Post: #301

(12-13-2015 11:43 AM)TripleG Wrote:  

(12-11-2015 10:13 AM)WashedUPVet Wrote:  Been in Moscow for about 3.5 months and I have identified a good girl. She is an 19 YO 8 who I met from social circle (I'm mid 30s). We have been dating now for two months (yes I know it isn't long) and I will attempt to highlight the positives and negatives of my thoughts on her as I only have 6 more months left in Russia and do not want to waste my time here and make sure I'm on the right path. I go back to California for a couple weeks soon, and I'm also interested in my feeling on reverse culture shock. Will I come back to Russia with renewed vigor? I'm feeling complacent after some time here.

Positives: She is young. For me the age gap is uncharted territory. The way she feels is wonderful and something I haven't had in 10 years. She isn't on the internet much, maybe 20 VK and FB friends in total. She maybe has one drink and is drunk, a very healthy girl who goes to the gym 5 times a week. I recently got her a one month pass to my gym, we worked out together and I observed her dedication to staying fit. Her plans for New Years are to stay home with family instead of parties with friends. She spends most of her time talking about family and rarely mentions friends. I am the first boy she has told her parents about, but I'm not sure if her first. I never asked as I don't want to know about past relationships. I make this clear in the beginning to all women I date regularly. She is smart and speaks perfect English. Her father is a prominent Russian government official (he is supportive of the relationship although I have never met him). One day in the morning I told her I wanted sex really bad that day. She told me she couldn't make it. Later that evening she called me and told me how bad she felt that she didn't come. I do think she aims to please. If I tell her to meet me, she usually comes to my location. Lastly, she isn't from Moscow, but moved here in the last 5 years from a smaller city.

Negatives: She is young. How will my family approach this age gap? I have floated it out there, but no one has really recognized her. I also ask her to do things and she seems to be a bit incapable or shy (i.e. get me a dr. to see because i'm sick. it didn't happen.) She never invites me to do anything. She always waits for me to invite or plan an outing or date. When I do, she is almost always available though. Maybe she is extremely submissive? My birthday came and went for the most part and what little we did, I planned. No gift, which I find strange for a Russian girl. Even her best friend gave me something. Outside of her best friend, I have met zero of her friends. I'm mostly worried that when I leave in July of next year there will be no way to continue the relationship as she will have to give up on university to be with me. I think this is too much for her young mind to wrap around but I did introduce the idea to her. I told her to think about what that means and that I would revisit the topic in a few weeks.

Final Thoughts: Even in a much better culture for men than the USA, it is still difficult here to find quality women who meet many of the perimeters I lay out in the positives above. I'm also thinking that someone 21-24 would be more ideal. Someone who either just started working or in the final year of the school program. The funniest thing she has said yet was, "When I first met you, I was scared of you." She must be a good girl.

Thoughts?

I am surprised by that statement...from my personal experience the women in EE are in every level superior to those of the west, especially of USA. I am still shocked how when I travel abroad I have more intellectual conversations with Russian 21 year olds than 30 year old college-educated American women. I think your only issue is overcoming the age-gap, if your girl was 5 years older I'm sure marriage questions would be creeping into your mind.

3G,
Maybe my statement was a little too strong, and you are correct on all accounts. I did say that it is much better here for men, no doubt. I'm just trying to say that a girl with all the perimeters combined is still a challenge to find (minimal internet presence and previous partners, strong family ties, beauty, healthy lifestyle, strong intellect and youth). Many have several of the above, but not all. If one of those is missing, she is immediately disqualified for LTR.

Post: #302

A simple way to see if you're serious about this girl
is to set a date in your mind for a hypothetical wedding
approximately 2 years from now...are the way things going now
can you see being able to arrive at that future engagement? If so then
the age gap is not a big deal.

Long term thinking/planning seems appropriate for this situation.
You set a date and then you estimate whether you can iron out all the "wrinkles"
in time.

Post: #303

I met a Filipina foreign worker in my country, made me wonder a lot about marriage because she was so different from the regular western cunts. She is feminine, cute and family is her first priority, but she's my age and I prefer younger, which made me to decide that I should probably get married somewhere in the SEA and stay there, raise children there and never bring her to my country.

If she was younger, I would move to the SEA tomorrow and make a family with her, but I'm realistic and know that I can get even better pussies if I go to the Philippines or Thailand.

So which country is the better option for staying there for a long term? I mean raise children, get a permanent residency, buy a farm.
Of course there is always the possibility that I will bring her back to my country in the future(hope not).
Which one will adapt better, but won't become westernized?

Post: #304

delete

Post: #305

My next destination will be Monterrey, MX. Most likely in Feburary. I have finally reintegrated back into U.S. life after my Colombia trip. It is strange, daily thoughts of finding a great chick to form a life with have entered my mind.

I am back to Spanish Skype tutor lessons. My Spanish has definitely improved. I think after my Spanish gets to an advanced level which will take time I will split my free time to get good at salsa dancing.

I am trying to make some Italki chick language partners from MTY, one hot one seems interested.

Before this trip I will try to get both an Italki partner and hopefully a Couchsurfing girl or guy to show me around.

I want to try to not use Tinder, I have 80+ matches of young 7+'s I haven't start talking to yet. It seems to be surprisingly better than my Medellin match rate but less than Bogota (7M people). The quality of the good looking girls is maybe a half step below Colombia only because you don't get that exotic Pochahantas sex goddess look. Still great though. They look much classier on average. More Colombian chicks have dyed hair and tatts it seems. And they show more skin.

They have my boner at DEFCOCK 1 levels. It will be hard I may try to squeeze a hot one in to bang.

Question: Other than daygame and going to Church, what is the best way to meet a good girl on a 5 day recon trip?

What is the best Catholic dating site for Mexico?

Post: #306

Why did you decide on Monterrey?

Post: #307

It isn't as nearly dangerous as its northern and western neighboring cities along the border.

Girls in the North of Mexico are taller, thinner, with better looking attitudes is what I have experienced reading here, looking online, and my few encounters with Mexican girls from different areas.

Monterrey is also apparently the most Americanized Mexican city as far as culture. Meaning it is a good beginner's city to get into the flow of Mexico.

My Tinder Passport has dozens and dozens of young 7+'s matched. One that is 7.5 21yo just opened me up on Tinder and we have plans to FaceTime already. All good for Spanish practice.

Post: #308

I am taking a break from the forum to get some more work done. I did this before earlier in the year to work on a business which really helped me. Posting this really keeps me accountable.

I'll post tips and a data sheet on Monterrey hopefully in February.

Merry Christmas.

Post: #309

(12-22-2015 01:40 AM)Travesty Wrote:  It isn't as nearly dangerous as its northern and western neighboring cities along the border.

Girls in the North of Mexico are taller, thinner, with better looking attitudes is what I have experienced reading here, looking online, and my few encounters with Mexican girls from different areas.

Monterrey is also apparently the most Americanized Mexican city as far as culture. Meaning it is a good beginner's city to get into the flow of Mexico.

My Tinder Passport has dozens and dozens of young 7+'s matched. One that is 7.5 21yo just opened me up on Tinder and we have plans to FaceTime already. All good for Spanish practice.

I travel often and usually just open Tinder when I get to the location.. Is the paid version of Tinder (when you can swipe from abroad) worth it in your opinion?

Post: #310

You can use the Fake GPS app on Android for free to change your location. Not sure about Apple.

Post: #311

(12-22-2015 06:15 PM)262 Wrote:  You can use the Fake GPS app on Android for free to change your location. Not sure about Apple.

I just got the IPhone 6 for this upcoming trip (way better camera and 4K video). I will definitely look into that. Thank you.

Post: #312

@ Travesty , Just and FYI Monterrey isn't what it was 10 years ago Violence and safety are much more of a concern as drug cartels are more active in that area.

Post: #313

Another thing people have mentioned is to get a conservative girl in country B and take her to country C. Under this method then would it be smart to get to a country with husband friendly laws? I am thinking of a country with:

A) No alimony (or alimony with a hard and fair cap)
B) Child Support with a fixed amount (not based on a percentage of income in which if you then earn more, you pay more)
C) Religion and society puts pressure on not to cheat

Does anyone knows of such a country?

Post: #314

(12-28-2015 07:44 PM)Phil619sd Wrote:  Another thing people have mentioned is to get a conservative girl in country B and take her to country C. Under this method then would it be smart to get to a country with husband friendly laws? I am thinking of a country with:

A) No alimony (or alimony with a hard and fair cap)
B) Child Support with a fixed amount (not based on a percentage of income in which if you then earn more, you pay more)
C) Religion and society puts pressure on not to cheat

Does anyone knows of such a country?

If I remember correctly, Dubai (UAE) has the most male-friendly divorce laws on the planet.

Post: #315

(12-28-2015 08:06 PM)Onto Wrote:  

(12-28-2015 07:44 PM)Phil619sd Wrote:  Another thing people have mentioned is to get a conservative girl in country B and take her to country C. Under this method then would it be smart to get to a country with husband friendly laws? I am thinking of a country with:

A) No alimony (or alimony with a hard and fair cap)
B) Child Support with a fixed amount (not based on a percentage of income in which if you then earn more, you pay more)
C) Religion and society puts pressure on not to cheat

Does anyone knows of such a country?

If I remember correctly, Dubai (UAE) has the most male-friendly divorce laws on the planet.

Here's another, more informative link about UAE divorce law. If the couple are from different countries, it clearly states the Husband's home country's law will be chosen of the Wife's but it doesn't say if the Husband can then choose to use UAE law, which for most is what you would want to do.

UAE divorce article

Post: #316

I can't see living in UAE as being worth it just for the divorce laws. I have never been. So maybe it is an undiscovered paradise. But I just wouldn't want to be out that way. I bet if you do not seem native you will have another set of headaches.

Post: #317

I wouldn't live in UAE either.

Same guys bring girls from the Philippines to Thailand.

Thais are very racist, particularly towards other south east Asians, so no problem with guys putting the Philippina girls on a pedestal there.

Post: #318

I've been to Dubai, but only for a day. On the surface, it seems quite liveable and modern, even outside the tourist areas.

Also not sure how racist Thais are to other SEA. I'm SEA-American, and not Thai, and I even had a Thai gf in the US (not Thai-American). They might consider me American though.

That being said, the racism may be more of the Asian "we're the best thing since steamed rice" attitude Asians have towards other Asians.

Post: #319

WashedUPVet - read your story and wish to point something out. The girl you mentioned is 19 - young enough to not have a clue how to date, and with you as an older man, expects you to show strong leadership about what you want and like to do and she'll happily do it. The thought that you might want her to show some initiative and suggest things to do is probably alien to her thought processes. And think of this - not knowing how to date may be a good thing.

I'm curious if you're willing to do an update - are you serious about trying to marry her?

Also - past relationships -knowing how many & how they ended can be useful to know and look for any red flags.

Post: #320

(12-29-2015 07:04 PM)Tytalus Wrote:  WashedUPVet - read your story and wish to point something out. The girl you mentioned is 19 - young enough to not have a clue how to date, and with you as an older man, expects you to show strong leadership about what you want and like to do and she'll happily do it. The thought that you might want her to show some initiative and suggest things to do is probably alien to her thought processes. And think of this - not knowing how to date may be a good thing.

I'm curious if you're willing to do an update - are you serious about trying to marry her?

Also - past relationships -knowing how many & how they ended can be useful to know and look for any red flags.

All good points. Yes, I do want to be married to the right person. I have been divorced for 5 years and enjoyed the freedom.

We actually almost broke up mid December. We did really, I told her she was too young and I was coming to this determination as she was not ready for more commitment based on my needs vs. hers. She agreed. I was really lost and went on a 3 day bender.

I didn't talk to her very much (only a few texts over a 10 day period). Since I was leaving for California on Dec 23, I asked her to have a drink with me to say goodbye as friends (I return Jan 15). At that meeting, she brought me the gift she didn't give me for my birthday (I made a point of that to her based on feedback from this thread) and she started crying. She has some strong feelings but is a very private person and was sharing these things for the first time. We agreed to keep dating. The advantage in dating someone private, is that it takes quite a while to get them to open up and once they do, they hold the line well. You know they arent going to give it to someone easy. She talked about having me meet some of her family in February, which is big for her as she is very family orientated. I think my biggest obstacle will be time, as I return to California in mid June for good. If I had a couple years instead of 10 months, I'm sure I could get her emotionally bonded to the point she would have no choice but to stay with me as long and wherever I wanted.

I have been in California for a week and have no desire to go on any dates and haven't. I wouldn't get close to this type of girl here. Volga girl is at dacha with family near the river and out of Moscow. We text a lot and talk on the phone every few days. I get a lot of photos of food being cooked and decorations around the home.

Post: #321

Just a thought on a conversation tonight with an 18 year old girl I invited tonight at Buddha Bar in Moscow, as my (Girlfriend who had a birthday this week Provincial Russian girl who is now 20) is in SE Asia enjoying the beach.

Caveat: I don't think it was Beta of me as we have been friends for 4 months and we were only to go to "tea." In fact, she is so provincial, she told me she had never been to such a nice place. I despise rich girls from Moscow, so this was a pleasure for me to feel like "the man" taking her to somewhere new.

I'm a fan of girls from smaller towns who find themselves in Moscow after their formative (7-15) years. Here are some thoughts on why provincial girls who are sophisticated or smart enough to make it to the big city are to be desired....

I thought of writing because this post the moment the girl described to me the sudden distrust that she has with the larger city, from her small safe town. She told me that her general inclination was to trust people because her childhood grew up so free and always knew everyone. She was always surrounded by family and always was able to trust. Her safe place was always with her. Upon arriving to Moscow at 17, she was shocked how the children in Moscow had to be so careful during their younger years. Innate to her is still the desire to trust. This girl actually cried in a small corner of the restaurant just thinking about how hard it was to walk the "unfriendly and unfamiliar" streets of Moscow. I think women from larger cities tend to grow up in an environment of distrust. I really believe that these formative years lay the groundwork for how one views their reality. If you want loyalty, kindness, and a girl who will take you as you are from the start.... go provincial. These girls are also good for game if you can invest 3-4 weeks. Offer them a new experience and be kind. My thoughts on Russia have evolved. I was even extremely critical of my first GF from Yekanterburg as an extractor. I probably should have not have been so skeptical or hard on her given my observations post "break up." That being said, I have yet to meet a leech or extractor of my resources from outside of Tier 1 Moscow (data set is 6 months). I think odds of false motives decrease with size of tier. This may be counterintuitive.

DISCUSS.

Take away: I'm on team "Provincial but talented Enough for Tier 1 City" for LTR.

Post: #322

Anyone have tips for the short game on long weekends? How to maximize time best? As said for it to really work well you need to really like where she is from because the A game is to actually live there! B game, the visits back and getting along with her family.

I have some long weekends to Mexico lined up. My friend has family in the city that may show us around a bit. I may get to go around with some CouchSurfers.

Not sure if I should give in to the ease of online girls to see what Mexican girls are like and have more date chances, or really go full on only day game. Hola chica, ¿dónde está la tienda de mascotas más cercana?

I am going to go out and party with my friend at night either way.

Question is really how much to spend feeling and exploring the city itself vs. the women.... at this point time efficiency is crucial to find "the spot" to return to repeatedly.

Post: #323

13 pages into this thread...and I'm just wondering if anyone can cite a single example of a man that went abroad with the sole purpose of finding a wife and was successful.

It's something I am considering, but I wonder if it's a pipe dream given the inherent obstacles.

Post: #324

(02-12-2016 10:30 AM)Kaizen Wrote:  13 pages into this thread...and I'm just wondering if anyone can cite a single example of a man that went abroad with the sole purpose of finding a wife and was successful.

It's something I am considering, but I wonder if it's a pipe dream given the inherent obstacles.

And am I the only one who noticed that everyone here stopped talking about LTRs and wife hunting since the turn of the year?

Post: #325

The facts are If you look at the actual marriage statistics with an American male and a foreign wife the divorce rates are very low compared to two locals getting married. Everyone you see online or in person that talks about getting married to a foreigner has really only seen it from afar or heard stories from a friend of a friend. These you have to take with a grain of salt. TV and movies have basically made getting married to a foreigner almost taboo. If you're a man who marries a foreigner you're portrayed as wanting a maid/sex slave. And the foreign women are all demonized as being gold diggers. ( all women want to be taken care of financially even the American ones)

I know a few people that got married to foreigners and they are all still together. I think in order for it to be successful you have to be realistic about a few things if you want it to actually be stable. America we all know

1. No crazy age difference (10-15 years max)
A 60 year old marrying a 20 year old is bound for failure. And don't punch way above your weight/looks. If you are 300 pounds and want a 101 pound bombshell you have to be realistic and work on yourself way more before you go after a woman. You have to be willing to change yourself for the BETTER to get a good foreign girl. People often confuse that and think because a Filipina girl is blinking funny at them in makati that means they are desirable and that American girls are the bad ones. You have to become desirable in your home country FIRST before looking overseas. American women are just a bad deal to get married to because of the current laws/culture but they are still women and if you can't even attract them then you are already starting behind in a foreign country.

2. Be completely upfront with the woman about your intentions (do you want her to work? Be a SAHM and have kids?)

3. Have your own life and finances stable before committing to marriage!!!
I think this is the most important one, if you want to marry a foreigner you have to be extremely stable in your own job/finances. Coming from Ukraine,Brazil,Central America,Philippines to the USA is a huge step up from those countries. If they are living in poverty there and you bring them to the USA and you are making 35k and they are essentially living in "poverty" here they will resent you just as much because when you are in their home country you no doubt have off the vibe of being put together so coming to America and they slowly realize you are not they will think you are a fraud
(this I have seen most commonly with men who go to teach English in foreign countries. They make 30-40k in Asia teaching English which is alot and have huge exotic factor being white and in a decent position. They easily get a girlfriend and everyone wants to be their friend so they have huge social proof. Then they get married and move back to the USA and learn that teaching English is useless on a resume in the corp world in America. So now they struggle to find a job and end up making the same 35-40k in America which is not a high enough salary to have an actual true middle class life). Because atleast when the women were worse off financially in their home countries they had family and friends.

4. social circle and integrating your wife's culture into American culture. We all know American culture is sick now and is mainly consumerism culture. This is a battle that you will never stop fighting. You should take an interest in the girls home country and regularly try to incorporate it in to your lives even if you live in America and have no intention of living in hers. For example I love Brazilian Portuguese and have been trying to learn it as well as I genuinely enjoy listening to tom jobim, Joao Gilberto, toquinho, Tim maia, etc. Your wife will be giving 100% of her life to move to America for you so you have to be willing to give her 20-30% of it back so she doesn't grow to resent you.


5. Prenup , again this is all about being completely up front with a women. 99% of marriages don't have prenups. Even if you have nothing significant the whole process of both the man/woman finding about each others financial and legal background is a great way of being open and honest about each other's situations. If she won't sign one then you know she's not worth it, if you get married to a foreigner you basically have to disclose all your financial and legal information ANYWAY as part of the immigration process so theres almost no difference for her to NOT sign it.


Overall the statistics show the divorce rate is much lower for American/foreign marriages significantly.