and then throw in a few generalizations (like you seemed to have done in your earlier post), then you are going to draw negative reactions, and thereafter you forced into trying to dig yourself out from a hole in which you had placed yourself.

So, NOW, you appear to be in a hole and scratching your way out, which requires much more work than if you had NOT placed yourself there in the first place. That's my thinking.