Post: #1

I've seen a few joke threads on here but it's just guys telling the usually guy jokes. I wanted to start a thread that uses jokes in the context of gaming girls. 

One way I usually tell jokes is to include one girl out of the group as a character in my story joke. It makes it more personal and it gets the whole group laughing even before you drop the punch line. 

I was hanging with some friends one night and I started teasing a Polish girl I know. Let's call her Jen. So I made her a character in my joke.

Let me give you an example...

So Jen walks into a store one day and asks the man behind the counter for 5 pounds of Polish sausage.

The man says, "Why ...are you Polish?"

She replies, "If I asked for Italian sausage would you ask if I was Italian?"

He says "Well ...no."

Jen says, "Well then why did you ask if I was Polish?"

He replies, "Because this is a fucking hardware store!!"

Trust me fellas you'll get people crying from laughter if you do this. Any others you guys have to share? Simple jokes about professions usually work best. Most girls work in doctor's offices or are secretaries. So those are easy to pick on.

Post: #2

I love that one! Just have to figure out how to adapt it to nationalities around this corner of the Balkans...

Post: #3

Here's one I like that picks on blonde girls.

A blonde and brunette are in an elevator and a man gets on. He scratches his head and has a lot of dandruff, so the brunette looks at the blonde and says, "He could really use head and shoulders."

The blonde replies with, "How do you give shoulders?"

Post: #4

(02-14-2012 09:58 AM)at350zguyy Wrote:  Here's one I like that picks on blonde girls.

A blonde and brunette are in an elevator and a man gets on. He scratches his head and has a lot of dandruff, so the brunette looks at the blonde and says, "He could really use head and shoulders."

The blonde replies with, "How do you give shoulders?"

Your joke by itself is funny. But you have to tell it the right way. If you’re talking to a group of girls you should
turn to the blonde and say, “You know …I think I met you in an elevator before”. Then tell the joke as if it was
a real story about her. Everyone will follow along believing it’s a true story until you drop the punchline. Then
you’ll get a bunch of smirks followed by laughter when they realize you’re fucking with them.

Post: #5

i like that approach. will definitely keep that in mind when the number comes calling.

Post: #6

The joke makes an effect or not depending on girl's background.For example sth an American may find funny a Russian will find totally superficial and stupid or even annoying.So you have to adjust your joking in the national environment.

For example polish girls like irony,German women like sadistic jokes,Czech women like black humor,Scandinavian and Dutch like heavy Balkan humor(exaggeration) and Mediteranean women like situational humor.

So you use the type of humor which is fit for each girl's nationality.I may give you some examples of what is considered a joke in Poland,in Czech Republic etc.

Post: #7

I have a hard time getting Russians to laugh at my jokes, Americans easy. I'm Ukrainian/Russian myself.

Usually I just say back what the person said to me some time ago but with a sarcastic voice, guaranteed laughs.

You can also add something at the end of what a person said already to make it funny.

If there are some chicks in the group then I joke with the guys, otherwise I don't joke if it's just me and the guys.

Example: Guy 1, Guy2, and Chick

Guy1: Oh god, I ate so much, I feel pregnant.

Guy2: You look pregnant too.

Chick: HAHAHAHAHAHA

Post: #8

I think sense of humor is one of the most important things in life. And, making girls laugh is one of our most effective tactics in for getting them into bed.

I used to be too serious and logical around girls. I've worked to improve my humor.

Comedians have helped me...

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Post: #9

The problem is that if you get girls to laugh often girls may view you a comedian or clown and without sexual interest.There is a fine line there some guys get laid by being totally serious.

Post: #10

I'm not that much of a joke guy, I'm more of a retort man.

'You have a boyfriend...? So my chance of swooping you now drops to what, about 40%?'

Post: #11

(02-14-2012 03:08 PM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  The problem is that if you get girls to laugh often girls may view you a comedian or clown and without sexual interest.

Good point. Keep a sexual vibe with those jokes!

Post: #12

(02-14-2012 03:08 PM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  The problem is that if you get girls to laugh often girls may view you a comedian or clown and without sexual interest.There is a fine line there some guys get laid by being totally serious.

I'm not sure how much this happens, but it's probably a real risk. I'm a naturally playful guy who recently got back in shape, and I wonder if being the comedian may actually do me more harm than good now. I mean I think I'm now good looking enough that being the clown may just be an unnecessary risk. I guess I just have to go by trial and error.

Post: #13

(02-14-2012 10:10 PM)Indefatigable Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 03:08 PM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  The problem is that if you get girls to laugh often girls may view you a comedian or clown and without sexual interest.There is a fine line there some guys get laid by being totally serious.

I'm not sure how much this happens, but it's probably a real risk. I'm a naturally playful guy who recently got back in shape, and I wonder if being the comedian may actually do me more harm than good now. I mean I think I'm now good looking enough that being the clown may just be an unnecessary risk. I guess I just have to go by trial and error.

there's no harm in being funny as long as you're constantly escalating
thats what separates the entertainer from the seducer

but of course dont try to crack jokes every 5 seconds, thats fake

good thread though, humor is important. but as roissy has pointed out, the teasing type humor is the best (like parlay's example). where the target girl is involved in the joke

Post: #14

Personally my problem is that when I use Balkan Greek humor towards western women(mainly Scandinavian and Dutch) they like it so much that I have to continue being humorous from that point on and crack the one joke after the other.They just cannot have enough of it and this prevents escalation seriously they respond to jokes but not to escalation meaning escalation could become a block for jokes and since they like jokes so much they try to prevent escalation.

It is a difficult case I think it is mainly because they are not used to Greek humor and get quickly swept off their feet get addicted and then they want more and more.So with Dutch and Scandinavian girls one will easily find himself in the place of entertainer or comedian warm up the girls so another serious player comes as a trailer and bangs them.

With polish though humor makes things much easier.Polish have different style of humor than Scandinavian they like irony.Polish women will be humorous after meeting you.Sometimes you cannot stop laughing.Then I have to adjust my humor to the polish level.Again when I make the adjustment the Balkan humor is so heavy that I have had polish women completely shaking under the bed sheets for minutes laughing.For example you do a dual massage to two naked polish women and they start shaking from laughter when you run the Greek humor polish adjusted.This is also not good and can prevent escalation in some cases because girls mind is driven to different directions where pleasure stimulus come from laughing and and not from touching sex etc.

Russian are serious though.They view our humor as childish and superficial.they also dislike slapstick comedy American style.Russian humor is based on mental craziness.Usually to reach this height you need some quantities of vodka.Generally it is better to avoid any kind of humor when gaming Russian chicks because this will remind them of their drunk compatriots.

Czech like black humor.It is part of the culture.It is the situation when things are bad and you think it can be not worse and then you find out it becomes even worse.It is the type of humor Czechs like.(today is your lucky day he said to him and started unzipping his trousers this is the end of a joke that applies to Czech culture).

So generally with Czech I modify the Greek humor to more black direction but a Czech woman will hear these jokes with interest she will not become pissed from laughter.

English have totally different type of humor which is called English humor and is usually popular among Anglosaxons.Many other nationalities do not get English humor.Polish for example do not get it.If talking to English girls I let them do the joking because Greek humor has strong frames and is very incompatible to English subtle hints and indirectness no matter how I modify it it can never sound good in English ears so English think we have no.humor.

Post: #15

I think you have to throw the situational joke. If you just memorize something and spit it out like 'hey let me tell you guys some joke', it won't be impressive since anyone can do that.

we started talking about jersey shore since the girl was from new jersey.

I said 'oh btw, I want to be the situation'. The girl was like 'no no no' (it's not cool, don't be that guy)
'no listen, because every time I drive, there is a situation lol' (I am asian) 'hahahahaha'

Post: #16

Example of polish humor.The girl tells you:Darling I just lost one tooth.When I lose all my teeth I will make for you better blowjobs.

Or talking about a prostitute in Warsaw who approaches men in random and asks them while opening her skirt:Would you like to see Warsaw by night?

Post: #17

Example of Greek humor.You talk with another guy and the dialogue is sth like this:

-Hi masturbator how are you?

-I am fine masturbator and you?

-I am also fine.

-What happened?Did you pass the exam?

-Of course man.I killed it.

-Congratulations man.How did this happen?

-It was simple masturbator.I just went to the proffessor and told him:Either you pass me or I will fuck you.

-And?

-He said please do not fuck me.Take any grade you want.

-You are cool man.

-Yo it was tough exam but I did it.

-Really masturbator you did not fuck the proffessor?

-No,he was scared.I passed.

-Oh,my gay.Are you in to hit a souvlaki?

-Yo man let's go.

The whole dialogue means that you have failed a very difficult exam getting a low grade.To outsiders it is completely incomprehensive but makes sense in Greek.

Post: #18

Other examples of Greek Balkan humor:

Do you know this guy?He has really big balls.His balls are so big that every time he moves they hang down and rub the floor.

Did you see that girl out there?She has such big boobs.Her boobs are so big they reach from the cafe to the next block of flats.

Damn,these German women.All appear like they have forgotten their boobs at home.

Do you remember Costas?Now he lets baldness(like he lets long hair) .

When I met her I really appreciated her rich exterior world(when talking to women because they usually say you should notice her rich interior world )

This style is described here as chavale spanish women also like it.

Post: #19

For example a dialogue with a polish girl goes like this:
-Are you from Poland?
-Yes.
-I like Poland very much.
-Where are you from?(if she is interested she comes close and starts breathing into your face)
-I am from Greece.
-Really? Are you from Greece?Ohhhhh
-Yes, have you been

Post: #20

Have you been? Ty a Katowice?
-No,I am from Wroclaw.
-I have been in Wroclaw, Krakow.I like Polska a lot.
-Oh,you been in Wroclaw?
-Yes,I like Panorama Razhovista.Odra.
-I am glad you like Poland.Sure you are not Italian?
-No,I am Greek.
-We polish girls do not like Italians.Italian men mafioso have done bad things to polish girls.
-Do you like polish boys?
-Oh,no.We do not like polish boys.
-They seem nice.
-Polish boys very ugly.
-They seem funny.Do you like disco polo?
-You,you like disco polo?
-It is my favorites music.
-I hate disco polo.
You do not like jestes szalona?
-Oh,you know polish songs.
-Yes,(starting singing).Do you like Soda?
-You know Soda!(she starts laughing and tells her girlfriends.This guy knows Doda)

Post: #21

The course is:
-Do you like Doda?
-Oh,you know Doda!Girls he knows Doda.
-Yes,she has very nice voice.
-I do not like her.She is a whore.
-But she sings good.
-I know all men like Doda because she has big breast.
-True polish women have the most vitamins.(polskie dziewczyny mate dużo witaminie)

Post: #22

Can't go wrong with Liquor and laughter.

Recent Tweet from Heartiste

heartiste (@heartiste)
2/15/12 11:52 AM
If you don't mind dropping a few bucks on a date, you can't go wrong with a comedy club. Laughter opens the vaginal pathways.

Post: #23

I dont like obvious set up jokes, I prefer to a George Carlin style of hyperbole humor. Only problem I have is on occasion the girl is to dense to get the obvious joke and looks at me like I'm crazy.

Chef In Jeans
A culinary website for men

Post: #24

(02-14-2012 03:08 PM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  The problem is that if you get girls to laugh often girls may view you a comedian or clown and without sexual interest.There is a fine line there some guys get laid by being totally serious.

I agree- if I sense a girl or group might respond well to a joke, I limit it to one only.
Telling one joke after another makes you look like an entertainment monkey who is trying too hard

Wittiness based on the situation and conversation can be applied more often however.

Post: #25

(02-14-2012 04:38 PM)Giovonny Wrote:  

(02-14-2012 03:08 PM)Greek kamaki Wrote:  The problem is that if you get girls to laugh often girls may view you a comedian or clown and without sexual interest.

Good point. Keep a sexual vibe with those jokes!

This happens when you make self deprecating jokes. Never do that. Always use humor to establish comfort/repore/demonstrate higher value

I also use jokes to send a restart txt

"Is it tall, muscular, and handsome outside today or is it just me? ; )

This always gets a response back.